Elsa calls Venus- Pluto contacts ‘corpse alerts’ to signify the resurrection of past relationship partners (whatever those relationships may have been), but for some of us it can also signify the resurrection of doubts and insecurities in a current partnership. Any artifice in a relationship’s exchange – false ideas of what’s being given and taken – will re-emerge.
If you overextend yourself to satisfy your partner, out of any fear that what you’re naturally capable of isn’t enough or lovable, this tension and doubt may easily turn to resentment. Do you feel like you give and give and receive little in return? It’s time to look at the root motivation.
On the other hand, you may have been lying to yourself or your partner about what it is you want from the relationship. These insecurities may bubble up to the surface at this time as well. They may find a particularly forceful expression now, either externally or internally. If you push the expression down, refuse to feel the things you don’t want to feel – the anxiety, fear, unworthiness all gets projected outward, onto your partner and our environment. We must remember that this bottling-up ultimately only magnifies the unwanted feelings. Repression may take you to the end of your rope here – avoid tearful, dramatic scenes where you demand of your partner the validation you refuse to give yourself.
The question is not, ‘when will I be good enough for you,’ it is ‘when will I be good enough for myself?’. Acceptance ends the plague of insecurities; you are always already enough.
“The question is not, ‘when will I be good enough for you,’ it is ‘when will I be good enough for myself?’. Acceptance ends the plague of insecurities; you are always already enough.”
Ohhhhh….Venus Saturns need this. (I’m a Cap Venus.) The struggle is real, lol.
Seriously, it is.
I like corpse alerts. They are good reminders. Sometimes they are good and sometimes they remind us.
Glad it was useful to you, Allie! I also just love the phrase ‘corpse alert’. Hope you’re hangin in, despite the struggle.
I am Venus in Capricorn too and concur. I am finding meditation extremely helpful in accepting myself as I am. Hang in their Allie!
Great subject Caitlin. Wish I was aware of these “Corps Alerts” a long time ago. Would have saved me a ton of grief.
I keep getting revisited though by one person whose Pluto is square my Sun. Very annoying too. The other (His Venus conj. my Moon Pluto) felt like it was a life or death situation if he did not approve of or love me. Now after five years of working to get over him (apart from in dreams where he does show up, yet unaknowledges me) I am free! If he were to come back during a “Corpse Alert”, I’d have to start healing all over, but I’d probably slam the door in his face first!
I’m confused is this current now?
Pearl, the trine is separating. I thought this may be useful for dealing with anything that’s come up. 🙂
Yeah it’s been a tense couple of days with lots of feels. My man and I have tried our best to work through it
Great explanation. Thank you ?
Pluto penetrating the falsehood or weakness of a relationship….makes total sense.
I love the positivity of this post. Really beautiful.
This makes even sense in synastry. Unlike all the articles that I read about this aspect in synastry, this is not a binding love connection, but rather something that can end up being very uncomfortable and just hurtful. Especially if no other Venus-Mars connections are present in synastry. One person will be left behind with the feeling that their all was not good enough in the end and the only way out of it, is the realization that we are good enough, but this person is not the one that was meant for our “good enough” us. This aspect even in synastry, ends up being a lesson.
Really good insight, Elvira! Thanks for sharing.
Absolutely! Well put Elvira.
Ohhh! I wondered why old stuff bubbled up right now, and why I was so easily butthurt.
Excepting yourself is the hardest thing to do, but most rewarding.
Love this post. Really needed this.
Love, love, love
Thanks, Sunnysadge 🙂 I’m glad to be able to share this with you all!
Very well said.
Good reminder of people-pleasing problems. I think also valid on different levels and in many types of relationships.
Better be imperfet and real than faux-perfect and foo’ed up.
Thanks for this post Caitlin!
Thanks, Satsun– and amen!
Does this count if Pluto is trining your natal Venus? I was hoping to meet a serious partner!
Kirsten, that’s certainly a possibility. The external reflects the internal, and vice versa. If a serious partner is what you’re looking for, readying yourself spiritually and emotionally is important work at this time. If you are ready and taking these steps, sometimes patience is the key (definite Pluto-Venus theme). Hope your Pluto transit is a rewarding time for you. 🙂
I wish I could say becoming aware of my people-pleasing compulsion and working to dismantle it has led to my feeling more happiness but that would be a lie. It is a less exhausting way to live though
Scottish, glad to hear your take. Yes, sometimes the work itself is the reward. Something that humbles me to keep in mind is that we are only entitled to our actions, not their fruit. Sometimes it’s hard to see that as enough.
More than sometimes. I don’t see wanting to feel relief from pain as entitlement. It’s just a primal desire to find release from anguish.
No, not entitlement in that sense, that’s just how I’ve heard the sentiment phrased. Meaning that our actions must be ends in themselves.
SFS… saw your comment thread about resentment in relationships. I
Did you watch the new Chris D’Elia special where he talks about love or something that you brought this up? 🙂 he talks about how love is resentment and discomfort to balance out what would be too much joy.
Significantly, so many of our popular comedians have capricorn moons or virgo influence.
I was always flooded with comedy that was very negative about relationships (Chris Rock, Louie, pretty much anyone…) and tonight also saw some depressing stand up. Only this website bullish is about relationships. Also the modern love column often is. I was surprised how people on here say totally different things than the funny shows or sitcoms i watch (which obv thrive on conflict) or stand up or romantic comedies.
Comedy comes from so much pain and honesty. I dont know which end of my ass is up, i used to think familiarity bred contempt and the melding of people is destabilizing. I see married men of all ages with no pictures of their wives on facebook or checking out girls 23 and younger. It makes me angry and betrayed.
When men explain things like this or talk about it among themselves they have a quiet logic. I also end up on stuff like taketheredpill reddit sometimes which i shouldnt.
Wasn’t aware of the Chris D’Elia special Kri. I love Chris Rock. Always felt I could relate to men far more than women in terms of how stifled they feel in relationships and how resentful they seem to feel in relationships even with people they say they love.
But that could be because I’ve experienced so many controlling people.
Maybe yeah.. I find that part of the friction is that people don’t like or want the same things and have the same habits.
It’s weird about the resentment thing… it’s just this huge stereotype of the whole naggy unsexy relationship… Love, New Girl, all the series I watch either play it out or promise to. Pretty sure Seinfeld covered it. I also fight people when I stay with them for too long. But I have trouble compromising or doing things I don’t want to do… I got physically sick being asked to watch football games or hang out with fratty guys :/
you should listen to Richard Pryor Craps After Hours… that’s a favorite of mine.
I have Venus opposition Mars so I tend to play out anger and push pull even with people who have a harmonious Venus Mars. I do find something to get very resentful of in the people I attract even as I like them. Gah 🙁 When they like me more I seem to be looking around for a better model, when I like them more I’m pathetically doing desperate feminine wheedling and sulking. Is it that I’m never satisfied? Or maybe never fully satisfied because I have a lot of baggage
I was reading this and thought of your thread.. people here didnt mention this period https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/ask-bear-oh-no-im-losing-interest-my-partner
Also SFS, i still say you might try moving somewhere with a strong community or traveling somewhere. I felt eased in Scotland even if i didnt get any.
It’s an amazing place, Kri. I felt happier there too.
I know several people with Venus aspect Pluto and I have to say from what I have seen even the trine isn’t an easy aspect in this case. Same for Moon aspect Pluto. I just think that Moon and Venus energy don’t really go well with the Scorpio/Pluto/8th house theme. Even Moon is considered to be in fall in Scorpio and Venus to be in detriment in Scorpio.
Good note on detriment and fall, Anna!
Do you do consultations Caitlin? I’m sorry to ask that here. I tried to pm but couldn’t figure that out.
Libra Noir, shoot me an email at [email protected]!
Thank you. I’m not ready at the moment for one but wanted to keep you in mind for the future:)
By pendant i mean crystal on a rope. And also a rose quartz by her bed for self love and good sleep
Where is your stellium, Caitlin? Just curious
By golly, I think you’ve hit it. Thanks for wording it for me. I am in a Pluto opp natal venus transit. Like pluto opp my moon wasn’t enough. But a good precursor.
All this stuff peeling off with my repeated response, ye gads what I bought into. Am I good enough for myself? I think that is the ticket. Pluto opp natal moon helped me to give up taking the other’s whoopin personally. It’s kinduv a boundary thing too I think. That’s them. So what, let it go. But now, it irks me a little when people take what I say personally. It’s not about them like it was not about me. Backwash. Aaaargh!