“Men hate that,” the soldier said. “They hate women like that.”
“No kidding? They don’t like women who are nasty to other women? I didn’t know if they would care about that or not.”
“Hell no, men don’t like venomous women. Those women who are vicious? No I don’t think men like women like that at all.”
“Why not?”
“Well you see them being vicious to other woman you figure they’ll do it to you eventually.”
“Yes, I guess that is obvious. I don’t know much about them because I avoid them like the plague. It makes me ill to be around women like that so I just get as far away from them as I can, as fast as I can.”
“Good idea.”
How do you handle venomous women when you come across them?
trouble is, one finds themselves inexplicably caught in the venomous womans web, before one actually knows that. Once in her web, getting away requires some tricky work. I don’t think these types of women are openly venomous to other women or men. They like to get a little closer firstly.
k
Kill them with kindness or keep my distance…or a little of both 🙂
Enh.
Plenty enough men like those kind of women… you know how you sometimes hear men complaining that “Women only like jerks”? Well, a certain number of women do like jerks. And an equivalent number of men like manipulative, evil, snakish women. Power, even the nasty kind that you get from being willing to hurt others, is attractive to the weak.
“Well you see them being vicious to other woman you figure they’ll do it to you eventually.” That kind of logic does him a hell of a lot of credit. Most people don’t think ahead that far. They really see this evil person being all sweet and nice to THEM, and think, “I must be so special,” not, “My time is coming.”
I have yet to figure out a really good way to handle that kind of woman. I avoid them when I can.
go away. there is nothing useful to be gained in exposing yourself to that.
unless circumstances require it, and then i try my invisibility trick and attempt to get it over with quickly.
I don’t know Kingsley, this description could apply to various kinds of women who think they’re not aggresive. It’s hard to classify them because some of them are really slick and some are more clumsy. None of them that I’ve met have ever been in a position of real power for very long. Mostly what they have in common is that on the surface they may seem really friendly and helpful, then BOOM. I think it mainly happens when they feel threatened for some reason, but they’re generally extremely self absorbed people.
Examples:
The co-worker who won’t lift a finger unless the task comes with a commission, even if it’s her job.
The relative who coaxes out answers to personal questions until she can find something to judge you about.
The boss who acts like she wants to be your buddy, and then feels threatened so she sets you up to fail thinking it will make her look better.
There are varying degrees and some of the women aren’t at all evil, just terribly unaware of themselves.
Certainly, ones exposure to these women is indicated in the natal chart. Natives with Venus or the Moon in detriment would be the classic examples. Anyone with Venus or the Moon in Scorpio would tend to be attracted to those intense, vendetta driven women; and would also be predisposed to actions that would set them on the war path. Those with Venus in Aries come in contact with women who are aggressive and compete for something that the native has … their partner, their job, their parking spot. Those with Moon in Capricorn carry a burden from some early childhood experience and hence they hold back with their female contacts which, under transit, gives these nasty experiences.
As for afflictions to the Moon or Venus, there are too many to detail here. But they are there. Again, a knowledge of one’s natal chart is worth the study.
kashmiri – yes! 🙂
::snort:: 🙂
These vicious women mistake my friendliness as a weakness and trying to take advantage. Their fatal mistake, of course, is that they assume that I CAN be taken advantage of or abused! I have a lot of Scorpio so I can tell B.S. from miles away… but I don’t always call them on it. Mostly, I just take the higher road, keep my eyes open and my defenses up, and wait-patiently-for them to hang themselves with their own rope.
With more stubborn or clueless ones who don’t get that I’m not one to be played with, a calm, firm rejoinder-that shows that you know damn well you see right through them-works wonders. Somehow, they seem to know I could really strike back hard if it came down to it. Usually, though, karma does it for me anyway (thank the stars-I actually HATE confrontation)!
Generally, though, I agree with steering clear of these poisonous types, as others have very wisely noted. The ones you work with are a harder to avoid, so you have to learn to deal with them until you can remove yourself from the situation. Many of these types are sociopaths and will destroy anything that gets in their way.
The point is that these types feed on the weak, and it’s important to take back your own power to avoid being a target. This has been a huge lesson for me, but SO worth learning.
chop their heads off with a shovel– OH WAIT, that’s what I do to rattlesnakes. I guess I crush them with a two by four like I do with black widows.
anything less than lethal and I just scoop them up with something and toss them outside.
why yes, I’ll take a little pluto with my mars, uranus on the side, thank you.
are you still checking the garbage can, Elsa?
I can spot them when I see them, and when I do, I make sure to stay away from them. Two words that send me a Red Alert—-“Negative Energy”!!
Er, I think I have something highly intelligent and amazing in there, LOL
Those types of women usually keep their distance from me. Since I have zero respect for that kind of behaviour, in men or women, I think I radiate a bit of a shield.
Usually they pretty much know when I am watching with a bit of a smile that I am very aware of what they are doing. If they are stupid enough to take a run at me or especially a friend, then they end up mincemeat pretty fast.
I was thinking my post sounds a bit harsh. I have my Sat in Scorp and a Venus in Aries. I don’t go looking for negativity at all, but if it finds me I am not afraid of dealing with the fall out.
I would love to be able to embrace the turn the other cheek philosophy, but I can’t ignore bullies or people that intentionally hurt others. So often I see that they feel they have a right, because no one will stand up and say enough already!
I think some men do like these women. I’ve seen them. (Though the soldier is probably a nicer guy with better taste!) I think some men like bitchy women the way some women like bad-boys who treat them badly.
I know a woman who is a notorious viper. I have her chart, and the only symptom I can see is a lot of planets in the 4th house and/or cancer – not that this is an inherently bad thing, I just think she tends toward the “shadow” side of these things … this in conjunction with an Aquarius moon (which I also have), but which challenges her to connect with her heart and emotions. If you don’t believe in home and family (i.e. are like me and older and not married with kids or someone otherwise doing something with your life that threatens that ideal) you are the enemy. She has that classic “you are dead to me” Cancerian mentality (which is not all bad, it’s just that hers triggers, I think, before including empathy), and once someone is dead to her, they are fair game for treating as non-persons. Their feelings do not matter. What she says about or does to them does not matter (because they are dead, you see, to her in her mind).
I confess to failing to have dealt with her in some respectable way. I ran away, it was the only way I knew to get away from her. I was too soft and open – I disgusted her (in addition to my sin of not being married or having children) because I was “nice”; she saw this as a weakness and went for that “jugular”. I was not the only person she did this with.
She was definitely one of those women though – with “snake eyes” and a viper-like personality.
sargon – what a insightfully great post! i have seen patterns in many people that i know pretty well that attest to what you wrote..the afflicted venus/moon issues emphasize or perhaps indicate that the person will tend to want to control others to their own agenda rather then realize its about inner work? as in working on being detached no matter how deseparate one may think they need to manipulate the situation and just go about doing the work that benefits the most…not just themselves…good call! case in point, a close relative is currenty going through a heck of a divorce that he says he never saw coming (moon in capricorn) from the wife (her moon is conjunct both uranus and pluto and currently, saturn is opposing her moon by transit) that no longer feels a need to hide her venomous nature underneath a cloak of civilty…like i said ‘good call’. i have a friend that has a very similar moon in cap chart that i suspect is about to have a very similar ‘eruption’…the “patterns” are there, if one knows what they are seeing and its relevance(s).
Althera: sounds to me like you did fine. I mean, yeah, we’d all like to be the one who stops the bully in her tracks, but first of all, some of us just aren’t meant for that kind of work, and second of all, some of THEM really are intractable.
You gotta respect your responsibility to protect yourself from people who have it out for you.
My first instinct is to have a go at them, because of Aries rising and Mars in Leo–but women like this, as I learned after years of fighting them, don’t have much use for honest, air-clearing battles. So after many sneak attacks, I avoid them, but I still feel twinges of wanting to set them straight. 😉
as for men who appear to like nasty women, I’d hazard a guess that the men in question just don’t register it.
Or to quote my 82 year old father (who’s very annoying to talk to when it comes to gender issues): ‘that’s the way women are.’
I personally don’t want to be the person who stops a bully. I’d rather escape and let other people hone their skills. (I’ll take a hit if I really, really need to, okay)?
As a former passive-aggressive person, I try to counter with as much compassion as I can muster. It rarely works, and sometimes even worsens the situation, but at least I know I did my part…;)
Mars/Pluto in Libra sextile Neptune.
I have a healthy respect for snakes. The life sized Puff Adder tattooed up the left side of my body is just a small testament to my veneration. Snakes represent more than just the venomous woman- although- “snake energy” can be used in that way. An ex once commented I looked, “snakey” in a picture- that my eyes gave it away. Yet, I think there is more to this story than simply being a bitch and it involves sexuality. Biblically, the snake or serpent was an evil symbol, associated with the devil and pleasures of the flesh. This attitude toward sexuality, especially for Christians, is embedded in our culture. Yes, snakes are feared, and rightfully so, they can be vicious when provoked, but they also represent actual physical healing, letting go of the past, transformation, and sexual power/healing- in other words, Scorpio!
Love your blogs Elsa.
~SS
Also, my answer to the org. question:
How do you handle venomous women when you come across them?
Observe. Learn. Rise above. Take what you want from the lesson and leave the rest.
Wow, now I understand why the venemous women always take one look at me and go after me! I have Moon in Scorpio and Venus in Aries! I have had more than my share of those types. I can’t seem to figure out how to make them leave me alone. I have run into most of them in my martial arts classes. Plus, one of my long-time male “friends” kept telling me I was too sensitive and I was imagining it, and I should not stand up for myself. Sounds like I’ve spent a long time hanging around with the wrong people! Where are the men (and women) who don’t like the female snakes? Lead me to them!
Hi Laura,
You might want to try the local lady’s luncheon club..or golf? Martial arts class is a sure-fire way to find the Mars/Pluto (Scorpio/Snake) influences operating- esp. with the women in those classes. I think men have it easier in this arena, as violence, agression, and testerone are expected, even applauded. Yet, for women, when we legitmately express rage we get placed in the “hysterical” category or we are “lunatics”- (Luna=Moon=Female) Did you know that Mars is the ancient ruler of Scorpio?..you are getting a double-dose with Venus in Aries and Moon in Scorpio. I don’t think you are too sensitive as your friends suggest (although I could be wrong, I don’t know you) BUT I think you are probably an ass kicker in your own right, and can fend just fine for yourself in the viper pit.
Cheers! ~SS
ewinbee, thank you.
SS – that’s a great point. What’s wrong with women being able to express this kind of powerful energy? as long as nobody gets hurt, no harm done.
I love martial arts, and definitely have the moon venus stuff Sargon the Magnificent wrote about up above. Moon in Capricorn, square Venus/Mars/Sun in Aries. I think of martial arts as a controlled release of intense, powerful energy…it’s kind of graceful actually.
I do tend to attract men who have an afflicted moon or venus, especially moon/saturn/pluto and venus/saturn/pluto. And they love to provoke for sure! But my capricorn moon is way too inhibited to let’em have it…I just take that energy to martial arts class 😉
Learning sooo much reading through this post;-) EVERYONE has had some really valid and interesting insights….such diversity!!!! LOVE IT!!!