The Road You Chose

houdini rope tiesI was watching a program where a gal in her mid-twenties said she chose a path for her life that she thought would allow her to escape an oppressive boss. It didn’t get  her very far. The implication was that she’d have been better off had she put up with the difficulty she tried to escape. This is be because she had to go back and work under someone else… but now she was in debt.

That’s it. That was the commentary, but it got me thinking about the various roads I’ve chosen. I’ve taken the easy way, the stupid way, the harder way, but overall, I spent decades, side-stepping potentially oppressive situations. I was regular, Houdini, with this.  There was no way I was going to get caught!  But then what happened?

I thought I needed to do something different, if I wanted to learn something new.  So when I was presented with the opportunity to enter a hardcore marriage, I took.

I have Uranus in my 7th house, a Venus square Neptune, as well as a very strong Jupiter signature.  Anyway you turn it, I’m a flight risk, but I made this choice with a clear understanding, I was going to have one hell of a time.  I knew this because my husband told me. I verified it using astrology and in fact, I discussed it on this blog. So why would I do that?  Was a lapse of judgement?

It was not a lapse of judgement. I don’t know that this is true for everyone, which is why I am posting this. Some people like to rub up against a hard edge.  They like a challenge and they like to press against resistance, akin to lifting weights, in order to tone themselves in some way. I decided I wanted to become more fully engaged and grapple with life.

How do you feel about the road you chose? Is it easy? Medium? Hard? Variable? Can a person make good choices, avoid hardship and still develop character?

13 thoughts on “The Road You Chose”

  1. All good questions for me at this time.
    No Regrets ! I am who I am ! and why am I this way? Lots of reasons I have noticed that I like that get up and go I like the adventure I like the challenge I don’t think anything I’ve done was easy !doable hell yeah ,big question ?what direction am I going now ?for what reason ?what do I need ?need income ,need accomplishments ,need for my ego ?Or just because I like to count up each day ?every day
    Has a cost. Now can I do with less I think so ,I decided the other day I’ll never eat two eggs again ,one will do the trick.

  2. Have never chosen the easy path. No regrets. Low boredom threshold and always need a challenge. Cannot imagine an easy, uneventful, comfortable life. Death will come soon enough.

  3. I didn’t marry and l knew when l was 11 yrs that l wouldn’t…l literally
    couldn’t imagine it and l have a good imagination.
    Never wanted children.
    No regrets.
    I have learnt this thing called ‘The secrets of the marriage’ l know married people. Some marriage are volitile but there is something strong and healthy that holds it all together, others look good on the surface but…
    I stuck to what felt was right for me.
    My choices my responsibility.
    Makes all the difference.

  4. I resonate strongly with this Elsa, Jupiter conjunct Uranus in the 7th, Venus Saturn conjunct are my square moon mars opposition.
    Not saying I love the challenges relationship brings, but I seem to need someone to rub up against.
    I’m in my late 60’s now, and after 15 years on my own & recovering from a chaotic marriage, I’ve bitten off a new challenge.
    Moved to the country to rehabilitate a previously neglected bush block, with a new partner. Cleaning bricks, clearing scrub, carrying firewood, planting trees, etc, is the easy part.
    Being with a decent man who loves me thoroughly, and isn’t dysfunctional, is the hard part because I tend to want to fall into co dependency, games or old drama.
    I often reflect on how different this love is to the giddy, drunk like losing myself feelings used to like. Part of me knew I needed to embody my strength, and mature.
    Some of my single women friends kind look down their noses at me entering a new relationship, there can be a sort of prejudiced of ‘why do you need a man?’ feminism in some boomers…. And it might have seemed like a safe option to stay in a tidy neat life, but it felt like waiting for decrepitude. I feel blessed to be incarnated, and want to max out as much as possible. I reckon if I squib and avoid, fate will come after me in another way anyways, this way I have agency.
    I have Moon Pluto and a lots of Scorpio, so there’s that.

  5. @Elsa: “Flight risk” Ha! Perfect descriptor for Uranus in 7th. (I’ve got it and know it well)

    @Jeanie: Moon Pluto definitely complicates all that freedom stuff (I have that one too) but the Venus Saturn says solid love. Or love later in life.

    “blessed to be incarnated” ❤️

    1. @aspire, re Uranus in the 7th: when I was young it expressed itself erratically, now it seems to be revealing core, but nuanced differences , that help define and clarify identity.
      Uranus keeps things interesting, which is important for this placement.

  6. Wow! This resonates with me for sure. I feel the same way about myself and my marriage has a similar quality. I like to say, “I like ’em a little complicated.”
    Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’ve evolved over the course of the marriage and yes, emotionally toned.

    You’re very right about everything you said.

    1. Finding and hanging onto self, and making room for growth to re-form when necessary, all while in a relationship, takes real skill.
      I do not find it easy.

      I often wish I’d had more access to wise women elders back in the day, and nowadays try to be available to my nieces and other younger women, to help them feel heard.

  7. I think the saying,”you get what you give ” pertains here. If I am willing to make myself uncomfortable and to go places where I can grow, and keep an open mind, instead of choosing what I think is the safe path,I will tend to reap what I sow. I also agree with “blessed to be incarnated” and that if there is a lesson I need to learn, it will find me no matter the path. It’s a good thing.

  8. Sun Uranus Mercury Pluto conjunction in Virgo 12th House squaring Moon, so do Saturn (opposite Sun) in 5th and Chiron.

    Double Virgo with a highly ethical workaholic for a dad.

    You bet I spent 55 years beating my head against the wall of industry, education and achievement.

    But my 12th House emerged at last, telling me I’ll never be happy on the hamster wheel of worldly success. And was right.

    But I’m still very serious about my job.

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