Venus Square Neptune: Beware The Chronically Disillusioned

Neptune bob mackieI have Venus square Neptune natally. There is no end to the manifestations and problems associated but if there is one thing to keep in mind when you are dealing with a square (and your life in general) it’s this: Whatever is happening in your life, YOU are most certainly involved.

Some people are constantly disillusioned with others. Not just people but things and places too. Nothing is ever what it was cracked up to be and they can go on and on and tell you all about but what they fail to do is check their own expectations.  Could it be their view is off or skewed, rather than the thing they were viewing containing the flaws?

Nine times out of ten, the thing was the thing or the person was the person who they are. It’s the  person who winds up disillusioned who had the unrealistic expectations.

If you never figure this out, you’ll be a victim your whole life.

Who can relate?

Tell us about when the veil (you were holding up) dropped.

33 thoughts on “Venus Square Neptune: Beware The Chronically Disillusioned”

  1. ME 🙂 it sucks when u first start to realize u had part in the problem.. then it can be freeing and bring hope for change. That next time you can do better if u keep the blinders to self issues off!

  2. “Nine times out of ten, the thing was the thing was the thing or the person was the person was the person they are and it was person who winds up dissilusi8oned who had the unrealistic expectations.”

    This part confuses me (sorta – have to read it a few more time) – but either way I have always known and taken responsibility that in the midst of my problems either way – I have a part in it in one way or another – be it karma, association or just plain ignorance or naiviety (sp?) – that is for me to bear and learn from!

  3. Yes – I have Venus loosely square (out of orb, is that the right term?) Neptune and the veil can be there, albeit with holes in it. Then I have also have Mars definitely square Neptune so when the veil does fall off, I get wicked angry about!!! But I also tend to a lot of self-blame, especially when I’ve fallen for someone’s not-all-that-honestly-accurate narrative. I have made progress though; I just have to write that “trust your instincts, trust your instincts, trust your instincts” on the inside of my right forearm. Maybe tattoo it there.

  4. I’m actually having the opposite experience: I’m seeing what was obvious to my rational side, but not obvious to my anxious side. The things I regret, are the things I (potentially) missed out on, because of my wariness due to my own experiences… I saw potentially, because of any looking back through rose-coloured glasses, that may be going on (who knows what I would have gone on to regret, had things been different?), but I also know who I was as a kid – if that confidence had been retained, then I wouldn’t have missed out on certain things, because I would have been fine, regardless.

    So, Venus Rx in my 1st, is slapping me upside the head when it’s too late for me to really fix anything – not helpful.

  5. I have at times experienced the two-fold problem of glossing over how awful the person actually is and being shocked at who they think I am.

    Don’t get me wrong I can see them, I just try to explain away what I am seeing with excuses…I hate when I do that. I don’t know why I can’t let somebody be an asshole when in reality they are one.

    1. I’m laughing the way we do when something rings true. In tending to take all the blame i.e. responsibility in a ratty encounter (o i’m so great) I noticed it only made the Other free to continue being … an asshole. Omg, never would these words cross my mind let alone my lips. It’s so un-spiritual.
      But they did! so calmly, too.
      “Why did you say that?” asks my aggressor. I paused – why did I say that?
      “Because it’s true.”
      She was speechless, and I was honest, without malice.
      We can let somebody be an asshole – thanks for this! and I’m learning to know when to leave the room.

    2. I couldn’t have said it any better about myself. I have always done exactly what you described. Recently I’ve become aware of this tendency of mine and I’m working on it. Becoming aware of my blind spots has been liberating, but at the same time, it’s hurting my self esteem. I have Venus in the 1st opposite Neptune in the 7th.

  6. Oh – I have to add this as I sit here shredding about 20,000 “please give money” mail solicitations; one area I really get crossed up with this square is in donating money (Venus) to causes/needs/anyone or anything suffering (soooo Neptunian.) One well crafted pitch and I’m in – for the dime AND the dollar. I don’t feel disillusioned per se but I know I can get carried away; my husband, on the other hand, has Venus conjunct Neptune – in Scorpio – (versus my square of Aqua Venus to Scorp Neptune) and this at times does not please him, this little trait of mine!

  7. On second thought, I do get a little disllusioned about it. Okay, sometimes a lot disillusioned. I receive yet another heartbreaking solicitation to help children or animals or anyone else in need and I think, “no matter how much I give, it’s never going to be enough. I will never be able to stop this suffering.” Sometimes this gets to me horribly and I just – die a little.

    (Another light goes on upstairs; it’s blazing up there today.)

    1. I have moon neptune saturn conjunct libra 7th house..Pisces Asc..go to your room and don’t come out till you’ve got it figured out..alot of Journaling helps fog lift

  8. All I can say is that having that veil up is a pain in my behind, and everyone else’s as well, I bet.

    Glad it’s going down, but it’s [ or me, I guess ] is taking its sweet, sweet time..

  9. I’ve spent the majority of my life living out the negative aspects of the Venus-Neptune & Venus-Saturn squares I have. This can be a very dangerous thing, constantly living in your own incredibly subjective reality.

    It was through my consultations with you Elsa, and a year of very long, hard, and intense internal work & growth that I realized how to turn this around. How to transcend this and work its positives so that I have a healthy & loving life.

    With Neptune being the only one taking up residence in my 7th, I get hit pretty hard in the love area as well. Realizing that it’s not just THEM but ME too has literally made me turn my life around. I always viewed myself as the “victim” without owning my shit and taking responsibility for the part I played (as I had deluded myself into thinking I didn’t do anything wrong). The wake-up call hurt, but you can’t transform your reality without dealing with that hurt ya know?

    Getting rid of that veil is never easy, but it’s certainly life changing once you are able to.

  10. @Tam – I have the same problem. It’s like I play up the good in order to completely downplay the bad, when in reality, the bad totally outweighs the good. In my disillusioned reality I couldn’t accept that they are indeed just an asshole.

  11. Oh man I guess I shouldn’t post when I’m so tired LOL I actually have Venus-Neptune in Opposition.

    Being pretty much a newbie to Astrology I have a question and would soooo appreciate any insight!

    Would the opposition rather than the square make this even more pronounced in ones life? Basically, is the opposition harsher or gentler than the square when it comes to how it all plays out?

  12. You mean trine to Neptune, right?

    The natal aspect I’ve most learned about since I’ve been on ElsaElsa is my Venus square Neptune and it has helped a great, great deal. I don’t mind being disillusioned as long as I’m informed about the consequences.

  13. Tam and EtherealSoul . Me too and EtherealSoul my neptune is also in 7th alone. Mine opposes Saturn and I look forward to hearing someones answer to your question 🙂 Isn’t this an awesome place. Real people, real experiances and real support. 🙂

  14. I fell asleep for a while earlier (I had a bad day, bad news, and was up all of Friday night, and most of Saturday), and woke up thinking about this again.

    As I said above, I have the opposite happening, in a way, but I don’t like being encumbered with feelings that I don’t know what to do with, because it’s too late. I don’t have Venus/Neptune, unless there’s something I don’t know about in minor aspects, but I have Neptune in the 2nd, and Jupiter trine Neptune and my Midheaven. My whole life, I have seen both the rational side (and owning my stuff), and dealt with the irrational/anxiety since the age of five (it built up from there).

    It’s funny that happens: I woke up thinking about Neptune in my 2nd, a couple of days ago, after thinking about my chart, certain things that I’ve been through, and wondering why it took me so long to get through most of it (I’m not finished), when it seems as though my chart was *built* to deal with it, if you know what I mean. I have an Aries Sun, conjunct Chiron and Ceres – I’ve dealt with a crushed sense of self, felt totally separate from who I was as a little girl, and built myself back up. I’ve also had a lot of support from people who love me, who didn’t push me, but I can’t understand why I didn’t push myself, because I usually get stubborn when it comes to issues that can be dealt with.

    I woke up thinking of Neptune in my 2nd, because I realized just how skewed my sense of self had been – and how my wariness of others, wasn’t deserved by everyone (something I’ve always known, but on bad days, had to fight anxiety – and I had a lot of bad days, and still do). Sometimes I feel irreparably broken, and other days I feel absolutely fine.

    Thinking along the lines of what I’ve written, about both the rational and irrational, I wonder if that could be a Saturn/Neptune thing – Saturn in the 9th, square Jupiter, Mercury and Pluto (chart ruler – that sounds as though it could also contribute to the negativity, but I know that it has its positive side). Sorry for the essay.. this has just been on my mind.

  15. Hi all, I have this kind of problem with disillusionment: Especially at my work place, but also in general in life, many people think that they know the “truth” about me. For example, my very Christian boss thinks I am very Christian, because i am nice person, and only Christians can be nice persons… You get the idea? Then, when they find out, that i am different than their image about me, they get angry to me.. like it would be my fault!?! If someone creates an image in his/her mind, and it doesn’t correspond with reality, it is not reality’s fault. This phenomenon is irritating, and happens quite often. Any ideas how this could be prevented?

  16. when i wasn’t getting the things i needed in my relationship… i was just wishing that he would change, or do this and that, but it wasn’t until i dropped the veil and started changing my own actions that i started to get what i needed..!

  17. 4got to mention i have neptune conj asc… i’m starting to create those lines to help define my figure. I now see how important it is to be clear with what i say and say what i mean!

  18. @EtherealSoul, I have the opposition too. Don’t think its any less harsh but maybe a bit more obvious if that makes sense. The square is usually an aspect of inner tension, not easily understood while the opposition – being more of a search for balance between two opposing poles (self v. other) tends to be more open and to directly involve other people. Having said all that – I have broken my own heart many times, those Rose-coloured glasses are very addictive!

  19. Tam, I’ve gone through the same thing and now I give myself a “mental slap” whenever I find myself making excuses for anyone (that also includes myself).
    It’s strange that I always have tried to see the best in a person and avoid seeing the whole package and yet I’ve had some very important players in my life who only look for any fault they can find with me.
    Those people are being phased out of my life.

  20. This girl. I enjoy learning to manage my expectations and changing relationships and situations for the better, or at least changing my perspective. A lot of that ability comes from your insight, Elsa. Thank you

  21. I remember Neptune via transit was hitting my natal and progressed Venus. Boy, did I have my rose coloured glasses on. It didn’t just mess with my heart; it messed with my mind too. I could conjure up logic to explain away this person’s behaviour. Neptune-Venus is like drinking love potion #9.

  22. Avatar
    Kelly Thompson

    I have natal 16 Venus Cancer square 23 Libra Neptune and realized this exact issue in last ten years. I’m very idealistic and have high standards for everyone. A pattern of disillusionment over a lifetime. I started adjusting my expectations on myself but especially others. I was raised on the New Testament and experienced extreme fundamentalist indoctrination. Deconstructing that has taken all my life. It interrupted the development of an adult psychology. Im gaining in clarity, connecting all the dots, and moving into integration. I also gave 21 Cancer Uranus square Neptune natally which I understand is generational? That aspect involves betrayal trauma and the bottom line is betraying myself, blind spots, and learning to trust myself. Thank you for this piece Elsa.

  23. I’ve been trying to close out a modest Solo 401(k) from a major brokerage and the disillusionment is EPIC. I’ve been through 4 “expert representatives” so far and each one has led me astray, told me to fill out different forms… it has been MONTHS. I’m tearing my hair out in frustration. The Corp. doesn’t bother to adequately train the people, just hand them a phone. I could scream. It is happy to take deposits but just TRY and take your money OUT and suddenly the system is throwing up roadblocks.
    I naively assumed major financial institutions knew what the Hell they are doing!

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