Under The Scorpio Moon: Seeing The Thing Naked, Including My Psychology

I know of a man via the internet who I respect a lot. I made this judgment via his writing which I think it elegant.  He’s older than I am. He’s from a different generation where people were taught discourse and I am sure  I was attracted to him  because he reminded me of my grandfather, Henry, who could also write one hell of a letter.

The writing is soothing to me and instructive.  He writes at a level I aspire too offering me a chance to pay better attention than I did to my grandfather when he was alive, which is something I appreciate.

I have something else in common with this man in that we have both suffered traumatic loss.  Once you go through something like this, provided you maintain your sanity, there is quality about a person that develops.  Depth, I guess you could say.  He’s got the quality and so do I which is another reason to feel a kinship.

So I am going along with this elegant man in my periphery, feeling glad about it and then last night I heard something terrible about him. Not terrible as in he’s a child molester. Not terrible in a way that has left me disillusioned.  It’s terrible in that now I know he is compromised.  Let’s just say (I am fabricating details here) that I found out he was bedridden and being fed through a tube. It hurts, yes? This man is a man, he is not my projection of this strapping figure.

I was talking to satori today in regards to this board post – If You Marry Someone You Don’t Like; It’s Your Fault Not Theirs.  My point in telling her this story was to say that it is not this man’s fault that he is not my projection. I also wanted to point out that it would be completely irrational for me to become upset over this. It makes far more sense I incorporate reality…

In reality I know an elegant man with a physical problem.  I know him better now and that’s it.  No drama necessary.

There was a time I might have been very upset about this. I’d have wanted it to be MY movie, they way I imagined it.  Older now, I understand that movies are much better when other people contribute content.

Can you relate?

10 thoughts on “Under The Scorpio Moon: Seeing The Thing Naked, Including My Psychology”

  1. Yes I can relate. When I began seeing my therapist he said “there is no relationship in a person’s life more important than her relationship with reality.” It resonated, hardcore.

    The other day my guy and I were talking about kids who are “bored” all the time. He doesn’t remember being bored as a kid and neither do I. I see this too, as acceptance of reality. It’s a good place to be, not always wanting to be somewhere else or have something ‘more exciting’ come along.

    (I have Capricorn and it shows, ha)!

  2. yeah – that was a lesson I had to learn, definitely, in my 20s with the merc neptune in the house of friends aspect I have.

    if I hadn’t I’d have reality smacking me upside the head a lot haha.

  3. I have an answer for this, I really do but I cannot put it into words–which frankly pisses me off

    But it goes something like, your projection of him may not match his physicality but it probably does match his spirit.
    Does that make sense?

    And yes, I can relate

  4. Yes.

    This is an elegant way of describing life unmasked. I love how you described your kinship, and how Scorpio’s deep moon gives ‘elegant as aged meaning.’

    Speaking of movies, ever see Finding Forrester. There’s one elegant and aged character unmasked through friendship with youth. How lucky when we integrate reality.

  5. I realized I don’t want this guy to be *that* old or to die. I don’t know anyone like him. It is a level of grace that is gone now and when he goes I will not be able to replace him.

    I am old enough to know of it way of being…I grew up with Henry but I am not this way myself.

    Perhaps I could be though. Perhaps I better be. Jeez, I wonder if I could come anywhere close.

    It would be inordinately hard.

    I enjoy his way. Damn.

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