Dear Elsa,
What’s wrong with me? I’m nineteen and I must be the only person my age that doesn’t like to go out. I’m probably the biggest homebody I know. I hate crowds. I hate large amounts of people in general. Socializing is out of question for me. It’s not that I fear being social, I just find it’s a waste of energy.
Also…Why can’t I stop thinking?!?!?! I over-analyze EVERYTHING, mostly in my relationship which is PERFECT so what’s the deal? I can’t stop thinking and it’s driving me insane.
Can anyone out there relate?
Sagittarian
Cuba
Anyone?
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with your cancer ascendant I’m not surprised you like to stay home. as your sadge stellium is in the sixth house I would bet you will find great satisfaction in your work. considering your age you probably just haven’t figured that bit out yet. with saturn and uranus in the sixth inconjunct your cancer, I figure you’d be well served to have an unusual job, maybe somehow tech related, self-employed, or working from home.
there’s absolutely nothing wrong with not being social. knowing what you don’t want so early in life is one big step toward finding out what you do want. I wish I had known myself so well at your age!
as far as not being able to stop thinking about your relationship, I suspect when you start focusing on work and expending your considerable talents in analysis (that’s a good thing!) there you will find a better balance!
Here’s the thing. I know a lot of fire sign stelliums who dont enjoy going out to parties or bars, or “crap” of the like. Why?
Because they’re too independent for that.
Who cares, right? You got stuff to do. Things to think about. And well, mingling is too libra or gemini. Cancer ascendant like to be “intimate” anyway.
Oh, by the way, I’m a fire person myself (4 planets in aries, with 2 more in sadge). AND I have an aquarius moon, so I NEED to socialize. I dont need to go to a “party” to see “people.” Parties are culturally defined as something “fun” & “popular”, but I think it’s kind of annoying. I do have a lot of friends and I don’t need to talk to them only at parties!
Also, that nn in the 8th house with grand trine with Pluto and your Cancer Ascendant.
You would not want something superficial, and perhaps parties felt to you that way? Also, maybe that can contribute to your over-analyzation, since you might like to get into the depth of things.
This chart is similar to mine and I’m definitely a homebody. It’s the Cancer ascendant. Home=security.
The stellium in Sag (which I also have) means that your social “butterfly” will mostly likely reveal in your work area. That’s how it works for me.
Concerning the “over-analyzing” thing, it could be your Pluto cj Mercury. Deep obsessive patterns. You probably can’t let go. I speak from experience 🙂
A lot of people don’t like partying. Some 19 year olds in my school preferred to stay in the dorm and read among other things. An entire house I knew was like that. A lot of my friends prefer hanging out one on one. 6th house has to do with health issues doesn’t it? What kind of exercise do you guys think will calm this person’s mind? Running, horseback riding, yoga?
Just a bit about intensity and your Chiron retrograde in the 12th. Chiron in a chart can show heightened awareness. The retrograde part may be referring to a past life. This astrology in the 12th house, can show an extremely sensitive seeker of the deepest meaning of life.
You may one day get really excited when you find one or more spiritual practices which feel simply wonderful to you. Through these practices you could gain a comfortable peace. By the way, in your spare time 🙂 you might also love collecting lots of astrology books and teaching yourself the subject (Chiron opposed Uranus in the 6th) I think this might be fun for you.
Worry not, Sagittarian, I’m one myself: I mean Sagittarius and a homebody. It’s hard to dare to be true to yourself at this age, but soon you’ll know you can’t be anybody else. And you’ll start feeling better about it.
Speaking as a Sag with Cancer rising myself… be thankful for the Cancerian reserve. It can take the edgoe off that “Shoot off at the mouth, ask questions later” tendency we have.
Besides, think of it this way: look around at the world. Do you think we need fewer “thinkers”… or MORE?
And… at the risk of sounding like an old guy… I was a lot like you at that age. Things change.
i don’t like going out to “socialize”, either. i never have. there’s nothing wrong with you. people who put extra stigma on their social drive and accomplishments and then expect others to do/be the same are assholes. in short.
as for worrying… it really is as easy as just not worrying. clear your mind, take up a hobby that takes up that intense back-and-forth thinking area of your brain (writing/reading for starters?), exhaust yourself in something worthwhile. relationships can and will end on the sole basis of worrying too much. analyze all you want, but then get back to work.
Our society tends to be dominated by extroverts (so I am told) and the prevailing wisdom is that the extrovert’s idea of fun is partypartyparty.
Introverts and loners (like me) don’t like all that stimulation. It really saps us of energy, and we tend to dislike any small talk whether in large groups or small.
Don’t be ashamed or feel that there is anything “wrong” with you. THERE IS NOT! In fact, people like you comprise many poets and writers, artists, and other people who bring culture and meaning to the world. Be proud.
A book that helped me enormously: “Party of One” by Anneli Rufus.
I’m a fellow Fire sign (Leo Sun) with the IC in Cancer, and depending on which house system is used, a 4th house (Equal) or 5th house (Placidius, Koch) Sun.
I agree that anyone who has a lot of Fire (I have Fire rising, Fire Sun, and Fire ruling planet) goes their own way and does their own thing. All these “pop” astrology books characterize Fire signs as party animals, but in actuality, they’re loners.
I like to nest and read. That’s my idea of a “fun” night. Or do beauty treatments (Libra Moon). I don’t like parties or socializing, either. If I’m at a party, I have to go off by myself for 15-20 minutes to regain my composure.
There’s nothing wrong with you. Don’t do something that goes against who you are. You’ll only make yourself miserable. Stay home and nest and feel comfortable.