Dear Elsa,
To get right to the point, I am completely consumed with worry.
This have been going on since I was a kid. And when I say that worry consumes me, I mean just that; it literally eats me alive. Monday, I’m convinced I am having a heart attack; Tuesday, I have AIDS; Wednesday, my husband is ten minutes late and MUST be dead in a ditch; Thursday, I am convinced my daughter’s twitches in her sleep are some kind of epileptic disorder; Friday, I am terrified I will get a call my mother has killed herself in an accident, Saturday, I’m sure my son is acquiring an anxiety problem of his own because he was nervous about something and it is my fault; Sunday, I am convinced my husband will leave me because I have gained so much weight, not to mention that I’m insane.
And in the hours in between the days, I worry about everything: from the detergent I use to the war in Iraq. I am just completely ridiculous with it. To the point where I experience panic attacks, which if you have ever had one, are terrifying experiences. (They feel like heart attacks.)
Sorry for the lengthy examples, I just wanted to clarify what this worry does—it kills me. It steals every happy moment away. It takes away my drive, my ambition, my sense of adventure, my ability to relax, my ability to have fun. I’m aware of it, and I cannot seem to stop it, nor control it.
I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety/Panic Disorder, but I do not have the money to see anyone professionally. I do not foresee any money coming into my future anytime soon; we have been having a rough go of it, as a young family.
All of this isn’t fair to my husband, who is supportive, loving, and strong. It isn’t fair to my bright and beautiful kids, in a myriad of ways. Is there any advice you can offer, as someone objective? Is there anything my chart signifies as a trigger? Anywhere I should start digging for my answers until I am able to get help? Any advice is GREATLY and sincerely appreciated.
Worried to Death
Dear Worried,
You are not “crazy”. You have a mental illness like any other illness and further it happens to be utterly and completely treatable. I appreciate your financial situation, however you are ill and absolutely must seek treatment. I doubt it needs to be long term.
What you are describing can be easily and effectively treated with medication that will alleviate if not eliminate your symptoms and many of the meditations available to treat this sort of thing are affordable. With proper treatment, you can have a completely different life and without it, you are going to be screwed; so what do you think you’d better do about this?
Your best option is to see a psychiatrist and if you have to get on some long waiting list to see someone cheaply, then o it. Or see a family doctor, or go to a clinic… do whatever you have to do to take care of your health because this is what this is. You have a medical condition!!
And Saturn (take responsibility) is transiting your 6th house (health), so you get the picture. Saturn transits always pressure us to clutch it up and solve our problems, so make the call, okay? You and your family deserve it and the universe will always support the right action.
Much love and good luck.
Dear Worried, Please listen to Elsa – she is spot on with her advice! I have been living with a husband who was in denial of exactly the same syptoms (and worse) for over a year. He kept saying he was “in a funk” and would soon get out on his own! His Panic Attacks landed him in the ER. He now agrees he has an illness and we are trying to treat it. At least you are several steps ahead of him and understand what you are feeling/experiencing is not right!
My husband still searches for answers ‘out side’, or should I say ‘blame’. To the extent we are moving house is the latest demand (again – we only moved here last year) as he thinks it is the house/area/environment he lives in!
So please please seek help, for your sake and your family. You all deserve better.
Lyn
I have wrestled with anxiety, so wanted to share several books which have been greatly helpful for me:
An overview of the potential remedies (and their effectiveness) for various mental illnesses: “What You Can Change . . . and What You Can’t”:
http://www.amazon.com/What-You-Change-Cant-Self-Improvement/dp/1400078407/sr=8-1/qid=1167399562/ref=sr_1_1/002-4667055-8880030?ie=UTF8&s=books
The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook:
http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Fourth/dp/1572244135/sr=8-2/qid=1167399481/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/002-4667055-8880030?ie=UTF8&s=books
This is what worked for me:
* Get into better shape – it has a huge impact on Anxiety. Lots of people don’t realize that while Anxiety is a mental illness, it has a strong physical component. I found getting into shape and working out had a big impact on my anxiety.
* Start doing relaxation techniques from the Workbook – I *highly* recommend autogenics:
http://www.guidetopsychology.com/autogen.htm
* Look into Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – it can change your life!!
* Consider medication. I didn’t go down this path, since the other things I tried helped so much. But your case sounds more intense, so I would highly recommend Elsa’s advice to find a free clinic or something.
Good luck!!!
Dear Worried,
I agree that you should get any help you can. I’ve had anxiety attacks/phobias/generalized anxiety since I was born. I was literally doing the things you talk about at age 2. It’s something (we all have some kind of struggles) that you have to stay on top of and yes, I agree that the physical component is important. When I am healthier and get more sleep, eat better, take care of myself, I feel better. When I have emotional support, I feel better. You mentioned you are overweight. The sense I got from your note is that you felt out of control with various things, but what I know about anxiety is that the things may seem like they originate from outside of you (things that trigger your anxiety), but really it’s the reverse. The things going on are internal played out in the world, latching onto whatever free-floating thing they can project the worry onto. I know what you mean by having a loving family but still feeling out of control. It is hard to say exactly where your anxieties stem from (It is very unique to the person), but I do recognize some symptoms of self-deprecation and low self-image in your note, in my opinion, compounds the anxiety. I could go on and on, but in short, it’s key to discover a root or roots to your anxiety (however strange) and then stay firmly on top of taking good care of yourself (which includes the counseling, the good self-talk, the good diet/exercise, a network of friends, a stress release, etc). It’s really the same things everyone needs, but it’s even more crucial that you make sure you get the things you need to feel safe/better. Once you get these tools and deal with the anxiety more consciously, it isn’t as scary. You can do something about it and you can feel better and start to enjoy life more. As my husband reminds me “You’re not your anxiety.”
This is one thing I feel like I know about anyway!
Hugs,
H
I work in the medical field and I just want to pipe up with the fact that there are a lot of programs to help you, and there are a lot of providers that will take payments…please, PLEASE don’t let money be the reason you don’t seek help.
Dear Worried to Death. Let me to explain in my poor english how you could deal with that problem. First: you have the most important thing: you are knowing that you have a problem, that is a 95%of your solution. Second, anxiety disorders have very good pronostic: You could to access a local support group, look in the news or internet support groups or forums. Because your problem is very treatable if you concede that you have a problem. Talk with a support group – look for your sources of stress. Try to fix it (burn outs, bad relationships with parents and so on).
The most important thing: Remember a song of ELton Jhon: “release, relax, let go…lets recover your soul”, remember there are plenty of things you can not control. To Accept the losses is a lesson to learn to release your soul and recover yourself of pain and anxiety.
My very wish of health and happy live for you and everyone of this blog.
Hello— i used to get anxious all the time (a virgo thing). I think you should try yoga. In yoga your mind is occupied with concentrated body movement. You dont have to spend alot of money. You can buy a tape or go to your local college or community center. This is a good time to start. Good Luck
my daughter has dealt with panic attacks, and i know how horrendous they can feel. she was able to talk to the doc, take an inexpensive antidepressent, learn about coping from a family friend who has struggled with them herself, and they went away. she doesn’t even have to have the medication anymore.
anxiety is one of the most treatable (and common) mental illnesses there is. it’s #2 after depression (and closely related).
look for your local community mental health center, who will treat you even if you can’t pay. if you can’t find one, try calling the local crisis line for info, or even the local health department, who can get you started.
you don’t have to live in pain. not only do you deserve better, but your family does, too.
good luck, hon. go out there and take care of yoruself already!
In the worst of an anxiety-ridden crisei, you use THE most creative patch in the garden that is your soul. For some, art preserves sanity.
You are a creative soul, and I wish you light on your path.
Tell the poeple around you, “Don’t warry, ba easy and happy!”
I too was diagnosed with panic disorder. One of the things that helped me most was working with flower essences. Rescue Remedy is great for calming acute panic attacks! And maybe you can try others to get to the root of your anxieties. Best of luck to you!
Hi!
I have experienced anxiety myself, so you are not alone. I have also had times where I did not have health insurance.
I would recommend you research free clinics in your community. We have them where I live and there were certain evenings that you could come in and see a doctor free of charge and also get meds for free.
This is chemical and you can do things on your own possibly to improve it, but it REALLY sounds like you won’t get any strongly positive results that will stick until you get some medication that will work with your brain chemistry to correct the situation!
Do it! My doctor has prescribed Ativan for me to take as needed. My panic attacks are such that a bottle of 30 pills could last six months, but the Ativan REALLY helps!! And I mean, it is BEAUTIFUL!!
There is help out there, hon. Go get it!! You do not deserve to suffer!!
Sorry for all the exclaimation points, but seriously, work on this and continue to let us all know what we can do to help, ok??
Hang in there.
Lucy
I think going to any allopathic practitioner is a HUGE mistake here. Drugs NEVER solve the problems , only cover it up only to make it worse down the road in some way.
Most times diet and nutrition are a large contributing factor to our emotions. I notice in myself if I completely stay away from any sugar, soda, coffee, BREAD!!! and anything prepackages or Non organic I am soooooo very much more balanced and happy.
Our foods are for the most part lacking nutrients because of depleted soils or are sprayed with chemicals, are GMO (not food anymore at all)or full of anti-biotics. When we eat these “foods” our bodies react in bad ways. Pay attention and try good clean sspring water, organic produce and organic meat if you are not vegetarian. Do this for a month and then try the “junk” again. You will notice a HUGE difference in how you feel. And hopefully you will never go back to the junk.
Eat lots of veges, some fruits, only whole grains and NO BREAD, and small amounts of protein, preferably very little if any meat and your attitude will be great you will have tons of energy and be the envy of all who surround you!
Many people mistake medication for a solution to the problems at hand. In reality, medication should be viewed (in the healthiest terms) as the grease to a stalled machine — it won’t solve your problems, by any means, but it might help you get started.
And I’m sorry. I love bread. Bread might depress you, but heck, a wonderful piece of toast is going to make me very happy.