Neptune On The Midheaven: Vulnerability Or Lack Of…

dora-dog.jpgRainie writes on Randomness of War:

“Elsa, I found you a few years ago from Xanga. I’ve been hooked since then and along the way, came to care about what’s going on with you…”


“I think it has to do with being a strong personality; people don’t realize you have vulnerabilities so they blast away.”

That may be true, Rainie but I still think I am a very poor choice of person to attack. For one thing it is not liable to have an effect because I am inordinately hard to kill. People have tried to do it in real life and not managed so the idea someone is going to dismantle me over the internet is laughable.

Now if you do literally come and kill me, first thing is I won’t mind. I yearn for the release I feel death is so I’ll be fine, however you will probably be arrested.

You should certainly hope the police catch you because if they don’t the soldier will and you don’t even want to consider that possibility.  So there are these facts but here is the part that kills me:

I am poor, I try hard and I live a life filled with more (way more) than my share of suffering and you’re going to take a shot at me? You are going to steal from ME?

I’m sorry but that would be like slapping, Dora and I just can’t imagine it’s good idea in the long run.

What I find is the smarter people are, the nicer they are to me which is why I have been literally been surrounded by the super intelligent all my life.  Ol’ Dora has got somethin’ goin’ and so does P.

legendspitt.jpgThere is a line at the end of the movie, Legends of the Fall. The old Indian storyteller characterizes Brad Pitt’s character as a rock people bash themselves against. I understood this completely when I heard it 10 years ago and I just wondered how one graduates “rock-dom’ outside of doing a good job and hoping for better next life.

Based on this, I try to be a good rock even though I am a person but to you people who bash into me, what the hell? Can’t you see what is going to happen? About half the time, I think you can.

9 thoughts on “Neptune On The Midheaven: Vulnerability Or Lack Of…”

  1. Well Matthew, maybe they’re doin’ it on purpose. Maybe the want a free dominatrix, ya know? Why pay for someone to stomp you when you can just fuck with Elsa? 😉

  2. Idiots, that’s all. You said it best, intelligence surrounds you. It might also be that they just want to find someone to fight with because the righteous stick up for themselves. Yep that’s it they want to feel important. But they are outnumbered on your blog! Your blog, your blog, your blog! You have a mind and they don’t like your observation but once again they are outnumbered on your blog! They should make one of their own and stick to that, especially if they already have one.

  3. You know, some of the people who write here, and then disappear, I think HUH? Because they have something to offer…I can think of a few readers of your blog with intelligent insights who…well you watch them get more and more tightly wound, and it’s just kind of fascinating.

    I agree with ebay about the idiocy but sometimes I want to say, “Come back here you pissy-assed dumb fucks! We actually like you around here!”

    Or something equally mature and wise, LOL!

  4. Kashmiri, that reminds me, earlier this year one of my dearest friends observed that I like to argue with people even when I agree with them. After the minor discomfort of recognizing this to be true, I – no, we – had a good laugh.

  5. Wow! What a spectacular entry 🙂 Thank you for opening up like this — although i understand it must help with the release…i very much relate to this and it is beautiful to see your words. ultimately it truly is impossible to “kill” an archetype/a mass projection…in that way there’s the obvious comfort but it will feel truly amazing after completing all the hard work here to actually be released from this voodoo-doll like outer layer 😉 in fact when people ask me how i feel, i wish i could really tell them that i feel like being stabbed with tiny needles all into my face and chest! of course this thought alone helps me (and may not be coming entirely from me to begin with!!) and i laugh a great big hearty one but of course can’t tell anyone as they get concerned over possible ‘self-destructive’ “tendencies”…nope they are just thoughts (sun + mercury + node in Aquarius) and at least they help me! so instead here i am mysteriously laughing some evil sounding thing and go misunderstood again as it looks like i am the ‘evil’ one and not the one just in the immense pain, c’est la vie you know 🙂

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