I’ve had a mighty struggle over the last year or so. It’s been so protracted, I’d be stupid not to ask myself what my big problem is. Why do I hang on?
I think it’s because I’ve got Jupiter strong in my chart. It’s very hard for me to give up hope. I feel jealous of people who can assess a situation, see it’s a waste of time and drop it like a hot potato.
I don’t necessarily think that people like that are smarter than I am or that they are right all the time. It’s just that right now, I’m sitting here with my empty bag and wondering if I ought to edit myself in some way. Is it possible for me not to repeat something like this in the future?
“They’re not going to change,” my husband explained last night. “They’ve been that way since the 1700’s; they’re not going to change one iota…”
If he’s right and I believe he is, I have spent a tremendous amount of energy on what was a lost cause from the get go. Worse, even after I’m told what is real and can pretty much accept it as real, I’m still standing here like the kid in “Eight Men Out”.
I have no idea what to do from today, going forward. I thought I’d post this and see if anyone recognizes themselves in any of this.
Do you?
Oh yeah, I am also like this. If I feel led to do something I have to do it no matter the odds. Of course, I don’t know your investment but I still don’t think you were wrong for trying. Also, I’m not really bothered so much if I embarrass myself if I feel very strongly that I am supposed to do the thing. I also might not be the best person to ask! 🙂
Thanks.
I guess I’m not embarrassed either. But struggling with cutting a rope and drifting away from an entire boatload of people I’ve been tethered to.
But I just don’t belong. 🙁
I see. I don’t feel like it is decided yet.
In anyone’s heart that is. Like people are not sure which lane they should be in.
Yeah. All these Rx planets.
I would like to stop the pain but can’t see a way to do that. But what I may be able to do is not inflict any pain and potentially protect myself but like… keeping my eyes open, lol. 🙂
We put certain ingredients together and expect to end up with a cake. Stupid thing doesn’t always materialize though, and hardly ever as grand as expected. I think more often than not, there are forces at work that have nothing to do with you that affect the outcome.
It’s kind of you to give people the benefit of the doubt. Don’t feel bad when they don’t meet your expectations. Just be your kind self. A lost cause will be still be a lost cause and thank God you don’t belong!
Thank you, Tess. I’m attached to some of the people in the drifting away boat.
I guess this is Saturn (and Pluto)transiting my 12th house. The bonds disappear. And I understand I need to exit, because I am not designed to drift in a circle.. right down the drain. Sad but true.
I guess I am coming to terms with the fact I need to paddle… quickly?
We have similar charts, Elsa. My 9H Jupiter/Neptune conjunction in Scorpio trines my Aquarius ASC and quincunxs my 4H Gemini Mars. I’ll try every possible approach for a solution to my liking. Doesn’t always work. I, too, have lost touch with many friends this past year as Tr Saturn has ingressed Capricorn in my 11H.
Perhaps trying to express and live out ♂ indirectly? Try 1st house activities instead, or activities of your 1st house ruler. Or anything suggested by whatever house has ♂ on the cusp. i.e. you’re diverting away from the 9th. The same with transits to the 9th – use the planet and house activities to use the ♂ energy where you’d prefer instead of getting caught up with others via the 9th.
And using any planet that’s aspected to Jupiter.
When you have a ‘helper’ personality and a strong ‘soul’ connection with people, ie youve known them a long time, you have integrated them somehow into your life – it is hard to just ‘leave’ and not feel you’ve given up on some level. But nothing is worse than staying where you know you don’t belong out of some misguided ‘loyalty,’ or failure to ‘give up,’ thinking one can make a peach turn into an apple if one day it can change… it won’t .. no shame in that recognition. We can be too loyal for our own good (cap) (scorp), and too idealistic (aquarious/sag)??? Cut the strings!
Your husband is right–you can’t change human nature, and human nature is partially genetic. Find a different windmill to work on…
Neptune and Jupiter in the 8th cause me to give others too many chances to come clean or atone for their bad behaviour. That’s helpful up to a point, which I go beyond of course. Maybe a Sag Moon makes me too philosophical about the situation!