I’m fortunate to work with a good number of psychotherapists. In all these years, I’ve never asked any of them why they choose to hire me. I assume they feel I have something unique to offer them. I’m writing this, with these clients in mind, which means in part, this might not be everyone’s cup of tea. Figure, I’m catering to my client base.
I’m glad I wrote this post: Developing Psychological Immunity. I’ve had a personal breakthrough because of it. It’s time for such things, with Saturn opposing my 8th house. I am going to share my finding, which is self-sacrificing to a degree, but worth it as I’m sure I will learn through this process.
One thing that annoys me to no end, is the broad assumption, that anyone with a background like mine, is going to be super messed up. This irks the hell out of me, because I know it’s not true. I am not at all “super messed up”. This is one of the reasons I like these clients so much. They’ve got the brains or the insight to see me as an individual, rather than to constantly evaluate me and tag me with various imagined diagnosis. Basically, they operate beyond their core education.
This is not just personal to me. People do this to all severely abused people. I’ve said this before, but the KEY, CORE reason I wrote a book. My thinking is evident on every page. I may be freakishly naive, and I may not be like you, but I am clearly holding my own, throughout my life.
My feeling was this might open some minds. People might be less likely to jump to conclusions about an abused person? I don’t know that I succeeded with this endeavor. My point is, I tried, because it bothers me. It’s bigotry, see. You may as say, all black people or all gay people. You’re wrong!
But now, I’m thinking about, “psychological immunity”. Am I the way I am, because I had it? I think this is the case. In other words, I didn’t DO this. If was GIFTED this and I will explain.
First, I had, Henry. I grew up with good and evil so the choice was there and I made it early on. If you take him out of this equation, my story would not be the same. But I’m seeing now, how critical my siblings were. It really didn’t matter if we fought amongst ourselves or whatever. We all saw the circumstances we were in, clearly. I benefited from my older sisters.
As an example, my oldest sister had six years on me. I do note, I credited her in my book. Subconsciously, I knew how important she was. She’s the one who cracked my father’s Aquarian code. Basically, he would induct us into some bullshit, but he did not stick with it for long. “Six months, at most,” she explained. “Usually more like three.”
Can you see how this knowledge would be tremendously helpful? “Knowledge” She’s a double Sagittarius, but by sharing this information, she spared us feeling the various things he put us through, would be endless. She spared us, spiraling into a pit of despair. I am beyond, grateful for this.
At this point, can you see how my sister had developed some immunity? She then turned around and started immunizing the herd!
Now if you take that and recognize, I had no other significant, disempowering force in my life. THIS is how I got out of there, intact. We knew we had an enemy and we studied the bastard. The more we learned, the freer we were. We also knew to isolate ourselves from him; to limit exposure as much as possible.
So fast forward twenty or thirty years… I constantly meet people who project their problems on my and call me, “damaged”. It’s so common, I just shake my head. But I want to take this into the current day…
We have psychopathic enemies! You want to be able to identify them and understand their ways and means and machinations so you can make yourself immune.
Again, this will be much easier, and your immunity will be much stronger, if you can be part of a herd, that can also see what you can see. Nobody is tricked anymore, see? Like the kids in my family. We knew that wasn’t our “daddy”! You might think he was our daddy, but we knew otherwise.
To better understand this, consider how things might have been for me, had my oldest sister, jacked my brain around. “He’s a good dad…” It would have made it infinitely more difficult, if not impossible, for me survive this period of my life.
So now, I am my big sister and I’m trying to clue y’all in. It’s not fun for me, but how can I NOT? I owe this.
I understand some want to live in delusion or kid themselves to varying degrees, but if you want come through this period, intact, I strongly recommend you find a herd. A group of people who don’t punish you for being right or for knowing what you know, especially when it’s right in your face. It’s a “safe space” from gaslighting.
One thing about my family, we all know the truth when we see it. Or hear it. Thank God! It’s clearer to me now, why I’m so bothered and uncomfortable trying to live, interacting with people who deny that which is clearly shown to them. That is not how you survive a situation like this and by God, I’d know. It makes me nervous.
I see this period mirror my childhood, as so many people were enamored with my father. The Juvie Guy story is a perfect example. My sister and I were children, but we could plainly see the fog that surrounded my father, as various women swooned over him. I was calm, with my sister, living in truth. If you stuck me with the deluded women in that story, how would I have fared? I know! It’s called, kill me now!
This is like alcoholism in a way. If you want to be and stay sober, you’ll have a much harder time if you try to hang with people who are invested in whatever delusion is necessary, they can maintain their addiction.
Personally, I enjoy the sane side of the street. It’s another reason to write something like this. I have immunity. I want herd immunity. Sounds Saturn (defense) 8th house stuff to me! So I write this today so people in my camp, can find me.
I don’t play, Stockholm Syndrome, see? I mean, no way, no how.
Here’s the precursor to this post.
And by the way, this is how you deal with Saturn transits to your 8th house.
More here: Psychological Immunity In Real Life
My mother gaslit me and my brother. She would call my father so “STRONG”. I didn’t know then that he would never apologise, nor did I know that filling himself with beer every Friday night at the pub, then coming home and starting what seemed like word war 3, then when sober acting like it was everyone else’s problem, and he was the hard working man – was dysfunctional. He up and died without speaking to me for over a year – this is what I have later learned is a practice amongst Irish ( his grandparents were Irish) I felt guilty for years – this strong hardworking man deemed me unfit to be acknowledged ( I had a party when I was 15 and there was alcohol) no harm done although some one had put a cigarette out on the dirty old rug.
My brother didn’t survive him – all sorts of issues followed – I left to get away as he became very violent. Still over the years my mother never said any thing – like he was a hard hearted bastard. I was so confused about men. Over the years I have learned that they come in all shapes and sizes and I don’t hate men – but I think I subconsciously believe that they do not have much kindness. I have such gratitude for those men who have shown me kindness.
P,
What a present: psychological immunity, the state of being; the stories to exemplify; and the community you have created to read how the inoculation takes place.
Saturn has just moved out of opposition to my 8th house, so perhaps my current breakouts are my body’s messages that day “I will no longer take the bullshit!” My early programming was similar yours. I too had a”Henry” next door (a Capricorn) and she was safe grounds for decades.
I still ended up marrying a charismatic alcoholic (non drinking) but I’ve fallen in love with my illusion of him for decades as I became more and more dependent.
We are old now, and though I am disabled an inner strength is developing and I am creating a tribe of believers in me. I reach for them, they reach for me.
The birthing of an artistic expression that gains traction, late in life is like being my own “Aunty/Henry.” A late in life birth has its challenges, my hips were never broad, and my hormones need Allie’s that aren’t supplemental but living and not manufactured.
It’s a big issue you serve up, Elsa. Not simple to address, but necessary. Thanks!
I was confused by some adults who denied what I clearly saw, heard and knew. I thought they do it deliberately because I’m‘just a child’ or because there’s secrets they don’t want me to know.
I pushed back, stood my ground with anger, arguments and rebellion. I also knew how to get what I wanted and yet, the few people who actually listened and actually said they don’t know more than me but sharing their insight might help, who gave me practical and hands on advice (Capricorn Mercury) was all I needed to continue trusting my own senses and brain.
Im working professionally with people who experienced trauma and the aftermath symptoms, mental, emotional and physical. I say these people have a gift for others. Empathy, resonance and the ability to stay present in challenging situations.
None of them I perceive as damaged but yes, I live in an environment where diagnosis and pills are generally not deemed to be first choice or guarantee for healing. Community is, sharing is. I’ve got people visiting from Europe and they sometimes only see the lack of material wealth and feel pity….all the while missing the point of the richness of community, sharing and just being present for each other.
I also work with those deemed too poor to know what value is, but they do know value and know how to survive. They defend themselves from even themselves. My work is to be the one of the first’responders’ to see them for their humanity not their circumstance; building relationship and then shoring up the mountain of evidence that they have what it takes to live a freer life that is ex-dependent on what they were programmed for… it really comes down to love and faith. I use astrology too answer trying to figure out a way to ‘normalize’ it yet soon will have to make a choice and be psych immune to structural pressures.
#bestalways
This is eye-opening. Plus it really explains so much about your particular mission. I have wondered why your growing up story was so brutal and how you came out so ALIVE. It wasn’t for you to say, “Hey, look how tough I am. Quit your bellyaching! Don’t be a big baby!”
Instead it was this pointing out that you had help, and that that help made all the difference because you took full advantage of it. I believe we all have help, but sometimes we don’t realize what’s going on enough to ask.
I think we can all feel what’s coming. If our intuition and all the astrology is correct, we are headed into some very bad weather, and not just one strong band of weather. So now is the time to look around and say, what is my plan, what are my resources, have I really got my mind right for this thing?
Elsa, thank you for being the big sister in these times. Everything around me seems to be crumbling and delusion is such a hard drug to kick. I am really working on my own psychological immunity. But, it is hard! Saturn transiting my moon and IC is kicking my butt at the moment.
You’re welcome and I agree, it’s very hard. But if you don’t fight it, it’s like submitting to being a puppet, where others pull your strings.
You may have to turn 180 degrees, to get out, as I’ve explained before. Anything is better than being disabled or crippled by a game someone’s running for their profit and worse, they’re amusement.
Yes, I refuse to play their games and be used! This Aries was born to fight. LOL.
This is excellent and spot on. I’ve always been of the mind that those doing the judging or the gaslighting are the insecure ones – healthy, self-actualized, kind, confident people do not tend to be so easily disturbed by differences in behavior or thinking among other people, and often those positive qualities are developed during the difficult times others only see as damaging or traumatic. I appreciate your honesty very much, Elsa.
Thank you, Jamie. I agree with you about the insecurity. Many encourage others away from truth, because they don’t have the courage to face it themselves.
Very much agreed. The past can’t hurt us. What it can do is offer insight or help us grow, or not. I once thought that every thrill I’d ever experienced was the breaking through a previously held fear; this goes for nourishing enrichment, too, and sometimes that is painful. I definitely prefer not to be guided by those that have never even taken their walking shoes out of the box they came in.
Recently I was called a “conspiracy theorists” which ended in the demise of the relationship for opinions I have regarding the last 4 years. Mandates, lockdowns, etc and extreme violations of our constitutional and human rights. Come to find out this man advised me to read a certain publication to get my news which was laughable because it is among the most biased narrative around. I since have determined he lives in a “bubble” very successful, but unaware & didn’t mind criticizing me as if he knows all!!! The worst part is we were in a relationship and when I began to pull away from him, due to feeling increasingly unfairly treated by him nor respected for my thoughts or opinions, he resorted to criticizing me which beforehand he would just freeze up in silence ((narcissist’ technique to control) or say he was confused I even considered such things. Yet, he refused to even discuss the issues at all or hear my opinions. I now realize he is a “covert narcissist” lacking empathy, always right, incapable of others opinions. Some people, especially nowadays, are aligned one way or another. I’ve lost a number of so called friends due to this. Its disheartening.
i am only now coming to terms with certain dynamics in my family. I remember as a child trying to tell my aunt about the strife in my family and the problems I had with my mother. She would immediately cut me off saying : I dont want to hear anything bad about your mother! Enough! Unfortunate she was my half-safe space. She was also the only interested in me as a person, and showed me lots of affection and kindness.
How invalidating and confusing that must have been for a child. Natal saturn-merc did its job I guess. It also kept me sane enough to leave my family and make it on my own.
i think i also develop psychological immunity by being infected a lot earlier than most people? like I went through the ‘trans aceeptance/socialism’ woke craze like decades ago. So now I can see the ugly side, while my peers are in the middle of the grip. Its like watching my younger self.
Oh, Elsa….
as you described “messed up” I laughed and the cartoon flash of GULLIVERS TRAVELS lit me up thining that each time “others” throw mental judgements on you, another rope is thrown over you to the other side where a small person is trying to stake the rope into the ground to hold it. WHY I LAUGH IS THAT OVER THESE YEARS I HAVE SEEN THAT NO ONE HAS THAT POWER OVER YOU AND YOU REALLY KNOW IT. (eg: take the knife story) The most wonderful UNIVERSITY of ELSA’S LIFE has granted you a lifetime achievement award with outstanding HUMANITARIAN SERVICE to all who have eyes to see and an open heart to receive the gifts you are giving so freely. Thank you for honoring us.
I am so grateful you are who you are, and you share openly all of it. The wholeness of your life (ALL OF IT) is the beauty of your soul shining. You have been one of the only ones to allow all of you to come forth and be SEEN.
Thank you for authenticity displayed for all to witness. For me, this blog always pops ILLUMINATION in some valuable form. Gulliver is the one with the power, however; until he stood up, (releasing himself from others constraints) he was trapped. Your “knife” story was just one of many junctures that you demonstrated with your words and actions what it means to honor yourself and your own process.
I am learning the difference between listening and truly hearing. All of us have wondrous contributions as we liberate ourselves from our ropes and stand up. ,
Thank you, this is soooo beautiful. I’m grateful your sister tucked you under her wing. We all need this.