It was the strangest thing. I was out walking as I’m prone to do. I walk around the neighborhood and on the trails in the nearby park when weather permits just to clear my head and never give it much thought. But the other day I was out there and as I walked by 3 boys / men, I felt afraid.
The men were maybe 17-20 years old and doing nothing to threaten to me. They were just standing alongside the path chatting but I could not stop the reality from dawning on me – I was at their mercy.
Fact is, there were 3 of them and 1 of me. They were bigger than me, stronger than me and younger than me and if they had it in their mind to hurt me I would have little hope of defending myself.
This is not a new reality but the conscious realization of it is new. Last year, I’d have passed those men without a thought so I ran this by a couple people I respect.
I asked Claire-France what she thought:
“It occurred to me if they wanted to commit a rape, there would have been nothing I could do,” I said. “I walk by and they are either rapists or they are not. They are either moral or they are not. Because if they want to take me down they certainly can.”
“And they are thinking the same thing,” she said, chilling me some.
“I suppose so. It’s a fine line, isn’t it?”
“Very fine.”
Later I recounted my experience to the soldier.
“You were right to be afraid. Dang it, P, now I am going to worry about. Can you just walk in the neighborhood?”
I am pretty sure that Pluto in Capricorn will profound affect on the level of fear and sense of security of the collective and I wonder if others are having similarly flavored experiences.
Are you afraid of things that did not scare you a year ago?
Yep, that’s a great book, ewinbee, I recommend it all the time.
My sense of my experience is that I channel the collective. I really think I am one of those animals who know things before most. You know those people who walk out of the building right before it burns to the ground? I’m pretty sure I’m one of them except I have Capricorn not Scorpio so I walk out a week or two ahead, LOL. Lots of buffer there. 😉
something like this happened to my dad & my brother once. they went fishing in a river and were about to walk the path back up to the car when my dad says he got a bad feeling about it. so instead of walking up the trail they took a different route. once they were back up at the car they saw a disheveled-looking guy hiding behind a tree with a rock in his hand. so i guess there’s paranoia and there’s intuition – though sometimes it’s hard to tell the two apart!
There’s a fantastic book about this phenomenon called _The Gift of Fear_ by Gavin DeBecker, about how those fear impulses are intended to protect you… and about which fears to listen to, and which ones not to.
Men have strength on their side, but women have access to intuitive resources that we’ve developed in response to that. A mouse is at your mercy, too. But a mouse you can’t catch is a mouse you can’t kill.
“Were you scared of being alone around men before?”
No, Dina that was the point. I am not afraid of men and at except for it turns out I am. ::smiles:: This is what I mean, it is a fragile, very fine line and fact is a women isolated with 3 men is at risk and fact is all 4 people know it even if they don’t know it.
A year ago I had just finished my probation at my current job and it was like WHOOOSH! Relief!!!!
Currently though its a constant for no discernable reason.
I’m also kinda freaking about relationships, but that I can grasp definite issues (lack of trust, commitment phobia, ect.ect.) and can address at least.
I’d definitely say my fears are ramping up over where they were last year.
I’ve been more scared than before but some of this is imagining things. Were you scared of being alone around men before?
Oh hell yes. But I attribute that to my current addiction to “The First 48” on A&E.
Before though, I was usually oblivious and fearless to such things. Kinda naive and scary now that I think about it.
I did have an intuitive moment on Friday. My husband and I were at a local resturaunt/bar out on the patio having some food and drink. I felt extremely uncomfortable while we were there. I kept thinking to myself..is there gonna be a drive-by….a fight maybe….a stabbing…a shooting?? I just felt so much negative energy. I never really felt this way without an event/reason/person to make me feel it. I kept trying to brush it off, but the feeling lingered. When we got up to leave…low and behold I see that my EX-(controling, emotionally abusive, anger management, scorpio)-boyfriend was sitting directly behind me the whole time. He still haunts my dreams, seriously.
This happened to me recently. I was ambitious and got up at 4 to be at the gym at 4:30. As I made my way up the stairs to start my work out, I let myself get spooked by the thought that I might be the only woman. There probably weren’t even 5 people total working out but I was actually skittish about the safety involved in not having to wait my turn for the machines. I felt better when I saw another woman working out. I still don’t understand why I was worried.
Well, I’m experiencing so many new things on a seemingly daily basis, that I have no time for being scared. Here I am, living alone in NYC all of a sudden, taking the subway (which I never did in my LIFE, even tho’ I grew up going into NYC all the time), etc. I’m aware enough to avoid trouble, and my senses are definitely heightened, but more scared? It’s too difficult to say, considering all the changes I’ve made lately….
I always have that feeling when I walk by groups of men (and I really like men–I mean, I love them).
But I always, I mean, ALWAYS have that fear. It got planted in childhood and I’m sure it will never leave. I don’t think it will disappear either.
I’m actually scared of LESS than I was a year ago. I attribute it to Pluto crossing my ASC. Pluto in the 12th is pretty good at uncovering one’s fears.
no.
but i’m normally paranoid. a little too much eighth house, maybe 😉
No, but Ive always been hypersensitive to situations like that. Because the reality is, average women just arent as strong as men – even men younger than us. I wouldnt want to tango with my neighbors 13 yr old grandson yk? I think all women are a bit hypersensitive to it (yk, pay attention to your surroundings, walk with your keys between the fingers of your hands like brass knuckles, get into your car & dont just sit there balancing your checkbook or something – drive off etc) at least more so than the average male.
Ewinbee and Elsa thanks for recommending that book my pluto-saturn conjunction in the 8th is completely intrigue and cant wait to read it.
I know theres things Im afraid that I wasnt a year ago, I just cant think of it. Im running a blank now, doh, I cant feel it in my gut.
I have always felt fear and been aware of rape when alone around with men though which is I think due to my natal position of Pluto-Saturn-Venus conjuction in the 8th and due to personal experinces however since last year when transiting Pluto hit my mars (& still is)I had a major life transistion. I think due to Jupiter moving into capricorn, passing my mars and eventually hit my moon I have become less fearful and carefree in general….its great. I keep thinking wow gosh this is what its like to feel Sag, even though I have nothing on a real Sag haha.
after being out of work for a bit, a longtime friend gave me a line on a job at her place of work. i was hired and wound up reporting to her. Turns out she’s the boss from hell — berating and belitting and throwing her weight around at every turn. hmmm. pluto transiting my chiron in the 11th…I’ve become hyper aware even fearful —
skye-it’s a great book. i had my daughters read it. the stuff that’s in there could very well save their lives one day.
I’m scared about Aug 2008. I am feeling like it is going to be craparific.
Last night I went around the block before pulling in the driveway because there was a car behind me throughout my drive home (5 miles of twists and turns). I didn’t recognize it and there were 2 young guys in it I didn’t recognize. With Pluto on my Mars / Asc I’m being quite cautious.
Elsa, I was born worrying for the worse! Saturn in the 10th house, Capricorn.
Yep, that’s what I’d think. It may be from having generations of Italian women putting the fear of God into me… or, it may just be ME. Who really knows!
I am definetely more afraid than I was one year before. But I am scared to be in a relationship, because of my bad experience with the particular(too)long one.