Pining For Reuben – Seduction, And Who’s Using Who?

Catbird seatThis Pining Over Reuben series is meant to illustrate a Venus Neptune exchange from a variety of angles. For one thing, with Venus Neptune it is rarely clear who is using who.

As I mentioned in the original post, Reuben was a guitarist and the lead singer in a local band. He had a variety of women, girls really, as we were all very young. The girls made a point of dancing right in front of him; dancing for him as opposed to dancing with the man who had escorted them to the dance floor.

I watched all this, studying the effect of the catbird seat. I knew that anyone on stage was enhanced. I worked day bar and I enjoyed being on the stage by day but in the shadows at night. I was working a number of angles.

Venus Neptune is about seduction. The girls who danced in front of, Reuben did score. He typically chose one each evening, but he had an eye on me, sitting alone at the back of the room, as I knew he would.

I knew he would because when you’re in the catbird seat, most people treat you a certain way and it’s the anomaly that catches your attention. Reuben would look over the crowd in my direction, wondering why I wasn’t shaking my ass for his too. I deliberately created the a situation.

I did the same thing with the bartender in this place. There are only so many types that come into a bar and here again I made myself the anomaly. I was amused when he asked me various questions so he could categorize me, as I ordered my standard orange juice and soda water.

It was simply impossible to tell what the hell I was doing in this bar, showing up for the first set when the bar was half-empty, not drinking, not shaking my ass for, Reuben but clearly, clearly enjoying the music as I did enjoy the music! Venus Neptune *is* music.

I liked this confusion for a number of reasons. I was definitely studying. I have always wanted to learn everything I could and you have to admit this is interesting but it was also a great defense (Saturn Neptune) and distraction.

Heartbroken and confused in general around men after my (eventual) husband and I cracked up they way we did, I just didn’t want to get involved with anyone so this worked out for me. It was ideal, actually.

Reuben would come off the stage and dance with the girls who danced for him but he couldn’t approach me at the back of the room, even if he wanted to. Not without risking rejection that would not be good for his image.

Plain and simple, I used, Reuben. He was fodder for my fantasies and his actual personality never entered the equation.  Matter of fact, I actively and consciously filtered anything I didn’t like.

Skip to Pining – Then What Happened?


15 thoughts on “Pining For Reuben – Seduction, And Who’s Using Who?”

  1. (scratching head)….

    I am understanding this more and more, thank you Elsa. I believe I was Reubena in my case. Not sure what I did wrong to never see me again. We got along like peas and carrots. Then again, maybe I didn’t have to do anything. The gent I speak of has this Venus [] Neptune.


  2. Avatar
    Blessed Place

    The Man has a Venus / Neptune trine, and he worshipped me from a distance for over a year before we got into the sack – we regularly met in a bar [club] and a couple of other places we both used, but I kept him at a distance. He’d usually make his way over at some point and chat me up… He never quite propositioned me but he made it clear he would if he got any encouragement (that subtle Pisces Mars in action! lol)

    I’m convinced he never really deviated from whatever fantasy he had of me in the subsequent 24 years we knew each other! – which inevitably kept crushing up against the [very solid Cap] reality

    Can I ask how the Neptune Venus trine would differ from the Neptune Venus square (which I have)?

    1. “Can I ask how the Neptune Venus trine would differ from the Neptune Venus square (which I have)?”

      Same thing but not as harsh / easier to work with.

  3. Mmmm. I have venus and neptune conjunct exact (natal) in my first house. Does that make the delusional or the delusionee???

  4. Don’t know what’s hitting my Venus/Neptune lately, but I’ve been in serious pining mode. I know I should get back to reality, but that just doesn’t sound as satisfying.

  5. Loving this story Elsa! Soooooo Goood! I like this catbird seat term! You learn something new everyday even if its a new word. 🙂

  6. Mmm thanks, and I think like you and Reuben we were always to some extent using one anther to act out certain fantasies – and unwilling or unable to see the full extent of our mutual incompatibility.

    We also both hung on to those fantasies about one another, long after we should have pulled stumps on the thing

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