On Finding Someone To Talk To (About Things That Are Not In The News)

newsJ writes on Life Is Suffering, The Afterlife – America The Fluke?

“…Funny how so many people like to read about these sorts of things or go to movies about them, but finding someone to actually talk to about it is a challenge.”

Ben will talk to me for hours about whatever is on my mind, which is invariably something odd, but interesting. I usually have thought something through pretty well, before I bring it up. I generally bring something up, because I have questions or I want his opinion on something very specific.

We’ve had these conversations for 30 years. We both treasure them, but they take a couple hours to complete and it is hard to find that time.

satori also likes to talk about big things, but here again, she’s juggling jobs and kids all the time. She’s putting out fires, so it’s hard to broach something that takes awhile to develop, verbally.

denamaria LOVES to talk about stuff like this. She loves to hear what I am thinking about anything at any time. She finds value in what I say, because she can access me, very easily.

Most of all, she’s never offended. That’s really rare these days. To find someone you can talk to who does not become angry or defensive over some little thing, due to their bias or prejudice or whatever it’s called.  Most people have a whistle around their neck, just waiting for the chance to blow it. This makes it hard to speak to them, and maybe even pointless.

My husband and I talk a lot. He would like to be able to converse with me about the things that interest me more than he does, but he struggles to understand me on a number of levels.  For example, I will be trying to explain something to him – he will not understand why I care about the thing and that right there, throws a chock in the wheel. I guess he thinks I should think about what he thinks about. Our Mercury’s oppose.

We both try to bridge this. On my end, I try not to approach him until I’ve come up with an angle or an edge, I know he can grab.

For example, if I ask him to tell me what a military person thinks of something, or what a man thinks, he’s going to have an immediate answer. If I need a piece that is related to religion, he’s a great source. If I need a hack on some time in history, he’s very responsive.

But if I say,  “I am interested in sin-eaters,” he’s say, ‘What?  Why don’t you read ______?”

I have a choice at this point to either try to explain, or tell him to never mind.  I make my choice, case by case.

I don’t think my husband understands me. He says he doesn’t and I’ve come to believe him. I think it’s interesting that I hit the same blocks when I converse with his son. They share DNA, lol.

I also try to communicate on this blog. This is by far the hardest thing to do.

I would like to spend more time trying, but I don’t get paid to write and I have to make money as a point of necessity.

All in all, I think I am in better shape then most, when it comes to being able to discuss things that are not in the news!  I have my own talking points, yanno.


13 thoughts on “On Finding Someone To Talk To (About Things That Are Not In The News)”

  1. I think if we talked with typos we’d learn to value ourselves more. Just kidding. I think mercury is usually the starting point and the ending point when it comes to conversations that end. I’m outnumbered by two also and I get that we can’t get into it but its even worse because there’s no mutual recognition that we can’t get into it. The American culture provides for so much freedom we have to realize that we own a life and when we do we realize others own a life and in all we must not contend egos.

  2. My Mercury is in Libra. When I find an interesting thinker / debater who brings out my conversational side, I become a friend for life.

  3. I can pretty much talk to anyone about anything, but the reverse is not true. I am often disappointed at how “flat” & narrow people are… hollow!

    I can count on one hand the people I love to converse with =/

  4. “I try not to approach him until I’ve come up with an angle or an edge, I know he can grab.” I do this with the men in my life. Maybe trying to put it in a framework the other might want to grab hold of is a libran energy? Thank goodness for women; must be my 12th h venus, I have some fantastic women in my life and I can talk about ANYTHING with them. I have one friend I’ve known for 40 years and I can talk about anything with her. She doesn’t get everything I’m into, but she’s interested in my thoughts on all of it. So I feel deeply lucky. But I find out in the world it’s hard to get to this level. To get to know people. So many of us think about this stuff but somehow it’s hard to get there conversationally. 🙂 But Elsa, I’m going to try your specific topic thing in a conversation.

  5. I mean (curses Merc Rx, tangled speech),as I have a libra moon, the putting-it-in-a-framework technique feels familiar. Sorry Elsa, not trying to comment on how you do your thing. Wouldn’t.

  6. I have communication problems in every possible way. Most things people around me talk about don’t interest me at all (I’m not good at small talk), but the subjects that interest me, I am able to talk about very broadly and deeply until people around me scream in exasperationn (sorry for the strange English here). I have an unaspected Mercury in the third house, in Scorpio. That has probably something to do with it. I really would like to know more about the unaspected Mercury.

  7. Like McKenna I can talk with anyone
    Conversing is another matter, I’m a very deep emotive thinker mercury in cancer 8th house conjunct sun trine Neptune sextile Uranus/Pluto/MC
    Most people’s ditties bore the pants off me, I’m not being condescending but shocked at how few people educate their brains, stretch their minds or are CURIOUS to seek and explore knowledge.

    Best conversations ever had was someone with Merc in Libra widely square mine, never bored always something interesting, funny etc, actual understanding and communication was kind of poor but conversing was great!!

  8. I think I’m learning to not be so fearful about talking about whatever comes to mind lately… Rather than the other person trying to have their own particular conversation with me.. Hmmm I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that… You’re being completely honest and the other person isn’t expected to react.. Well, I don’t expect anything… It shows modesty I believe. It brings about subject matter that isn’t usually, or typically, discussed. Small talk is so boring… Why be the expected I say!

    I love this site so much I have to say… Everyone is so awesome and speak so much truth! Happy to have found it.. Very inspiring.

  9. 😀 I never realized before how much I edit conversation. Like who I can talk freely with and who I cannot. Small towns are tricky. Learned that the hard way.

    I was warned by someone when I first re-located here. “You can’t go around telling your truth, you will be run out of town,” he said.

    This was re-iterated years later when I replied to someone who was railing about what someone said to her, “It’s the truth, isn’t it?” Her answer was, “Yes, but you are not supposed to say it.”

    Oh and I got the same thing from a local I dated. I asked him, “you must have had an experience like this sometime in your life?” He said indignantly, “Well yes, but I don’t talk about it.”

  10. I suppose that is why I can use my gemini light SN if I need to. Small talk is okay. It’s the lies that are a challenge.

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