Severing Your Own LifeLine?

I just finished with a client, she was smart. She’s having trouble in her relationship. She wanted an outside opinion.

I told her I saw a lot of compatibility between the charts, in spite the current struggles this couple was having. She asked me for specifics, thinking it might help.

I thought it might help too. It took me two minutes to make a list. Here is is:

“…I really like his Cancer with your Pisces.

You also have a packed 10th / he has Cancer. There is a parent/child dynamic between you. You slide back and forth as to who is parenting who, but without this commonality, you would not be together.

You both have Sadge risings. You’re traveling together….like two wild horses, running together.

Virgo and Cancer are a famous match.

I like his Aries answering your Scorpio. You get the idea. There’s a lot here. He would be hard to replace and vice versa.

It’s that last part, I hope you’ll note. There is a rash of people 86’ing people from their lives at this time. If they’re not out and out hacking the person to death on an impulse, they’re subtly or covertly or passive aggressively damaging their connections.

It makes me think of gas line with a kink in it. Careful choking off that which may actually be your lifeline, or one of them.

It’s best to stay flexible in your relationships with others, if at all possible. It’s like putting a bunch of money into an account over a period of time. Then you get mad; withdraw it and burn it in a pile on the steps of the building.

Stupid, huh?

Who can relate?

21 thoughts on “Severing Your Own LifeLine?”

  1. I hear you, but sometimes our connections, our life-lines are so polluted they harm us more than they help and when you decide to cut your life-line then, you know it’s bad.

    1. If it’s bad like that, I doubt it’s a lifeline in the first place.

      I am talking about reactive hacking. Hacking when triggered, basically.
      Throwing babies out with the bathwater. Taking your rage out on someone just because they’re handy.

      Deep down, you probably know you’re off. It’s just easier to attack then it is to do a self-exam.

  2. Avatar

    Sometimes the best thing you can do to preserve a connection is temporarily sever it. Take a break before you take a swing.

    1. Agree! Well put. I have a story about this.

      Once I had a friend, she was a really good friend. But she pissed me off once, horribly. I was so mad. I got over that, but then a year later she pissed me off again, same way for the same reason. This time, I had steam pouring from both ears.

      I told her I did not want to deal with her anymore. I just had to get away. I would not explain. It’s not nice but seriously, I did not trust myself to be able to moderate myself. I was SO pissed. And I just didn’t think it would help, anyway, for two reasons.

      First, no one reacts well to being pummeled or beaten with a pipe – I was that pissed.
      But also, I knew her to be blind to this particular thing and she had many many people who would reassure her that she was right and I was the shadow. So why bother.

      I told her, “Look. I just cannot deal with this at this time, I’m sorry.” She pled with me but I was just too infuriated. If I am going to be that upset by a person…well, it’s just not healthy.

      Three years passed, before we got back in contact. We’re friends again. That’s how long it took.

      But speaking truly, this woman is not someone who can be replaced with someone else or ten other someone else’s. I know I’m the same.

      I’m glad I didn’t go off on her.

      Well I did go off on her, but I kept my &%*$$ mouth shut at least. And in doing so, the door was left open.

      1. Avatar

        I’m curious. What were the redeeming qualities in your friend that made it worth it to you to hold back?

        1. She’s a great person. She’s giving, funny, she listens, she’s insightful, she’s hard-working, she’s optimistic, and she’s supportive. She’s trustworthy and she’s also the kind who shows up and stays when a person is on their deathbed.

          Rare as hen’s teeth, right? Best not to hit her with a bat!

  3. Definitely can relate. This is a life lesson I’m still working through. Didn’t have a stable childhood or family of origin so I got used to hacking away at all my relationships and severing ties. Unrealistic expectations of human perfection (Venus-Neptune opposition) along with pride (Leo/Jupiter rising) were the two biggest factors in that. Maturity has helped me stay put in situations I would’ve long ago burned down. I’ve forgiven and allowed certain people back into my life. Glad I did because those relationships are really my lifeline. ?

  4. No way man. I might get irritated with my lifeline but I don’t rashly do anything, especially if it supports my survival.

    Now sometimes the energy I get from a source is not enough to balance the loss in whatever (usually respect). Then there is a period of evaluation where I stop giving a shit and see what happens.

    Usually what I find is that I was actually supporting them more than I even realized and I was THEIR lifeline.

  5. Taurus Sun. I don’t cut someone out unless I’m really done. I give the person and situation time and wiggle room, lots of it and loads of patience. But, when I’m done, I’m done forever basically.

  6. Avatar

    Yes. I have been excised and I have had to amputate. It sucks and then some.

    I’m Facebook speak , i call it a “Frenema”. Purging the friends. I have lost or been severed from a couple of people who were not …..vital.

  7. I wish I had known about the hacking off before Venus went retrograde. I definately hacked off a relationship with someone because I was reacting to being uncomfortable with not knowing what the relationship was or what his intentions were.

  8. anonymoushermit

    When I was more young, and immature, my Venus in Aquarius, and Libra stellium, would ice people out. I was still insecure with my sexuality and I unconsciously, and sometimes, not so unconsciously, took it out on other people, by icing them out. Let’s just say that that really sunk some of my ‘flotation devices’ for survival. I went through years without any friends, it hurt, but I was responsible for it, mostly.

    I had to reflect and see why I was so cold and snotty towards people. I reflected for months, and my moment came when I realized that my insecurities really hurt other people. How would I like it if I were iced out? I wouldn’t like it much. I had to accept that I have lost some friends, through my own fault, and move on.

  9. I did this, and I wish I hadn’t. But the person in question lashed out with such mean garbage I can’t pretend it didn’t happen. I was critical, even harsh, but I didn’t go into the gutter or turn things I know they’re sensitive about into wounding comments. I don’t see how any of it can be taken back or smoothed over. Sometimes my Spidey sense tells me someone is taking a negative turn and I may overreact and I’m usually right. Or do I force an issue unnecessarily? I don’t know but I’m regretting so much people I opened up to and it all turned to dust.

  10. ‘It’s best to stay flexible in your relationships with others, if at all possible. It’s like putting a bunch of money into an account over a period of time. Then you get mad; withdraw it and burn it in a pile on the steps of the building.’

    This paragraph is priceless! What a strong image.

    I have uranus rising, opposite descendant, and venus in aquarius, and lots of pluto/scorpio stuff so I am keeping this quote of yours, Elsa, for future times.



  11. I feel like lifelines (for me) are life-giving relationships to begin with. I have a hard time keeping people around who drain me, are critical and unsupportive, want me to be different or less myself…. but for people who are “awake” and accountable and loyal and kind and self-aware and can do give and take..that’s gold to me. And I will definitely give them room to be imperfect. I can’t keep people around just to have them around.

  12. Maybe but some relationships are being exposed right now particularly if you have made a change in how you relate. There’s a reality check going on for some of us. Ways of relating that no longer serve all judgment aside.

    1. Thanks for that insight ann, that resonates for me. I’ve transformed some things in my life recently and can’t force myself back into old ways and types of communication that don’t fit anymore.

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