After writing (in the comments) about how at times people mistake me as something or the other and then become incensed when it’s revealed to them I am not who they think they are and reading the responses I got to thinking some more about this.
The one gal I was referencing who went absolutely insane over my lack of hatred for of strippers and whores and the men who frequent them, clearly thought based on reading my blog for a month or two (?) that I was akin to her. You know. She thought she could rely on me to be a kindred spirit and I think we were to a large extent. To a very large extent. But then we hit on this one issue and she just went ballistic.
She felt I was a poser of some kind… that I had a double standard. For example she thought (never happened) I was telling some gal to calm down about her boyfriend going to strip bars and insisted I would go crazy if it was the soldier going to a strip bar. This is just simply what she thought… or what she had arrived at via reading my blog.
However, she was wrong. I don’t feel those things. I would not react that way and there is no mystery about it as I used to go to strip bars with the solider when we were kids. I am telling you these girls do not bother me. So I told her this in the dialogue… I just stated it plainly but it was unacceptable. I had to be full of shit.
Well the soldier was sitting right here, so I asked him. “If you went to a strip bar do you think I’d be pissed?”
“No, I don’t think so. We used to go when we were kids…” he said.
See what I mean? This is just what the situation is here in this house and I tried convey it – reality – but the woman could not bear it or stomach it or believe it or I don’t know what but I became a dirty lying bitch over all this. I am horrible due the feelings I just don’t happen to have.
Never said there was something wrong if someone else felt differently. Why would I? I only wanted to stand my ground… state who I am because it is who I am. You just can’t tell me I feel things I don’t feel as if you know better than I do and here is the point:
I write the soldier’s son quite a bit and he’s very smart. He’s smarter than I am and that’s not flattery but fact. However, I am old! So when I state something that he challenges because he does challenge things by his nature, it is pretty easy for me to produce evidence to support my claim. I mean, I have been me for a very long time.
I did not come up with “me” last week. I am not a recently invented person but have been doing what I do, acting how I act for decades. And particularly on this blog if you want to tell me how I suck… well by God with 5000 blogs on this site alone, you ought to be able to come up with some evidence to support your claim outside of your weird vibe impression triggered reality. Because in spite of all the claims and accusations of my craziness, I am inordinately consistent.
Er.. I have been a hot headed do-gooder for how long now? Well, my memories go back to about 4 years old and this is one of the advantages of age I guess. Or disadvantages if you don’t happen to like yourself. You are what you are and with 5000 blogs here, with my face and my name on them (twice), I feel pretty solid about who I say I am and the upshot is this:
If you define me in some way that I feel is wrong, I am going to be able to deluge you with evidence dating back to the 70’s. It’s like the soldier. He’s been fighting / defending for 40 years without fail. If you can’t figure out that if you cross or threaten him you are going to get punched then it is YOU who is the delusional one.
What have you been doing ALL YOUR LIFE? What is inarguable about you and can you see it in your chart?
“hot headed do-gooder” I like that – sounds like you summed it up pretty neatly! I think it is a real gift/talent that you know yourself so well.
I smirked when I read “hot headed do-gooder”. LMAO
What have I been doing all my life? I take care of people. Things, too, but mostly people. I’ve driven myself to emotional and physical exhaustion at times in my life taking care of someone/everyone else. I’m working on that one!
I’m not entirely sure, but I think it’s my Pisces Saturn in the 7th – opposing my Uranus.
It occurred to me the other day that I’ve been dodging a cubicle since I was nineteen years old. Work in general doesn’t bother me, but I can’t stand to be anywhere near an office, doing office work, typing and filing….to me people who have to do this are in hell, and they don’t even know it, which makes it even more awful.
Being myself, that’s what I’ve been doing my whole life.
Rebelling, perhaps, as well.
I really don’t know and that’s rather sad if you think about it. *laughs*
Two things that never ever ever ever change. One is my passionate belief in the laws and art of astrology, but that is not something that I would lay down my life for necesarily because I wouldn’t see the point and anyway, I know what I know and no one can take that away.
The other thing and I guess the more important thing is my left wing liberal social work and social justice nature which I am very open about and most people know that I would stand there and die in defense of these views and have risked life and career and lost quite a few important things because I not only could not be swayed but also becase I have risked and lost everything in maintaining this world view that I have, which is unshakeable.
Another great one Elsa, wow, I didn’t know how much I’d been missing out until I got back!
Oh, yeah, and I love to poke humor at myself sometimes, and the whole ‘sun sign only’ thing can be hilarious to play around with. speaking of which, I have megatons of material, Elsa, not quite sure now, which part to send. Loonsounds humor now coming up. Maybe I’ll just send you the whole damn thing from today and maybe you can find the right piece to put in cuz God knows I am long winded.
What have I been doing all my life?
Being a wandering, people-loving gypsy (Sagittarius ASC opposed Jupiter)
Recurring dreams since I was 5, and likely earlier (12th House Neptune)
Feeling like I’ve got the world on my shoulders (Sun square Saturn)
…that is until I tell said world to SUCK IT! (Aries Venus/Mars conjunction opposed Pluto)…because NOW it’s time to drink, dance and fuck until we die…
(yeah that’d be the 12th/8th/4th Grand Fire Trine? Heh)
One of my earliest memories was wandering off on my parents at a country fair when I was 2. Even then I didn’t know why everyone was so upset, and I still have a vivid memory of the man who ‘found’ me
Loonsounds, it is fantastic to have you back! (Ps. I love to read, period, so I don’t care how long-winded you say you are)
getting gut instinctual intuitions that don’t make sense but always turn out to be right.
i still have a hard time making sense of it.
Trying to make sense of the world and the people in it; searching for meaning.