It’s trendy to talk about the sexual power of women, but what about the sexual power of men?
I’m talking about how readily a woman becomes spellbound with a man she sleeps with. Her feelings engage and so often, good sense goes right out the window.
Get mad if you want. But I bet you know as many women as I do, who have dreamed some toad into a prince. I’ve done it myself.
In fact, it’s easy to lose your mind on nothing but the sex. Leave your family. Sign over your bank account. Become a spineless and mindless servant.
I just think someone should say this. Balance, you know? My Mars is in Libra.
Note – this is an old post (2014) but worth another look, in my opinion. Why do we (women) deny this?
Have you witnessed the sexual power of men?
Guilty as charged. Sigh.
I have Natal Mars in Aries so I’m naturally very aware of men’s sexual power, and it has a *tremendous* appeal on me.
*haz joined the GUILTY party*…..like a butterfly to nectar.
i am with windowlicker – but i would NEVER sign over my bank acct and my spine is highly flexible – and then there is the limit. saturn in pisces in the 5th
Yes and I believe there are lot of men out there that have true sexual power. Some know what to do with it some abuse that power and others are humble. In my opinion the humble man wins and does best.
oh HELLLO Elsa, how did you know I’ve been misbehaving?
You made me laugh, heartily, and then snort! 🙂
Yes I have. I’ve been mesmerized by a few penises. I’m acutely aware of my attraction to men. I struggle with it actually.
Me too. I have a very strong mars in scorpio. And I have very strong urges that get me in very good trouble. I LOVE men.yummy.
This is still a really prominent issue for me. One thing that i have learned is to be selective about who i go there with. Attraction used to be enough for me. Not anymore. Now, i actually look at a mans character! Duh, right?
how would you interpert a man with saturn conjunct mars in his natal fifth house opposite jupiter?… I am dealing with this mans sexual power and am quite confused about what this placement means…
Guilty of this also..my Neptune can do just about anything, dream up anything…lol…thank God natal saturn in 5th stopped me …whoa there girl, think about what your doing!
Yes, that dang Saturn. It’s on my 2nd house. DON’T FORGET YOUR VALUES WOMAN, SNAP OUT OF IT!
My Saturn in the 5th didn’t stop me from crushing on a Scorpio rising. But it did halt me in my tracks before it went any further than it did.
Uunfortunately it cost me.
The universe can be a harsh bitch mistress sometimes.
Uh, yeah. Of course. Completely spellbound. Thankfully I got over it.
My mars is Trine to Saturn in Scorpio and my mars is in cancer…..I really don’t care…..why,m it have seen it so many times in past life times, while love is a great gift that has to have integrity, and the magic of two people in love is great private sexual energy….
then again growing up i was the most insecure person when it came to the occupation of two people….Saturn in Scorpio is a very difficult sexual energy and yet Robert E Lee General of the south of Saturn in such a place and 7 childern, his daughters did not marry….
I have saturn in scorpio squaring mars in leo. I’m monogamous and integrity is really important. And sex is to be private between two people in the relationship. However I like saturn, it helps keep me out of trouble because I have neptune in my 7th house and can be very deluded.
thanks Elsa!!! good to be here!!
…but who do you think will have the upper hand- will saturn opress his mars? in 5th- yikes…
…michael lutin posted today a comment on this aspect (saturn conjunct mars) as “who will win- the sperm-or the condom?…”- that was funny ( if you are not involed with double messages from a man with this in his 5th:)) )
How about a man with Venus in Scorpio conj Neptune, Mars conj Pluto in Virgo? I think he is…
Seductive and cunning. 🙂
Lol@seductive and cunning. Ssoooooooooooo true. Especially venus in scorpio. 🙂
Yes….he is….. 🙂
Scorpio Neptune and Scorpio Mars D…
..is the kryptonite to the stone willpower of my Leo/Scorpio stellium & Scorpio Vesta
This noble shiny do-gooder filled with the riches of the Sun Leo will instantly transform into a shameless beggar crawling on the dark cold ground, just omg….begging for crumbs. Must have the Scorpio Mars D!
Ah, it goes both ways. The phrase ‘pussy whipped’ comes to mind. : )
Very true. 😉
I usually don’t advertise about my Scorpio Mars, sometimes a guy just needs some peace and quiet 🙂
Happens to me all the time. Natal Mars-Venus-Pluto conjunct in Libra. *rolls eyes*
Thankfully, I don’t get stupid-stupid about it. I recognize it for what it is. I can definitely swoon and overdose on dick, though. I’ve had three of those obsessions in my life and if they walked through the door tomorrow, I’d probably still fall over my tongue! 😛
Sheww! Sounds like my situation. He has mars, saturn, & ascendant conjunct in Scorpio. All these planets conjunct my Venus in Scorpio. I am sick for him. He is my drug. Lol I’ve walked through flames for him.
Mars in Virgo here 🙁 10th House. conj Pluto and Uranus; opp Saturn, Chiron, Lilith, Moon. sex tile Mercury (in Scorpio)
thanks 🙂 I haven commented here for a while…
thanks 🙂 I haven’t commented here for a while…
what do you make of my Mars, Elsa?
Right this minute, you’re demanding (Mars Pluto) astro (Uranus) info (Virgo), lol. 🙂
Ha! I married a man because of how drop dead AMAZING he was in bed. He had absolutely nothing going for him, except his looks and his bedroom skill. No job, no home, no teeth!, 5 foot 3 inches (tall), (I am 5’9) but he was very gifted and talented in the sack. I married him one month after our first time together, fast forward to A year and a half later, through finding out he was a raging alcoholic and emotionally and physically abusive, and I left him in the dust. It’s not worth it ladies! I have now moved on to a stable man, who’s a ho-hum, even selfish lover, but I learned a valuable lesson, don’t sign your life away for a great dick. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Yes you feel special, and soo in loooove, but it’s just one facet of a relationship, which should include many more good points. Learn from my mistake.
No teeth, OMG… You made my day, happy that you moved on to a better situation!
Mars in Taurus here w/Venus in the 8th.
I like ’em sexy!
I figure you get bored w/everyone eventually so why not be w/a sexy one that you enjoy looking at?
It has a lot to do with oxytocin, the hormone we produce (and men do not!) after sex that is akin to the bonding experience we have after giving birth. Even after so-so sex. Great sex will produce it in great quantities. I highly recommend not having sex with a man until he has demonstrated, solidly, that he is worthy. This shit is potent.
I was going to come and mention this.:-D Although fortunately, nothing seems to compare to the release in the first couple of months of breastfeeding. There was an English study reported this week proving that breastfeeding reduces the risk of post partum depression by half. The downside was that the mother who wanted to breastfeed but couldn’t, were likeliest to suffer of depression.
Acknowledged.
Men actually do produce oxytocin during sex (just not as much), mostly right after orgasm:
And, surprisingly, men produce more oxytocin during a kiss whereas women’s oxytocin falls. (I couldn’t find a paper by this scholar, so maybe she didn’t publish one. However, there has been further research done that seems to back her up.):
http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/national_world/2009/02/14/Romance_AP_0214.ART_ART_02-14-09_A2_2TCTPD9.html
Also, when administered oxytocin, the reward center of men’s brains light up when shown pictures of their partner — but not when shown pictures of friends, co-workers, or strangers:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24277856
A layman-speak article about some things that oxytocin is linked to in men (both a few years old but still valid):
Agree with that.
So, if we postulate that that we deeply bond with men, any men, pretty much, after sex, does the sexual power actually lie with them or us? Perhaps it’s time to take responsibility for the possibility that all of the power resides in our own bodies and minds?
A wise friend told me once “Never to sleep with anyone crazier then you.”
I do believe we take on others energy. Women receive, it’s biology and anatomy. As described by one lover: a golden thread between hearts. Having studied Sacred Sex, it makes sense. We become vulnerable, we expose our true selves and then we share deeply; blood, sweat and tears.
This is what they should be teaching in Sex Ed, Just saying! I don’t agree with the anything goes, green lights kids get these days. It’s hard to exorcise those crazies once they enter you.
I completely agree with you, Lady Camille. The principles of yin and yang. Thanks for your post.
And our propensities toward projection? 😉 We women just need to take our power back, period. Something so (previously) precious and sacred is given less value than a Slushy at 7-11 now. And it’s our fault – we, collectively, give it away. I hope we can turn this around, but I’m not really seeing an end to this anytime soon.
Agree with you so much. I am so guilty of giving it away. It’s hard to see a man for what he really is with Mars and Neptune tightly conjunct in Saggitarius.
True, it’s happened to me too to an extent, but never to the point where I became totally a servant or signed my life away. You cannot blind or fool Virgo with Venus and Mars in Virgo. Sure, I’ve been seduced, I’ve been wooed, I’ve been promised the moon and the stars, but actions speak louder than words and feelings are fleeting. I could never love somebody with that kind of careless reckless abandon. I dont know if it’s a curse and a blessing. Sometimes I wish I could, but I could never get past all my Virgo mental dissecting and analysing, reminding me how it isnt safe, or wise, or prudent and to stop that right now! :p Were not the most romantic bunch, are we…
Venus Virgo/ Mars Cap. I get it girl. I also have an Aqu. moon. I’ve been known to turn on dime and go find a new Love because the current one was not meeting my discriminating taste.
Should mention that I was raised in MO. The Show Me state.
Marriage is more of a business partnership then a Disney Fairy tale for me. It’s hard sometimes as I have had those Sexy guys whoo me, but in the end they where Dicks.
Next time around the Big deal breaker is He won’t dance with me. I’m a women, I desire to be Whooed and chased. Seduce me with a little Salsa Tango and I’ll ride off into the sunset happily ever after.
I get you ladies, i have lotsa dirt.(earth) but i am also glad …..so glad for the water. It makes me feel deep love, unconditionally…boundless.
@that last comment was for strwb, and that earth is very discriminating,and marriage is both serious business and fairytale,
but i do love w/ recklesss abandon, and can create dreams come true…..so i guess i have a balance of watery/earth, but had to learn the hard/harsh way of love early in life. now super happy and content.
Aries moon , pisces rising and virgo sun. quiet, Loud , and all the above. What is my intention? I feel like a toad and a prince. My mind is open to accept paradox
The question is what do you want, expect, and desire to give? Sex is fun and
Just met a man with Mars in scorpio – and my Asc is in Scorpio – help..!
My son has Mars in Scorpio – he’s very loyal. 🙂
I have Aqua Mars ruling my 7th so sex and sexuality is pretty much what I look for in a man and in a relationship. And yep, I don’t even wish to count how many times I’ve been uncertain if it’s just me liking the sex or actually liking them. I fall hard for men who have their Venus and/or Mars in aspect to my Mars. My Venus needs none of it, just my Mars.
Men with mars in scorpio – my take is if they prove they are worthy of you, then stick with them….forever. They will die for you, once you have proved your loyalty. That is a serious issue for them. Interesting post Elsa! Great reading.
Huh? You mean it’s not love ? 😉
I researched the Oxytocin thing when I didn’t understand why some men became more attractive after sex and a psychological bonding happened making me see a completely different person.
F.ex a guy that seemed to be rather average and obviously not emotionally available suddenly appeared to be relationship material.
However, even if some will consider me a slut right now:-), I had a time when I used to sleep with a different man every day and enjoyed it a lot. I had several boyfriends at the same time and the strange thing that happens during a promiscuous lifestyle–you produce less and less oxytocin. I sometimes fell in love with a guy at one point, then the next day I met another one and completely forgot about my loving feelings towards the other.
Before that I used to be a very proud, nice one-man woman (but for some reason I always felt emotionally taken advantage of). I felt some men did see other women behind my back (I have a good intuition) while I was the loving idiot and gave myself completely away to them> I never felt appreciated enough the way I think I deserved it.
It is really not a man/woman thing, it’s more about how women are expected to behave in society and it makes them a lot weaker, especially because sex is such a strong energy.
I learned to live sexuality the way men do and can understand their lack of bonding now. I learned the way they feel and think and it is very difficult to delude me today. It also showed me that men are actually much better than you think and often highly vulnerable, dependent and so, so insecure. Women really have all the power because we can control our sexuality, they can’t. And it leads them to make incredible, irrational decisions sometimes.
Dating many men and having a very active sexuality completely turned things around for me (a lot of men bonded with me after sex and wanted a serious relationship some even considered marriage after one month only). I seemed to become more attractive the more independent I was while of course many men want to put you down because they are scared( The word slut is actually often a put-down for an empowered woman.)
And though I sometimes was interested at first, I forgot about my feelings just the other day and I did not have this longing for love any longer. I realized how your brain learns to fade out things that you didn’t like because you have so many other great experiences and get to know people psychologically in their most vulnerable moments through sex.
So it is not true, it’s not a woman thing. But women who decide to take on the same power and rights as men will be seen as sluts until woman decide to respect each other and say “Yes we are allowed to do everything the way men do it and most of all do not bitch against each other”-and if men do, we disagree wit them.
The respect and acceptance between women is one of the biggest issues. I am sure some of you will think”Oh this woman has been hurt in her childhood, she has no self worth and eeew how disgusting she slept with so many men, she’s dirty:-)”, but it’s rather the opposite. I am got tested a lot of times and never caught anything, I am very well-groomed and usually elegant in public.
I got rid of vulnerability, neediness, longing for love and fear of ending up alone in life. Because by dating and bonding with so many people, you see, it’s actually all there and so easy.
It’s a programming that has been on women for a long time to oppress and control their power.
But I don’t speak for prostitutes here or the ones who use men for money or reputation and actually feel disgusted by them, or the ones who take just about everyone because they get paid for it. That’s completely different. Of course you choose. It is true that energy is exchanged through sex and therefore you should not sleep with people who you dislike or that have a lower form of energy (addictions and other bad habits or anything you don’t want to have in your own system). But in exchange get some of the energy of a person you admire or who has something you desire. You receive that energy and will become more like this person (a bit like a vampire).
Men do it all the time. Most of them take a lot of energy from so many different women, it increases their energy as well. On man told me that sleeping with many women makes him physically stronger. Why shouldn’t women do it, too? I stopped this lifestyle long ago and now it is the same again–too much bonding with the wrong men just because of sex (and I don’t sleep with them at an early stage). But to be honest it is because I don’t like to be judged by people and it was a society thing.
In fact I am so sexual (Mars in Aries on ASC) and don’t even want to know the name of someone, I would like to sleep with some people right away and just get rid of them again because I just want that energy. And again, you will realize how many men actually bond a lot more with women and your power increases. But I am aware not everyone wants that (mainly because women feel dirty because of the programming) and I have a very strong Mars, then Venus trine Uranus exact, Sun/Venus/Mars opposing Jupiter/Saturn conjunction. Yes I have been hurt with Venus/Saturn and my Neptune aspects, but the strong Jupiter in my horoscope also always gives me great returns and while Venus in 12 people often end up alone when they are older, I probably can inspire some people, especially women to develop their own rules and not live a conform unhappy life because they are afraid what society might think of them. Happiness can often lie so far from social standards….
Waw… I’ve had ideas like that for years, though I’ve never developed that lifestyle myself, on the contrary, and in some ways to my great disadvantage.
I was always afraid of social prejudice, and of becoming too detached, cold, cerebral, sort of indifferent like the people that I didn’t want to be like, the people that had sort of hurt me with the lack of importance they gave to things that were sort of precious to me. In my hurt, I had considered them less. Less able to feel, to value. Their sort of inability to cherish as much as I did, made them in my eyes less profound, sensitive, deep, sensible, less rich in human qualities.
But I also knew that the fact that I gave such importance to those things was that, in the middle of the desert, even a small puddle of dirty water is an oasis. I was not living much.
Its kinda cool to see similar ideas expressed by someone else. Of course you would have Venus/Uranus! (me too and Aqua Venus too in my case) And also a Sun/Venus, and Venus/Mars aspect.
In my case I also have a Sun/Neptune in the 12th, Scorpio Moon/Pluto in the MC, Cancer descendant, and and Aqua Mars square Saturn. Too idealistic, too much of a dreamer, too needy of deepness, too controled, too afraid of social shame (Cap Asc), too proud of my selective nature, and too pissed off of all of this s**it!!, that just leaves one feeling weaker, disproportionately/unequally overwhelmed by the experience, cause in the middle of the desert puddles of dirty water, small, tiny puddles of dirty warm water, that would never satisfyingly quench your thirst, that you would never, ever choose otherwise… obsess you.
Annoying, to say the least.
Long ago, far away . . . more than dick it was mmmmmmm the whole pot roast! 😀 Like I said. Long ago, far away . . .
I’m always surprised people need to be reminded of this. We’ve been taught that women have sexual power, or if they don’t (I would prefer to say:choose not to use it), something is wrong with them. The sub-text is always – that’s the only power we’ll allow women, so if you don’t focus on that one, we’re really not interested in anything else you have to offer..
Sad, sad, sad.
For men, too.
Men are afraid to own their own sexual power. Or beauty. They have to channel it into something else. In case someone thinks they are “gay”.
Sad, sad, sad.
Yep, Moon in Scorpio and Neptune too, 7th house. I can be deluded by amazing conversation, amazing chemistry, amazing sex with ummm… pretty well anyone. Whether we have anything else in common or not! Whether the other person is crazy or not! My Neptune will make up a romantic story for me to fill in the blanks and/or obscure the flaws 😉
Oh yeah. I felt a man’s sexuality and heat from clear across the country (met on line) and lost my mind on what I was HOPING would be dick…but his name was Larry. Left my hubs due to this Idiocracy. I LOVE men but am easily duped by their hotness.
I always want to punch men with Saturn and Mars in Scorpio in the face. I married two of them. It was a showdown at the not-okay corral. What a nightmare. Was it my fault?…I bet part of it was. My 5 planets in Scorpio and then here they come with all that….bossing me around. Demanding HA…. I can still hear ‘what you need to do is’ gagggggg what you need to do is go to hell!
Then I give birth to a Gemini Stellium with both Saturn and Mars in Scorpio (sweetest child that every lived until he turned 16) who I have had to go 500 rounds with. The girls fell all over him. He would have 20 girls calling him at any time. Oh brother! What a hoot.
He can open that sarcastic mouth of his and I want to knock him out. (he is my child and I would die for him but I would like to slap the dog shit out of him twice a week)
Oh gods my mate’s mars is in scorpio too O_O it’s a bit overwhelming bahahah
Great topic Elsa. I could write a week of blogs on the topic. Personally, astrologically I find the venus/mars situation to the heart of the erotic vibe … like are you on the same wavelength sexually … the electro/magneticchemistry the iron & copper of it all. An advertising copyrighter selling a mattress, wrote how we orbit the sun between venus and mars … I know a guy whose fascinated me for years. A local Chicago outlier, blues musician type … the rumble in his voice vibrate(d) my gspot, he would get me so hot … his mars/Jupiter conjuncts my venus in virgo …
I’m an Aries woman who was totally in love/dickmatized with a Scorpio man for the past five years. He was not even that great looking, but sexually very powerful. I have a tendency to attract really intense men/ relationships. I was totally possessed by him. Maybe it was the strong venus/mars & moon/pluto connection we shared. Either way. . I’m no longer sleeping with him, but I feel like we are eternally bound. Over it and moving the fuck on!
The day is early, and I had already used the word balanced many times before reading your post, Elsa. “I need more balance; I can’t keep vacillating between the extremes, feast or famine, fight or flight.” BALANCE was the topic over coffee with friends this morning!!
This is typical in my world. When I get close to turning a page, equipped with better tools and an understanding, the cosmos confirms with an undeniable neon sign.
p.s. I love my toads…… today
Oh, it’s scorpio season! Dust off your leather jackets or trench coats and get on the prowl. I tend to crush on mars in scorpio or mars in virgo. Haven’t got a single excuse for myself. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This is only as an idea, silly crush as a gemini 5th house. I do not go out to hunt , am tired. Dating anyone during these times, hah, sure.
The reason that this kind of thing is not talked about is that it is a female issue. And if men have a relationship issue. They form into a kind of natural army kind of formation and make long youtube videos about it on youtube and such. With statistics and the like.
When women have an issue, you just get a bunch of women all completely separate from each other on TikTok or something, saying things that are not massively coherent, that aren’t placed in a larger social framework, and that usually don’t allow for gaps in their own perception or experience. Because they are taken over by feeling. I don’t count feminism in this analysis, since feminism was wholly and completely initiated by the intelligence services.
Plus you get guys that just don’t want to know. A lot of guys get with a woman and don’t want to hear anything from her other than that he’s the best she has ever had, and that she didn’t have any other partners.
I am aware that certain guy friends in my life have had that energy. I used to know a guy who had three girls on the go at any one time and he was just this being of absolute joy all the time. It was always jokes, and doing something a little reckless with him. And I knew that if I were to sleep in his energy field. I.e. if I went over to his house for the night and we were in the same room (separate beds). I would somehow absorb that giddy joyfulness and it would take a while the next day to get back to normality. It was a greater disturbing of my productivity the following day than being hungover.
I have found that sex causes emotional bonding. With me it does anyway. I can’t do recreational sex which for me at my age and the fact that it’s been 10 years I could really use some. I am not willing to risk bonding with some a@@hole,
great sex never made me fall in love. them triggering unconcious childhood familly issues defnitely did. it was why i was attracted in the first place. it wasnt the mens ‘sexual power’. it was my own insatiable emotional void.
One of my ex coworkers had a thing for me and he was hard to resist. A Capricorn, Sag rising, Sag Moon and Jupiter conjunct on the Rising and Venus conjunct Pluto. In Scorpio. In the 12th. Younger than me too.
It was nice for my ego and my marriage was a mess at that time, but I couldn’t do it. I have Venus conjunct Pluto and have been at the abyss a few times. I couldn’t break up my family for this.
Men can be attractive in so many different ways. There’s physical strength, but also confidence – you can see in the way they walk. Capability. Protectiveness. Intelligence. Integrity. Honor. If they have all of those things….😍
ANOTHER product of this dual reality, where Evil Technology wants to control all things – is testosterone has declined 50% in 50 yrs. One could make a great case they are hormonally hijacking the men to no longer be men by definition. Just get to the Water Supply is a thought that would pop into my head since I was a kid, on how to take out or control a group of people. Fluoride was the reasoning behind it – and I’ve researched it – smart people take it all out ….the Cures for the childhood ABCDEFG Ailments were created. Along with all those vaxs , none of which is longterm tested. Clarity is seeing how poisoned everyone is. And the thinking also reflects what they’ve done to the human race.