Marc asks the collective:
“In this year I know 5 or 6 gay couples in long term relationships that hit DEFCON 1 and exploded. On the one hand it was a shock because in many ways they were the models I looked to affirm that we could have successful relationships. On the other hand it was a lesson that nobody is perfect and that just because things look solid on the outside, that doesn’t mean others have things figured out any more than I do. I’m curious if you have any insight as to why these all hit in such a short period of time and if there’s anything else to glean from the situation.”
Marc, it seems there are endless angles to your questions so maybe people can just comment what comes to mind.
I think of Saturn in opposition to Neptune all year and as these planets broke rank the veil (Neptune) dropped and reality (Saturn) was revealed. Especially in these partnerships that seemed ideal (Neptune) but were in fact an illusion.
On a more personal level I would say you witnessed all these breakups for the reason you state which is also Saturn / Neptune themed in that you imagine (Neptune) people are living an idyllic life (Neptune) and you are deprived of same (Saturn) because you are flawed (Saturn).
So when Saturn moved out and reality was revealed in your case the reality was, “Oh I don’t suck (Saturn) as I had imagined (Neptune).
Anyone else?
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Interesting…
One of my close friends (lesbian) broke up with her wife earlier this year and seems to have begun questioning her sexual orientation. I guess if it is Saturn/Neptune, then this would make sense that what she thought about her reality was illusion, or was perhaps too severe or limited a view of her own sexuality that she needed to explore. Or, it could be something even deeper–about her self worth, etc.
Anyway…
YES! I recently had a conversation with a very strong Sag woman who was lamenting her lack of a partner.
“Oh, you guys are so lucky…” she says. Then I was totally honest when I said I think about leaving my life with my partner ALOT. Not because I do not love him, but in part because of the energies that the Saturn/Venus/Neptune grand trine in my chart (in fire, no less) brings…and I can’t stop fantasizing about running away to Timbuktu.
Thing is, she thought everything was ‘perfect’ and when she realized that a happily settled couple deal with independance issues on a daily basis…well, wow.
I regularily run into my SO’s Sagittarian ex (who left him because she wanted to be independant). She has told him AND me we have what she thought they could never have as a couple—independance.
EVERYTHING about a relationship takes work. If you’re willing to stick out the boring bullshit, it can be very rewarding…and I don’t blame people for not wanting to stick some things out. It’s my experience that sticking around has brought endless reward.
Maybe I should mention I have Sag ASC and so feel okay saying yes: we are idealistic. These gals certainly are.
A LOT of marital difficulties are going on right now. One week my shrink told me that everyone who was partnered that she saw was having problems. That week, my best friend also announced out of the blue that she was getting a divorce and moving to Oklahoma.
(Luckily, in that case, she and the husband are trying to work it out. Keep your fingers crossed.)
Another friend of mine is pretty well miserable with her husband right now, he’s been pretty omnipresent of late, and they’re about to go on vacation together at Burning Man- no contact with the outside world for a week. I’m worrying about her…
All of the marital blowups around me lately are making me relieved to be single instead of joining in the relationship hell!