How To Deal With Negative People At Work

Hi Elsa,

I have a coworker who has been so horribly rude and disrespectful to others, very few will work with her. I experienced it myself today. I forgot the first time she did it, thinking maybe it was just a bad day. But she has many of those. I’m grateful to have a job, so I try to find a silver lining when it’s hard. She often talks about how much she hates it.

I know Jupiter in Libra is about being able to work with others. But I just don’t know how to work with her. I tried to be cheerful, ask if there was anything I can do, if it would help to vent, help with more than my share of the duties etc. I think I’ve given her more chances than she deserves. I just figure now, that’s enough wasted energy, find someone else who’s less willing to wallow in self-pity and dis-empowerment and taking it out on others.

This has taught me that I can have a different reaction than her. I don’t have to act the same way when I’m having a tough day. Right afterward having that experience with her I was given a box of cookies in appreciation of my help to others at work. It really lifted my spirits.

When do you know when to give up for good when working with people, not just at work, but in all relationships?

Coworker from Virginia, USA

Hi Coworker,

You have my sympathy, having to work with a person who brings other people down. I have personal experience with this; I know just how bad it can be.  People like this can really impact your quality of life over time.

You’re doing well to recognize she is setting an example of how not to act, and using the situation to improve yourself.  It would nice if this effort was enough to allow you to feel at peace. I can see the reasons why it;s not, via your chart. I’ll explain, but to be clear up front, I don’t think you’re at fault.

You’ve got a combination of Gemini and Cancer. Your intellectual side (Gemini) has a handle on this.  You’re using your mental dexterity to cope. But your planets in Cancer want to control the work “family”.  This is like your “inner dictator”. This is not some huge part of your character, but it’s there.

The transit show this is a boundary issue for you. Identify what you can and cannot control. Do your best and let the rest go.

This person has transits too. Her day will come and you don’t have to be the one who takes her down.

“When do you know when to give up for good when working with people, not just at work, but in all relationships?”

This has to be taken on a case by case basis.  The first question to ask is, “Do you have a choice?”

It a person is difficult and you can go around them, I would.  But if they’re in your family, or at your work, you may not have the option. If this is the case, it comes down to patience and maybe endurance.

Here’s one tip, try to scale your problem. For example, the holidays are coming. Let’s say you have a family member who is hard to get along with. Rather than dreading the interaction, realize it’s only a day or two that you need to get along.  It you view it this way, it will probably be less stressful.

To apply to your situation, this gal may be difficult, but she’s one of many people you deal with each day.  You don’t have to focus on her. If you focus on everyone but her, it  will reduce her presence in your life to something more manageable.

Train yourself to let go of any negative feelings that crop up after a collision with her.  If you do this in combination with what you’re already doing, using her as an example of how not to be – she’ll truly become the catalyst for your own growth.

Good luck!

How do handle negative people in your life?

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