Natal Moon As It Relates To Your (Abusive) Mother

moon motherHi, Elsa.

Question about moon representing relationship with mother. I’m not a fan of my mom, there’s abuse etc. history in our relationship. It’s always been challenging and I’ve considered calling it quits many times.

But my sun in the first house is trine my moon in the fifth, suggesting we’re supposed to have a good relationship? My moon is also opposite Mars and Square mercury.

– Gal in Ukraine

Hi, Gal.

I don’t see your sun moon trine as a sign you would get along with your mother. I would think you get along with yourself. I might also think your mom got along with your dad, though I don’t see this situation as often as I once did.

Bottom line, it’s your trine. One way or the other, you’re aware that men and women can get along. You have the ability to feel good about how you live. There’s general harmony in this core area.

Your Mercury Mars clash can be problematic. You probably know I have the conjunction myself. Astrologer, Claire France told me long ago, it tends to see the child be abused.  By the father generally; but in your case, the moon aspect pulls your mother in. However, I would not look at this combination and conclude the mother abused the child because there are many other options.

You could easily be on the abusing end of this, not just against your mother, but against any woman.  The potential is there.  There may be a competition with women, in either direction. A challenge. Jealous rage.  I’m not doubting you in regards to your mother and her behavior, but this aspect is in your chart. It’s your energy and the anger (Mars) in your chart may be directed at your mother (moon), deservedly or otherwise. In this case, deservedly?

To be clear, it would be possible to have these aspect in your chart; and have a great mom, whom you get along with.  You might be sporty for example, or love to verbally spar. It may also manifest in ways having nothing to do with your mother. You may find you feel good (moon), when you speed (Mars) walk (Mercury) or otherwise exert yourself.

On one level, the Mars Mercury mash up represents your point of view.   The other person may see things differently. It’s possible  your sun moon trine allows you to live comfortably, and the part of you that is agitated is put off on your mother.  Like if it wasn’t for her, everything would be great!

Now this is interesting… I am concerned you will be angry at me, reading this. I am a woman (moon) writing (Mercury); the anger would be Mars.   So this energy is playing independent of your mother.

I can tell you this with confidence: with a moon, Mercury, Mars T-square, you are going to get into skirmishes with people.  Your mom is the devil you know.  Your relationship with her may actually serve to contain this harsh energy, allowing you to live happily, in other realms, most of the time.

Good luck.

12 thoughts on “Natal Moon As It Relates To Your (Abusive) Mother”

  1. I live in a similiar reality. Natal Moon,(in Cancer in the 8th house), Oppose, Natal Mercury,
    (Capricorn, in 2nd House), square natal Mars, & natal Neptune,(in libra in the 10th). Being
    an Aquarius, and an astrologer, there is no sugar coating the truth. Growing up with a Moon,
    Mother, (who happens to be a Scorpio), who could not accept the little girl who was, Happy,
    smart and different. Moon was also abusive. Studying, Astrology, Psychology, helped me
    to understand the Dynamics of Individual wounding, and how that will interfere with our
    life. I have grown through all that, forgave my Mom and am a Loving Moon to my 3 Daughters and their lives. I hope that helps.

  2. I have found Mercury/Mars combinations to have an underlying anger and frustration, simmering, , that affects so many of their relationships,from a very young age. It’s hard to say, but what did the Mars/Mercury person bring to the mother/daughter relationship? Of course the anger could come FROM the disturbed relationship//abuse. Or,maybe the child with this aspect was mouthy and has a way of communicating that frustrates or even hurts the mother. (And maybe other women) Sometimes a Mercury/Mars and also with Moon involved,doesn’t hear themselves when they are so harsh.. and wonders why others interpret them words the way they do.. when that’s your mother, of course, trouble ahead!! We expect our parents to love us unconditionally.If we lose a friend , or hurt them irreparably, over these ways of communicating, you can always find new ones, but with a parent, different….. it is only as I am much older that I look at parent/child relationships with more compassion and understanding.. of course abuse is never ok; you wonder why some kinds of sensitive (maybe watery) parents have kids born to them with the edgy aspects.. I suppose it is karma, if you believe in that. Moon Sun trine seems to suggest an individual who will be ok with this,probably find her tribe of people that can handle it, and heal from the abuse, whether it was mental or physical.Healing is always possible (my opinion!)

  3. I might be off here, but I have found that aquarian moon women have difficulty mothering. My Mom an Aries sun , my sister an Aquarian sun, my friend a cancer sun. So many struggle with the outcome of their parenting . My mom was very abusive but then she had 7 children by the age of 30. She only wanted 4. I can only imagine what that was like for my mom. It was the way she learned to parent.

    1. I too have a mother with aquarian moon. And venus in capricorn. It’s been a cold relationship. Learning to mother myself.

  4. Avatar
    Miguel Melchizedek

    Here’s what I found in the cases that I know and have studied closely:

    1) Parents choose the child’s name and act differently towards each child in function of the child’s Astro chart rather than their own. So if One is, for instance, born with a 🦂Scorpio 🌔Moon rest assured they will respond to it accordingly. For instance, it’ll mean that giving birth (🌔Moon) to you had her on the verge of physically ☠️Dying⚰️ so there remains Unconscious resentment/👺anger😡 against you. But the 🌔Moon is also the 👩🏻Mother so it interchanges. Gal in Ukraine has 🌔Moon opposite ☄️Mars like 🐑Aries♈️🔥 🌔Moon => trouble with mother for the a.m. reason or simply because one of you has to express 👺anger😡

    2) I’d look to the 4th house. For instance I know someone with 🦁Leo♌️ Ascendant and 🦂Scorpio 4th House who at the same time has exact conjunction of ☀️Sun☀️ and •Pluto square the 🌔Moon. This mother, who is extremely manly in her attitudes and behaviors, the one who wears the pants in the house, was extremely violent to the child incarcerating her multiple times in dark room, beating her, basically terrorizing her, turning the child into a 🐺Dog who’s eager for any crumb, caress, even the hint of a smile.

    Another case the 4th is 👯‍♂️Gemini👯‍♀️♊️ with Mercury opposite the 🌔Moon and opposite 👹Saturn🪐, not conjunct but both in 🐑Aries♈️🔥. Mars is also square 💅Venus and square the Ascendant. You see that there is an immense amount of violence in the child that the parents will be possessed by and express against the child. Interestingly dad was sweet but mum was terrible. Mercury should be the mother given it’s the ruler of the 4th and the opposition of Saturn🪐 to Mercury thus should be the child being terrible to the Mother. There’s an interchange here because it’s the opposition that matters most, being adversaries. I’m observing that later in life yes the child now adult is really 🥶cold to the 👵🏻mother, seems Saint-Germain Goronandeck del IAMHS cannot overcome the accumulated 👺anger😡.

    People are born with a set of patterns. Parents choose the name and act upon these patterns expressing them.

    Everything starts and ends within. As Elsa said it’s your energies, patterns, Programs — own them and ST⛔️P the blame game. You see, more so cos you’re from Ukraine, you know the Matrioska — by 🧬DNA you are your 👩🏻👵🏻Mother and you are inseparable.

    Hating your 👩🏻👵🏻Mother equates only to self-hatred, period. Better ST⛔️P judging her and start ✨Forgiving✨ her and yourself 100%, no ifs or buts, otherwise horrible things may still happen.

    Last but not least, 🌔Moon opposite ☄️Mars means war with men, fights, perhaps even being beat up. But ☀️Sun☀️ trine 🌔Moon means empathy with men. Which one will you let prevail?

    How will you transmute all that violence constructively or at least not destructively on a daily basis? What strategies are you going to create and execute?

    What patterns are you replicating? I suggest you study Andromeda, Cassiopeia, Cepheus, Cetus, Perseus & 🐍🐍🐍Medu$a🐍🐍🐍. You’ll see it’s pretty much the root of all Cinderella, Rapunzel, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, etc. fables. It’s programmed into the whole of Humanity because it hovers our heads since birth, impressing our Conscience, acting from our Unconscious and Subconscious. Isn’t Perseus the ☄️Mars there?

    1. Saint-Germain Goronandeck del IAMHS has nothing to do with this, I think 😅🤣. I meant ‘she’ as in “seems she cannot overcome her accumulated 👺anger😡” (but she does becomes she uses SPIRITual tools to Heal and forgive).

  5. Avatar
    Miguel Melchizedek

    One way to simplify Astrology is to look at it as a set of conjunctions. For instance, see an opposition as a conjunction gone wrong 🤣 or, as in Portuguese speak, is negatived. Squares are also negative. Conjunctions with malefics hardly go well.

    So 🌔Moon square Mercury opposite ☄️Mars is like negatived 🌔Moon in 🐑Aries♈️🔥 meaning difficulty in controlling emotional 👺anger😡 but it is also 🌔Moon in 👯‍♂️Gemini👯‍♀️♊️/👱🏻‍♀️Virgo♍️ meaning anxiety, 😓Guilt😔, blame (game), remorse, rollercoaster of emotions. But it may also be seen as ☄️Mars in 🦀Cancer♋️ — suppressing emotions, brooding, 👺frustration😡, extreme sadness, introverting, self 👺hatred😡, being the mummy unable to get out of the 🦀Cancer♋️ shell and act => waiting for Perseus hero to come rescue and save her from oppressing mom — and Mercury in 🦀Cancer♋️ — being a poetess, writing Nicholas Sparks type novels. The T-square is a closed circuit feeding itself causing OCD. Definitely anxiety issues that may lead to bulimic-anorexia rollercoaster/yo-yo type thing.

    Trouble with mum usually means self-esteem (🌔Moon), insecurity issues reflecting upon self-image, body issues. This may express not only as obesity but as obsession with feminine shape body perfection. And in Ukraine/former USSR the mentality is still very much patriarchic, traditional, depending on and centered on men therefore the aesthetic shape/confirming to body perfection may get pushed front and center as a way to ensure a get out of jail outcome. But then you’ll maybe observe how the partner or the mother-in-law become a version of 👵🏻mother. Because the issue is internal and there’s no escape🏃🏻‍♀️💨, got to deal with and Heal it. It is possible.

    1. Avatar
      Miguel Melchizedek

      Mercury square ☄️Mars is like negatived ☄️Mars in 👯‍♂️Gemini👯‍♀️♊️/👱🏻‍♀️Virgo♍️ and Mercury in 🐑Aries♈️🔥. Talk too much? Cannot empty/silence your mind? Do you lie, compulsive liar, say no matter what to get out of ✨Responsibility✨? ☄️Mars/🐑Aries♈️🔥 is very upfront, likes the ✨Truth👊🏼 and acting in ✨Responsibility✨ but here is negatived thus may express in irresponsible ways such as blaming others, having hard time to take ✨Responsibility✨.

      If you follow the set in stone rule that *everything starts and ends within* then you’ll realize that you’re ✨Responsible✨ for everything that happens in your life. Study Ho’oponopono. It’s an absolute ✨Truth👊🏼 as separation is merely an illusion. This is what allows you to Heal yourself and others as you are them. And this is an excellent expression of ☄️Mars in 👯‍♂️Gemini👯‍♀️♊️, acting with multiple.

      Anyhow, all this is just establishing interpretation ways because without the entire Astro chart it’s quite impossible, some things fade or don’t get to express as others overpower them.

      1. You have a lot of valuable insight to share, but damn the emoji’s, friend! I feel like I have glitter in my eyes trying to read past them! Otherwise, carry on.

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