Un-Comfort, The Capricorn Plague and Writing This Blog With Neptune Conjunct the Midheaven

Regarding Capricorn and concern over public image, if not for this training with Ben… and others, but especially Ben who is so incredibly keen, I would never be able to write this blog. I put this stuff out here every day with no way to control how it may be interpreted… or misinterpreted. I mean, obviously people react to me and some of them react very badly! If you wonder about this, you ought to get a load of my hate mail. For example, someone called me a “choat face” yesterday. And I think that may be misspelled, but according to a friend of mine, it refers to a specific region of a man’s crotch!

So anyway, I read this vitriolic stuff and have no idea where it came from. I wonder how people can read what they read when it’s completely remote from what I wrote! So you can see the problem this would cause a person like me. Capricorn that is. I am moved to want to control what people think of me! Which is impossible. This is an especially fruitless pursuit for me because I have Neptune on the midheaven.

The midheaven or the top of the chart, shows how a person is viewed by the public and Neptune obscures things. It’s freakishly tricky and fogs everything up so people observing me see God knows what. And if you’re going to be standing in the fog like that, it’s makes you a very easy target to project upon. And project they do.

And if you’re me, at times it’s just crushing. Ouch! Other times I couldn’t care less! Which is Neptune of course. The tide is in. Or out! I care. Or I don’t. You see me. Or you don’t! But here’s the point:

I think that writing this stuff is my destiny. And if I were not willing or able to maintain myself in my un-comfort zone, my life would be a complete loss.

So what about you? Have you ever forced yourself to tolerate something that is nearly intolerable and reaped the rewards of that? Tell us.

17 thoughts on “Un-Comfort, The Capricorn Plague and Writing This Blog With Neptune Conjunct the Midheaven”

  1. Yes. I live with a man that I was romantically involved with for two years. I have a basement apartment in his house. We both had children when we met and we committed then to remaining in one another’s lives so that the children would not lose adults they had come to rely on. We have honored that committment through various emotional storms. We are strong allies and good partners. The emotional entanglements are challenging sometimes.

    My life is better in so many ways for having this man in it and for being unwilling to run away when it gets painful. But sometimes it is very painful.

  2. “If you wonder about this, you ought to get a load of my hate mail.”

    Good gravy! Some people need hobbies. Collecting dust bunnies is very theraputic. Or so I’ve been told.

    “I wonder how people can read what they read when it’s completely remote from what I wrote! ”

    Well… Mercury is retrograde 😀 But having Neptune on the midheaven doesn’t help much, does it?

    The answer to your question is yes, but I don’t know how to explain it and it would take too long to try. I take up too much space here on a regular basis as it is :D. In the end, the moral of the story, it’s taught me compassion.

  3. Yes, many things. Most importantly in putting up with difficult relationships (because they were worth it) and work. I did a gruelling Masters degree which nearly killed me. And now I’m glad 🙂

  4. I started DJing in a club about a year ago — was something I was reluctant to do but kept getting pushed forward by my friends and the Universe. I really try to play music that is both current and interesting, but also meaningful and generally positive. Many times I’m forced to endure people who get upset because I won’t play whatever mindless, popular song with no soul that simply glorifies debasing sex and consumerism. I’ve had people who will no longer talk to me because I won’t play their song RIGHT NOW. At the same time, I feel like the music I play is a reflection of who I am (and as a Scorpio, it does NOT feel real natural to broadcast that to the masses), so its been a study of being myself versus jumping through the hoops others want me to jump through, which is a rewarding lesson.

  5. Ooh, you should tell the story, Laura Elizabeth. If you wanna, I mean.

    I guess the only thing that I can think of is therapy. In December it will be a year since I started therapy and it was very painful at times. There were times when I wanted to throw a brick at my therapist, he made me so mad. And there were times that I felt like throwing myself from a tall building. But I endured and last week I had a breakthrough and now I feel so alive that I can’t think straight. I’m feeling all the blessings of my Venus-Pluto square and this time I’m not making those up in my head.

  6. Yes, I have tolerated a few things that felt untolerable and reaped the benefits. Specifically, I took care of my partner when he was extremely ill. He was not an easy person to look after, not least because an unexpected side effect of his medication was that he was totally emotionally delusional and, well, he was an asshole!!
    It was really hard at time to remember that he was going to get better and get off the meds and that life would carry on. But that all happened and it was strangely gratifying to be able to say, hey I did a pretty good job by not losing my mind or running away when it got pretty shitty. And yes it made us closer.

    On another note, I have run away from almost everything else, beginning with home at 16. I’m a bolter. And I have Uranus in my MC, so I look pretty unpredictble to the world.

  7. I am currently forcing myself to tolerate something nearly untolerable. Don’t know how it’s going to turn out just yet…but it’s certainly NOT COMFORTABLE!!!!!

    And by the way, your space here is evolving ever-so-nicely! You go girl!

  8. Oh geez… Hate mail?? For this?? While you can sometimes be a little abrupt, I hardly think it’s hate mail worthy. Some people really need something to do… I recommend knitting.

    I’ve tolerated a hell of a lot in not-good ways. I’m still trying to figure out the rewards…

    And now I need to go figure out that midheaven thing. Just gotta say, I LOVE these kinds of blogs… Astro-geekness!! WOOT!!

  9. I thought choat was a type of squash…

    I’ve tolerated the drastic impersonal changes in my job / workplace, not sure if it’ll ever pay off and don’t know why I’ve endured except the nature of the job fits my nature. Don’t know why I should be ‘punished’ for that…:) I DO know Pluto is just about done with my 6th house, Uranus will still be around doing it’s maverick movements in my 10th, and I’d predict I’ll strike out in more self-controlled directions.

    We stay in ‘nearly intolerable’ conditions because it’s like strength training. Eventually the intolerable becomes tolerable and we can feel pride in the ease with which we deal w/ something that at one time was overwhelming. Also – part of us, the wise part – knows about the flux and flow of life and that we don’t control it. Ego part would like us to jump from place to place to place, the other part (detached? viewing things from a distance, holistically?) knows all sets of circumstances given time break down or evolve into another set that’s most likely more tolerable than what we’ve deemed intolerable. Beating our heads against what the universe presents can be entertaining but futile – and encourages staying stagnant and stuck.

  10. The thai fortune cookie I just opened states:

    Comfort zones are most often expanded through discomfort.

    Lucky Numbers 27,33,41,38,22,10

    Learn Chinese: April, Si-yue

      1. Well, that certainly clarifies why people are always projecting crap on me. My family, my sister, men I have known. Weird. It’s like they don’t get me at all. they are totally clueless, so they make up characteristics/ideas about me.

            1. You can’t. People see what they want to see…though some people will have the ability to see you. Not that many!

              It’s a sacrifice. You show up to be overlaid with whatever the thing the person needs at the time. For me, it’s usually the shadow, which has different forms. I’m bad. I’m stupid. I’m whatever they need me to be… Sometimes, I’m thrown up on a pedestal which is the scariest of all, because you’re going to fall, saint to sinner, and people punish you, greatly.

              These days, I show up like a screen in groups of people. If someone sees me, I’ll reveal but otherwise. I just shallow breathe so as not to shake their illusion. When the event is over, I go home with nothing but I’m unscathed.

              Obviously, I not look for events to attend. But sometimes attendance is required.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top