Sex Creeps Into Conversation – Mars in Gemini

Today, Venus (women) and Mars (men) are in opposition. A pal called me up…

“You love men, Elsa” he said.

“Yes I do.”

“But you love women too.”

“Uh huh, I do.”

“But I think you love men more, at least if your body is involved.”

I let out one of those chuckles that end in snort. “I do like both men and women. I just don’t like women with a jacked up Mars. I don’t like how some women act. If you’d get that knife out of my back we’d be fine.”

He laughed.

“Yeah. Stab me in the front why don’t you? A man usually will. A man is more apt to come at you directly which I prefer.”

“That’s a sexual reference,” he said.


“Stab me in the front and all that…”

I laughed long and hard. (No sexual reference intended here either, this stuff just escapes.)

Do you have a preference for one of the sexes? Which one and where is your Venus?

47 thoughts on “Sex Creeps Into Conversation – Mars in Gemini”

  1. I’ll say I prefer men to women because women can be vicious little bitches and the drama they can create kills me. I asked one of my girlfriends the other day what she saw in her current man and she flipped out, thinking I meant there was nothing good about him and that she was a fool for being with him. Three days later she STILL is asking me what I meant! That drives me crazy! A man would not do that!

    Nevertheless, I don’t have many male friends because I simply cannot see a man as only a friend and those relationships are just so awkward. Venus in the 7th in Pisces, obvs.

  2. Women. Strong women. They empower me.

    I have Venus in Scorpio, in the 5th house and Venus Conjunct Pluto as well as trine ascendant.

  3. I like both men & women for friends though I prefer very up front women. Venus in Sagittarius in the 1st. Mind games from either sex irritate the crap out of me . . . 🙂

  4. I am married to a man (duh), but I relate most to women. I never have understood those types that say they can’t get along w/ other females, it always boggled my mind because I find relationships with women come very easy to me and are very fullfilling. But that’s just me and I have to understand that some gals just get along better with guys. In fact, I do wish that I could find more in common with men than I do. Pre-marriage I always had just a small handful of guy friends. I lost many of them due to incidents of them trying to put the moves on me. It was always very hard to have a guy friend and keep it just platonic (well, on their part). I think after a while I just decided friendships with guys just don’t really work out that well for me. I have tons of female friends, always have, and many of them have been with me for a loooong time. I love women, I think we should all stick together and support eachother more often. My hubby is definitely a man’s man, but our relationship is based on friendship and it feels as good and open as the relationships I have with my close girlfriends.
    Venus in Virgo in the 11th house. Makes total sense.

  5. Neith, I’m the complete opposite. I can’t imagine my life without mind games, it’s not that I necessarily like them, I just attract them and I’m used to them.

  6. There’s a few women I get along with,
    but for the most I just relate better to men…for the most part they are a lot less emotional & sentimental. Hey I’m an Aquarius, that’s important!

  7. Both. Mars/Aries conjunction in Aries. I’ve seen bitchy mind games from both genders, and I don’t really like getting too close to anyone who claims to dislike either gender (must be my Libra). I try very hard to be objective..

    I’ve been very offended in the past by having another women say to me (without knowing me) “I don’t like women, they’re bitches.”
    Welcome to your self-fulfilled prophecy!

  8. I like both. Venus in Leo. But I have to say that women have hurt me more than men have. Women always, always go for the low blow in an argument. They know where you are weak, and they have no qualms about hitting you there.

  9. Back and forth. It depends on whose energy I need to balance me out. (Venus in Scorp fourth house, Moon/Mars in Libra.)

    By the way, quite a few of my good friends have Venus in Scorpio, and we LOVE to talk about sex, no-holds-barred. A funny quote from a Sag Sun girlfriend with Venus in Scorp: (nonchalantly) “Why won’t guys be my sex slave, Shaina? What’s so hard about that?”

  10. I’ve enjoyed talking about sex since I was 9 and read Are You There God it’s me Margaret.
    I read it in my grade 3 reading period, as Judy Blume was banned in our house.

  11. Libra Venus and Scorp Sun in the 2nd house. I prefer men, though I do not believe at all that women are bitchy/backstabbing. I can count on men, talk freely, joke, and flirt. I’ve been reading about my chart and it doesn’t surprise me now that historically my self-esteem is tied to appealing to men. I know, how sad and anti-feminist! But whatever, knowledge is power and all that. As Elsa says, it’s neutral energy until it’s directed.

  12. I try very hard not to bring gender into who I relate to. However, my closest relationships have always been with men (lovers), and my most enduring friendships have also been with men.

    For someone with Jupiter in the 11th house, I sure haven’t had a lot of friends. I am, however, incapable of having shallow friendships.

    There were two Scorpio women that I loved to talk with (and we’d always end up talking about deeply personal issues), but I’ve never met a woman I could just run around with and who could match me on other levels. I would dearly love to meet that woman.

  13. Nope, no preference; actually, I prefer BOTH in equal measures. I usually have at least one close female friend AND one close male friend at any given time. The men are great for shooting the crap about sports, politics, science, and abstract reasoning (and I really dig on these subjects!), as well as concrete advice and general conversations to stimulate the mind; the women are better for interpersonal musings, as well as relating a bit better from an emotional perspective, plus there are certain cultural factors about being a woman that a man just doesn’t *get* and thus can’t quite understand life from that point of view.

    My Venus, which rules my Taurean 11th house, is located in Gemini, in my 12th house. Yes, my friendships are usually solid & down to earth; and it also makes much sense that I’d prefer a stable of buddies who I can be both mental AND emotional with. 😀

  14. Do you have a preference for one of the sexes?

    I like the good sexes and I dislike the bad sexes.

    Which one and where is your Venus?

    Hidden away in the 12th.

    [‘I find the whole idea of preferring one to the other as slightly weird.’]

  15. For companionship I prefer women, except for my partner. But then, my partner has a healthy dose of female energy to him. He’s very masculine in a lot of ways, but with a sensitive, artistic nature.

    I have to admit though, before I had my first child, I preferred the company of men. It’s as though pregnancy and childbirth and then child-rearing triggered something that had been dormant.

  16. Venus in Leo in first house…I like both men and women as long as they are straightforward and on the same wavelength.

  17. Venus conjunct Mars in Cancer in first house (both trine Saturn)
    Sun conjunct Moon in Leo. Lots of shared male/female energy integration there. I have partnered with women for 20 years. (Ceres in 7th house) but get along well with men and feel comfortable with them as friends.

  18. I like both too, it really depends on the person. I like to banter with men cos i’m good at it and so are they and its all good fun and on your way. But i also like the deep belly laughs or despairing i have with girlfriends over life and stuff. I did hang out more with men more in my teens cos i found women harder to get to know and i just wasnt very girly and teen girls can be needy which i couldnt deal with at the time. I think i was a bit scared of women in my youth and just found men easier to talk to. Venus in aries trine mars.

  19. My good friends have always been women. I relate it all to the parents: my mother and I had an intense connection and my father was more distant. I don’t like games though and prefer my friendships simple, deep, and drama-free.

    Men confuse me. Not sure I understand them and even fear them a little (because I don’t understand them perhaps).

    I have Venus in Leo in the 12th, with squares to Neptune and Saturn. Also Venus sextiling Jupiter.

  20. Piya,
    I hear you about wanting to meet a woman you can run around with/discuss things with. It’s easy for me to meet men, tough for me to make friends with women. I can ask out any man, but how do you ask out a woman? Seriously, I would appreciate any advice. I have Saturn transiting my 11th house, and it’s made me realize I need more friends!

  21. Many truths in that post! Female friendships take a lot out of you. I have very few female friends and choose them wisely. The ones I end up being friends with are very close, friends for life! But not before an extensive interview/feeling out process held by both parties. If some girl just wants go to shopping with me and chat about insignificant superfluities, I don’t have time for that. I tend to get along best with women who also tend to be weary of women and have few female friends. That’s my profile when seeking really good girlfriends: women who are weary of the games women play, too.

  22. I love men and women equally, but they have to have something going on upstairs, and a good sense of humor is a must. I used to hang out almost exclusively with gay men, which blended a man’s straightforwardness with a woman’s sensibility. You know what I mean?

    But after a while, I outgrew the trademark bitchiness (it’s okay in small doses, but not a steady diet) and expanded to befriending the straights. I think the key to letting women in my life was dealing with some old mother issues. And becoming a mother myself. Venus conjunct North Node in Taurus, 2nd house.

  23. The only good relationships I’ve had with women are those that are older than me. I have no idea why. I can’t relate to women my age.

    The ones around me SEEM catty, superficial, and hung up on nonsense.

    Men are easier to deal with. I’ve had quite a few close male friends, even though my husband likes to throw “When Harry Met Sally” (Men and women can’t be friends because sex always gets in the way) at me. Nonsense, I say.

    I have a lot of fire emphasis and no water in my chart…that probably explains why I feel this way.

  24. Generally, I prefer the company of women. The men whose company I do enjoy tend to be older, wiser sages. For the most part, I do not enjoy the company of younger men. All that jocularity and trying to prove oneself and impress others, the strong egos which often prove so fragile on closer inspection. On the otherhand, [Venus in Libra], I am occasionally inspired by younger men when they seem to be mature and intelligent and not bent on bashing their heads up against various walls and learning everything the hard way.

    This preference for the company of females does make for fewer close and lasting friendships. Out of loyalty to my wife of twenty-six years, who is after all my very best friend, I do not meet with my female friends for lunch very often. I have successfully introduced some of my female friends to my wife. It is usually easier if they are also married. In the end some of my female friends, become part of a mutual admiration society with little hope of the friendship growing and evolving beyond this chrysalis stage.

  25. Randamandar that’s a very interesting point–many people in relationships find it confounding on how to incorporate friendships into their lives. It’s easier to do in some relationships than others, especially if you’re concerned about hurting the feelings of someone you love so much.

  26. I like androgynous people — butchier women and gentle men. I’ve got Venus in Aquarius square Uranus. I like people who transcend gender.

    1. Same for me, actually… I get along with gentle males and empowered ballsy women. I myself hardly feel like a woman most of the time. Venus/Neptune, Mars in Aries opp. Moon.

  27. Cancer Venus in the 6th. I like both men and women, sometimes some more than others. I often think myself into a hole about either sex or men or women I know and get bored with them. Then I remember that I am not friends with enough men or women to be bored or jaded with them. I can think myself into being bored of many things. I have to confess that cattiness freaks me out, the kind that gay men are stereotyped to have particularly on television. I’ve lost contact with some of my close gay friends and am worried that all of this tv is affecting the way I perceive them.

  28. Incorporating friendships into our busy lives! Has anyone read ‘Surfers of the Zuvuya’ by Jose Arguelles. He is an academic who was one of the architects of the harmonic convergance event. When his son died in a car crash he took some time some off and wrote this wonderful fictional piece.

    I feel like I am ‘riding the wave’ And while I am enjoying the ride in the moment, I am also looking forward to landing on the beach. While I am surfing I am mindful that it takes every ounce of my focus, which is also about steering myself towards a soft landing on the sandy part of the beach and avoiding the rocks.

    The beach offers the allure of more time for friendships and time for the many other things I would like to do and learn about.

    Just think of all the friends you haven’t met yet!

  29. Randamandar, thank you for such a thoughtful idea and the recommendation for a book as well. It sounds great.
    You’ve also just put into words the despair I feel when people talk about how much they dislike or are afraid of people they don’t know.
    Just think is true. Enjoy your Sunday!

  30. men. women confuse me. men are a lot more direct.
    most of my women friends tend to be abnormally blunt women 😉

  31. meh, i like both, but sparingly. the males tend to be very deadpan smart semi-schizoids who i can be snarky with & talk about life and the women are either very strong women that can tell it to me straight and never go behind my back, or they’re just kind of airy acquaintances that i keep around for going out. this miiiight make me sound like an asshole, but it’s true! venus in cancer in the 12th house.

  32. I prefer women. Venus conjunct Moon Gemini, 10th house. I would love to have more male friends but they usually have an ulterior motive with me. I’ve had to end many of those friendships on account of hurt feelings.. ?

  33. I prefer women. I’ve had very few problems with women. The ones I’ve had problems with have problems with most women.
    I don’t dislike men as a rule. I just like men that don’t need me to stroke their ego. I know they are just looking for my approval but I don’t like how it manifests and it’s not a dynamic I enjoy. I don’t like it when men try to “impress” me. I know it’s supposed to be like a compliment or something that men vie for my attention in this way but it can be really uncomfortable for me because i can’t act impressed if I’m not. And I never am when they do that kind of thing. The men I am attracted to are humble. Humility is impressive to me. It’s just kind of rare right now in men.

  34. If my body is concerned, I prefer men. But I enjoy women much more. I feel nuance and the depth of complex “superficiality” is appreciated… if that even makes sense haha.
    Venus in Libra, in the 3rd.

  35. Avatar

    Mars in Pisces in the 1st. I enjoy male and female company but for me the sexual charge of being around even platonic male friends is energizing and satisfying in a way being around my women friends never is.

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