Indications Of Problems With Friends

friendsWhat are the markings of rough relationships with friends, e.g. transits/progressions/solar return chart?

– From Sweden

This is complex question because “rough” can mean almost anything. So can, “friends”.

Traditionally speaking, friends are associated with the 11th house. If Mars is transiting your 11th house, you may fight with your friends.  A Pluto transit can wipe you out on the “friend” front.

Your friends may be a burden with Saturn transiting the 11th, or you may have some responsibility towards them. You may lack friends… and need to do something about it!

As for your Solar Return or Progressed chart, these same associations would apply but I don’t think covers all the potential reasons for strife with friends.

Specifically, we all play out our various psychodramas. It’s very common a “friend” is used as a stand-in or substitute for some family member that’s got you twisted up.  This would be similar to projecting onto a therapist.

In a case like this, a friend is used and sometimes even sacrificed for your pathology. The 11th house may not be part of the scenario.

Anyone else have ideas?

13 thoughts on “Indications Of Problems With Friends”

  1. “It’s very common a “friend” is used as a stand-in or substitute for some family member that’s got you twisted up. This would be similar to projecting onto a therapist.”

    Sorry I don’t quite understand. Do you have an example for the therapist?

  2. @Elsa Elsa, in your posts you frequently talk about projections. Is there a book you could recommend on this topic? Perhaps something you read and really liked, that would be very helpful. Thank you!

    1. Excellent question. Unfortunately I don’t know of a book. I think I picked this up via conversations over the years. I also went to therapy for three years in order to sort my childhood. It’s very common people play these things out. Maybe search “recreate your trauma”. It’s definitely worth the effort needed to understand this, fully.

      1. Thank you for the suggestion, Elsa. I did have a feeling that perhaps your knowledge doesn’t come from a book but rather from personal life experience and lessons. Those teach us better than any books out there, not to discount the value of the latter of course.

  3. Yep. Pluto in my 11th for the past 14 years. All friends made and previous to that are gone except 2. Both scorpios. I still only see them a couple times a year because we moved to another state last year. Many blowup type losses of friends too. Deception and back stabbing as well as just people talking shit on me, or to my face, fake friends, disappearing friends. Weird to think back on it actually… Haven’t made any new friends at the new house either because it’s new, no neighbors yet, just construction all around me. I’m 52 and the last 18 years I was in mom mode. Friends came from my daughter’s associations. People we met through her school or sports or activities. Not sure how to make friends without that connection now. I did go to an astrology conference and a KetoCon conference and met people I these industries that I’m interested in, but mostly it was shop talk, people weren’t reaching out and neither was I probably to make friendships. Pluto will go into my 12th. My 12th cusp is exactly 0° Aquarius, so Pluto will enter my 12th AND Aquarius at the same time. Wonder how that will play out?? I would love to hear how this worked for you Elsa while Pluto went through your 12th? Did the “no friends left thing” resolve itself or should I just count on having no friends from here on out?

  4. “I would love to hear how this worked for you Elsa while Pluto went through your 12th? Did the “no friends left thing” resolve itself or should I just count on having no friends from here on out?”

    Good question!
    The 12th house is a prison. Pluto in the 12th house is deeply isolating however, you have what you need to survive.

    In my case, it was a small inner circle that sustained me. But I did have other friends. I equated that transit, often, with being something akin to a submarine. I sort of surfaced now and then to interact with people, but was invariably pulled back down.

    So I guess the answer is yes and no. Not many people want to talk to a person stuck in the abyss. But if you’re interesting, then hey! It’ll be all right. 🙂

  5. I have Scorpio on the 11th house w/Pluto in the 8th and Mars in the 4th. I don’t have a lot of friends – hardly any at all, but the ones I do have are deep and usually connected with occult/metaphysical study. Also, my husband is my best friend – maybe that’s Mars in the 4th? He is not into the occult, but he has gotten more metaphysical through the years.

    The ‘problems with friends’ with this set-up is you aren’t going to be the bubbly one with tons of friends and all kinds of wholesome fun things going on all the time. Not at all. A lot of alone time, hiding out time.

  6. I have an 11th House Lilith. Never had a broad circle of friends when I was younger, and only a few close ones now that I am old. On the other hand, I do have a talent for reaching the masses through my astrology blog. Originally, I wrote a series on Lilith in all twelve houses – you may find it at Pluto in Virgo at My brother has Saturn in the 11th House. He has no close friends but is very dependent on his spouse. I believe Isabel Hickey mentioned this possibility and she appears to be correct. My sister has the Moon in Gemini in the 11th House, and she has a ton of friends and a large network, but the whole thing is opposite Neptune/Mercury/Mars, so she is a liar who attracts the sort of people who are often attracted to charismatic movers. In my experience, the more planets in the 11th House, the more stress in the subject’s life due to friends, and the more reliance on friends for career advancement. As a personal preference, I am rather glad of a relatively empty 11th house – it does incline towards being the master of ones own ship.

  7. Find it curious reading about Aquarius, having Sun, Moon and Venus therein, and the association with friends, groups, clubs, ect – just doesn’t gel with me – I don’t seek friendship ( it happens when it happens) nor belong to any clubs, groups, associations and find a lot of New Age Aquarius stuff tiresome. My 3 best friendships have been with Leo women. My 11th house moon has sextile to Mars/Saturn conjunction in Sag, a wide opposition to Pluto in Virgo, and an out of sign trine to Jupiter in Scorpio. My mother see-sawed between grinding me to a pulp, then fixing me with tea and sympathy, so I could get up and she could knock me down again. It became her habit, she came at me with her fingernails, tried to brand me with a hot iron, turned my father against me and so on. So I often attract females who are similarly (covertly) vicious, and am immensely grateful for the Leo friends I have enjoyed – they showed me humour, gave me confidence and love.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Scroll to Top