Hi Elsa,
I read your blog daily and thought I have nothing to lose emailing you. For context – I’m a 50 year old white woman living in Brooklyn. Bluntly, I need a job. More nuanced, at the start of the pandemic I lost my main source of income and have been questioning what to do since, because it no longer felt right. For decades I was in the Creative Advertising field and as the years passed it became more Corporate and demanding. I want a radical change but I also need to pay bills.
I realize that although I’ve intentionally stepped away, I am at an age where I wouldn’t exactly be welcomed back. With the advancements in technology and the ability to hire younger for less, I feel obsolete. I’m starting to panic and realistically don’t have a plan. I feel like I’m starting from scratch and at this age I “should” be more together.
The past few years, like most everyone, has seen a lot of loss and change. I don’t want to resist it, but I have no clue what to do and I have only myself to rely on.
Sincerely,
K from Brooklyn.
Hi K. These are real concerns but some are more real than others. If I can sort this for you it will simplify your mission which will raise the odds you complete it, successfully.
These are your main points:
I need a job.
I also need to pay bills.
I have only myself to rely on.
If you agree, your first order of business is to find a job. Finding an job is a practical matter at this point in time. That means, you may need to set your feelings aside, especially the feelings that add up to “self-undoing”. You want to THINK right now and I’ll explain as we go.
Things are rapidly changing. I understand feeling afraid or intimidated but set your mind on this fact: you’re going to enter the workplace.., like stepping into a stream. Once you’re in there, you can adapt. You might visualize this and keep in mind, it’s been done before. It’s possible to do!
Lets run through relevant parts of your mail.
“…at the start of the pandemic I lost my main source of income and have been questioning what to do since, because it no longer felt right. For decades I was in the Creative Advertising field and as the years passed it became more Corporate and demanding. I want a radical change but I also need to pay bills.”
Here the practicality, your “need” trumps your “wants”. If you accept this, the sentiment here would be, “I need a job, I hope I like the one I get!”
This edit prevents you from weighing things back and forth, endlessly, while your problems deepen.
I realize that although I’ve intentionally stepped away, I am at an age where I wouldn’t exactly be welcomed back.
You may be right, you would not be welcomed back, but I don’t think your age would be the reason. Lack of money would be the reason. Going out of business is the reason!
Your age in many cases is an asset – why? It’s because of the perception out there: younger people don’t have the work ethic, blah, blah, blah.
Now this is not necessarily true. There are plenty of young people out there bustin’ it, but I believe your view on this is outdated. People want to hire people who are reliable and won’t cause a problem. An older person has an advantage here and you should exploit it, the same way a younger person should exploit their youth!
With the advancements in technology and the ability to hire younger for less, I feel obsolete.
More like, with the advancements in technology, they don’t need to hire anyone. Because there are less opportunities, wages drop for all.
As for being “obsolete”, aren’t we all! AI can read your chart for you. I better come in with something more! If I fall prey to, “I feel obsolete”, there will be no blog here! I also need to work, so what? I set my feelings (and my pride) aside, and I carry on.
I don’t know what your specific skills are but sitting on the sideline will only degrade them, that much faster. You want to brush up the skills you have and acquire more. Make yourself a “good hire”.
I’m starting to panic and realistically don’t have a plan. I feel like I’m starting from scratch and at this age I “should” be more together.
This is an example of a feeling that is draining you. Panic + self-chastising? How does that help you get a job? Shut that off like a light. Try mulling your accomplishments and figure out how you’re going to frame them so the person doing the hiring sees you as a viable hire. <- This is the goal!
The past few years, like most everyone, has seen a lot of loss and change. I don’t want to resist it, but I have no clue what to do and I have only myself to rely on.
I’m sorry you’re alone to deal with this but even that has an upside. There is no one to interfere with your or distract you. You are free to work and this is the kind of thing to make clear in an interview.
If you need a job, then work towards being able to sell yourself as “K, a gal with years of experience, both on an off the job. You’re there to work. You’re not a thief nor a troublemaker and a person is not going to regret hiring you…”
People like this always get hired!
I think your main real problem is opting to actually do it. Set aside self-defeating behaviors. Start your job hunt and get something going. Do it now, because I don’t see this nut getting easier to crack in the foreseeable future.
Last, look at that woman in the picture. Fifties, right?
I’d hire her in an instant. She looks like she can and will do anything, especially because she’s done it all, already, many times. You have to decide, this is what you want to do!
Good luck!
Does she have to work in advertising? She should be useful in marketing jobs as well, and maybe related positions..Gotta be flexible in this market…
It would be great if someone saw this and gave her a job! 🙂
I can help K with her resume and how to land a job.
As a fellow creative who has worked solo for nearly a decade, I can tell K that remote work has changed the game. It’s a completely different job market now. I recently helped my 62 yo neighbour with his resume because he thought ageism was the reason he couldn’t find work. Nope, he just had a terrible resume, which is easier to fix than age 🙂
With a creative background in advertising there are plenty of options in the marketing and communications world.
Thanks, Kiki. If she contacts me, I’ll put you in touch.
She can get a job if she really wants one. She needs a great cover letter with a decent resume. I just googled ‘Brooklyn jobs marketing advertising’ and I see jobs for Marketing Associate and related positions. She can see what the jobs entail and brush up on software noted in the ads online.
Approaching 50 myself in a few months and I’ve had similar thoughts. I’ve been reading so many things about ageism increasing, jobs are harder and harder to get these days. I’ve been at my job 15 yrs and completely burnt out. Need a change badly and this inspired me to just get moving and make things happen so I can make a change. I’ve felt stuck for years and have only held myself back. Thank you for this post.
Welcome, Liz. If you ignore the scare media, what I am saying is correct. Good luck!
Also they demoralize young people by telling them they lack experience, yet they won’t allow them to gain any. I am a tactical thinker. A person can navigate this and overcome it with a little thought and planning.
You just have to consider the game board, then make your moves.
I will take your advice, thank you Elsa!
You’re welcome.
So true. My company recently hired 3 people in their 50s and 60s. My field is mostly remote and they want people who who are self motivated. They want people who will be reliable and not slack off without constant supervision. I’ve noticed a huge difference between productivity of most people in their 20s who work remotely vs 35+.
Similar situation here. I worked in Advertising and Marketing for years, then corporate sales and then I landed the hardest job so far: full time mother! I worked as “Mom” for 20 years and as my kids have made me “redundant” i felt the urgent desire to come back to full time work. I was terrified and so full of thoughts of self deprecation thoughts… my husband didn’t help as he kept reminding me that the few jobs available would only pay little and probably go to younger eager people. What really helped was a few sessions with a psychologist who helped me see that I was the only obstacle and we established the goals that my reason to go to work would be : self love, dignity and honour. It really worked. My attitude changed and every time i wrote a cover letter I focused on why I was applying for a job. After 20 years I was offered two jobs, went to three interviews, applied for 10 roles. I am shopping in the sales now for a new set of clothing as I haven’t worn office clothes in two decades! I encourage everybody to search for inner strength and believe in themselves… I wish your friend the best of lucks!!!
Welcome and congrats!!
Just throwing it out there,most schools in my area pay for driving training, in the least you immediately are immersed in early morning work and pay;in the least you opt out but have a CDL commercial driving license?lots of transportation jobs, whole different school of fish to swim with🎏Thousands of kids looking for support and direction creatively many directions to bloom from the trying.
For me, my brain seems to cook something way longer than needed. When I just eat it raw ,bang !no anxiety there !trying ,doing ,paycheck.
You inspire!
Hello, all I want to say, that one should never
give in to one thoughts, because our thoughts does not
represents the truth of the present moments. They
are build on what we did hear all our lifes. And yes,
it is true that when one reach age of 50 or so, the
companies retire many of that age. They are wanting
to bring in new people younger people so that they
may be with the company for some years to come.
But, with that comes that they also have to have those
whom be around them to professionalize the juniors.
Thank you for dissecting her thoughts, Elsa. It’s so helpful for things other than job searching to see how the stories we tell ourselves can get in our way. I needed this. Sending you best wishes for a happy and healthy 2024!
Good Lord I just want to say this is the most empowering blog in the internet! Honestly I have deleted most social apps and just check in here. Reality that shines right through the fog! How refreshing! Thank you, Elsa!
Thank you!
I changed my career at 49 and I’ll be the first to tell you it was difficult. I eventually realized that I was getting in my way.
I took a path that I thought was right for me. Key words: I thought. I met with a lot of resistance. I eventually had to step back and think about how I was contributing to the issues. After a very short stint in retail, I returned to my chosen field in a different role. I now realize what I was doing wrong all along.
You can do this!
I hire 50 and over, and am not the only one with this preference.
Just sayin’…
Really? The only answer is to go back to the job she doesn’t want. After all of what I’m sure she’s been through in the last couple of years. That’s pretty depressing, and 50 deserves more. A LOT more.
I’m in a similar boat. My career came to a screeching halt during the pandemic. It’s taken until now to realize that, because I HAVE been trying to get work in the same field and haven’t been able to. Now I take care of other people’s kids for 1/2 of what I used to make and it’s hard for me to find a reason to get out of bed in the morning. This definitely didn’t help..lol. There’s no hope Gen X, just get a f’n job and forget about your well being. Happy New year! lol
This is a country in decline. I feel the best option is to assimilate the facts and move on, move through this period.
Because compassion fatigue is a thing. If you wind up homeless, it going to be very difficult to find help.