Venus And Mars: Men And Women Hunting Each Other ::Sniffs::

rocky road“You’d have not liked it,” I said. “Some guy was following me around the store. He even said he was following me.””Did you tell him to piss off?”


“Why not.”

I shrugged on my end of the phone. “Can’t say he was malicious, I guess. But he did collide with me 4 times. The 3 thirsd time he said, I’m following you. I didn’t react and then he managed to run into me one more time on the other side of the store. Hard to say it wasn’t purposeful.”

“Of course it was purposeful. That guy was interested in you. Every man who sees you is interested in you.”

“That’s ridiculous. I am old.”

“Yeah right.”

“Plus weren’t you just talking about a man and his gem? Every man has a certain woman they’re looking for?”

“Well that’s true. But it doesn’t mean they aren’t going to try other things. Say I like chocolate ice cream with chocolate sprinkles. Do you think I am going to say no to rocky road?”


“Exactly. A man does have a woman he prefers. She’s his top pick but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to try other flavors.”

“So you mean if you’re not careful and paying attention you can wind up surrogate or stand in for a man while he looks around for someone he really wants?”

“Well, yeah. A man is going to try all the flavors he can.”

I paused for a second. ‘Yeah? Well women do the same thing.”

Do you agree?

20 thoughts on “Venus And Mars: Men And Women Hunting Each Other ::Sniffs::”

  1. Elsa! You read my mind! I was just thinking about writing to see if you would do an “Ask the Collective” on this. . .

    I’m writing in my journal and working on my stuff (as you know 🙂 . . . and I’m thinking, “But can we ever change what we like?”

    This might be taking this question a step further. But I’m sitting here with this conundrum. I have always fought with men. I have always gone with certain “types” that ended up not being very good for me. . . and I’m trying to do something different. But is it really possible? Are women who, say, have always gone for “bad boy” types capable of swinging in the other direction . . . falling madly in love with nice guys?


  2. “You’d have not liked it,” I said. “Some guy was following me around the store. He even said he was following me.”

    He’d have killed him. I would’ve opened with, ‘So, you need something, motherfucker?’

    The third time he said, I’m following you.

    ‘Ah. Well then. Cease and desist.’

    “Every man who sees you is interested in you.”

    Hrmmm: ‘Every man that sees you will think about it.’ C’est la vie.

    “Well that’s true. But it doesn’t mean they aren’t going to try other things.”

    Most people probably aren’t certain what their gem IS, much less whether or not a given someone will fit. But they probably will chase anybody that ‘looks good so why not try it out’?

    I paused for a second. ‘Yeah? Well women do the same thing.”

    Wouldn’t expect otherwise, given the amount of effort put into finding ‘The One’. The downside is that someone may have ‘The One’ and blow them off, or they may simply not understand that even a relationship with ‘The One’ has its difficulties, in the practical sense. (And I typed that sentence out and I wasn’t thinking of you and the soldier guy.)

    [‘The world is never perfect.’]

  3. I stick to the same flavours. Usually if I want chocolate/peanut butter but choose to try something new like coconut chunk I am inevitably disappointed in the end and wish I had the chocolate.

    Sometimes you just know what tastes best.


  4. I’ve always loved coffee flavored ice cream, and have never been able to change this. Trying new things is exciting and fun but never replaces the deep satisfaction that comes with anticipating and enjoying, over and over again, what is tried and true. Some things just hit the spot every single time 🙂

    I’ll usually accept what I can get if I’m starving, but as soon as I’m back to normal I go straight for my top pick. Life is too short to spend time on anything else

  5. Oh my god, Elsa! This is so appropriate! Oxford students have come on exchange to my school (it is the sister school of Oxford) for their spring break and a British guy was in my class. Boy was the entire class of girls hunting him! It’s insane, the way girls get with a 70:30 ratio of girls to boys. I wanted desperately to talk to him and a girl stayed on too, I asked her why and she said she wanted to talk to the guy because he is cute. I ceded because she is a model and I had not a hope. I couldn’t handle myself in my next class, was insanely hyper. Usually I get used to the attractive men I know after a while and teach myself to stop caring or wanting them. A girl and I were outraged about how she snapped him up and decided on a game plan. Lately my “hunting plan” is to have tons of faith. Not that it will ever happen, but can’t hurt in wishing.

  6. sounds like that Neptune thing Elsa? Others projecting on you, seeing something they need and following you around?.


  7. for a little while. sometimes it takes awhile to figure out what you like. particularly if you’ve somehow been misdirected to a donut shop.

  8. Kingsley – that is an interesting take and now that you mention it, this was what the guy was like (his energy). He was not a lech, just looking at me like I could help him. Because what ran through my head was this: ‘Don’t ask me what to buy. I don’t know anything about fashion…”

    And earlier this woman in the grocery wanted me to explain granola bars to her. She spoke English pretty well (she was Asian) but said she did not know how Americans do things and wanted to know if she should eat a bar with some milk and if this should be done for “breakfast.” I wound up showing her the flavors… low sugar variety and the variety pack.

    “LIke marshmallow?” she asked.

    “More like honey.”

    This guys seemed to want to talk to me like that but of course I was not sure and I have a very jealous boyfriend who I would just as soon not torture (payback is a bitch). I realize this limits us but I am telling you it is worth it. Content is content and I am content.

  9. I think what we want definitely evolves over time. I know that I certainly have a physical “type” of guy that I’m attracted to, but my ideal is constantly evolving and I find qualities in others that don’t necessarily fit that type that do become a part of that ideal.

    And specifically to Dina: Respectfully, may I suggest that you never again teach yourself not to want what you want because all you’re really teaching yourself is that you believe you don’t deserve what you want. Rather, there are many things about you that a guy would find appealing — it’s your job to find them in yourself. You’ll find that there are plenty of very of very physically attractive people who are seeking people who will see them for more than just their physical appearance. I’ve met plenty. It’s your job to be able to find the qualities in yourself that you love and those people will find their way to you. It won’t be just a wish, it will be a reality.

  10. Thanks, Marc. That’s exactly what I’m teaching myself. Tough to change, thinking that I deserve things never pays too well.

  11. Yes, its like that woman I mentioned who seemed to get her dinner order wrong by waiters. It is something in ones aura, face patterning or even something ’emmitted’ unknowingly by the person themself. Perhaps you look like (to them) a person who knows about things, can make decisions about fashion and granola bars. I get the same sort of thing in other ways Elsa. Perhaps there are some faces which have an easily identifiable quality as the person to approach in some manner? Perhaps my post on Lilith and Counter transference explains things to a certain degree.

    Maybe its Pheromones?


  12. Pheromones, Kingsley? Probably has something to to do with it. All I can tell you is this guy had this startled look on his face like he’d just saw a ghost or his next wife or his… sumpthin’.

    I had a startled look on my face too, like what? What? What do you see? We are in a super target, that is all. I just need a t-shirt with a pocket and I’m going to be on my way. I need a mesh laundry bag to wash bras in – that’s it!

    Meanwhile he’s trying to say something, anything and I am trying to escape, escape before he does.

  13. Elsa and Kingsely what an interesting conversation especially about the Pheromones Kingsley. Anyways I had a giggle becuase it remind me something my mum had said. I always get people sitting next to me on the bus not just people but weirdos/nutters (Uranus on the MC) even when there are lots of other seats available or people stopping me in street for something or the other and mum’s answer for this was ” You just have a friendly face”.

    Now I think is definitely that Neptune but maybe Jupiter rising is adding to this Elsa “You just have a friendly face”

  14. For a while whenever I ate out waiters would bring me diet soda instead of regular which is what I always ask for. I hate aspertame! But I guess I look like the sort of girl who would drink diet soda?

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