Our Personalities Leak Out In The Small Town(s)

Jupiter god 1I’m adjusting to small town living and number of levels. There’s been so much going on, this is not a focus for me.  But sometimes it hits.

For example, the other day the husband was standing on the highway, wearing black pajama shorts, a t-shirt, white socks and no shoes. He also had a dog collar sticking out of the back of his shorts. He was down there to wave in visitor who’d gotten lost coming out to visit.

This house has been for sale for almost three years. Sign after sign after sign out front. Now someone bought it – people want to know who. So I thought this was funny.

I have no doubt people drove by, saw my husband and called someone on their cell phone, to file a report.  And the family that owned this house is well known in the area.  We bought the ____’s old house…and no one can pronounce our last name.

My name is, Elsa, but I don’t look like her at all.  I can see the confusion on the faces of the little girls who’ve heard, “Elsa is coming over.” I’m not too Ice Princess-y.

I don’t think about it, but then my next door neighbor says he works one of the local stores in a nearby town. And frankly, I don’t think I’d recognize him if I saw him in the store.  He’d be out of place, see? But I’m the flashing-neon newcomer.   So there’s lots of room for error.

I was talking to my neighbor. He knows this house well, seeing as his brother built it.

“We love the house,” I said. “We’re both in shock, though.  See, my husband and I – neither one of us has ever had anything nice, ever. We’ve not had even one nice thing, in all our lives. I don’t know why. We’ve both worked since we were teenagers, but we’ve just never had anything nice before. Now we have this house so you can imagine, we’re pretty stunned. We can hardly believe this has happened.”

The guy just stared at me.

“I turned on the lights in the kitchen. I’d never seen the house at night. It was so beautiful. The lighting is beautiful, like nothing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

It really doesn’t matter what I say or do. I don’t think you count around here ’till you’ve been ’round a couple hundred years.

The other day I read of someone running off the highway, nearly killed.  Man had the same name as the man who owned this house, and his brother, our neighbor.

“I saw a _____ got in that wreck. Is that a relation of yours?” I asked. “I’ve been worried about you.”

“I didn’t hear of no wreck. What’s the first name?” he asked.

I answered. “He related to you?”

“Yeah. Distant. Third cousin or somethin’.”

My husband says when they tell him they’ve been living here 300 years, he’s going to tell them, “You look it.”


22 thoughts on “Our Personalities Leak Out In The Small Town(s)”

  1. We live in the center of three small towns. It’s like 9 miles to one of the, 13 miles to the other and 21 to the third.

    The people in the towns, like their town, but people in my area can shop or work in any of the towns…you really can’t escape us. 🙂

    1. Years ago I moved to Summerville sc an hour north of charleston. I had a ruff time fitting in being an Italian comical witty scorp female!! Ended up moving back up north 7 months later because my belief in astrology was bringing strait to hell… Ruff. Years later I’m happy to say that the mount pleasant area is filled with cool north easterners like me!! Now I’m getting adjusted to arizona who knows how long this will last!! Glad I’m renting! Not much culture here

  2. I lived in the center of 3 small coastal towns in Florida, and here in this state I live in an extremely small rural town.

    They can be great to raise your children in, but the locals are very wary of outsiders. I was unprepared for how unwelcoming it could be. Of course, this isn’t the South, so the mentality is different. But still I didn’t expect so much ice.

    Plus, where we are, there are about 5 common last names that you see everywhere from local businesses to the locals themselves.

    I’m still deciding if I like this or not. I never expected to feel any sort of way about this at all, but they are little things that add up.

    1. I agree on the name! It was hot today, they’d moved the bed.

      “Want something to drink?” I asked. They did.

      I opened the refrigerator, there was tea and Corona! I had to ask…

      “Well, you can have some tea or you can have a Corona..”

      They both took tea. Baptists? But they told me later, if I offered another of their relations a Corona, “She’d love you, forever.”

      I’d not have done it…maybe. But they were standing right there!

  3. I’ve had the same thing happen to me a few years ago when I moved to the small town where I live now, in the Virginia mountains.

    If it hasn’t happened already, expect people to drop in to welcome you…but yes, they’ll be curious to sniff out something about you…and some of them will be dropping by mainly to see if you’ll attend their church. Some will be very gracious and warm about it; some might be a bit, um, rigid about it.

    When I first bought my little bit of land here, I was camping on it in a camper van, and lots of people dropped by to say hello (and sometimes more). One woman pulled in just after a heavy thunderstorm, making like she was being very neighborly, asking if I was (whatever form of churchgoer she was), warning me that I ought to move that van or it would blow down into the creek. I kept smiling and saying tolerant, friendly things as best I could, but I didn’t engage her on the church thing.

    Then when she went to leave, her car got stuck in a muddy spot because she’d pulled too far onto grass and it had just rained a lot. I ran to help push her out, ruining a good pair of shoes in the mud. She finally got back to the road and peeled out…I’ve never seen her since. LOL!

    But you bet, some of the nicest people in the world live in places like mine and yours. You’ll find them easily over time. Some of them will be the very same ones who drop in to see who bought the So-and-sos’ house!

    1. I have met a slew of truly nice people. Some medium nice people. And a few people, not interested in someone who has not been recommended. 🙂

      Thing is, I like all of these ways of being. I am going to go pick up our bedroom stuff here pretty quick. The men helping me work at two of the big box stores.

      One of them does handyman stuff, the other bush hog and mows…

      “Do you know a mechanic?” I asked. “I have that little Mazda, it needs a resistor replaced. There is a youtube video that shows how to do it….”

      That’s my next thing to fix. He’s going to look at the video, will probably do this for me…for 1/5 what a dealer would charge. 🙂

  4. I’m so glad you and your husband have a beautiful home! My family has been here since before the Revolutionary War but my Gemini Ascendant does not look that old 🙂

  5. That sounds like a very nice place, Elsa. I think you’ll fit in there just fine. I’ve always found the people down south to be very friendly and hospitable. There is more of a community feel.

    My town is like that because its a rural/residential area, but not as much as it used to be. New people moved in and I don’t know a lot of my neighbors anymore. Still, the town has kept its rural, small-town feel.

  6. wait till you wave at every one you drive by in town.. that’s my dad’s little town. he knows everyone and they know him ..his dad was a mailman/farmer during the war when most youngish men were gone and his dad knew everyone and so did his 6 sons.they were such good people-very helpful to neighbors. my mom used to tell me that all you really ever own is your own good name, and she said dad owned his

  7. Oh I can relate to this Elsa, I’m the only Brit in this small foreign town. I’m often misunderstood, although I try hard to fit in (adapted traditions and follow them, bring my kids up as ‘normally’ as others….learned the language well and help out in society where I’m wanted or ‘allowed’.) We’re having our garden done at the moment, it’s a big job and I planned everything so that the workers would know what I wanted and there would be no confusion. Saying that I went out earlier to check how it was going – one of the workers came up to me and said, “Everything is going according to the timetable and plan, Your Highness” He laughed as he said it, but I could tell by this he misunderstood me. I’m not a Queen type person at all, (I haven’t even got any nails!)but that’s the way they have perceived me, matched me to some stereotype and misunderstand my organisation as being ‘queenly’. It hurts but I’m misunderstood so often that I’ll just brush it off like the other times and go and make them a cake. I love it here and have it made this town and country my home but I’m different / foreign, an outsider (moon in 12th house / venus in 10th house aquarius / Aquarian MC / jupiter conjunct uranus square sun in 8th) That’s the price I pay for my dream – my dream garden and home (haven), time for my painting and writing. I’ll live with it. Truly happy all your efforts are coming together Elsa. Cheers!

  8. well, i’m not sure if its a southern thing, because I live in the northern part of the USA, just outside of Chicago, in a suburb. It’s the same here. It’s 6 degrees of separation; everyone is either married to, related to or knows you or your people in some way. People want to know your background-your family, school, church, etc.
    Its the way things work.

  9. However, do they keep track of all those stats, I will never know. When I moved to this rural area, everyone knew who I was, but I did not know them. Add to that, I have bad facial recognition. (Was surprised a few weeks ago when the girl brought a boy with her from another place and while at an event in a crowd, he commented that all the people looked the same.) There was also a set social code that I had no clue about. I was walking all over the lines. Never did figure it out. I am doing okay here but not exactly popular. More peculiar.

  10. 1. Life in my German village (I am American) was a bit like this. They all knew of me in like, four days. !!! Even people from other villages (we were in between big cathedral cities in Bavaria) knew me somehow — “Oh you’re the American/English girl with the big cat and —” They’d pop in to say hello and bring me soup etc. Everyone was my friend because their cousin sold me something in a village shop, I’d befriended another cousin’s ex-wife’s daughter’s dog, etc.

    2. Lived in Boston on Newbury for 3 years. Somehow everyone knew me via my landlord (very connected man) or my wardrobe or work, like, small town level knowing (“oh you live there, by the flower shop and you went to the big event at the Ritz and you had that great coat last winter or the skirts you and your friends made”…). When I was moving to another city I had kabillion people stopping in — people I didn’t know I knew, right? 🙂 Giving me books, telling me they remembered the day I appeared with red hair during a project, etc., or how their third cousin liked working with me downtown. What?! I stayed w friends in the North End my last week and a little ancient Italian lady come by within on hour of my arrival and knew all about me, my old apt, new job, move, father, etc. How?!?? I returned for a visit about two years later and people I barely recognized were embracing me and welcoming me home. Small town on a busy street.

  11. I live in a small town. Its not easy. Its never been easy. The level of unease goes up and down like the undulation of a sine wave. Its terrible in fact. Personally I think you are wrong when you say your personality leaks out. If you could equate personality with reputation, and then go on to say that you are not in control of your reputation – others control it, and make use of it. I never see what they are going to do until its done. I just dont see it coming – I dont think like them. You will experience all kinds of nastiness, and its all so very personal.

    1. Wow! I’ll be surprised if this happens to me. It sounds like you’ve had an awful time.

      I’ve had an awful time on the internet, with strangers. However, I’ve always gotten on well with people in real life Consequently, this is my expectation.

      But even in a worst case scenario…it’s okay. Neither my husband or I are too concerned about what people think. I grew up with, Henry!

  12. Having lived in big cities and small, rural communities – and a couple of places in between – I’ve found there are pros and cons to any place. People are people and their history and environment colors their personalities and predilections. I’m glad you’re settling in – happily, it seems – and I hope your reputation as an internationally acclaimed astrologer – they WILL find out, you know – will be a positive for you. (And I just lovvvve your description of your reaction when you turned on the lights in your kitchen. I’m visualizing…)

  13. I’m from the NY metro area and recently settled in a beautiful home in rural south. Struggling with culture shock. I’m not experiencing much warmth or charm that I’ve heard is so prevalent in the south. I’ve talked to strangers my whole life but maybe these folks aren’t strange enough??! Need to slow my roll….

    1. I’m glad you posted. A lot of people are fleeing their home states for the South. Depending on where you land, you may find yourself, MIND BLOWN.

      It’s now 6 years beyond when I first posted this. I’ve acclimated and really like where we live.

  14. I’ve come to truly appreciate this community on line and all the hard work involved in keeping this all together for so long. Thank you Elsa, Satori and Midara for all the timely and important information delivered in a common space free of limiting judgements and dedicated to the benefit and betterment of everybody. I’d love to buy y’all a beer!

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