Is Aries Abusive?

Dear Elsa,

This is a question about Aries in a person’s chart and fighting.  Do you  find this placement in men who are abusive and where would that be in the chart??? Just a question I didn’t want to  post it on the blog, I don’t want to offend (Libra mars).  Just curious.

Libra Mars

Libra,  absolutely not. Aries energy is like any other energy. It’s neutral until directed.  Anytime someone acts heroically, this is  Aries energy. For example, it is Aries that runs into a burning building to rescue the trapped. Aries is brave!

When you’re talking abuse you are most likely looking at Mars perverted.  People who are motivated (Mars) to hurt others are generally frustrated. They feel impotent and try to compensate by hurting others. Gay bashing is a good example of this. People who takes shots at me on this blog – same thing.  But plain Aries..?

When I see Aries in a chart, I assume I am dealing with a hero until proven otherwise.   Remember this guy:

Man Is Rescued by Stranger on Subway Tracks Some guy started convulsing, fell onto the subway tracks. 50 year old, Wesley Autrey instantly jumped onto the tracks (Aries is impulsive) and lay on top the man to keep him down as the train passed over their bodies. As far as I am concerned, this is quintessential Aries energy.

Remember Mars /Aries is the God of War. He is confident and full of bravado. He know he is bigger, stronger, etc and would not use his prowess against a woman as this is cowardly, a trait which is anathema to Aries.

What is your experience with Aries?

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32 thoughts on “Is Aries Abusive?”

  1. My Aries stepdad was very abusive to my Mom but worships his new wife. I can’t figure it out. I have two or three Aries friends but don’t usually tend to attract the sign in general.

  2. I do seem to attract Aries – they are overpresented among my friends (although all Cardinal signs would be that) and even live with a quadruple one. What all my Aries friends have in common is that they are quite straightforward and even blunt at times, but they completely miss the malice that usually makes people abusive, either verbally or physically.

  3. Everybody has Aries in the chart somewhere so I don’t quite understand the question. Do you mean lots of planets in Aries, or something like that? Mars is supposed to function very well in Aries, it’s Mars own sign.

    I have noticed that people with certain type of Mars energy seem to go on the offensive very easily and quickly, but I am not talking physical violence.

    My father was physically abusive, violent in terms of yelling in the home, hitting and all that stuff. He didn’t have anything in Aries, but he had a stellium in Scorpio, which is a different type of Mars energy.

  4. I had a brief relationship with an Aries male, years and years ago. I saw him snap once, about something ridiculous, and he kind of scared me a little, so I walked away. My husband has Aries rising, but most definitely has no violent tendencies. Funny all the other Aries that have been in my life, and still are, are women not men. They run the gamut, from projecting meekness, confident assertiveness, to all-out abrasiveness (but not violent).

  5. I have an Aries moon, but the times I’ve felt violent have nothing to do with Aries or with my sister’s Aries moon (she’s the only one I’ve been violent with- as kids). It was My mars in Scorpio on the 3rd/4th cusp- which is what I attribute anger to. Water mars can be deeply angry cus they aren’t as good at expressing anger because growing up their expressions of anger are often misunderstood or scare the crap out of people! Aries is anything but abusive. And their “fighting” is actually a challenge, and they do it for fun sometimes- which is part of the reason they forget fights a lot of the time- they’re amusing for some reason.

  6. The next child in my family is the first son. He is an aries. Ed is one of the few people that I trust with my life. He is rock solid. He is also ridiculously competitive. In a family of quick wits, he has a dorky sense of humor. He is loyal.

    On the other hand, beware of the insecure aries male, I had an aries boss. He was threaten by competence.

  7. I think Aries energy is very competative, especially when it comes to wanting to be the leader in any situation. I have nicknamed a couple of my Aries friends the name “Bossy.” My mom has Aries moon and when she worked, her nickname in the workplace was “Sarge.”

  8. Eh, Aries doesn’t bother me. Abusive behavior usually has to do with some kind of harsh Mars aspect that the person isn’t dealing with well, it’s not necessarily an “Aries” thing.

  9. Since there are so many components that make up a birth chart… planets in signs, aspects, and houses, including progressed planets in aspect and in houses, along with transits, it would be hard to pin down the effects of just one sign in the multidimensional natal, and progressed chart. When it comes down to it a planet in a sign is always watered down or enhanced by an aspect to another planet, so there really is no way to tell the effects of just one planet in a sign. It would be wiser to study the individual charts in depth.

  10. Hmmm my experience with Aries hasnt been abusive. I think any sign can be a abusive. I really agree energy is neutral til directed. My brother is a triple Aries (Sun, Moon & Mercury) and he is the very sweet & a perfect gentlemen. He though like an aries has a hot temper if you get into an argument with him and he gets quite heated but he is also the first to apologize and forget. He is also very brave and chivalrious.

  11. Try dealing with an Aries Rising and Pisces SUn. Passive Aggressiveness is the theme here. Playing head games can be a form of abuse, also dishonesty, being self absorbed and selfish. there are lots of ways of being abusive that won’t get you in trouble with the law. I have extra sensitive sensors on high alert for any form of abuse- subtle or obvious. Frankly, I find it’s a rare to find a person who isn’t indulging in some form of abuse. They call them Saints and they aren’t down here groveling in the mix with the rest of us. I’m trying not to be jaded about humanity but it seems like people where a lot kinder in the past then they are now.

  12. Reading this post actually made me laugh: mainly because I am a double Aries (Sun and Ascendant) and I don’t think I am anywhere near abusive or aggressive. In fact, I have been told that I *should* be more aggressive/assertive and I should stand my ground more! At times I wonder if I’m even an Aries -_-… It’s all that 12th house sun energy, I’m assuming.

    However, I do have a Mars in a fire sign (Leo) with a hard aspect with Uranus (in Scorpio), making me very susceptible to violent tempers. And it has happened, but never to the point of abuse. And usually, this happens when I’m very pent up or when everything I’ve bottled up (Thanks to the Moon in Cancer) has overflowed. Knowing this now that I’m older, I keep lines of communication open in my relationships just so I do not have these outbursts.

    Throughout my life, however, there were notable acts of Aries-ness. What comes to mind is how I moved to another country to pursue my career, experience the metropolitan city life and establish my identity away from my family (this is hard, being Moon in cancer). I guess you can say that takes some courage to do that but as I always say… Can’t just anyone do that easily? 😛

  13. Avatar
    Jamal Jenkins

    My father is a Cancer born July 21st, 1958. He was both physically and emotionally abusive towards me for years. I guess the stress of being completely blind, low income and a single parent with physical ailments was too much for him. Now I’m almost 25 years old and I hardly speak to or see my father. And that’s sad because we only live less than 2 miles away from each other.

  14. I am in a relationship with an aries he is a little older than me and I just got my hair cut and he got mad not because I cut my hair but saying I got someone else, then we went out to the beach one night he got mad about my dress I wore and was like I wonder who all saw you in this dress before I did and I am like I cant do this and some times he will call me and ask me where I am I be like I am in the house and he be like good thing like I am gone caught him doing something then he always bringing up that I think he is cheating I never mentions stuff like that or accuse him of anything he always trying to compare me to other females he has dealt with we been together six months to long I am about to run away from this one and he also told me that we are for keeps and I need to run he always has something negative to say to me and I am the type that you try to hurt me I will get you back for that and he brought the ex in a conversation once and I went off and told him to go be with her no problem I know I must get out of this if he throw his hands or fist to hit me I am gone break him down like a 12 gauge so to keep it down I will walk away

  15. i have a lover with aries,he loves me madly, but he is over possesive, very controlling in one moment, and in other moment he is very very sweet loving,like no one else. but always he asks for screenshots if my phone is busy or i receive message, asks my passwords of facebooks etc, i cant talk to any guy, he says you are mine, and only mine. i m too beautiful, he respects me, but i am scared sometimes.

  16. I’m a Scorpio dating an Aries. He’s very verbally abusive. When he is feeling insecure or stressed, he takes it out on me and he calls me fat, unattractive, dumb etc. He also expects me to be 100% PERFECT. If I whine a little bit about my job, he throws a tantrum. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. When I first met him, he was such a gentleman and a romantic.. Now it seems all we ever do is fight and I’ve forgiven him so many times that I’m past my limit. He is so obsessed with meeting “goals” that he expects me to be the same way, and I am but I’m more of a planner/doer and he does everything without thinking. If he pulls a muscle he will still keep working out because he’s a bullet train that doesn’t stop. I understand rest is important in order to perform optimally. And no matter how obvious I try to make him understand that I am not lazy and that maybe being efficient is not as bad as working too hard, he makes me feel inferior again. I’m a charity he apparently donates to when he takes me out and gives me presents and I am notch in his belt (his words) Oh Aries are mean without a doubt and I only put up with it because I love him (I’m regretting not nipping this probes in the bud right away) I was scared to tell him anything about my day because who knew how he would react to me if I talked about my truest, deepest thoughts during the day. He’s a moody immature brat who’s true side comes out when he’s with me and his family. I just don’t know what to do anymore because he takes care of me and when he’s not bad I feel so loved.. :-/

    1. Id think the criticism is a lie. Only made to make you feel small. Remember you are none of those things. It’s meant to take your power.

  17. This hero you speak of lives in my neighborhood. This story was wild when it happened. True hero indeed. My husband has 3 planets in Aries and he’s definitely not abusive.

  18. Well about a year ago, it was in the summer and I always spend the summer with my dad(An Aries), I am a daddy’s girl. So one night there was an altercation between my step-sister’s(she’s a leo) boyfriend(16). I heard loud noises and thumping sounds, so I got out of bed and ran down the steps. My father was fighting with this 16 year old boy because he claims that he disrespected him and slightly pushed him. Now I’m thinking, he’s 16 your 50 years old, he’s young and naive and teens do stupid things. Your the adult here, so why are you stooping down to a 16 year old’s level, handle the situation like an adult and stop acting like a teenager. So I thought of all that while prying my father off this kid and turned into the adult because that’s just my nature(I’m a Libra female btw). I tell my dad to go upstairs and the boy to leave, and they do what they’re told. Now I’m going upstairs and I go into my room. After a few minutes my dad storms in and yells at me saying something like, “Don’t you ever stop me or do something like that again”. I say, “Why are you fighting a 16 year old he’s a teenager an adolescent.” So he starts telling me what “happened” cursing, and raising his voice even higher. He leaves and I go to my stepmom(we’re really close, she’s a virgo). We go into her sons room(he wasn’t home) and sit on the bed just talking about what happened. He has gotten physical with her before and my stepbrother almost got into a fight with my dad because of that. 20 minutes later he comes storming in, heated as ever. I’m just watching him yell at my stepmom using foul words. So I step up and say something trying to help and smooth things over, and come to a conclusion but he didn’t want to listen so I said that I didn’t care since he doesn’t want to listen. Next thing I know he slaps me hard and this isn’t the first time he’s done it. I’m getting angry to the point I start crying and I stand up on the bed and yell at him saying all kinds of things while pointing my finger at him. This was my breaking point and he got even more violent and slapped me again then he got up on the bed too. So I try to fight him and he tries to hold me down. He gets a hold of me, and “tries” to cover my mouth to muffle my screams, but instead he has his large hand covering my mouth and nose. At this point I couldn’t breathe, so I try throwing puches back at him hoping he’ll let got but he just kept telling me to shut up. He then lets go after my stepmom tries to get him away from me. So I’m like crying but not sobbing more like hatefully crying. I go down the stairs to call the cops or else he’s not going to stop his actions and cool down his temper. Right when I get the phone in my hands he pins me down, twists my arm behind my back, close to breaking it, and snatches the phone out of my hand. So I leave the house and went to our neighbors house hoping they could help but thet weren’t answering the door although their car was outside. My stepmom comes and tells me to get inside, and I listen to her and walk straight to the kitchen to get a water bottle. My dad comes and we’re yelling at each other and I’m trying my best not curse because it didn’t seem right to curse at my dad or around him. I said something along the lines of killing because I can get pretty angry and crazy, I mean I bottle up all the times I’ve been mad so what do you expect. So he grabs knives and throws them on the floor towards me saying “go ahead” over and over again. I just drink some of my water and try to walk away but he blocks my direction still trying to go on with this fight. Some things were said and he ended up punching me in the face(on purpose). At first I thought my nose was broken but I guess it was sprained, I’m not sure. After that I forgot what happens but I remember texting my step-sister’s boyfriend and saying that it’s okay you don’t have to be sorry, my dad is a psycho. Then crying myself to sleep in my stepmom’s arms while my dad had left somewhere. The next day he was still talking about this situation, he gave me his phone to talk to my brother who was in juvie(or jail) at the time. So while my brother was talking to me he told me all the stuff I did, was wrong of me and I’m like “Do you know what he did to me because it seems like he only told what I did”. I tell him that he hit me and that he’s done it before and how violent he was and he was extremely surprised saying “Oh I didn’t know daddy hit you”, and I’m pissed at my dad because he’s playing the victim here. After telling my brother that, he wanted to speak to my dad again. So I return his phone to him and go back to my room, I’m packing my stuff getting ready to leave and go back home with my mom(she’s another fire sign but I don’t remember which one, her birthday is July 28). A day before I leave my dad takes me to go see my cousins and my aunts and uncles that came to visit at my other aunt’s house. Now he’s acting like nothing ever happened. He tries to talk to me and tries to make me laugh, and he succeeds. I didn’t want to laugh because I was mad at him still but he tickled me so I really didn’t have a choice. A few minutes later some things were said that I can’t remember and he slapped me again because I said “I don’t care”. Now I start getting mad again and face the passenger seat window of the car. After awhile he says he’s sorry and that he needed to knock some sense into or something like that. The day I’m leaving, I’m in my mom’s car and she knows what happened and she doesn’t seem to think he’s at fault here which I should’ve known. Her and I have also had problems in the past, arguing and fighting but she became more understanding. She wanted me to apologize which I thought was irrelevant and still never did. So with this story, that is 100% true(I mean what do I have to lie for?) kinda proves that an Aries man can be abusive when pushed far enough. My dad and I are great now but still have a little bumps here and there, my stepmom and I are still close as ever and I’m closer to mom too, so this is kind of the first time where I actually felt that I love my mom.

  19. Now I like this Aries guy, he has a commanding presence and is very muscular and tall, probably 6’5-7. He was a felon and has been banned and deported from the U.S. He is a better and smarter person considering the fact the fact the he went to juvie, prison, and the army, in my opinion. He also has a deep voice, anyway I’m a little hesitant on pursuing this guy. One because he is an Aries and you know the story between my father who is one himself but the guy can be sweet and loving from what I see in his pictures. He was even rubbing noses with a kitten. Now if you seen the pictures I’ve seen, it may seeem like he doesn’t smile, laugh, or isn’t a social, fun-loving person but he truly is all of that behind his mean badboy exterior. I really like him but I don’t want to date him because I feel like he’s gonna be like my dad and I can’t deal with that again.

  20. This one did me a solid by being honest and a bit kind when he could have lied. Libra would have lied.

    I have an Aries friend. He pushes me forward but he has a Pisces moon so he kind of gets me.

  21. Both parents Aries. Dad with a Cancer Mars and mom with Aires Mars. You’d think that would mean a lot of fighting but no. Mom was definitely more liable to blow up but Dad was a Navy pilot so probably more chill, not sweating the small stuff.

  22. I have strong Aries in my chart, I’m competitive and very me-first. I like having my fighting spirit. I don’t take any crap from people, and i like to tell it the way it is. If you want to say its abusive because I fight back in a very upfront and direct way, my aries frankly doesn’t care, i shrug tgings off easily, i can be furious and 5 minutes later completely over it. I have Saturn opp aries in my chart and so I used to frequently fight with anyone who try to control me. Not as much anymore…since Ive gotten a little older, the opposition is better integrated.

  23. My mom was an Aries, a terrible temper and child like. My husband an aries one of the most courageous men I know. He has never been abusive to me in word or deed. His mars is in virgo and his moon so that might tame him a bit.

  24. Leo men, that is a different story. The experience I have with them is always so charming at first. I think they start to feel inferior somehow and the abuse starts.

  25. Nooooo, Aries is not abusive. They are courageous and if it is put into the context of War, well then they are the perfect soldier. We honor, Thank and memorialize our Military and I believe rightly so. They fight powerfully with overt enemies sacrificing their own lives for the greater good. Remember, a person doesn’t have to be strong to be mean or abusive. But strength is inherent in Arian energy and it usually manifests in good power and action.
    I’m thinking Abusiveness is a twisted Plutonian thing, after all wasn’t it Pluto (Hades) who kidnapped sweet Persephone and took her to live in hell as his wife!
    And so the story of abusiveness and domestic violence begins.
    Aries Rising

  26. My experience with Aries is that they do see themselves as heroes and are willing to risk their life to save you because it makes them feel good, it’s like them acting on their most instinctual nature. Which I can admire. However, if something doesn’t go as they WANT, they can turn on you and lose ALL their shine and heroism in one sentence. I had an ex with mars in Aries who, after I clearly said I couldn’t give another chance to, did a 180 on me in a split second and called me dirt and said I wasnt going to amount to anything and a lot of other really shitty stuff. I’ve never seen that side of him towards me but once I didn’t do what he wanted, he lost his cool and that mars anger came right at me in the most childish and disrespectful way. I lost any respect I had for him right then and there and walked away forever. No apology afterwards but he continued to attempt to convince me into dating him again without success. I find such lack of control so unattractive. I also had an ex with moon in Aries who, when things didn’t go his way would have a literal mental breakdown. My dad is Aries sun and when I was a child living under his roof and did things he didn’t like or that frustrated him, he’d use abusive words and yell at me. So so much yelling. He didn’t want to understand anything, only yell and be always right. Never apologized. I can respect Aries energy but only from a distance. I’d rather admire their good qualities that way than deal with the misguided and unfocused anger aimed at me. Aries can be a hero and a true soldier, but don’t think that you’re a god and we are all mere mortals obeying your rule and in need of your protection. Pass.
    Mars in capricorn here ?

  27. Well I have Aries Venus. And thank God for that for eitherwise I would be emotionally very shut in, putting up walls and never wanna talk to men, be friends with them or flirt.
    Because I have lots of saturn energy (for ex to my mars and moon and asc etc) in my chart that makes me very scared sometimes to take first steps etc. Thanks to aries venus I can be very warm, happy go lucky and bold and forward and put my cold saturn away when needed! I love having Aries planets!

    Also Venus aries makes one very warm and generous towards friends and gives a great sence of humour

  28. I will say, the thing that scares me about the Aries in my chart is that I am afraid that I am so hell bent sometimes, I imagine I’d die fighting for something. Or kill. If it came down to it, I’d kill a mother fucker before they got over on me. The only explanation I can come up eith is Pluto parallel my mars… 8th house? My mars is in the 8th in the equal house system.

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