I’m Not That Sensitive…

There was a time when being “not sensitive” was considered undesirable.  If someone told you that you were not sensitive, it was an insult.  It’s been said to me, and I always felt this was disrespectful to the individual.

Some people are more sensitive than others. This is a fact of life.  Some people are probably born less emotionally sensitive, but others may become less sensitive due to their environment, their experiences, or even via their education.

I’ve been working on a project with the Mechanic for months now. Yesterday he was critiquing my work, he’s a Virgo.  He started to couch his remarks and I told him to say whatever he wanted.  “I’m not that sensitive,” I explained.  “I am not attached to this, I am not going to have a cow if you speak…”

With that reassurance, he outlined the problems with my work in an efficient manner. I thanked him and today I will work on the edits.  My point is, I think the pendulum has swung in the other direction.  A person’s hyper-sensitivity is a pain in the ass to most people.

It might seem like this is cold.  It might conjure up Pluto in Capricorn or Saturn in Scorpio but I see it as more of a reflection of Neptune in Pisces and Jupiter in Gemini.

Neptune in Pisces – Can you not transcend that? Can you not get over yourself?
Jupiter in Gemini – Freedom of speech and thought.

When Saturn went into Libra, I wrote that being high maintenance would go out of vogue and it has.  This is the next thing, done like dinner. The idea you are going to restrict a person’s free speech and thought because of your sensitivity.

Can others see this shift?

40 thoughts on “I’m Not That Sensitive…”

  1. Avatar
    curious wanderer

    I can totally see it. “Sensitive” is now somewhat derogatory, implying you have to handle someone with kid gloves, and there is little patience for that these days. It seems to me that what people want to see now is compassion, empathy, ya know, “sensitive” to what others are going through, but not someone who is going to fall into a black hole of their own emotions.

  2. I tend to be flooded by my feelings (Scorpio Jupiter trine to Pisces moon) so I go out of my way to avoid situations that trigger potentially ‘negative’ emotions, like not leaving myself open to disappointment for example.

  3. And this -> ‘Neptune in Pisces – Can you not get over yourself?’ Neptune is transiting my natal/progressed Pisces moons and I take myself too seriously and I wish I would knock. it. off. And honestly? The problem predates the transit.

    Thanks for the post, Elsa.

  4. I have a Pisces moon and I’ve always been a sensitive person, both emotionally and intuitively. If I don’t like what’s being said to me or someone’s energy, I lose respect for that person and just try to avoid them. I think that insensitive people don’t really realize how negative they come across to others and that negativity just makes me shut down when I have to deal with them.

    It wasn’t until I was working from the boss from Hell who felt that she had free reign to criticize every piece of work I did for her, that I learned to toughen up a bit and listen to her constant criticism. People who think they know everything usually don’t.

    My problem with these people is that I’ve never been an on the spot arguer. I have to process the situation and usually come up with a rebuttal at a later time. My sister who has a strategically placed Virgo moon is always up for vehemently defending herself until the other person gets a headache and gives up. She’s very critical by the way and is never wrong.

    Just like insensitive people think overly sensitive people are annoying, I do consider people who are insensitive to other people to be socially inept. The piece that is missing to these people’s personalities is compassion.

    Criticism is fine as long as it’s given in context but to be overly insensitive all the time like my old boss indicates that the person is arrogant and needs to be trained to have better interpersonal social skills.

    1. See, GreenTree, I think it’s fine to be sensitive but jacked to pretend to be sensitive, or taught to be sensitive, when you’re really not.

      Also, people are more sensitive at certain times in their life, less so at other times due to transits of life events. I think that this natural way of being and living has been jacked with, no different that poisoning the food supply and it would be best to go back to our natural states of being, without judgement, understanding that people are diverse…and your problem or business to try to control.

  5. Been thinking about this lately. My dog is very sensitive. He’s the Woody Allen of dogs. Look at his funny and he pees and crawls into his little kennel. He also is very smart and loving. He wants to sleep under the covers, and would go back to the womb if he could.

    My daughter’s dog is not smart enough to be neurotic, but is a bundle of joy. Interestingly, my little dog is smart enough to mimic the dumber dog, which gets him out of his shell. My dog suffers more than my daughter’s cute little ball of fluff. In both cases, they are absolutely being authentic.

    It’s been a lesson to me. Intelligence + high sensitivity + trauma can be a sad combo, and people who feel like tragic victims (and maybe are) can go on to be unproductive and a burden through their stance alone.

    Being highly sensitive can be a curse, and it is better sometimes to just get over it and bounce around like an idiot. Doesn’t make me an idiot, just less of an over-sensitive pain in the ass.

  6. I meant, look at him funny. Looking at his funny sounds like a euphemism. Oh, I’m so sensitive! Now I feel embarrassed!
    … get over yourself, girl!

  7. Yeah, I really think the times are too tough for the kind of studied, precious sensitivity that used to be celebrated as some sort of cultural achievement. It’s like REALLY? Look around you!! You really need some sort of extra super giant special care?

    I am a Cancer and am sensitive, but developing the ability to maintain perspective is not just a vital life skill but a way to be kind to others.

  8. yup, definitely felt it. since i’ve lowered the rate of my sensitive reactions towards certain people/situtations, the friction and pain in the ass i know i was causing has somewhat lowered. but its seriously a killer having to diminish my emotions and how i express them. this Pisces Moon/Rising takes it deep and its never easy detaching

  9. You can’t take responsiblity for other people’s sensitivities. No one has the right NOT to be offended.

    If you speak your own truth from your own heart, people may react however they wish.

    The fear of what other people will think is a mind prison.

  10. Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person
    does a great job of covering this aspect of the self. I recommend investigating it.

  11. I see GreenTree’s point. I’m surrounded by Pisces Moons, especially with Gemini Sun (mom, brother, best friend, fav musician). The Pisces Moon person is so sensitive to energy that it can become painful just to co-exist with someone who has “negative” energy. The issue is that “negative” is subjective. If the person isn’t a serial killer or sadistic, then the “negative” energy could be transitory as Elsa mentioned. Not everyone is going to be “positive” at all times so that Pisces Moon (or any other type of sensitivity) can function.

    I have 12H Scorpio Moon trine 8H Cancer Sun and Neptune in the first, so I’m sensitive but also used to people being insensitive towards me. I had to grow a crusty shell…um…thicker skin to function socially. Bc of that shell, some sensitive people have called me “insensitive” but it’s really me teaching the lesson that we (sensitive people) can’t expect others to walk on eggshells (going out of their way to be UNLIKE themselves) to spare our hurt feelings.

    The Jupiter in Gemini transit is showing us how to be more objective with how we interpret information. My mom’s superpower is hurling hurtful one-liners at the speed of light but she often doesn’t realize she hit a sensitive spot. Even though she fully expects me to intuit when she’s feeling hyper-sensitive (I have Venus and Mars in Gemini). This transit has helped improve our communication. I’ve added compassion and clarity to my speech and writing, including saying “ouch!” if she verbally punched me. She’s learning to tell me when her hearing is sensitized or doesn’t feel like socializing.

    With Neptune in Pisces and Jupiter in Gemini, it is uncomfortable to move out of our comfort zones but that’s where we’ll find our greatest (social) rewards.

  12. I’m sensitive (Cancer) but it’s very controlled (by Saturn).

    I don’t really like feelings, but I got ’em, so whaddya gonna do. Me, I try to sit on them.

  13. Interesting. I’m sensitive (Pisces Moon) but not to criticism (Venus in Virgo) or when given straight forward direction for my own benefit (Jupiter in Cap?–maybe).

  14. I don’t believe that sensitive or insensitive trumps the other right now. I suspect it’s the Pluto-Uranus square…for every issue, there seems to be a polarization of sensitivities. One side sees something as a non-issue (insensitive), only to be confronted by the this-is-an-issue side (sensitive). Just about everything that we bought into over the years is up for reconsideration. Capricorn-Pluto (corporations, ethics, power, secrets, greed, conservative) meets Aries-Uranus (the individual, confrontation, humanitarian, liberal, freedom). The insensitive rich were content until the 99% became too sensitive. Insensitive bank executives weren’t concerned about their own ethics until the banks collapsed, which brought out the sensitive stock holders. Insensitive heterosexuals weren’t bothered about marriage until the sensitive gays wanted the same equalities and legal benefits. Insensitive regimes were doing fine until their citizens became too sensitive to the suppression and self-indulgence of the leaders. I have been very surprised by my own personal reactions to particular events…I’ve been forced to consider many ideologies that I was not aware of (insensitive) prior to recent times…some of this evaluation has made me hyper-sensitive to some issues. Guess you could say that I’m bi-sensitive…I can swing both ways depending on the issue or who gets in my face.

  15. Been dealing with the same thing with the inlaws. I’m seen as too sensitive, yet they are the ones that can’t seem to respect our differences. I think they are really struggling with Jupiter in Gemini, as it’s a one way street for them. They demand to be allowed their freedom of speech and thought, yet don’t give that same right to others (especially those that disagree with them). Neptune in pisces and saturn in early scorp are my friends. They are creating a grand water trine in my chart and helping me to transcend it 😉 So to bring this back to me being too sensitive, I’m pretty sure at this point, they are projecting their own sensitivity onto me. Instead of dealing with their inability to deal with jupiter in gemini,

  16. Neptune in Pisces “Victim hood”. It seems that being OVERLY sensitive would negate the sensitivity of the individual – they would not respect the opinions or feelings of others because they would be “too hurt”.

    Being sensitive of others is great, even necessary to lubricate social situations and as a cornerstone to empathy, but there needs to be balance with in the sensitivity of individuals and the points of view of others(Saturn in Libra): aka “You can give it but you can’t take it”. Whining about “hurt” feelings and not learning how to process criticism to grow is a crutch.

  17. I’m a Pisces moon in the 10th house with lots of 12th house action and a prominent Neptune on an angle. I am WAY too sensitive, and I know it can be really irritating to other people. I have been looking for a way to transcend this so I don’t perceive hurts so readily for a LONG time. Still looking. I’m highly intuitive, but definitely feel like it can be a curse.

    1. Avatar
      Valerye Zerra

      To ‘nmr103’….
      I have Pisces moon (conj. Venus) in the 10th, Gemini Uranus in the 12th, and Neptune (conj. Chiron) the focal planet of a tight T-square in the 5th.

      It might be interesting to ‘talk’ to you….if you ever see this!

      A fellow ‘Fishy Moon’

  18. I do see this shift, but I’m really irritated. I wish people would stop and consider the person they’re dealing with before they call someone overly sensitive. I have Mars in Libra (conjunct Saturn and Pluto) and I try so hard to be nice, to not be fussy (I feel like I’m a b**** if I’m fussy), to be understanding to the other person, to ignore everything *I* might not like in order to make sure the other person is happy, to be sweet and kind and easygoing and flexible and happy and … NICE daggummit. I intentionally hold back from letting people know when they’ve hurt my feelings because I don’t want to offend them, I don’t want to be rude. Well, 5 months ago, my progressed Sun jumped over into Aries and very shortly after that I started getting really sick of tipping the scales so far in favor of everyone but myself. Just really, really sick of feeling like, in order to be *nice*, I have to keep my mouth shut and ignore things that bother me. Why to *I* always have to be the nice one? Why do I always have to subjugate *my* feelings in order to be thoughtful of someone else’s? That’s not fair. Not fair at all. … So I started trying to figure out how to speak up for myself without feeling like it made me a b****… Honestly, for me, it’s probably the healthiest thing I’ve ever done… So imagine my shock when people turn around and get mad at *me* and attack me with the term “hyper-sensitive”! Excuse me? *You* were rude. So, instead of just swallowing it (like I’ve done all my life) and paving the way for you to continue being rude in the future, I very calmly and politely told you that you hurt my feelings and I didn’t like it and could you please not do that. This is called honest adult communication. It’s extremely uncomfortable for me to tell them that because I try so hard not to be rude myself! How dare someone turn around and be offended that I called them on *their* rudeness. How DARE they tell me it’s *my* fault and tell me I’m just too sensitive. Seems to me that they’re the ones who are being overly sensitive. Who can’t handle someone simply telling them they’re rude and asking them to stop? It boggles my mind. Rudeness on their part Does Not Equal over-sensitivity on mine, and the accusation thereof *quadruples* their original rudeness. Not fair! Not fair at all…

    So tell me, how is someone with such a strong Libran bent supposed to react when they encounter this? It’s like, as soon as I realized it wasn’t actually fair to side against myself all the time and started to speak up for myself, the world got pissed and is trying to put me back in the place I was by calling me over sensitive and making it seem like I have no right to dislike their rudeness or the lopsidedness of my relationships. I’m sooo frustrated.

    …sorry for the rant…

  19. So easy for natal Mars direct, isn’t it? From the natal Mars retro side, I’d have to ask who did you say is high maintenance? : D

    Myself? Yes, I am dealing with my masochistic misgivings, by walking away from the sadists. There’s really nothing more to say. If I try to save or make a relationship by discussing it, they just up the game. It’s a no win.

  20. I heard

    “Announcing you are offended is basically telling the world you can’t control your own emotions, so everyone else should do it for you.”

    I so agree with this, and I am sensitive 😉

  21. Yes, a lot of us have confused being insecure and filled with fears and doubts with being sensitive.

    Sensitivity brings Awareness.

    A lack in our emotional coping skills is a different matter altogether. It results in the use of emotional manipulation, which is a use of force applied emotionally through the use of Guilt.

    Since anything and everything that is associated with the use of force is breaking down and everything that is out of balance is accelerating, yes, I have noticed the trend.

    People are tired of having to live within the straight jackets of other people’s fears and insecurities. Go learn how to cope instead.

  22. I don’t think there is a person in the world more sensitive than me. It accomplished nothing though, so I’ve been honing my Ice Queen.

  23. I do see a shift that’s been evolving. I am kind of tired of insensitive divas. And I am tired of the over sensitivity that everything has to be politically correct. It’s exhausting. I am not unaware of how it needs to change but it’s still exhausting. I think compassion is out there…we just nee d tap into it. More one one compassion.

  24. @Bullwinkle …you have a way with words I like and agree with what you expressed in #30. Pluto in Capricorn squaring Saturn in Libra early on, surely helped things along also.

  25. I see a distinction between being easily offended and being sensitive. I am sensitive but I own my own responses to things. I don’t make others responsible for my emotions.
    This post reminds me of my sister. It’s impossible not to offend her. I don’t understand this way of living at all. I think it may be more a lack of trust in the world and not sensitivity. In this case I think it’s pretty selfish behavior. It comes from a place of wanting to control others imo.

  26. @Libra Noir:) “This post reminds me of my sister. It’s impossible not to offend her.” Well put! My only sister in law is like this.

    She was rude/disrespectful towards me from our very first meeting and no matter how hard, my Libra parts really, really, tried……she is this way and if I was Mother Theresa it would be no different.

    whew…I’m off the hook!

  27. I think sensitive people do a service to humanity. Without sensitive people, we could quickly devolve into brutes. Sensitive people question war, question violent herd mind, question tacky restrictive laws. Sensitive people add intelligence, a subtle intelligence that encourages conversation and common understanding. Sensitive people reject cliche and objectification. All of the great artists were sensitive people. No, I don’t think we will be going away any time soon. However, perhaps there is a rift between insensitive people and sensitive people that will continue to grow. Insensitive people will build their bunkers, and sensitive people will grow their communities…

  28. Agreeing with Libra Noir here also about the difference between being easily offended and being sensitive. I’m highly sensitive in a physical way and also very aware of others and their little nuances. But I’m not easily offended. People have the right to their opinions and even their criticism, not that I have to agree. (On the other hand, saying “you’re just too sensitive” while actually being vicious is a form of abuse.) I’d call people who are easily offended insecure, not sensitive.

  29. You have a soft spot. Contrary to popular belief, it is not where you are weak, it is the gateway to indestructible power.

  30. @LibraNoir–makes sense. It’s the difference between being sensitive and hairtrigger. It’s possible to be sensitive without uncontrollably shooting off.

  31. Every time somebody makes that comment to me (cos I’ve gotten it a lot.. ”you don’t seem like the sensitive type”) I just think to myself, ”yeah, that’s right, I’m not a cry-baby”. Everybody is sensitive about something. Well, maybe not everybody, but you get the point. Most people are more sensitive than they seem… some have just found better ways of coping if you ask me.

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