Jeez, guys. I have new problem. It’s disturbing. I can’t recall ever writing about something like this though I admit it may be an old problem in new clothing. I have a (new) shadow.
I was was going along, enjoying my life quite a bit. A woman entered it, stage left. That’s my Venus in Leo, talking. A new person walked on stage in my life.
It’s no one here. This is real life, I’m talking about.
All of the sudden, everywhere I went, this woman was there. Next thing I knew, I no longer enjoyed ANYTHING I was doing. I just couldn’t find a way to interface with this woman without wanting to withdraw…which is ultimately what I did.
When I withdrew from the first thing, I did so, quietly. I actually don’t think anyone knows I’m gone. This is because it’s a yearly thing…next year, I just won’t be there.
The next time I withdrew, it caused a scene. It’s been six weeks and it’s still causing a scene. This was not deliberate. I just have enough problems and being around this woman is so draining, I realized that I could and should spare myself.
I am currently withdrawing from a third thing. No one is happy, but here again, I was there, she showed up and shortly after, I feel I need to leave just to be able to breathe.
Now Saturn is headed into my 12th house. It’s fair to say, I was going to disappear one way or the other. I have cause to do this. I have the trump card from hell. So what is the deal with this woman? Why would she be part of this picture?
To clarify, I’m suggesting I would very likely have had to resign from all these things anyway, due to personal challenge. Maybe not! I was happy doing this stuff…it fed me. So if I got some kind of boost out of it, I guess it’s possible it would have provided me some kind of lifeline or escape. But that’s definitely not possible with this gal around because I’d go as far to say I dread walking in a room, when I know she’s there. If I am the least little bit upset, I actually feel ill around her.
What is this? I guess it should be obvious, but it’s not.
I did ask someone who has some awareness of the situation. She said she’s just an energy drain. It’s not like I don’t accept this but how does a person drain energy to this degree?
There are times, I swear, I would walk a mile to avoid her. Is it possible to be allergic to someone? She’s my Kryptonite.
Yes there are people that are energy drainers…we call them psychic vampires.
I would look this up to see how to protect yourself.
they are exhausting!
Hugs!
Has this person done something to you? Is she following you? or do you ladies have friends in common and just wind up in the same places because of these mutual friends?
The only time I felt this way was when I was really upset at someone for breaking my trust and I kept it to myself. Being in the presence of this person drained me for days. But once I confronted them, it all went away.
I can imagine a situation like you describe. Anger. I do have that, but it’s far more pervasive.
She’s attracted to me, wants to be like me, has been very flattering, admiring of me, to the point of looking at me, stars in her eyes, eyelashes blinking so she can learn from me?
I stare at her blankly, because lady, that ain’t my currency! She’s done this more than once and what I feel is, TERROR.
But she does other things. She constantly tries to spend more time with me…inspire me with her ideas she’s had, thanks to me. I don’t like the ideas and have zero interest. She takes something I did or started and then tries add to it or put her own name and/or spin on it. I’m always floored at her lack of insight.
It’s like you spend two years baking a cake and she comes and puts lime jello on top it and says, Ta da!
It’s not that she does not have skills and talent. She does! What she lacks is chemistry, at least when it comes to me.
She also does do things I don’t like…like gossip. I have said this a million times, I don’t like gossips. I just don’t like it and when you constantly gossip to me, I like you less and less and less and less until I don’t like you at all. I mean, I know I can’t trust you, everyone (that I might like) knows you can’t be trusted. I don’t mind being cordial, but I don’t want to be associated.
Then there’s the manipulation, or the attempts to manipulate. Man, you don’t have to be a genius to figure this out about me – if I don’t want to do it, I’m not going to do it. The more you push me, the more stubborn I’ll become, because I’m going to always run my life and I don’t like help with this!
Besides all this there is the emotional tone deafness. The last time I spoke to her, I told her I was in a state of despair and someone helped me.
Her response was to insult and denigrate this person who had just pulled me out of a pit.
I’m sorry. I just stared in disbelief. I don’t have time / energy / desire to “conversate” with a person like this, as they sometimes say around here. For me, it’s “Baby, where’s the door.”
I don’t think anyone has figured out it’s this one person running me off. I can’t even say for sure, that she is. Because I have that transit and it is real, for sure.
But I’ve caught on to this much – if she’s involved, I don’t want to be.
Ask yourself this: would you rather I maintain this blog or cavort with this woman? Because I can’t do both.
Got it! Sounds like a horrible situation to be in. I’d avoid her at all costs. Good luck!
About 20 years ago, I was attending an astrology class and there was a woman in the class who was a disturbance to the entire class. In fact, my first impression of her was “uh oh, someone to avoid.” My Pisces Sun/Pluto in the 8th instincts picked her out of the room as someone who had some mental problems. But she also turned out to be a problem for me. She had taken a liking to me (and, yes, it was a “like like,” as in, she was gay and I’m not). She’d wait for me after class and I tried to be nice to her and even offered her cab rides home. Thank goodness, when she realized that I wasn’t gay and that I had no attraction to her, she seemed to lose some interest. Once the class finished (which was about two months of this nonsense), I didn’t have to see her again, so that was that. Unfortunately, with some people, you do have to take yourself out of the situation where they will be seeing you all the time, and so far, it seems that that’s what you’re doing. Continue to pay her no attention or always be busy or in a rush if she does want to stop and talk. Somehow, you have to break the cycle of her thinking there’s something going on between the two of you.
You might check out St. Michael oils, candles, and protection spells. Also Fiery Wall of Protection oil or candles. If the feeling is that persistent and troubling I don’t even try to figure it out, just take steps to protect and not be around person’s energy. Psalm 23 prayer or amulet. You need to feel and be safe. We don’t always know what’s going on in these situations, it could be a heavy subconscious complex in the person we pick up on if we’re sensitive, or the person could have bad intentions and our instincts are telling us to scram.
Good idea re: Saint Michael. Thank you! 🙂
Listen to your instincts. This woman sounds bizarre. She is obviously a stress to your system, which no one needs, and an energy vampire.
I have something similar going on though to a far lesser degree. About three months ago I began wearing a small St Michael medal daily, and I do feel better, protected now.
Why so complicated? I use astrology to repel people. It’s astrology’s secondgreatest use. (The greatest is to supply me with excuses.) I know energy vampires, but I never had any stalker. Despite a heavily tenanted Seven. Although there is perhaps another explanation why I never had any stalker. All reports, which I know, are from women. Do only women get stalkers? Everywhere in the western world stalking is seen as a crime, which can be ended by legal action. But if we’re talking about something different, then annoy and repel people with astrology works well.
Tough energy. I have been there. The 12th house is about Astral Realms and this is a lesson on that. Sorry to hear it.
She is trying to absorb the essence of makes you ‘you’. I can see this person as being dangerous to be around for many reasons…is there a possibility of a past life connection? It seems to have all the elements of one gone bad and needing resolution. There are many ways of doing this without having further contact with this person. The St. Michael oils…..oh yes!!!
Yes, there is more. Much more. I have made it clear, (to myself) if she’s there, I’m out.
And she’s going to be there so I’m out.
This is the same as the post before. I’m to be cast in a different drama.
I like Conjured Cardea, she grows a lot of flowers and healing plants for her products and the oils, house washes, etc smell so fresh and fragrant. Angelica is a protective plant associated with St. Michael.
I have been in a similar circumstance. The energy is a form of inappropriacy, a lack of boundaries combined with an intentional dismissal of the reality of the situation while willfully refusing to accept reality again and again. I had to save myself and stop being friends. I don’t care if she was completely innocent, in the final weeks she was gaslighting me. It makes me mad just to remember, just a damn energy vampire disguised as a nice person.
Hi Elsa
I have had similar issues (not identical to your situation) involving females. Usually they are therapists of some description (acupuncturist/masseuse/dentist/psychological therapist). These are people I should be able to trust but it turns out they are weird and try to put their shit on me (their ideology/insecurities/blame for things I didn’t do). I don’t even know them very well. I have Jupiter in 8 house opp Neptune in Scorpio – not sure if that’s why.
Anyway what I’ve decided is that the challenge for me is to be able to tell these people (when they’re saying inappropriate things to me) that I am not in agreement or happy with what they are saying and that I’d like them to stop. Hard to do when they’re sticking needles in you/drilling your tooth/rubbing their oily hands up and down your body :-/ But I think I need to be more MUCH more assertive with these weird motherfuckers! This will be hard as I hate confrontation – hence my shadow is putting me in this situation I think.
Of course, this may not be your analysis of your situation… Have you told this person on no uncertain terms you don’t like what she’s doing?
I have been assertive with her. But no. No outline, because anything I say will be repeated, etc. In other words, I’ve pulled my horns in.
I need to do this. I am not fighting for position. This is more like eating at restaurant, the food makes you sick. Same thing happens at other restaurants. Eventually you just opt to stay home.
I knew a woman like that once. I almost felt like i needed to shower after being in the same room as her. I left the group and later found out she had some severe mental health issues that were not well treated and became a problem for the rest of the group.
I am uncertain that it matters why you need to pull your horns in. Maybe she is just a reminder for you to get going on the pulling in…
And yes.. There are people with bad energy.. They seem to be drawn to the more vibrant orthe more self assured because they are so lacking.. But do not understand it is inner work and self growth to get to the point of having and showing good energy. If you are gone she will move onto the next most self assured or vibrant or whatever she is severely lacking .. People from that circle will mention the fallout months or years from now..
“Maybe she is just a reminder for you to get going on the pulling in…”
Whether she is or she isn’t, I’m taking it this way. I need to get. She inspires me to get on with it.
A very tricky situation, where I can empathize with your emotional response to want to avoid this person.
My take on it is, that she comes from an unresolved past life connection in a lifetime where you were really, really badly affected or traumatized in some way in that life. In your life now, your soul, your subconsciousness, still vividly remembers the echo of this issue, hence your strong internal reactions when faced with being around her.
She will be an opportunity for soul growth for yourself, because she internally triggers you so strongly. For your soul and hers, there is unfinished business of a karmic nature involved!
If you dig deeper into why you are feeling triggered, e.g. Dig deeper within yourself for the root issue of your internal reaction, which may not have anything to do with this woman, you might be able to find the behaviorial patterning “key” in your makeup that you can focus upon bring into balance in this outer situation dynamic of this woman. You will have to face fears or short comings within yourself, rather than project the situation problem all onto her (which would be a mistake, from a self learning perspective).
This woman is just a test from the Universe, a vibrational opposite mirror if you like, of something inside you, a subconscious pattern, which if you can face, overcome and balance within yourself, you will succeed in dealing with this (“type of”) woman in your life properly! (Not necessarily an easy task though). She is just a lesson vehicle, that you have vibrationally drawn unwittingly into your life, to help you grow and know yourself better!
When we feel everything is just right for ourselves and our lives, the Universe gives us the next growth-healing lesson that we must face as souls.
Best of luck, in “knowing thyself” and in dealing with this woman in your life!
Cheers Shane 🙂
Black Moon Lilith in Sagittarius!
Frankly there are a lot of mentally ill people out there.
The dynamic is very much one I’ve experienced with my narcissistic mother
She either tears me down or builds me up, each extreme unwarranted & inappropriate. Yeah, she is the epitome of inappropriate
Once after an epic vampiric session of hers I was fairly hysterical and was crying & yelling out to my then boyfriend ‘she wants to destroy me’! I still am flabbergasted that I said those words.
But they were true words. I’m generally so not emotional like that. Of course when you have a vampire for a mother you learn to withdraw.
Eh. I’m still amazed at my reaction
My point being: this woman creates instinctive terror in you: you are smart enough to have nothing to do with her
She sounds indeed mentally ill. & you have no obligation to have anything to do with her.
She is trying to ‘get at you’, your essence, your very being. That’s the terror. I know that feeling. It’s horrible.
Oh boy! That brought back some memories of a lady that I used to be friends with until she became one clinging nightmare! She was in love with me and I don’t go that way. So she started dressing like me and wanted to be me and it got so bad that I exploded and ended the friendship. Yes, I say ALP her. [Avoid Like Plague]
Sorry this is happening.
I worked with a slanderer who loved to gossip. End result was I increased my ability to edit my conversation. Sometimes when watching a movie I will hear a line that could be useful in dealing with difficult people. Didn’t Oscar Wilde quip that “Life imitates Art?”
Your situation sounds weird and draining.
Please let us know how the St. Michael candles and oils work. I shall send your name to some prayer groups for the best possible resolution of this situation.
Me–I eventually got a transfer to a different location.
Would this phenomenon be particular to her with you or does she rub other people wrongly, too? If she’s weird to one, she may be weird to several others. There’s solace in numbers, knowing you’re not alone.
I don’t know. If I get together with others and talk about her, then I’m the gossip too.
I’m just pulling away. Astrology supports this choice.
Have you looked at your admirer’s chart at all Elsa?
No, I don’t have her data, but I know she’s a Leo.
You can often obtain free day-month-year birth information from online people searches, such as mylife.com.
Definite sicko. This would keep me up at night. Avoid her like the plague with no regret whatsoever.
Is black moon Lilith in Sag now, connected to the Saturn/Chiron square? I’ve been hunkered down after some sickening and toxic outbursts from some people I’ve tried to avoid and separate from, they’re like the Undead. I don’t think I realized how much these brief but traumatic incidents shorted out my system. I’ve started feeling ill and off course. I really think there are some destructive currents now and people who aren’t channeling their energy productively can be demonic. I’m being very inward and protective now. I want to heal without interference. I think some people now feel like they have a special license to unleash their venom just because they feel like it with no regard for those subjected to it.
Is the lady a, um, lesbian?
Don’t know why but this made me LOL!
I’m a gay guy, so I felt it wouldn’t be as blatant or offensive, since I am gay.
LOL!
I don’t think she is. Long time married; I just thinks she wants what I have and it’s scary because what she thinks I am / have is not real.
That’s another thing she does. She tells me what I’m thinking and feeling and how I don’t see…her vision of me.
I tell her she is wrong about me and I try to explain…
“There is a reason I live in the country,” I say. But true information like that does not register.
She basically wants to throw me up…and then shoot me down. I just want to walk the earth, pull weeds, pick tomatoes. If your imagination tells you different, what am I do to?
And then she’s angry when I don’t put on the paper doll clothing she’s made for me. As if I would ever wear paper doll clothing in the first place!
It’s all imaginary!
She sounds like she wants to suck all your energy and magical powers, or whatever! Creepy.
My own family members treat me like this. So I don’t need any stalker to experience this. I’m used to it. It isn’t creepy. I also don’t wear paper doll clothing. But everything can be projected on a Pisces-ASC like myself. It has to be turned into an advantage. A long-term learning task for all Pisces-ASC.
.
My brother LOVES to cut my word. Because his Moon is in Leo?
I get this at a deep level …. someone draining my energy. I was trying to end this particular relationship, and had been able to put some distance between us. Then one day we both ended up at an event “around” each other the better part of a day. I was EXHAUSTED that night, totally DRAINED. I never had felt THAT BAD after being with this person. After reflecting I concluded that I was more sensitive/able to notice it more since I had not been around them, AND something triggered me that made me/my energy field vulnerable. At the advice of someone knowledgable in crystals, I used citrine quartz (held/put on skin) that night which helped “clear” my energy field. Helped immensely, albeit after the fact.
A huge wakeup call. I came to understand this person was actually sucking my energy – literally. I think it had been going on a while, this was just the first time I felt it and understood what was happening. From that point forward I was careful to protect my energy field, never left home without White Angelica on my shoulders and called on St. Michael when I needed help clearing/repairing my field.
It was a process, but now because I kept reflecting/clearing the crap that was triggering me from this person and I take care my energy of field (just like I brush my teeth), they have zippo effect on me. It is sooooo empowering.
Haven’t read all the posts/suggestion, but I swear by White Angelica (Young Living Oils) for energetic protection.
Elsa, I read your posts often but have never commented. I am grateful for your time and the effort required to create this amazing blog. I honor your honesty and authenticity. Namaste.
I know that situation and learned to be very strict with my boundaries. I suspect that your extremely high sensitivity at this time just will not tolerate someone trying to siphon off your vitality. Others call that woman an energy vampire, a label which trivializes her soul-crushing intentions. You are smart to avoid her. If you agree, I would not invest any more time or effort thinking about her. Cut every ribbon linking you to her. As the saying goes, cut her off. You are meant for a much higher purpose.
What a bummer. Creepy types are unfortunately very effective. It’s enraging.
I’m wondering if this is getting in the way of your social life (as perhaps your church activities) and ruining your relationship to other poeple you know in common.
I can’t tell if this person is conscious of her effect on you, doing it on purpose or not.
Maybe he’s jealous of you and her behavior is perhaps a way to run you off the territory if she thinks you are “competition” to her?
Whatever the reasons, good idea to keep away from her, unless that necessitates giving up entirely your social life (seing as she is everywhere)! Like, you didn’t move across the States to a nice place and end up being blocked by some stupid lady, what a frustration!
I wonder at the fact that you feel terror, as this is not your style. But if this woman is indeed ruining your social life, and you can’t make her leave, that gives her power, which is terrorizing. Like something where one is/feels helpless. Perhaps that terror throws you back to something similar which you have lived before.
Isn’t 12th hous connected to hidden ennemies? So, she is NOT hidden, which is better than if she were acting only behind the scenes, doing destruction without your even being aware of it.
I guess you could apply 12th house methods, but I don’t know what that would be.
The terror is that I am going to say something extremely harsh…then regret it.
On the other stuff, it’s true, this has affected my social life, but it’s also not true or at least it won’t be over time. The 12th house is about self-undoing. I must not undo myself over this woman, yes?
So what I am doing is setting up shop with perimeters she can’t (easily) penetrate. People come to where I am because the energy is rich, honest and life-giving/enhancing. I just don’t think she can stop me. I would have to stop me. And again, it’s time for me to withdraw. I really must. So I’m taking this as a positive, as I and others have alluded to, above.
I do think she is conscious of much of what she does.
I so get what you’re going through. In my single white female case I let loose on her and she didn’t bat an eye. I think energy is energy to a vampiric person, even if it’s negative. I think pulling away is the best thing. She won’t get it if you do tell her because she’s ultimately having a relationship with herself.
What a great comment, having a relationship with herself.
i used to have a friend like that.
i realized (after far too long) the was no value in engaging… my life because so much brighter after i got out of her range. and eventually she burned all her bridges.
what you are doing makes sense. assuming you can still sustain social interactions that feed you.
Oh yes! I understand the saying something harsh and regreting. (I’ve known this Libra-Mars type of thing that pops out uncontrolled and not necessarily at the right time, thus somtimes ineffective. And looking like a crazy person!)
Good thing that you are the one who chooses what to do, and leave her and her poisoned territory. Let the vampire bleed someone else.
And I agree 100% about “the energy is rich, honest and life-giving/enhancing”!
Stay away from her Elsa!
My short take: she’s attracted to your bright light. Which she def does not have herself, so she wants to feed off you. Creepy for sure. Some people like that have such a facade that others believe they’re actually nice.
She wants what you have…your energy. The dark is attracted to the light. 86 her…which sounds exactly what you’re doing. You could talk til you’re blue in the face & she still won’t get it.
Ooohh I just had a thought. Look up cutting the cord between yourself and another. Sever those cords she’s sending out to you.
Sorry you have to deal with this Elsa. Good luck!
Sometimes people who are closed or not very aware are threatened by someone who radiates positive, life-affirming energy and openness. They want to shut it down and bring it to their own level. Sometimes when I experience a healing or set on a new course, some “drainbow” may show up and try to tear me down. If I’m not vigilant or strong enough, they can affect me and I have to rebuild. Congratulate yourself on detecting these tear-down people and protecting yourself.
Elsa, ALL the details of her behaviour that you’re describing show a heavy Narcissistic Personality Disorder person (flattering, gossiping, no emotions, no empathy, no understanding of others, putting others down cunningly, nasty, draining, manipulative etc etc). Be certain that she’s spreading tons of untrue gossip about you behind your back, in the guise of “concern” about you… This type is extremely devious, there’s no way to fully foresee in what other ways she’ll try to harm you.
I also find it yucky to be in the vicinity of NPDs (who doesn’t!). I’ve read that one way to deal with them is to state to them direct consequences (e.g. “if you do X again, then I’ll do Y”). I’ve read they have the mentality of a 4-year-old, so they only understand kindergarten rules, otherwise they’re dangerous. In fact, they’re dangerous at all times; they’re very poisonous people who wreak havoc in any community they find themselves in. Wishing you strength with this awful woman!
I thought about this, about the 12th house of undoing. reading your words, and the way you feel about this person,shows how strongly empathetic you are. I have also read that 12th is hidden enemies. the enemy is usually self from what I discover. I don’t feel heavy feelings or feelings of suffocation, irritation from anyone unless they exhibit the same things I dislike about myself. I had to get into myself and understand my own weird psychology.
:DDD. I know this problem. How someone can tap into me like that I do not know. I am prone to thinking that there is something I need to get rid of to cut the tie, the tap in. It’s work but sometimes necessary.
Update – I have successfully pulled out of all activities that put me in the same room with this gal. I feel SO MUCH BETTER.
I feel wonderful!
She has emailed me…in regards to my husband who she could email directly. She was checking on his involvement with her (imaginary).
I told her (the truth), our kids were visiting for the next two weeks and we have no plans at all other than to work and spend time with them.
Not sure where she’s going to feed now but the way I feel now…I will definitily be maintaining some distance from her. 20 feet?
The last time I saw her, she hugged me….and then stuck a knife in my gut, as far as I’m concerned. I have been having a good time with friends, citing all the things I might say, someday. They’re hysterical. So we’re having a good time now, instead of despair!
Maybe she is a psychic vampire. I have heard they do exist. Sounds exhausting though Elsa! I don’t blame you for leaving those situations but really, can’t someone say something to her?
I prefer they don’t.
I don’t need a mommy/daddy protector. Also, anyone who says anything about me provides her energy.
Far more effective to cease to exist.
Be as fort right with her as you can be. Focus on the tremendous relief you will feel when she is no longer following you.
I’m running across this, 3.5 years later. I have not seen this woman for 2 years or more. I’m so glad.
I relinquished the territory in order escape her. I can’t imagine going back.