Scorpio’s Capricorn Lover Has Withdrawn: “Lesbian Bed Death” or No?

Hi, Elsa —

I’ve noticed when people write in with problems involving a partner withholding sex (or with a lesser sex drive than the questioner), you often caution that it’s unlikely this situation will change. (Like with your answer to the Rejected Capricorn) This gulf will only widen, you’ve said in so many words on more than one occasion. I would so love to believe that this is not always the case!

I’m experiencing a similar problem in a relationship with a Capricorn. Up until about 6 months ago, we had a very open, active, amazing, and transcendent sex life. Now we are physically close, but she says she is feeling completely not sexual in general and feels pressured and shuts down if I bring up the subject. She says it’s just something she’s going through, that it’s not related to me (though she acknowledges that it affects me and must be difficult), and to just love her through it. That’s what I’m trying to do.

Just wondering: are there particular transits that create obstacles for relating sexually? Such as a Saturn transit to the eighth house, which I think she’s having. What’s the best way to love someone through that transit? Or maybe we’re just a textbook case of “Lesbian bed death”?! How can you tell whether it’s best to stay on board and cross that gulf, or if it’s just time to jump ship and let them sail on?

Seaworthy Scorpio

Dear Scorpio,

Great question. And if it were me in your situation, I would hang. The difference with the scenario you paint and the others I have addressed is this: your partner is still communicating with you. She is still being intimate with you even if she is not putting out! So although you are starving, you’re not really starving. She is still giving you something real and chances are if you can hang through this you will be closer than ever.

And hell yes, these things can be situational. And provoked by a transit although the transit is not to blame, obviously. Yes, a Saturn transit through the 8th house (sex) can thwart sex but it’s not the transit. It’s not the planets but the real life thing she is going through. Something ouchy, no doubt.

So no. I don’t think it’s this previously unbeknownst to me malady, “Lesbian Bed Death” you’re dealing with. ::smiles:: On the contrary, it sounds to me as if your relationship is deep and going deeper and I would advise you facilitate this. How?

Like a Scorpio, obviously. Probe. Not her body at the moment, but her psyche and her soul. Get in there and find out what’s blocking her and when you suss out the problem, heal it for her why don’t you? You can do this and if you do, it’s good all the way around. Good for you, good for her, good for the world.

Good luck.