Passionate But Naive In Relationship

Hi Elsa,

I am passionate, and so I love too soon and too deep. I am no saint, but I wear my heart on my sleeve. I just find it hard to believe that there are bad people in the world. I trust and value everyone implicitly, until there are clear facts otherwise. It feels like no matter how often these people come and try and screw me over, I bounce back. I hurt, but then I forgive and I move on – and I want to be their friend, despite it all.

For example, the man I’ve been seeing for the past two months. I found out yesterday that he already has a long-term, long-distance relationship.

The advice from my friends is to change, not my fundamental nature, but enough to protect myself from getting hurt. I don’t want to keep getting hurt either, but I don’t know how to change – or if it’s even what I’d want to. I think it would feel like I was betraying myself.

I don’t know what to do about this. Does astrology hold any clues?

A Romantic

Dear Romantic,

Sound like you have some pretty good friends there. This is in part because of your nature, which sounds similar to my own. Personally, I’ve found it impossible to change. But I do have a perspective on this that might help.

Bottom line, some people can afford to gamble, others less so (or even not at all). Emotionally, I mean. People like you and I with Jupiter (buoyancy) hooked up with their Moon (emotions) are going to have a hard time staying down, no matter what happens. So you see we have some runway here, which is a great fortune. We can afford to be generous emotionally.

So I do what you do. I place my bet, but I never give more than I can afford to lose. And I work to keep my head on straight. By that, I mean that giving to some people is no risk at all. To others, the risk is very high. I find if I maintain this level of awareness, I can absorb losses when they occur.

I could leave this right here, but I liked your question a lot, so I wanted to point something out to you. All that stuff I just said is valid. But you also have Pluto opposite your Sun. This indicates a desire for intense experience, and a tendency to project the shadow. So just put that in your hopper. As it stands right now, you get yourself betrayed and have the ability to recover, but if you make this more conscious… well there are many other things you could do with your energy.

Good luck.

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8 thoughts on “Passionate But Naive In Relationship”

  1. What a great question. My mother used to tell me about my ‘heart on my sleeve’ and cautioned me about being an open book.Like Romantic I have Jupiter and Venus in an 11th House Sag. I bounce back, but, the hurt is deep so there is lots of bleeding. Becoming more conscious of my investments to love not just romantic love but friendships has helped over time. So not naive at near-70. Yet that Jupiter-Venus natal signature is such an important asset to my otherwise serious character. Passion and buoyancy have made life so delightful at key crossroads through the years.

    1. I couldnt agree more. I also have a venus jupiter conjunction in 9th house so know where youre coming from. Yet, it’s in Scorpio opposite Chiron and Pluto has a link to chiron, as does the venus. Pain is so close to pleasure, even if we love with out whole heart…

      1. Right on Anette! ‘pain is so close to pleasure’ … Scorpio for me is conjunct Sun,Chiron, Merucy all square to Mars-Saturn-Pluto. To maintain a conscious application of all this energy has taken years of practice. Capricorn (Saturn) rules my chart. The playful passionate nature from Venus-Jupiter and a Uranus sextile in my 6th gives me the exit strategies that balance me like a spider in her web:)

  2. Pure gold, big thanks, for all of it . . however, a thing that plagues me recently (as I find myself in a similar place lately) is HOW does one find a good outlet for all that pluto energy? It always seems to surface in relationships (no big surprise here I guess, as I have mine square to my 7th house sun)

  3. I’ve proven again and again that I’m naive, too. So much that I’m astonished about myself. I believe that this is Neptune’s influence. To change would mean to get rid of my Neptune and this is impossible for some sound reason. Life is decided by karma, not by free will. To understand and accept this is the only way to reduce suffering.

  4. Personally I had to hit rock bottom on this one. It’s intoxicating to open to everyone also prone to a lot of hubris…..said the Crone

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