Mercury is currently squaring Pluto. I was running through the day’s happenings, last night. I’d posted about an old obsession I had for a number of years. I don’t think about this much. The information trickled up from the deep murkiness.
I thought about my internal narrative on this situation which has been in place for many years. You know how you settle something in your mind? This has been settled for years; put to bed as they say. So why did it surface then?
A huge, shadowy insight popped into my head. I can’t say, the new narrative replaced the old but it showed me, very clearly, there are layers in these stories. There are possible drivers of events we factor out, not necessarily because they’re icky, but maybe because the miraculous Neptune version, beckons and what the hell? It looks like, “light”.
I’m more aware now than ever before, how my psyche works. Since I’m human and so are you, I suspect you’ve got your own mechanisms.
It’s complicated, because the new potential framing of events can be true and still not alter other truths. But I have to run the script in my head to find out.
Bottom line, this post is about the deep layers in all of our psyches. It’s impossible to be bored.
Have you ever just been walking along; gotten a call to have a second look at something?
“there are layers in these stories”
Yes! And the payoff is the new insights and realizations of change as well as challenges.
It occurred to me, if I had this one thing configured wrong, it would impact many other follow on narratives. In that moment, the thought crossed my mind, better no tug on the thread!
But then I decided not to be a baby. What may I be missing here? I turned into it.
Yea! I am prepping new artwork for a Farmers’ Market happening this Sunday. A full circle back to a place where we pushed our he envelope to make a safe place to survive. We left on shaky terms.
But, we are still alive. The insight though came as I was cutting and gluing pieces into a different way of collage. When I was first learning how to live with an incurable illness, an old friend living with Parkinson’s took us in. A Gemini artist.
No longer able to paint she was cutting up old photographs and flying them to create images. We left that situation with a strained friendship.
15 years later, I’m refluxing and relayering. A kind of amending for human making is complicated.
I may be an ungenerous crapbag. As saturn transits my 2nd. There are guys who regularly panhandle on a street. I get targeted, students do not, middle aged looking people do. I spoke to a fair amount of homeless people and local government officials and locals and got mixed reviews on whether they do have somewhere to sleep and are using it to profit or are addicted. I’m not in a place where I can easily give especially if someone will do drugs with it. I had an argument with two guys, one who said that I’m being controlling if I expect the money I give to be used in a certain way and sometimes the drugs keep you warm at night. They said if the person is asking for help they must need it. And I am being controlling. But I want the things I give to have a positive impact or not worth it maybe.
I said that I like to help those that can be helped, and tend to avoid trying to help people with personality disorders that erase empathy like sociopathy, NPD and BPD because they’re incapable of love. The guys say I was being simplistic in brushing people on those spectrums with a broad brush and they wouldn’t avoid them, and that people with BPD are capable of love. I think it’s worth it for me to not display such suspect black and white thinking, but my ability to help people is impaired and I want to make a good impact without being pulled into the mire of someone’s manipulative actions. The guys were arguing , it seems, that I’m being unsubtle and relegating people with personality disorders to the trash heap to protect myself from being overextended. But i think being overextended is real and boundaries are important.
STFU about people w BPD and you won’t be a crapbag!
They seriously sound like AI ..not real person saying all that idk but what
does it have to do with Elsa post Lmao
I just published a story and thought of this man, a reader, who would really like it. Unfortunately, he died a few years back. Still miss you, Charlie.