As Saturn leaves Libra, many people are seeing their relationships end. This is an agony for some for a variety of reasons. You may be dumped, but even if you initiate the break-up, if it’s happening at this time, chances are you’re heavily invested.
You’ve probably been trying to move to the next phase with someone and they either don’t want to advance, or it might be that they can’t because of some impairment (addiction) or prior commitment (they’re married). People are coming to terms with these kinds of limits at this time.
It’s painful because no one wants to take a loss. It’s like dumping a lot of cash into a slot machine. You just don’t want to admit defeat and walk away. But what if you have to? It you’re in a situation like this, perspective will help.
Basically there are two reasons for a relationship to fail in this time frame. In most cases partnerships fail at this time because one or both parties have learned everything they can from the other person. They’ve completed the curriculum. In the other scenario, the relationship is actually viable but the people involved fail to work it out for whatever reason. Could be immaturity, stubbornness, power struggles, etc.
If you and your situation falls under the first category, you are not likely to suffer any regrets. If you’re breaking up under these other conditions, your regret can be profound and long-lasting.
To avoid pain, do the right thing. Act maturely. But if you have satisfied this requirement, frame the loss properly. You went through college with this person basically, but now you’re graduating and they’re staying.
As an example, when Saturn left my 7th house (similar to Saturn through Libra), I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years, The AMF. I would have married him but he did not want that. With Saturn heading into my 8th house (similar to Saturn through Scorpio), I was looking for a deeper connection and my (now) husband, stepped in.
I have no regrets. I hope this helps someone.
Are you ending a relationship at this time?
It helps. It does. I felt like it was written for me, although I know SO many others feel this way of late. Thank you.
YES. Many. So timely, Elsa. A thousand thank you’s.
excellent post!
although I’m not currently breaking up, I did end a relationship about a year & a half ago and it was excruciating. we were at the end of the line and it was time to call it quits. it was a clean and mature break. we hardly ever talk now and there’s no real reason to since my life has changed dramatically since we parted.
I am defiantly bumping into some serious libra flavored lessons with my current sweetheart. learning how to relate as equals without self sacrifice or asking the other to give in. remembering that he can’t respect my needs if I pretend I don’t have any. ( which means: why am I not respecting myself? blah blah blah)
the scenario I’m in now is the exact one I used to pine for with my ex. kinda bizar, down to the details. ( we farm, i became a baker, got animals, moved to the country, etc.) be careful what you wish for and enjoy the flaws in your dream world.
Just what I needed to read, thanks Elsa.
learning how to relate as equals without self sacrifice or asking the other to give in. remembering that he can’t respect my needs if I pretend I don’t have any. ( which means: why am I not respecting myself?
wow, I’m impressed at your maturity. It took me forever to learn that…people aren’t mind readers.
thanks, brizo.
I do think most people understand other’s motivations more than they let on. we ignore certain things and celebrate what serves us at the moment. it can be hard to be asked to be taken seriously, because it entails some personal confidence and integrity, which I am always working on.
friend today told me: it’s the rocks in the rocky road that build the foundation of the relationship.
This hit the nail on the head. Strangely, though I keep trying to leave a deeply bonded friendship and graduate, the other one doesn’t want me to go. Though he does not love me romantically as I love him, he does not understand why I need to say good-bye. I really tried to sever this this weekend but was frantically called over and over. Saturn is a bitch or bastard as it may be.
… With Saturn heading into my 8th house (similar to Saturn through Scorpio) I was looking for a deeper connection …
I know I”m looking for deeper connection. Perhaps w/Saturn in Scorpio I’ll find it.
Well-written, expressed, and totally on-the-Libran-money!
I had been trying to put into words about how it’s another person’s loss if they don’t graduate. They’ll just have to retake the lesson over again with someone else. The same signature will show up in synastry again with ‘someone else’. It is frustrating when this happens to the person whose willing to work on the problem and find a solution. And for the other person…? Even if they think they’re doing the right thing now, they will pay later. Saturn is no fool and he’ll make you pay for lacking the ability to grow (Jupiter). It’s sort of sick and twisted but Saturn can do the trick and help you have an amazingly bountiful life!
Thank you for the balanced perspective.
And it’s so true that if you do all you can (external, as well.. such as marriage counseling) you can leave with a clean slate and no regrets!
And “It’s like dumping a lot of cash into a slot machine.” Yup! With Cancer on my DC and other ‘markers’ such as a stellium in the 8th, I’ve been known to invest heavily in other people and it does feel like that — very difficult. But I’ve also learned from that and realize that it’s sometimes better to wait and see, before jumping in and making an investment on a volatile option. ;-P
So interesting! I know this is an older post, but I find your post very right on the money. My ex and I broke up in October 2012 – though I wanted to move forward, he wasn’t willing to make the changes and do the hard work to change himself and do what needed to be done. Come to find out a month later he’s with a girl who has the same sun sign as me – as well as sharing a lot of the same aspects in their synastry chart. I wonder about how karma/saturn will make him pay, or will it at all? He seems to be going all I’m with this new relationship with her – really what he should have done with me. This relationship can’t go on without any bumps. That just wouldn’t be just or fair! Plus, they’ve been together ever since Saturn was retrograde Scorpio. Turns direct today – wonder what kind of effect that will have on their relationship!
“To avoid pain, do the right thing. Act maturely.”
Sorry, I wanted to edit the above comment but can’t.
I’ve found some people saying they’ve ‘done’ the ‘right thing’ but they haven’t from my perspective. I don’t think they know ‘what’ the right thing is.
Can you lend some thoughts Elsa on how they can figure out right from wrong? And as you suggest, those people haven’t been ‘mature’ and have been more ‘me oriented’. But what I have witnessed is down the road, they end up paying for not doing what was right at the time (right, in Saturn’s mind).
It’s so silly, because I’m struggling with ending a relationship that’s not even off the ground. It’s all my crap and feelings about it, because this one totally needs to die on the vine.
But reading this was helpful. I won’t have any problems showing this guy the door.
It does help. Thank you.
That makes me a little nervous…
My 7th house starts at 8Libra and goes to 18Scorpio. When Saturn first came upon my 0Libra Sun, it introduced me to an Aquarius man who kicked off two years of love/relationship hell for me. Learned a lot about what I’m willing to put up with during that time.
Now I’m involved with another Aquarius man, but I want to believe that the lessons I learned with the other one have prepared me for something real with this one — and so far, this has been a magical relationship!
But does this mean my fairytale will end when Saturn leaves my 7th house? (Or goes over my Venus, oh no!)
(7th house holds my Jupiter/Saturn/Pluto/Mercury in Libra and Venus in Scorpio. Zero-degree Libra Sun in 6th)
Not ending a relationship now, but I realized a few days ago I am totally over my previous relationship. It’s a nice feeling.
What if it’s someone else ending “the relationship” with me? Not my choice, really, because I would very much like to remain friends. But I do understand that we can’t, right now at least.
The interesting thing is that we first met with Saturn 2 degrees in Libra. And the ground for us meeting was laid exactly when Saturn entered Libra.
Wow…amazingly timely post Elsa. I just ended a relationship that could have been. Met someone weeks ago and it felt absolutely wonderful, it was happening on both sides….until he decided he had a girlfriend. I was crushed…after weeks of confusion I finally told him today that it would not be possible to remain friends with him as he wanted. I am really proud of myself as i spoke from the heart and not in anger even though I was incredibly hurt.
I am reminded of this song today:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2EJai-3k2w&ob=av2e
It is pretty painful. The inevitable is going to happen literally in 3 weeks (he’s leaving the state for good), and I feel like I could’ve done so much more with him, if only I had the courage….
Cyress, your post went in the spam filter, I don’t know why. Sorry!
I am trying my hardest at this point to do the right thing and avoid pain. I’ve very nearly destroyed a relationship with enormous value due to my childish fears and compulsions. Now I am in heavy damage repair mode, trying to prove that it is not too late for me to learn this lesson. The good news is that I feel stronger and more clear and more powerful than I have in a long time. I feel like I can gain control over my life and myself and create integrity. My only hope is that the other person can see this and forgive. 🙁
Good luck, Midara.
@abella and Candela, I am going to write a new post to address your questions.
Yes, just under a year ago my SO of almost five years broke up with me. I was very hurt, but in retrospect I can see that I wasn’t really happy with the relationship either – I was much more committed to him than he to me. I think we were very well matched with common values but enough diversity of interest to keep it fun. After the breakup I tortured myself for a while with dreams of reconciliation, but now when it flashes through my mind I just ask myself “why?” Why would I even consider going back? I don’t have time to go through this again. I’m 64 years old and I don’t want to get into another relationship unless it promises to be till death do us part. I’d rather be alone.
In retrospect, my so and I are friendly, but there is nothing between us anymore. He’s still single – in fact he never did replace me. I’m seeing a beautiful Gemini man that thinks the world revolves around me – and I think I can handle that. My life feels like a great romantic movie. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. With Saturn perched on my descendent waiting to enter my seventh house (after the retrograde back into my sixth) I see serious commitment ahead. I may even agree to get married again – ME!!
When will Saturn move in to scorpio?
Not ending a serious relationship, but dealing with the realization that their will never be a reconciliation with the guy I was head over heels in love with 2 years ago. I haven’t dated much, but tt has not worked out with anyone I have attempted to date over the past year. I am looking for something very meaningful… like i’m so ready to meet The One. Patiently waiting…also bracing myself for possibly being single the rest of my life??? :/
Thank you Elsa! 🙂
You’ve probably been trying to move to the next phase with someone and they either don’t want to advance, or it might be that they can’t because of some impairment (addiction) or prior commitment (they’re married). People are coming to terms with these kinds of limits at this time
Spot on Elsa…tks for explaining…
Saturn is just not allowing us to pick frivolous meaningless relationships. We will all be rewarded for being responsible with eachother. Restrictions are just a big huge bummer. But we gotta do it.
“You went through college with this person basically, but now you’re graduating and they’re staying.”
That’s how I feel. I’ve graduated and I want something so much more. What looks good (venus) isn’t enough to sustain (saturn) me in the long run. It’s shocking to me that I was involved with someone who’s 14 years my senior who’s still at college really. Relationships don’t work for them apparently and they prefer things on the surface level so I left. If that’s the belief then I won’t get anything great from it. Up and onwards.
You are a star Elsa, thank you.
Thank you, Carolina. 🙂
abella, I addressed your question here:
https://elsaelsa.com/astrology/2012/05/22/pain-and-avoiding-regret-around-relationships-ending-at-this-time-cont/
When Saturn first entered Libra I was single. A few months earlier I had broken up with my long time boyfriend so I was in the look out…
Ever since Saturn entered Libra many guys have passed through my door, but none stayed.(Nor I wanted them to stay)
With Saturn in Libra I learned that it is better to stay single if prospects are not satisfying at all. Even one inch of disatisfaction won´t do. Right now,I´m enjoying my life on my own. It is the healthiest me.
Yes. I am. The other person does not want it. It true I invested soo much but now I can see why. The relationship makes so much sense now. It brought me so many gifts…but it was hell learning! I am soooo relieved to be done. graduation indeed.
When I hit my SR two years ago, the foundation cracks in my relationship, job, family became too much for me to hold together. It has been a long and difficult two years, and at this point, I welcome Saturn’s scythe on the loose ends.
It is difficult and
Oops, silly phone!
…and painful, but I would rather clear out the mess and make good, fertile ground for growth and good, healthy relationships. Trying and wanting aren’t enough. And it makes no sense to force the things that should not be.
Lost everything? Sometimes that is a good thing, if everything is a mess.
For Candela – https://elsaelsa.com/astrology/2012/05/22/what-if-someone-breaks-up-with-you/
Thank you for writing this post, Elsa. I’m interested in astrology and I know there’s no coincidence in this world. Everything happens for a reason. I just broke up yesterday because I want to move to the next phase, but the man I loved is already married & not able to do that. We met two years ago when Saturn left Virgo and entered Libra. He has Sun/Saturn in Libra & Moon in Pisces, while I have Sun in Pisces & Saturn in Scorpio. Both of us have Scorpio Rising, so we can feel the connection since our first meeting.
I love him though I know it was wrong. But then I’ve got tired because of those limits. So I decided that I must ended this relationship. It wasn’t (and never be) an easy choice. I’ve tried many times to give him a clue so he can be the one who said the “break up” words. I was afraid I will hurt him. But he never said the words and my attempts only made him show more affection to me. But my heart already feels too much pain & sorrow from our relationship, and now it creates some kind of defense system. Somehow, I know my lesson is completed and I need to move on, though it wouldn’t be a happy “graduation day”. Then, yesterday I told him that I can’t be with him anymore, I need to save my heart.
I’m sad, lost, and feel guilty for hurting him. Then I read your post and realize that I truly have no regrets (except for the guilty feeling). I have learned so much for the last two years, and finally I am able to make the right decision. Hope it will stay that way, because I’m still afraid he’ll try to do something to win me back. Yes, he often does that.
Your post also gives me a sense of direction to my next step so I can move on, and reminds me that only the lesson is meant to be for me, not the relationship. Thank you so much, Elsa. 🙂
Hmm, my relationship of 6yrs ended in Dec., but I didn’t move out til around Feb 15 (just as Saturn has begun to go Rx) and that’s when it FELT over. When I finally flew the coop.. he broke up with me and insisted I didn’t have to move out the fact was I felt I had learned all that I could from our relationship and was glad that that cycle of it was over..
Yes.
And there are both impairment and prior commitment present.
The relationship didn’t have a chance to become a proper one for a year because of a prior commitment. But the the plans were made, the deal was struck. Funnily enough, the impairment showed itself during the free-trial year.
The prior commitment thing is going to disappear quite soon, but I am not sure we are going to survive the impairment thing.
The emotional investment is huge. The limitations are unbearable.
I have ended the relationship and rekindled it again 5 times in the course of 6 months.
I haven’t been able to make the decision and follow through!
Is ENDING a relationship actually more natural than starting one during Saturn leaving Libra? Would LEAVING actually make a better choice?
The timing of your posts are like you have a window into my mind. Thank you Elsa, your posts help me put some things in perspective
ditto @ ladyluck
strange coincidence that we are going through the same stuff
I can’t help but think that the recent break ups are also related to Venus Retrograde. Have you written about it, Elsa?
Have not written about Venus rx..maybe tomorrow?
Yes. Just did. We met during venus/jupiter transit of my 8 house. But he has too much neptune…and so do I
@post 28.
It’s so true…
Looks like it’s about graduating for me as well. =/