“Oh, for Christ’s sake,’ I hear. ‘Can we please just try to have a good time?’ This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn’t work. I’ve tried it.”
–David Sedaris
I got married before I knew anything about astrology. By the time that my level advanced to a point where I had information about wedding charts I was already divorced. Yesterday there was a thread on the boards that prompted me to take a look at the chart. Considering primary elements of a wedding chart, I was surprised at how NOT bad it was. There were actually many wonderful things about my marriage, but the things that were bad were horrid.
Many of the things I considered rotten in my marriage sprung from problems in our synastry, and our own individual quirks. But I remember immediately after marrying that the energy between us felt absolutely new and different, night and day. Outside of picking a wedding chart that is minimally acceptable for any wedding, it should be considered how it will fit with each of you and whether it has a general energy that is supportive of the life you wish to lead together.
Uranus ruled the 7th house in the wedding chart, and was conjunct Juno (commitment), Neptune (confusion, diffusion, illusion) and Mars (action) all aspecting Pluto (a favorable aspect, but still…). The conjunction fell in the 6th house, which was less problematic than an angular house. However, Uranian energy is uncomfortable to me. I tend to consider it discord rather than revolutionary and I had a negative reaction emotionally to that energy.
The energy of marriage took a distinctly Uranian turn and was all wrong for me. There was more space than I wanted in our marriage. There was no more hand holding and he didn’t even like sitting on the same sofa with me. Our individual charts are much more watery than the wedding chart. Space became a lack of warmth. A lack of warmth became a failed marriage, because neither of us related to the marriage we had created.
Outside of finding a generally good date for marriage, astrologically, it is also important to make sure the flavor of the chart matches your hopes for the marriage itself.
Have you looked at your marriage chart after the fact? Did you like what you saw?
yes – but we can’t remember what time we got married haha. I think I have an invitation around somewhere….
No, cause I don’t know how but I’ve looked at the separate charts and here is what I saw – I posted this at Kypria last night after Jeremy posted ‘Field of Orcus’ –
Twas Romance
by Another name:
A pair
of star-crossed Lovers.
How heedless
indeed was I.
My Orcus squared my Juno;
His conjunct
my sweet Midheaven;
Full square his
Saturn set
upon my eclipsed Sun.
Excuse my ignorance Satori…is the marriage chart a chart drawn up for the exact year (or day) that the marriage ceremony took place, or the composite chart? I would really like to know so that I can draw up my own marriage chart and see WTF is going on:)
it’s really simple: it’s the chart of the moment you got married, the “I do” part. say your wedding started at 7pm, but the intro part was about ten minutes long, use 7:10 as the “birth time”, with the city where the wedding took place as the birthplace. aaaaand, the wedding date is the birthdate (of your marriage).
This is something I have been thinking about lately because my bff just told me she is getting married the 24th of april..this year. And with the shitload of planets in Aries I am worried. Good thing I guess is her natal venus and mars in aries. Her guy has libra moon. Atleast the 24,the sun is in taurus. It’s just going to be an religous ceremony, it’s in their homeland. Don’t know if they will do the paperwork before or after, does the paperwork count more than the ceremony?
Great post Satori!!!!
Very intresting that a simple transition can change the relationship dynamic that much.
But def seen it before.
Ohhh okay, got it. Thanks for explaining that Satori!
Can’t remember the time of day we said I Do. After our move I will dig out the Marriage License and see if there is a time on it quite possibly I still have one of the invites that will have the time for sure.
Just looked at mine: a mutable grand cross and a grand air trine. Gemini rising. Huh…
Cross between Jupiter opposing Pluto and Moon opposing Mars; trine with sun, Uranus, and Jupiter. Saturn trine Neptune, and four planets retro.
All that being said, there’s a shit-ton of trines and sextiles, too. Certainly explains a lot. *shrugs*
Never thought of looking before, satori. Thanks!
Wow, Just did and am not surprised:0( Mutable on the angles. Ruled by mercury. Mercury made tons of good aspects but opposed pluto.
most of the planets involved in oppositions from 11th to 5th. As saturn took another trip back through its 1st house our divorce was final.
You got me thinking, Satori, of the fact that it used to be – maybe still is – very important to cast such a prenuptial chart in India. Which leads one to wonder upon what basis one might construe aspects as good or bad, because it would depend what you were looking for, like prosperity or lots of children or whatever. I think we tend to think along personal romance and compatability lines nowadays.
Very interesting!! I just looked at our marriage chart. Juno in Cancer conjunt Mars in Cancer in the 10th house involved in a grand water trine to Scorp moon in the 2nd and Pisces Venus in the 6th house. hmmm I think that is good,lol.
Looking at this made me cry. The sun was in Gemini, moon in Scorpio, ascendant Virgo. Mercury, venus and Saturn all conjunct in the eleventh house Cancer; all in a grand trine to mars in the seventh in Aries, moon in Scorpio in the third. Uranus is on the cusp of the seventh house, pisces. Moon squares Neptune in the sixth. Chiron in the fifth house, opposing Saturn in Cancer.
Yep yep yep.
ThankYou Satori Great Post As Usual !!!
Being happy is something you have to learn. I often surprise myself by saying “Wow, this is it. I guess I’m happy. I got a home I love. A career that I love. I’m even feeling more and more at peace with myself.” If there’s something else to happiness, let me know. I’m ambitious for that, too. – Harrison Ford.
Blessings!!!
This is amazing! a good tip! thanks a lot Satori!
I remember doing my wedding chart once and the Ascendant was like just 2 degrees off from my natal ascendant, which surprised me. I don’t remember much else about it so this has inspired me to look at it again!
thanks for bringing up this topic, satori! I have never been married but have spent enough time on the boards reading about marriage and synastry that I am going to go out of my way to pick the best date possible with a professional when (if?) I ever get married! I have picked one friend’s wedding date based on April Elliott Kent’s rules and so far so good.
Yes I did use electional astrology picking a first meeting date with the new man in my life 🙂
Venus, Moon and Neptune conjunct in Sagittarius in the 7th all sextile Mercury, Jupiter and Pluto in Libra in the 5th. Didn’t choose the date/time for astrological purposes, but it’s turned out really well. 😉
Like you, I looked after I was divorced. It was a ten year marriage, and over all the chart was good, and the marriage was good over all, too.
It had a really different feeling than before we were married, and I preferred the 5 years before.
“This is something I have been thinking about lately because my bff just told me she is getting married the 24th of april..this year. And with the shitload of planets in Aries I am worried. Good thing I guess is her natal venus and mars in aries. Her guy has libra moon. Atleast the 24,the sun is in taurus.”
That’s my birthday, and while normally I’d be all “yay!”… yeah. My suggestion in their case would be to time the ceremony so that the stellium lands in the seventh house. If that’s doable at whatever time they are at, I suppose.
now i have to go digging around for my marriage certificate. but am very interested to see what we get. thanks, satori!
Mine’s really weird – on the face of it I feel it should have been good – even very good, but maybe I’m reading it wrong!
Asc in late degree of Leo, Sun, Mars and Venus all tightly conjoint in Aries H9, Moon and Mercury conjoint at 4˚ in Pisces H8, Jupiter and Saturn tightly conjoint in Libra H2, with Pluto there too H3 – Pluto and Saturn both Rx.
Uranus Rx in the final degree of Scorpio H4, Neptune Rx H5 in Sag.
Chiron conjunct MC in Taurus exact!
That’s it… No oppositions at all… quite a few inconjuncts, and just 2/3 trines or sextiles. Just not enough going on maybe? Too many groups of planets conjunct, and not relating to one another? It did tend to veer from one thing to quite another in a weird kinda way, then just imploded. We didn’t fight, in spite of all that Aries – it wasn’t that kind of marriage.
Satori, I probably feel now as you did then. My s/o selected our wedding date and neither of us gave much thought to the astrology behind it. I actually had a better date in mind that was perhaps more favorable overall, but we didn’t pursue it.
After the fact I realized that we had Pluto in a tight square to our Marriage Sun. Ouch! This natal aspect has been aggravated through the course of 2009 and 2010 thanks to hard transits from Saturn, Uranus and Jupiter, all of which I have been tracking. I’ve jokingly said that we should get divorced and remarried. The former seems inevitable at this point, but I don’t know so much about the latter.
Oh Satori…I felt every word of this deeply,I had almost the very same thing go down.Divorced before the astrology and now that I look at the chart,it’s a horrible mess which didn’t work with our synastry very well either.I was reading Elsa’s post on the wedding chart and googled and came to yours 😀 So I had to look up my own marriage chart and I found there is a “square key”(including mc/ic),1 grand cross,one with mc/ic , 2 rosettas, 1 mystic triangle and 1 with mc/ic involved,and one extra t-square aside from the grand cross.This was actually only 3 days before my birthday too.It didn’t end very well.
I’m researching. This will be my third and final marriage. I’m going to study my first two wedding charts before setting a date for my December wedding.
My natal wedding chart was a train wreck: 10H Cap Sun and SN opposite 4H Cancer Moon and NN; 8H Scorpio Pluto and Saturn conjunction squaring 11H Cap Venus and Mercury; unaspected Mars in Aquarius 12H. Feel the love? Yeah, I didn’t either. However, this chart could suggest a decent collegial relationship. The marriage was just that.