So here is my other love tip from Taurus, this one I got off, Vidroid.
Vid’s best friend is an Aquarian boy who dumps him every 8-10 days. The boys were in the same class and spent the afternoon and early evenings at one house or the other at least 5 times a week but then every once in awhile, Vid would go to school and find his friend no longer interested.
The rejection would be hard and fast and always, always unexpected. The kid would tell him, “I don’t like you anymore,” and then turn and take off to ignore him and play with other kids. Vid would be devastated. This happened 3 or 4 times. Each time the ignoring would go on for 3 or 4 days and Mom started to get pissed off.
Fourth time this happened we were walking home from the bus stop, Vid had his head down and I told him, “Look. You know he’s going to be back. This is what he does, he always comes back but if you are getting sick of this you can always dump him and I wouldn’t blame you if you did. You’ll find another friend. Matter of fact you’d be able to replace him a lot easier than he is going to be able to replace you because most people would not put up with this…”
Well he was sick of it but he made it clear that painful as it was, he was going to remain loyal and wait on his friend and respecting his decision, I tried to lighten the mood.
“Well, I wouldn’t take it too hard. He’s an Aquarian, you know. They are often quirky and he’s like that,” I said shrugging.
“Yeah,” said Vidroid. “He’s just a quirky Aquarian…”
Now as it happens the quirky Aquarian has Moon Saturn conjunct in Aries. That’s no fun so I have some sympathy for this kid. He is bound to be acting something out. Rejecting Vid, as he has been rejected himself for example.
Further, Vid has his Jupiter and Mercury conjunct that Moon Saturn, so you know Vid cheers him up so what the hell? Quit dumping your best friend, ya freak! But here’s the point:
Vid has stuck by his friend and the quirky Aquarian has become less quirky over time. He still does what he does but not as frequently. The friendship is very strong at this point, they have seen each other almost daily since school got out for 6-8 hours at a clip and I got to thinking something.
A lot of people don’t give their friends or lovers time like this, do they? Time to figure it out that is.
I suspect Vid and quirky Aquarian may wind up friends for life but this never would have happened had he not made the decision to stand by and give him time to grow. And I have learned a lot watching this. So many people throw people back at the first sign of trouble and it’s pretty obvious what that’ll get you.
On the flip, so many problems wind up solving themselves if only you’ll let them.
Are you patient with your friends and lovers?
Now, Cassi, I notice that about you. 🙂
This is the thing with you people who have been around a long time (Cassi has been around 5 years +). Your personalities become apparent and I like this with my bar model.
If you saw that movie, at one point someone is having sex upstairs. The chandelier is shaking and everyone knows what is going on. They all know each other, see. I like it!!
I lked this post very much Elsa.
kingsley
I like it too. I have Scorpio so I can amputate but that has very rarely happened. I would have to say I give lots of rope and when it’s run out it’s really really gone.
I love this community here in Elsa’s bar/blog.
I used to amputate clean and fast. Others amputated me as well. I find it easier but then as I came into my wisdom years I thought better of it.
This last re with “bobo” is strange. I royaly screwed it up by kicking him out of the house with his stuff on the porch for an affair that he never had. Seriously he really was working and just does not like the phone.
He still wanted to be around and I found that very odd but I went with it because of his powerful Scorpio sex appeal.
It has been a painful back and forth process and we really never have gotton back to what we were. I don’t think we ever will.
But, I have learned to let the river flow and see where it takes me. I have a feeling it will take me beyond him but you never know.
So I am defenitely letting this one play out. It has been a year. What keeps me interested now is that he is being very vocal about his internal changes and he started reading tarot card which I think is really cool!
Yes devoted, loyal and patient. Once I was reading about my Medicine wheel sign, the Bear. It said that I would put up with a lot, and patiently advise people if they were stepping over the line or pissing in my territory, but if they continued their behaviour, well I would remind them quite aggressively that I am a Bear and chase them off my mountain.
I’m probably similar to the Aquarian kid, except that I just disappear on people. An astrologer once explained it to me (this was before I knew ya, Elsa), how this was a pattern in my life…I think my south node was involved (or north? I dunno)…I don’t recall, and the transcript I made of the reading is packed away somewhere. In either case, when I do my disappearing act, it’s not always related to the other person, per se. But, then again, sometimes it is. When I do “give up” on someone, it’s usually after yrs (many…often decades) of “abuse”, and I just can’t take it anymore. I’ve been trying to be more upfront w/people when I do want to split, but it’s difficult.
I am very patient (Taurus Sun)…also very rash (Aries Mars opposed Pluto) so I try to balance it and sometimes I can. Depends on how motivated I am.
I lost my oldest friend in January (we’d been friends for about 18 years). I finally told her how I felt about certain things and she insisted I was ending the friendship.
I responded by telling her ‘Actually, I’m not ending our friendship, I want to deepen our friendship with more honesty.’
She replied ‘I can’t believe your ending the friendship, I had no idea you could be so ruthless.’
I thought long and hard about that. What to do?
I finally wrote: ‘I’d like to work this out. As an aside, I ruthless. I’ll get rid of anything that no longer helps me but damages me.’
She has since stopped speaking to me and writing to me, insisting I ended the friendship. A couple of things: (a) I really needed to tell her I WAS ruthless.
The basis of our disagreement was on her refusal to recognize me for who I really am [you are this; you are that, etc].
Pluto had recently crossed my Sagittarius ASC and I felt like I had to take the bullet.
The other (b) thing is that while we both have Capricorn…I really feel like she had a strong desire to control me. To the point that I had to shrug when she went on and on about me ‘ending’ it and I was going on and on about ‘honesty.’
Totally, completely hopeless.
I guess it depends with me. There are some friends who I’ve had for 15+ years, which is a long time considering I’m 26 and was a military child. I have one particular long-time friend who has hurt me a couple of times, but she’s like family to me and I’ll probably always come back to her. Other than that, I have many long-time friends whom have not hurt me and vice versa. I am very, very fortunate in the friends department. As a matter of fact my husband and I threw a 30th birthday party for one of our close friends, and in our packed house we quitely stepped back and whispered to eachother “We have great friends”. Some of them are friends I’ve had since the beginning of high school, some are friends that I made when I met my husband, who took me in right away. I give a lot of rope to those close to me, fortunately it’s rare when I need to give that rope. With my Scorpio ASC though, I have apmutated a few friends in the past, but it was one of those things where I had to cut my losses. Now I’ve learned to just chose more wisely.
I’m also a fire sign with moon in an earth sign. And my venus is in the 11th house too.
Kashmiri you’re back!
I think I always offered a long rope, for the most part, but just recently it has become a REAL rope. you know, as opposed to a martyrry, long-suffering, pretend rope. yikes. I have also amended the list of people I call friends in order to make that possible.
I have Sun in Aquarius and Moon in Taurus. When I was reading this I thought this is what’s been happening inside me. See, it takes time to “reconcile” or “compromise” or whatever you want to call it. At its raw stage it really hurts but then you gradually learn how to handle it. Still hurts sometimes, though. But my heart mumbles “damn Aquarian” and continues to beat.
I have a Cappy Moon and Venus Saturn conjunct. I always thought all that Saturn energy gave my friendship endurance, so I blame that kid’s behavior on his Aqua. But I can be quite distant too, and highly selective of whom I let get near me. So it’s not a kind of friendship pattern that works for a lot of people, but the few close friends I’ve had I keep forever. Even if we lose touch for long stretches we reconnect periodically.
yay! I’m back! LOL. thanks for noticing shell…I felt like I entered a vortex for the last month, and
I’ve missed you guys! (Tho a break from internet is always good for someone with a Uranus/Saturn/Mercury T-square).
I’m pretty loyal, though the last couple of years I’ve been a bit overwhelmed so I haven’t taken the initiative to nurture relationships that were too much work. But if they surface, I’ll be glad to support.
I tend to give a longer rope the longer I’ve known someone and they’ve built up good credit with me. But I don’t like being rejected, so if that happens frequently then things change. There is only so much rope to give
I have known many couples who have taken years to get to the last few inches of their “rope”. They seem to spend even longer at those last few inches of the rope. Perhaps ther are re-classifying the numerical system of measurement in order to stay together. There certainly does seem to be miles left in those last few threads for them?
I guess that “hope” is a wonderful thing, that the other person will eventually supply you with all those warm and fuzzy things within ones idea of relationship. I hope that Vidroid expressed his anger about his friend behaving like that?
kingsley
I just noticed I attract assholes. Pisces, go figure. I’m getting less and less patient with people who want to dump their crap all over me but generally, I am steadfastly loyal and devoted through thick and thin. Until the ultimate disappointment, of course.
I have a long rope for friends that I’ve known the longest, and for those that show the most initiative when they might have hurt me or actually want to see me happy. In return I expect the same. If it can’t “be” then I can’t “be”. If I can’t “be” when I’m around you then how the hell are you going to be my friend?
I don’t have many friends, I guess not that many pass the bar. But I try to be understanding and realize that not everyone has the same high standards that I have.
I have a new set of friends since I split with my ex, but I still have friends from elementary school. It feels good.
I hung on with my ex almost 17 years, that’s pretty long, wouldn’t you say? (ha! maybe too long…) Oh well, I’m trying not to regret it. I don’t regret my kids, and I wouldn’t have wanted to leave when they were any younger.
Sun Scorpio/Moon Taurus/Asc. Pisces
Ha, I’ve had a “quirky Aquarian” best boy friend for going on 30 years. I’m a Virgo; he’s a few years younger. While we were in college I decided for some rather murkey reasons that we just had to be (close) friends. (We were both new in San Francisco and didn’t have many connections at that point). We had some common interests, to say the least.
I just want to say is that it was indeed a rough road to becoming life-long friends. Sometimes it was he who persisted. Sometimes it was me. One thing I should say in this regard is that my friends are largely compartmentalized; most of them don’t care for one another much. I think that tells me about me, something.
“I hope that Vidroid expressed his anger about his friend behaving like that?”
Kingsley, that is a good point and he definitely does.Typically the boy contacts, Vid, tells him he misses him, apologizes profusely. Vid tells him he is a shit, the boy agrees and then they go off (very) happy for 10-14 days at this point. Anyway, there is more info coming…
I’m an Aquarian…and I think I am very patient with people. I don’t really think there’s anyone (just a few people here and there) that I have ever given up on.
Now as for me, I am not too sure how difficult it is to have a friendship with me, but I tend to disappear from people sometimes. It’s not really usually anything about them, per se, but just sometimes it is something I have to do. I think that by now, most of my friends don’t take it personally (particularly the ones I’ve known for years!)
depends on how much i have invested and exactly how (and how badly) they hurt me.
Yes and no… I probably avoid having to be patient by being detached.
Really appreciate you re-posting this one – what a great perspective on loyalty and patience.
This one is very powerful for me on a number of levels. First, as a Sun/Venus conjunct in Aries I don’t have a lot of patience. I also have Mars in Gemini in the 7th house. Yup, Quick Draw McGraw once I decide it’s over. Then Moon/Uranus conjunction in Leo, and Saturn oppose Mars. No problem wiping my feet and leaving, if it’s MY idea, or if my feelings get really hurt (that Uranus/moon is square Neptune so I am super sensitive). but Saturn also trines the sun and venus so I DON’T have to function that way. It’s just scary to hang in there with people when they are not submitting to my every whim (smile). Now, my delicious sweetie, Tiramisu, is a Taurus with mercury and venus conjunct his sun and his south node. I don’t know his birth time but I suspect it is around 8:00 pm because that chart fits his life so well. If that is his birthtime, all of those planets are on his descendent. And in any case they are on my South node (we are about a month apart). He was my boyfriend when we were in the third grade.
He is slow and careful. I am neither. We are clear on our feelings for each other but the logistics of everything are a little antsy. We are of differing faiths, and he is the pastor of a church he founded. He’s been married and divorced twice and wants guarantees that his next marriage will not fail (both of his wives divorced him). His view is that a relationship between us is “unrealistic” but both of us have to exert self control not to call and text several times each day. And when we do, to keep it light and not wander over into endearments and intensity. We’ve recently begun Skyping and seeing each other (we live on opposite ends of the country) is both fabulous and frustrating.
By the summer I will be closer geographically, and we will see what happens then, but not chucking it all before then takes a level of patience I did not know that I had! I’m having difficulty waiting until Christmas break, when I will be traveling to visit my parents. He’s so on again hot and heavy, and then off again and disappears for a few days. He doesn’t want to “play with my emotions”, but flirts (respectfully) in each conversation. I could go on an on (and have for too long) but I will stop here. Thanks for posting this. I decided a long time ago that even if I can’t take Tiramisu home with me, then we can at least stay friends, and if I go up in flames and fire him that won’t happen.
I tend to give my friends very long ropes…ropes that go on forever sometimes…I too have an Aquarian friend whom I love. We have been friends for almost 20 years and so many times during our friendship, she has moved away emotionally, but always comes back. I have been hurt by this many times and never understood what had happened and several times I have tried to talk to her about it, but she acts completely oblivious to the fact that she has withdrawn or dumped me for a while.
But on the whole, most or almost all of my friends are my childhood friends….I take on people for lifetimes. I still see my childhood friends several times a year even though we live in different parts of the world and communicate on a weekly basis.
This was great to read this blog this morning because my Aquarian friend is being remote again and it has bothered me more than usual this time…..maybe because I am feeling more vulnerable right now.
I am at core Libra so: it depends. 🙂
I have strong Aquarius, so I can (and do) come and go.
I have strong Scorpio, so I can (and do) amputate.
But I also have Saturn in Cap, and Moon in Cancer, so I can also do “forever”.
It all depends — whatever is appropriate to the situation (in ~my~ estimation, which of course may be different from that of any other parties involved).
That all being said… back to the question:
“Are you patient with your friends and lovers?”
In the past, I have been TOO patient, way way too patient. My pendulum then swung to the other extreme, and I got to ZERO tolerance — self-admittedly not a good thing. I’m still working on settling in a healthy middle zone (Libra: balance, fairness).
This is a lesson that is SO SO SO important to remember, especially with children. Nobody’s perfect, and neither am I. It’s time to give myself a bit more rope.
I give people plenty rope. Unfortunately, it’s sometimes taken for granted. I also tell people they acted like a shit when they come back (like Vid does) when the situation call for it, but if it gets that far most people are too cowardly to even admit they did anything wrong. That’s the point where I detach–and then they take issue with my detachment! Oh, right, you wanted me to play *your* game…
My philosophy–be generous with rope, as long as it won’t be in vain. And every so often, it isn’t too much to ask for results; otherwise, it is a waste that someone else could use to better effect.
Opal–nice idea, giving yourself rope…
WOW.you just discribed what my childhood friend said abou me….
i have sun cusp with capricorn/aquarius and mercury mars aquarius .
i also have/had three aquarius ffriends female friennds aand they have been as abrupt towards me as i to to some of my boyfriends and friends .
i frequently dumped boyfriends and friends suddenly .
but sometimes it’s due to insecurity on my part rather than just lack of interest.
As an Aquarian, I can be very Taurus-like with my friendships. If I like you, I’ll stay. I can be inconsistent at times but I’ll remain friends.. I just like some breathing room 😉
I have a Taurus 11th house (but no earth placements other than my Taurus Chiron) and Saturn trines my ASC and MC which probably helps!
This is an interesting post in itself, but also considering the current state of affairs transit-wise. Would uranus in a strongly Taurean make him/her somewhat a bit of an Aquarian? I’m inclined to say so. I’m as Taurus as it gets and I’ll give a long rope, until one day you look and I’m simply just not there. Either amputated (lots of scorpio) or simply let go (jupiter in aqua). Whether you’ll be back in my life,remains to be seen. I don’t exclude that tho. Sometimes it was all just overwhelm and misunderstanding?