With Saturn in Virgo people learned to better communicate. When Saturn is in Libra, people put forth an effort to be attractive.
The concept of being able to sit on the couch thinking love is going to come knock down your door and sweep you away will fall away. Women will realize the man on a white horse is a fantasy and if they insist on clinging to it, that is all they are going to have.
Men will have to come to terms with the fact real women aren’t airbrushed. When this happens people will begin to be able to partner again which is going to become more and more a necessity.
I studied the interaction between men and women intently for about 20 years and definitely honed my skills around man-getting. It’s no secret I prefer to be partnered just about as much as I like to eat or breathe. People do expend effort on what is important to them so you’ve to to expect a person like me to have developed skills.
A number of years ago (2001) I started posting a tutorial for women who wanted a man on my blog having no idea the reaction it would garner. People flipped their lid and I mean they came unglued. I persevered and continued to write on the subject for a few days but eventually the cost was not worth the benefit.
I titled that series, “Many Fish Bite If You Got Good Bait” after a line in Taj Mahal’s song, Fishin’ Blues. I think the song alone throws a lot of light on this subject because most can understand that what a fisherman catches is going to be related to his bait.
Also, just sitting in the middle of a lake and expecting to have fish jump in your boat is probably not realistic though this is exactly what many people do!
How do you fish?
Women did not want to participate in a discussion about How to Get a Man??
For real?
Good lord. Then what keeps Cosmo Magazine in business all these years, I wonder?
Well, Bananas, I don’t think they liked my style. Matter of fact I am sure of it. It’s like everyone is playing in the sandbox and this is motherfuckin’ graduate school. When I say I studied something, I mean I STUDIED it and when you come up things that are not mainstream or PC, people get disturbed and if you disturb enough people they come get ya and burn you at the stake so really, it was not worth it to me. That damned Dr. Phil started the whole thing.
Anyway I am seeing if there is a way I might approach this. Out culture is all about being ineffectual these days. Our own president says he doesn’t like the word “victory”.
This is how far this movement has come and it makes it really hard on people like me who do like the word, victory and do like to be effective.
I’ve said it before but I like this guy:
“Rocky Marciano (September 1, 1923 – August 31, 1969), born Rocco Francis Marchegiano, was the heavyweight champion of the world from September 23, 1952, to April 27, 1956, when he retired as the only heavyweight champion in boxing history to retire having won every fight in his professional career.”(from wikipedia)
I think being undefeated is something to aspire to. I think working for what you want and getting it is a fast track to happiness.
Anyway, if you are not willing to bait your hook – do one damned thing to help yourself then I am not going to feel sorry for you when you are not successful. Why would I?
I am so game for this. I can’t wait…
I wonder too if some women block their own venus energy (or ignore/deny it) and then never learn how to use it.
I grew up with Venus, so this topic fascinates me.
Well you can thank me for that, Becca.
Got Saturn on my Libra planets, and I mean right ON them, from 2:51pm today till August. XD It’s gonna be great. Wish it had come sooner in my life. I was too young to make sense of it last time.
I think perhaps some women actively smush down their Venus, and some do so subconsciously, and some don’t know how to work it at all. Depends a lot on your upbringing, your attitudes, your self-confidence, your worldview, aspects between planets, and a plethora of reasons. I think learning to use your Venus is like learning any other life skill. You have to be conscious enough to know the difference and conscious enough to decide what you want and how to get it.
I’d be really curious to see what your methods are. I am in favor of anything that works to the positive, PCness be damned, as long as it doesn’t make me commit a felony. 🙂
And by the way, Cosmo is in the business of selling magazines and ads – nothing more.
That’s true- Cosmo is hardly a humanitarian service organization. More about pushing cosmetics and deodorant.
right on neva.
Cosmo is not going to help you get a man. It is simply not their motive. It will help you get a face lift though which of course… will not get you a man.
I really do hope Saturn in Libra helps people “settle.” The idea of settling has gotten such a bad rap as of late. And I don’t mean settling as in marrying an abusive alcoholic. I mean settling as in you ain’t perfect either, so relax.
From your mouth to God’s ear, user. 🙂
Go Elsa. I’m sick of sitting around waiting.
neva, also some people are hyper-aware of the consequences of misusing their attractiveness, so they dread their Venus.
Also they may not want to be percieved as a predator.
Yeah! Resurrect the Sexy Class. I’m in. I suspect you might have some great advice not only for those who don’t have a fella, but the ones who DO and want to keep him interested…
As those in the private forum know, I lived with a man for 4 years, very amicably, it is still not resolved… but the one thing I’d do over if I could is how to keep the sexual attraction high.
Maybe it was our charts – just not meant to keep things hot and heavy. But even with someone different, I know now that living with another person can seriously kill the romance/sex factor and I NEVER want that to happen again.
My current man is a sexy beast. He exudes sexual energy, but I don’t think he is aware of this, nor does he understand how to temper and control his vibe.
I think women in general captivate him and I want to stay on my game for this reason.
Seriously – bring the sexy class. I’m in.
PS: “And by the way, Cosmo is in the business of selling magazines and ads – nothing more.”
That’s true, and the dopey advice they dispense on how to please a man, what to say to a man, how to dress for a man, what sex moves to make on your man, is what keeps them selling magazines.
One thing to keep in mind is the importance of knowing exactly what YOU want. A long term monogamous relationship? A casual fling for sex? A companion to go places and do things with? A husband and father for your children?
With a Libra Sun, first house Venus & Scorp rising, attracting men was never a problem for me. But until I got my sh*t sorted out and quit unconsciously shooting myself in the foot, most of those relationships never lasted beyond a couple of years.
I remember a man telling me one time it was easy to find a sexual partner but good friends were much harder to find. He was a Taurus Sun with a ton of Gemini.
Oh, I am absolutely thrilled that you might take up this topic! You are a specialist and if you say you know something, then you know it. I can’t wait to hear your expertise.
I’ve no need to go fishing myself at the moment, but this should be interesting.
BTW, Sun is transiting on my Venus today, and Mars will be squaring it for the next 6 months or so. Definitely have to go and see what happened during the last square. But it was definitely during the 1994-1995 squares that I learnt how to fish. 😉
“I know now that living with another person can seriously kill the romance/sex factor and I NEVER want that to happen again”
Arggggh! Bananas this is something I think about, gee every single day?! Have you ever heard of the book “Mating in Captivity” ? I’m digressing here…
Elsa I think this is a fantastic idea and if you gave a class I would totally sign up. I grew up with 3 sisters and we are split down the middle in terms of our ‘fishing abilities’…from virgin to whore, we run the gamut.
User, I agree with you completely, maybe it’s growing up with a Libra Dad…”no one’s perfect, not even you”– YES.
I believe in setting the bar high in terms of personality, ethics, behaviour and chilling the fuck out on the bullshit like “does this man have hair on his back?”
my apologies for my potty-mouth today :o)
Ha! This is true about the urge for attractiveness. I’m in the last month of my sun-pluto transit and over this transit I have shorn all of my hair off (I had a lot) multiple times, stopped shopping, dressed like a bum, and generally just said “fuck it” to my appearance. My disposition is changing as of late and kind of freaking me out. I asked for a facial, new clothes, perfume, and lotion for christmas, and I usually ask for a techno-gadget or a book. Weirrrrd. But I like it :D.
(((elfxys)))
I wish I had known about astrology when I had my Sun-Pluto transit (I was an adolescent). It sure will be nice when it’s behind you and your Sun can shine again!
So, this basically boils down into a “dress up and learn how to flirt” class, correct? I will second the “I don’t know why anyone was offended by that,” because that is everywhere, not just Cosmo.
As for nibbles, I admittedly don’t get many probably for the same reason that Dorothy Parker did, but then again I haven’t liked any of the fish in my sea in 5 years, so I sure as hell don’t WANT to put out bait any of them. Too bad there isn’t a class to change my heart, because I would have settled in high school if I could have stomached it :P. But I don’t plan on trying to catch a man ever again anyway, so oh well.
Hm, wait, something else just occurred to me:
You can really only fish in the seas where people like your kind of fish. I don’t know if I’d blame that on a Venus or lack of flirting, just that you are only going to appeal to so many people no matter what you do.
Happy Saturn change, everyone! Good luck!
Elsa,
re: “I am a little smarter now and contemplating taking this topic up again but if I do, I will start slow and that is what this post represents. It’s a test.”
I’d love to see your perspective on this topic. I think your forthright approach would be useful.
i think maybe a lot of people don’t want to recognize hen they’re shooting themselves in the foot. to invested in how they see themselves.
i will say i’ve found a lot of the advice here really useful in fixing my head and focusing on what i actually want…
I like it. I would be game for this type of class, since I’ve always been pretty clueless on this topic.
I think there’s a certain resistance for people who believe that people should accept them just as they are, because perhaps they feel that actively “doing” something to attract a mate feels like they’re putting up some kind of front instead of letting their true self shine through. Or they feel like they’re hunting instead of being the one pursued in a relationship, and that somehow doesn’t feel right to them.
Personally, I’d like to see your take on the subject nowadays. 🙂
Every Saturn transit is an opportunity to set a challenge, work hard towards a precise goal and win. So right as Saturn goes into Libra (the core of my chart), I’m ready to learn some “fishing” tricks 🙂
I would love to learn how to bait, I think I have subconsciously repressed my Venus and my Scorpios planets or been following what carielle said.
Go Go Go! I’m for it.
I’m with Carrielle
And to Beth about “neva, also some people are hyper-aware of the consequences of misusing their attractiveness, so they dread their Venus.
Also they may not want to be percieved as a predator.”
Yeah, I have that problem.. kinda… I really don’t know how to keep my venus from getting me into trouble.. so I just keep if turned off unless I’m feeling risky, when that happens though people who actually know me are like, OMG? Who was that? Why don’t you act like that more?
Venus IN 1st conjunct Pluto in Scorpio…. the pluto and scorpio is too much power for me though. LOL!
Thanks kasmiri. Yeah it’s been a couple years of hell, but I prefer it over any heaven I could have supposed was there.
I think it would be fascinating to learn about the mating ritual aspects, like showing your neck, etc.
I’m not too into “fishing” myself, never have been, it’s just not my signature. I’m more of a lone wolf. BUT, it would be fascinating to learn about from someone who has lived in that arena for a long time…
“With Saturn in Virgo people learned to better communicate and now they will learn to attract…”
What a statement!!! Wow!! So true
I’m skimming this so if I missed something, sorry. It seems to me that Elsa is going to teach us/remind us how to work our mojo, whatever that mojo may be.
All the sex advice in Cosmo is written by gay men. I’m not kidding, EVERY ISSUE advertises “the Naughty Secret He Won’t Tell You He Really Wants”, pg 55…flip, flip flip… you get to page 55 and its “slip a finger in his butthole!”
How many men have you been with (not including the gay ones) have been pleased when you slip that finger in there? 2 percent, the answer is two percent.
If I followed sex advice from Cosmo I’d never get laid I swear.
On another note I remember a (perpetually disappointed) girl I went to school with:
“EW! You have armpit stubble! Don’t you, like, have a boyfriend?”
Guess what? If my dude has problem with armpit stubble, he’s probably a crappy lover AND an annoying boyfriend, so..!
Guess what? If my dude has problem with armpit stubble, he’s probably a crappy lover AND an annoying boyfriend, so..!
ROFLMAO!! Best lovers I had paid less than no attention to that sort of thing!!
I really need this advice Elsa – I am eager to read it – whatever it is, however many buttons it may push, or how away from mainstream it is. I love your blog!
🙂
Kash, will check that book out. Yeah. My man would come home on fragrant summer evenings, and I’d be wearing a skirt, hoping he’d slide his hand up there BUT HE NEVER DID.
From there it slowly disintegrated into Very Very Subtle Mutual Rejection.
Yeah. I want the class.
“I believe in setting the bar high in terms of personality, ethics, behaviour and chilling the fuck out on the bullshit like ‘does this man have hair on his back?'”
Can I get a hallelujah?! *^5*
I forgot how to fish, which is probably a good thing ’cause I don’t have the patience to fish anyway. I throw dynamite in the water and see what surfaces.
But it’s odd. I like to be persued, it just doesn’t happen and I’m fine with that most of the time. I’ve got Mars-Venus-Pluto, show me decent quarry and I will hunt, by damn! The rest of the time I just want to drop my handkerchief and ravish the man that picks it up. *shrugs* I gots a strange vibe, I think.
But, yes! More, more, more! I want to learn the wrist-turning secrets from the undisputable mistress! 😀
“All the sex advice in Cosmo is written by gay men. I’m not kidding, EVERY ISSUE advertises “the Naughty Secret He Won’t Tell You He Really Wants”, pg 55…flip, flip flip… you get to page 55 and its “slip a finger in his butthole!”
How many men have you been with (not including the gay ones) have been pleased when you slip that finger in there? 2 percent, the answer is two percent.”
Bwah, once back in the early days I tried the “male G-spot” trick. Boy, did THAT not go over well.
well, cosmo’s job is to make you feel like you’re never good enough so the advertisers can pretend to fix you… but they have o present an unattainable ideal so you’ll keep coming back to get “perfect” like some weird false (pointless) ideal
as opposed to do your best and be yourself..
I haven’t gone fishing in ages.
Last night I had a dream with a huge fish in it.
…Count me in!
My Venus in the 7th house and I was drawn to this post…hoping to get a sense of Saturn in Libra’s strengths and challenges.
I’m leaving disappointed that you would make the post political to make your point. Context is really important. “Our own president” said he doesn’t like the word “victory” in terms of using it preemptively because it leads to FALSE feelings of victory when there is no victory.
I know these responses above are ancient, but I just LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the one about “I don’t have the patience to fish, I just throw some dynamite in the water & see what surfaces”. I busted out laughing and said “yep, that sounds me, goddess help me!”