Non-Librans Would Do Well To Learn This Stuff – You Too, Scorpio

Saturn is in Libra and all can benefit by learning Libran things. I am talking about Libra’s compensating, their controlling tendencies, their peace making – all of it!

I got thinking about this as I advised a Scorpio in consultation yesterday. She is trying to repair and restore a relationship that is very important to her and I think this is possible. These are all Libran ideas.

I wrote:

“Now I think this is a mistake but people do make mistakes. I think you can help people you love when they are making a mistake by not making any yourself! I am sure you understand.”


Did she even mean this or was this just her mouth moving when she’s tired and hurting? You can steady this by making sure what comes out of your mouth is well thought out. It will help her and ground her. In a way you are asking a ball of pain to do something which is… not likely to work.”


The reality is that it is very hard to be an unreasonable asshole when the other person is being sane so you be the sane one and perhaps you’ll find some real ground to stand on here.

The idea here is that YOUR behavior can and will alter theirs and you don’t have to be a bitch about it. Thinking of the other goes a long way!

What do you know about being nice?

22 thoughts on “Non-Librans Would Do Well To Learn This Stuff – You Too, Scorpio”

  1. Let them have their turn to say what they will, completely before you make a rebuttal. Interrupting leads to more frustration on both sides.

  2. oh yes this is so true.

    Once in a while I resent it a little bit with some people – the sense that it’s my responsibility to be more “grown up” than they are. But this is not productive, so I do what I can and when I manage to pull it off, it’s well worth it!

  3. This is such stellar advice! And you’re right, it applies to all of us. I particularly liked, “…In a way you are asking a ball of pain to do something which is… not likely to work.” Soooo true.

  4. What you describe here is more than nice (in my opinion) – it’s really really really evolved. I wonder how many people can implement this consistently. I will try. So so so so true.

  5. This post is totally familiar. I mean, I have tried to do this. And also wished for the other to do it too. And I have experienced the OTHER PERSON doing this for me: remaining sane while I’m in pain or spinning off. And it makes a huge difference.

    I don’t mean to sound negative. Just that I see it is very high level, very mature interaction. It takes being able to stop in the moment and see oneself, see the other, and not push it to a painful point. Do-able and worth it.

    How often do we say things we don’t mean but our mouths are moving, like you talk about here. So often. I know I do.

  6. Good advice. This has happened to me too. The OTHER is calm, while i’m coming undone. It helps- is sobering. Now, to be able to figure out how to communicate when emotional. This ties into moonplutos thread on how people shut down, or atleast for me it does.

  7. I think i just “got” that relationships are not about ME, they are about the OTHER. Duh… duh….and uhhhh DUH. I GOT this… i KNOW how to do this… ::slaps palm to forehead::

    This is why i love these threads. How can you learn anything about yourself without the OTHER. The questions that pop up here are a really good introspective look. I might not see myself without it. 🙂

  8. Very good advice. I have plenty of Libra also Cancer inc a Cancer Marsm and I try always to deal calmly and *gnerously* with any kind of relationship problem. It usually works.

    When it doesn’t, as with the Man I had to break from completely in January, at least you know when they won’t respond to sweet reason and a genuine attempt to find common ground, that they are probably a lost cause: the goodwill is not there on the other side.

  9. I am in the process of trying to heal my broken marriage. I have Scorpio Mars in my 11th and do have a tendancy to be fiesty with the OTHER. I am trying to be more aware of this and not react so quickly. I am trying to have more of a sense of humor and even if I feel attacked, I try to see what the OTHER is saying before reacting…to see if there really is any validity to what they are saying about me. Owning up and laughing about it is what really helps not only me process, but also the relationship. As long as I don’t feel alarmed or defensive, I can keep the waters calm.

  10. “…it is very hard to be an unreasonable asshole when the other person is being sane so you be the sane one and perhaps you’ll find some real ground to stand on here.”

    That’s so very true. Even in nearly broken relationships there can be surprising effects coming up this way – for both. And this is where I am at the moment. Thanks for this reminder!

  11. This used to come naturally for me. I still am this way, to a point. I have experience with one person who had no problem being an asshole to me, when I was mature, tried to set boundaries, was kind… no more. I’m tired.

    I told you I felt that I was becoming less evolved, in a thread here recently… that’s what I mean.

  12. Hi Elsa,

    I don’t mean to be the contrarian (or maybe I do!), but I think my Libran fairness gene wants to have a say.

    First, I agree with you. One person has to be the ‘responsible’ one in a conflict, or conflict will be all that remains when everyone gets tired of arguing.

    However, I have lived with an exception my entire life. My sister, who is truly personality disordered. I can be my kindest, calm, let’s talk later when things are not so heated self and it does not always succeed. The best I can do is try to remain in my position and be prepared to see, no matter what I do, the communication may be pointless. What I’ve come to accept is at best we will sometimes be able to communicate and others not.

    I’m sure you can imagine that I too would like to be able to keep the relationship with my sister, have a loving relationship, not only a situation of tolerating one another, however that doesn’t seem so realistic after decades of trying change. It seems the most loving thing I can do for both of us, is to relate to her – once removed. It is sad to say, even this very evolved communication you describe is not foolproof

    I guess I wanted to say this so someone else having no success sees there may not be a way thru to a desirable outcome.

  13. Barbara, I agree with you. This was advice for one person in specific circumstances. I decided to share it with a wider audience because I thought others could benefit but is it no more than it is.

  14. Yep. That works. If you CAN change your own behavior they will change theirs themselves in response. You can’t change people. You can only change your own response to people.

    That’s only if they can be reached at all, as Barbara pointed out. There are exceptions to every rule.

  15. I like being the sane one – it means I have to get my shit in order first, and then react.

    Like the oxygen masks in the plane – put on your own mask, then you can help others.

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