Losing Friends During A Pluto Transit Through The 11th House

Pluto statue astrologyTransiting Pluto is now firmly in my twelfth house. It occurred to me, I have hardly any friends left post it’s transit of my eleventh. Pluto is such a slow moving planet it is hard to assimilate or track its effects as it moves through a house in your chart. This is a ten-year transit, give or take; for a moment there I had a glimpse of awareness. I thought I’d mark it for Google purposes. If someone plugs in “Pluto transit the eleventh”, this will come up.

The first wave of friends dropped off when I had a baby. It’s common when you transition from “no kids” to parenthood. All your friends with no children disappear and it’s easy to see why. You become consumed with your baby and your childless friends can just not relate. You are also tired and you are busy and all the things that interested you before seem less important and so a separation occurs.

In my case, my best friend at the time had an abortion right as I was having a baby and she just didn’t want to be around me after that. We had taken these different paths and she just didn’t want to see me with my baby.

Time passed and more friends fell but I simultaneously made new friends, and the new friends were powerful across the board in one way or the other and healing to me. I forged what I thought was going to be lifelong friendships as I am prone to have but in this last year as Pluto wrapped up in my eleventh house I watched in horror as one friend after another took an off ramp.

Even in the midst of this, I could see how I would benefit. I could be losing friends left and right… suffering epic betrayals and still see how things would come out okay in the end. This is just my personality.

Some of these relationships were decades old so it was like being betrayed by one of your organs or something. Whoops! There goes a kidney, but what are you going to do? If your kidney goes south, it goes south. It has got to be removed from the body or else so you really learn to let go, at least I did.

Eventually I threw open all the windows and all the doors so if they could go they could all go together understanding I would not lose anything I could not do without.

Have you ever suffered a wipe out like this? How did you cope?

82 thoughts on “Losing Friends During A Pluto Transit Through The 11th House”

  1. Pluto has been on the cusp of my 11th house for years and is now several degrees into to my 11th house. During the cusp years I let go of my troublesome friendships (most of them long distance) that always felt like a burden. In the end, I didn’t really lose anything, just de-cluttered my life. One friendship was particularly painful to lose. I eventually came to the reality that I had been unhappy with the relationship for years and would use remember the “good old days” to escape acting on it. Luckily I had a growth spurt and filled up all of that free time with making ME happy. I’m starting this transit with almost no friends and with a goal of obtaining a few really great, high quality friends. For those who are taking the the Pluto 11th House wipe out badly,.. being your OWN Best Friend helps out a Lot. I always think of Pluto as the alcohol that has to go on a cut, or it will get infected. It stings a little at first, but you heal faster if you just deal with it.

  2. I am studying my progressed chart and my progressed Pluto is in the 11th house. I am astonished by my progressions, which I have never examined before. They are thoroughly enlightening and explain everything including the consequences of Pluto’s placement. Somehow, instinctively, I have understood, though I have struggled to know what I was doing wrong. Finally, I concluded that, yes, there are areas needing improvement but I am now able to see people for who they are and I let them be. I am very Plutonian (Pluto 1st house conjunct the ascendant natally, I am 64) so understanding the nature of my interactions all my life has been tough and I have always had few friends. Now, every vestige of life as it once was is gone including every relationship. Painful. But as a writer, I strive to translate it into my work – a series of historical fiction novels.

    Thank you for aiding my understanding.

  3. My sweet Grand Scorpio moon is going to go through this when she is in high school. I see it coming like a freight train and it breaks my heart to know she will go through this when she is going to want friends so badly. I cant stand this for her. Please let me be alive so I can help her through it. I’m worried about it for her. 🙁 She will be 15 years old. I just hate this for her….I really do.

    1. Pluto transited my 11th house in high school. By my junior year in high school, i literally had no friends. I would follow this one girl and her friend to her house for lunch, but it was obvious they didnt want me there. It was really pitiful. But i learned how to be alone, which prepared me for 12th house transit.

      1. I didn’t see this for some reason back in 2017 Libra Noir! Thank you for sharing. I feel bad for her. She is in a rough school and is having trouble, but hanging in there. She has two friends right now and she is trying so hard to have fun. This is going to be a painful transit for her because all she wants in the world is to have a pal… makes me sick watching it. I too learned how to be alone but not from a transit to the 11th. Knowing someone you love is going to feel isolated and do a lot of crying is like being stabbed in the heart. Wish it were me going through it for her. I got Pluto’s number. I can take it!

  4. Uranus is still ploughin through my 11th n I seem to be losing patience for some of my friends’ foibles that have always been there but the actual ending of friendships one way or another has stopped for now. A different vibe to the Pluto 11th one of course which I think I will miss this lifetime!!!

  5. Yes, I completely resonate with the loss of friends, although in my case it has been through death. My father died at the exact time Pluto moved into my 11th… he was one of my my best friends in this life. Apart from him, 11 others have died so far (in less than 5 years).
    Now Saturn is moving into the 11th, too. that will be interesting!

  6. Lost a friend to emphysema when Chiron went to 11th this year but did not find out for 4 months- she was my friend for 40 years on facebook latterly n when she announced her computer had died it took me a long time to realise she had not returned. Her close relative did not pass the news on as he has a syndrome.

    1. Thanks for that Anju.
      It is comforting when astrology explains the reasons for the heavy changes. My problem is trying not to anticipate horrible things when I see a difficult transit approach. Chiron in 11th seems to be doing an efficient job of ending friendships like Pluto does. But should we not meet Plutonian flavour or Chiron flavour friends at this time too? Not having a partner, I could do with that!!’

  7. Have Pluto transiting my 11th house in Capricorn for 7 years now. Still 4 years to go. All my friends have fallen away, the community I was in the teacher I followed, All “friends” from school etc. All gone. It All happened when I got in an accident and hit my head. Was bedridden for 1 year and tot his day have chronic pain, which limits my energy to be with people. But that one year wiped the slate clean. Everyone that wasn’t there truly, that didn’t step up to the plate, just fell off. It all just became so clear that if a person is not there for you when you are really really really in the dumps, then then it’s a waste of ones time to have them in your life. It sounds brutal, but it’s true. I’ve never had many friends to begin with, and found it tiring to always give so much emotionally and get nothing in return (8th house Pluto and moon in scorpio natally), and somehow I finally started respecting myself when Pluto came in and tore all seeming friendships apart. It’s been in a very silent way though. I just couldn’t communicate when I was sick with a concussion and time just webt on and now it’s been 4 years and I’m ok, no particular need to pick up contact againm it’s a æeculiar feeling. When I sit and think about the fact that I don’t have anyyyy friends (besides my family and partner which is more than enough ;)), then it seems quite strange that I somehow can’t force a feeling of wanting to connect with others again. As someone commented above, if the people I encounter now are not “on a path” meaning not just going through the motions of life but are actually stopping up and asking the question “why am I here, why do I feel the way I do, why do we all suffer” then there’s no point in striking up a friendship other than an hour of entertainment. 11th house Pluto… It’s brutal in the way it cuts and dissects your friends away, in the way it examines your dreams and aspirations, I’ve really had some painful moments of illusions dropping off, about people, near ones, my dreams about life, my goals, but it’s clear that it’s for the better now. The first years of this transit were really tough, now it all beings to make sense. Thank you for sharing. It helps knowing that others come to the same insights once the Pluto cloud lifts and that good things await. Cheers Elsa !!

  8. I disagree! My Pluto transit through 11th house has come to its end. I have very short house 11th, so this transit have lasted for almost 10 years. Before It had started I had few friends. Two girls from primary school, one from my studies and one from my university and I was 22 at that point.
    This time have been magical for me. I met many valuable people, many of them’ve become my friends. I’ve started my new passion which I was dreaming about for my whole life. I’ve started to live and seize the day. As I said this time comes to its end. Pluto is 2 degrees from my 12th house cusp and I can see changes everywhere – in every little part of my life and I have to face it. I don’t know what it brings about, I don’t feel ready, but let it be.

    Natal Pluto sits in my 8th house in Scorpio and trine my Moon in 11th house.
    Sorry for my clumsy English, I’m not a native.

    Regards for everyone. Don’t be scared. Pluto in 11th can be also a chance.

    1. Thank you for this, Paulina! All the heavy stuff I’ve been reading about Pluto transiting this house has definitely been a buzzkill. I’m looking forward to / hoping for / making room for the kinds of experiences you refer to. In the meantime, I hope you’ve been getting on well with Pluto transiting your 12th!

  9. Yes you are absolutely right. I have returned to my home town during this transit but I have realised that I don’t have any friends left!!!! and I don’t want them..I want to start a new life which is about work work and more work…and groups …..

  10. Searching 11th house Pluto transit and this is the only website that came up with some semblance of nuance and context, not formulaic stuff! It is a big thing I have to work out I feel, I am trying to figure out what to do next with things considering my emotional makeup partly directly in relation to the 11th house.

    So what I am saying is the Google term worked! Although I found this on DuckDuckGo.

  11. Hello I am from Brazil and I started reading the comments in 2021 I read comments from 2006 when I was 14 years old. I have pluto in house 11 definitely and I can say it is beaten after beatings mainly in the first phase of life. I would say that after suffering some humiliations and betrayals I understood that somehow the pluto comes to clean but this is what everyone says: a strong, painful and rejuvenating cleansing I believe that the marks left will never be forgotten if the lesson is well learned to lesson in my view in this case would be: be self-sufficient. Do not depend on others and do not follow the herd the great human cattle that walks towards the slaughterhouse after all we are naturally different so maybe there is a difficulty in communicating and connecting with others.
    I do not speak English and I am using the google translator and it works very well, I recommend that this is what you do:
    have a human translator but do not depend only on him but have another alternative to translate such text not depending on anyone after all the power is not in others but in reality the reality is that nobody knows why they have this pluto and probably will not know in life , maybe god will tell us after death if it exists i just know that we should not trust blindly or even in our shadow and just put our hand on fire for ourselves.

  12. When Saturn entered my 11th started to square my moon in Taurus 1st house and Venus+Uranus Scorpio 7th house. Pluto was ( and still is) transiting över my 10th squaring my Aries ascendant. It was when the pandemic started. I’ve found myself completely isolated and after that also abused by a sadistic selfish partner I’ve been trapped in a house with. I’ve been also injured by him but instead of sending him to prison they spared him because he’s rich -and I won’t say more than this-. Solitude, abuse and injustices on a daily basis, this is what I received and I’m still receiving. He also sued me to evict me from our house and against all odds he won. Now Saturn will enter my 12th together with Jupiter, Pluto will enter aquarius but still remains in my 10th and Pluto will start squaring my moon and Venus+Uranus exactly how Saturn did. A Saturn in aquarius is a cynical monster but Pluto in Capricorn had been too. So I wonder a destructive Pluto in cynical Aquarius transiting my 11th what would do to my moon and Venus after all the pain I suffered these years non stop. I’m isolated already because of the Saturn transiting över my 11th. Now what?

  13. I googled “Pluto in 11th house” since that’s where it is headed for me.. funny, I often get the effects of transits in the time when they are a couple of degrees away from the cusp they’re headed towards.. always those last 2 degrees!! So, while I have been complaining to my spouse about how a couple of really important social groups I belonged to, fell apart completely, and how a few friendships turned so toxic I had to cut them loose entirely (and cause hard feelings which I tried NOT to do./.) .. all the while it has been PLUTO cleaning up my social life for me (I guess..)I am quite lonely right now but also..after a rather challenging 2020-2023 time (family illness,etc..)But some days I find I am almost tickled to be alone with my own thoughts and my new dreams.. I have a lot of time to explore my own head and spirit right now… I have gotten some energy back in 2023 to focus on MY goals..and have a new path of writing opening up to me.. and a whole lotta time alone seems to be what my soul actually craves right now. My 2 good friends that I play cards with and have known forever, are much older than me, in their 80’s and this past 10 years, their decline is palpable and does affect what we can do together. .I will probably lose them both soon. I’ll be exploring and studying more of how to use this transit to the good. I was floundering around for a while, trying to find new social groups (an art group, a writing group) to no avail.. I am becoming a bit cynical about humans,so un natural for me.. but the last couple of years have changed me a bit… I am getting the message loud and clear: BE ALONE FOR A TIME, MADELINE,So, ok.

      1. hi.I read your comment. What was your school time like? bad too? I have Pluto in the 11th. And I tell you: I’m very young but I’ve already felt the impact.

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