The soldier said something pointed the other day that really got my attention. He is very sensitive to selfishness and very repulsed by it. Same with greed and I’m not talking the kind that wants to keep all the nacatamales he covets. He’s entitled to that when he gives everything he earns in one form or another and always has. A man has to eat so he can serve and that’s all there is to it.
“Why is she doing that?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I guess because if she does it the other way, she’d going to feel bad.”
“Yeah<” he said, his voice jaded. “So she’s going to make 100 people feel bad just so she can avoid feeling bad herself…”
I was stunned because he’s summed up the situation succinctly and this gal’s behavior is not extraordinary. I think it’s very ordinary for the me, me, more and more for me generation and way we have been living over these last years.
The thing is this stuff is just no longer going to wash. People are just going to have to think of each other, pitch in and make sacrifices or they just going to be crushed.
What’s painful (for me) is the people who are due to be crushed seem to be utterly unaware. If there was ever a stupid teaching it’s the idea you can have it all and not only that, you can have it the way you want it too! Does that not seem like insanity? And it goes even further.
You can have it all, the way you want it and at the expense of other people. Now who does that sound like? Bernard Madoff? How many are just like him on a lessor scale, hmm? I’d say that number is high.
And of them how many do you think realize it? I’d say that number is low.
Is this scary or what?
I was chastised last week for putting up a video of kids running from the police. The kids were killed when their truck was hit by a larger truck and I stated in the comments as part of my defense that there are times you just don’t get a second chance.
With planets in Sagittarius you can run on luck. Planets in Capricorn the luck runs out and you better be real and you better have substance. It is very painful to see people operate as if this is not the case because you just know that truck is comin’ see?
Are you selfish?
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I’ll get it when it gets there. The trash is empty right now, I think it fills in batches these days to make the site load faster….
No. I’m not selfish, I have too much justice in me to believe I can only live on luck … even with Venus in Sag, I was born and bred with doing for others. Still, being human is a tough haul, and I get very confused when I see old friends selling-for-the-man and saying “Well, if you believe the sky is falling then…” when all around us the sky falls on folk all the time.Or, trucks come. Believing in my self as the sky DOES fall, that will be the stuff of a skillful GoatFish, yes?
..yeah, well, seems part of my job is to teach that to all these pluto in sag kids that are filling up my classroom…
i can be. usually when i don’t pay enough attention to realize when people aren’t telling me what they need. i’m not too perceptive on that, some times…
Not selfish, but a survivalist. I do think one of the best ways to survive is by helping other people, though.
I swear I haven’t been living under a rock, but at the same time I’m dumbfounded that anyone really believed that you could have everything. When I was a kid I thought this was a lame joke, but I remembered it -my mom always told me “Rule #1: You can’t have everything. Rule #2 – see Rule #1.” Hokey, but true. This fact has actually been hitting me like a ton of bricks ever since my Saturn return 3 years ago, and Saturn rules my DC which Pluto just crossed so if I was ever in doubt, I think I get the picture now. Definitely not going to have everything.
Sometimes I’m selfish with my computer skills. I just really don’t want to work on everyone’s computer….really, I’m not kidding. I am trying to do better and look at it from their point of view.
I tend to not be selfish, but I also am now more inclined to stand up for that fact rather than keep silent. A co-teacher and I were discussing lesson plans and figuring out what to do next. Her evaluation is coming up, mine too, but I don’t really care, and she said she wanted to do a lesson that made her look good. I asked what was best for the kids (I’m new to this subject) and that was what I wanted to do. We’re doing what’s best, but she sure is being pissy about it. And wyrdling, I’m with you…a whole generation of “what, me work?!”
Well Tam, they should be doing something for you too!!
I’m selfish concerning four things. Other than that I don’t care I’d give anything away or share if someone wanted it.
Is anyone SOCIALLY selfish?? This is the distinction I am interested in rather than getting / keeping / hoarding items…??
What do you mean socially selfish? Like selfish in a utilitarian way (not so sure what that means)in the sense of helping a minority and harming the collective?
Hmmm…socially selfish? This is an exquisite distinction. I’m protective socially, and with the illness I live with ‘social’ is difficult. So the contact I can maintain through my blogs, here, and over the phone are discerning. I put myself out there because I have LEO in the house (4th) and in my day I have loved entertaining live. I am generous and share what I know, but if I smell a rat or a snake whose about to steal my ponies ZIPPO. When I’m running on empty, I just don’t pick-up and friends know I will when I can.
akasally, yer so funny. I love it when you come here! 🙂
Could I profit at someone else’s expense? I have never been in a position to do so, but I am quite certain that I could not. If a cashier gives me too much change back, I let them know. Because I know it would come out of their pocket at the end of the day. I wonder if one is dealing in millions and millions of dollars, they are just so removed from the real world, they just are not capable of getting it???
It happens Elsa. I have Mars in Gemini, Mars rules the 7th. People tend to “steal” my ideas. I am a good “ideas” man. Its hard not to feel ripped off when my work or ideas are used to to some success by others.
Oh well, I take it as a compliment or take them to copyright court for ripping intellectual material.
kingsley
People hijack my ideas too and sometimes my exact words!! Has drivin’ me crazy in the past but I am becoming accustomed!
Selfish at the expense of others? No, I give too much of myself for that. Lot’s of Virgo. Working, serving and providing for others. Sometimes I am socially inept, in that some things don’t dawn on me until later. But I believe that I am very good at going back and making things right, possibly to the point of it being a character flaw. I am definitely selfish about needing time and space to myself sometimes. And good with defining boundaries. This is not what you mean by socially selfish though, is it?
I try not to be.
i don’t know anybody who considers themsevles selfish. even among the worst, there is always “justification” (read: rationalization).
by socially selfish, i’m guessing you’re referring to the choice of causing discomfort for others versus causing discomfort for self?
because i will take the discomfort myself first, for a reason that could be considered utterly selfish: it would be a lot more painful to me personally to cause pain to others than to take the hit myself. so it’s not like i could count that in the nobility column.
No. It’s abhorrent. I do see far too much of this behaviour in people. I do a lot (probably too much) volunteer work (I consider it a duty not a choice) and it’s amazing the excuses people use to not go out of their way to do the same. Too busy? Too busy doing what exactly? Shopping?
Socially selfish? Yup!
I’m fiercely protective of my time and energy, and if I’m in a relationship then that extends to my partner (i.e. no social outings alone that I don’t approve of). I can be pretty selfish when it comes to that.
I read this and struggle. Because I have to ask myself, “What is selfishness?” And it’s funny, because there is selfishness, and self-centeredness, and sometimes either can be good and in the best interest of the many. That said, if Pluto in Capricorn is likely to point a spotlight on creatures that scurry about in the dark of their own greed and selfishness implemented purely without regard to impact on others … a part of me hopes that it shines on certain behaviors, so that those behaviors can be seen in the light of bigger pictures.
That said … I think it’s very easy to cast daggers at “them”. “They” will pay. “They” will get a comeuppance via Pluto in Capricorn. But I think we all need to be careful with those daggers, because who knows what cosmic bills will come due our way. We also may be part of a “they” in ways we don’t realize.
In regards to this note “you better be real and you better have substance”. I agree. I think this goes in particular for the tabloid and internet media that rose up and exploded during Pluto in Sagittarius. Including blogs.
And in regards to this note, “I was chastised last week for putting up a video of kids running from the police.” I agreed with the statements of person who posted concerns. I thought the content should have been presented with more care. I say this respectfully. Because I want to give the respect of speaking up, instead of just abandoning as a reader because I’m irritated. What I felt was that there was a tone of celebration – that these kids got something they deserved. I don’t think those kids deserved death. But I also think I understood the root goal of what was being communicated, which was to present an illustration, a moral. And in a way, additional value could come from what happened to those kids. It’s just that the thoughts were not expressed as compassionately as they could have been. (As a note – I don’t mean to imply that this lapse in expression of compassion is evidence of true lack of compassion, just that this particular lapse in communication of compassion was noticeable.)
I’m choosy about how I spend my social coin, but I don’t think I’m selfish, no. If you look lost, I’ll ask if you would like directions. If someone asks me a question, I’ll answer with whatever I have available at the moment.
But damn it if that question is “can I use your cell phone” the answer is no. A girl’s gotta have a line somewhere!
I ask myself if I’m selfish all the time and I’m honestly not sure. I think I probably am, but I’ve asked my friends and they say no, but they’re friends right? I work on not hoarding and I do like to give (at least as much as I like to hoard) I think I’m probably fairly balanced between ‘me first’ and ‘let me help’.
As for being socially selfish like . . Needing to be the center of attention all the time? or Not wanting to share friends?
I like to be the center of attention every now and again maybe once every other month? I’ll go out and rock the dance floor? And now and again I lose track and totally monopolise a conversation. But I’m willing to let anyone monopolise a conversation if I’m interested, and I love anyone who gets up and entertains and does a damn good job (and baby I can Dance!). I do get twinges of insecurity if my old friends seem to like new people better than me, but . . I can’t do anything about it if they do. So I just try and remind them I’m around (without being annoying because Ewww). Maybe invite them out for coffee or send them a quick How ya doin’ email.
I think this piece is jacked because I cannot define what I mean without specific example and I can’t come up with one without compromising privacy so have to just let it go but do want to apologize for the… undefined sloppy work here!
I wondered if maybe I was missing the point. 🙂 But the resulting conversation was interesting anyway! (There’s a gemini for ya – we got to talk more! People said things! It was interesting! *laughing*)
Nope. I can be self absorbed, but I am not selfish in the least bit.
Here is an example of selfishness..
1st thought a trip I made to the Middle East in the 90’s..
The lesson I learned on the trip
If you are the leader/clergy/pastor on a religious pilgrmage how can you enjoy yourself and say you had a good time staying in an expensive hotel and watch children starve in the tourist areas and say its Gods Will.
My response was, “maybe its Gods will that we are here and instead of buying souveniers, we can by the children sandwiches and water ?”
Clergy response…”You can not interfer with God’s Will, those children are not the same religion.”
Thanks for this post, Elsa. It woke me up a little. I’m living in the shadow of someone right now who thinks she can “have it all.” I love her more than anything, but she’s definitely in the have it all and have it her way mode, and I’m in the “wow, so things really are never going to look like how I wanted them/imagined them” learning curve which is major humbling for this goat. I even caught myself a few times thinking my “have it all” friend actually could and will!
I am NOT selfish at all. I am the opposite of selfish. However. I refuse to be cornered into boring one-on-one conversations, I refuse to feel guilty when someone tries to manipulate me and I am un-manipulatable.
I pony up to guilt, sometimes. I narrowly avoided a sweet little old lady who obviously wanted to talk my ear off on a recent ferry trip. I was cold, yes. But I also had been driven to despair and back by my sibling and NEEDED PEACE. I just needed that hour and half so freaking bad!
So I kinda ignored her and you know what? Sweet little old lady whipped out her cell phone and talked incessantly to…someone who likes her! (She then left me with all her bags-without a word, and I was stranded by guilt, when I really needed to get something to eat).
You shouldn’t feel guilty Kashmiri, – even sweet little old ladies have to respect others boundaries.