What’s a zoomer age man looking for in regards to a serious partnership. Someone asked my husband this question… we also addressed it on this blog a number of years ago but what about now, in the right-now-today world?
If a young woman would like to marry and have children, how do you think she should go about trying to meet a viable prospect?
Is there an astro tie to this?
I doubt that a 20-something man is looking for something serious. But what do I know?
Glad I am off the market.
I agree. Times are different
the past 20-something values are more equivalent to 30+ now
I depends. I know of young men who are training in the trades, agriculture, or have completed their training and they are all in on getting land, a house, having a family. I think one needs to look in certain homesteading communities or other types of groups of young men. They’re out there.
She needs to look at the circles of places where these men are. The trades, agriculture, faith-based places…what do these men do in their spare time? What are they working towards now? What does the woman expect of a partner? What does she expect her partner to expect in her?
When I considered this question, I did think about how people are really socialized against marriage or getting serious in their 20’s. But the fact is, some people do marry in their 20’s and they tend to be very happy… they know exactly what they’re doing.
I want to be clear – I am specifically taking about NOW as in the last three years… five, tops. It was different ten years ago..
So the people who are marrying in their twenties NOW, seem not only happy but they know exactly what they want. The men, this is. They have seen all kinds of things… they want meaning in their life? I think it’s Pluto in Sagittarius. Meaning is deeply important. Chasing money is not enough for the type I’m talking about. They’ve grown up with so much porn – they’re saturated.
Now I know these men are out there. I work with them, but I also read them online. The young men who are married sound very similar to men of my era – they love their wives and they are very proud to have one. Then they have a baby and BAM! They are over the moon. If you don’t see this anywhere, you might want to look in some new places…
So this is the gist of the question. Let’s say there is a gal who wants this type of life. How can she find this kind of man out there in the sea?
Marriage has been soured for a long time. Hell, I never got married until I was 42, although I had been engaged in my late 20’s. But this isn’t about me as I’m not this demographic now.
I would think she’s got to be in or in proximity to where young marrying-type men are going to be, either their work or avocations/hobbies. I wouldn’t think she have a good chance finding one by going out to bars looking for one. Time is valuable. Places where men spend time working towards something, or if they’re just relaxing or blowing off steam, it’s something they just do as exactly that. I think maybe those kinds of places would be where she could find a man who is stable, self-directed, family oriented?
Specific places? Every says church/temple, volunteering, charity, organizations, the range…I don’t know right now.
I think she ought to be in places that make her happy doing the things that make her happy. I think it’s true that some people know what they want in their twenties and I think it’s a matter of keeping your radar on no matter where you are or what you’re doing. If going to church makes you happy and you find a man there that’s great. If you enjoy going out to have a drink after a long night at work and you find a man there that can also be promising. I think what I’m trying to say is the world can be more open right now. Just because you find a man in an unsuspecting place doesn’t mean he’s not a good one. I agree with people wanting deep true meaning and I think anyone with an open heart and keen eyes can feel the people they relate to from across the room.
For perspective- I am 27 and in my eyes I’m as good as married. I love the man I’m with deeply and he feels the same though neither of us have any desire to get married. It works for us.
As it has always been, I think she should focus on bettering herself (as should any man looking to attract a mate). Be an interesting person. Learn things, do things. Be around other people and surround herself with people she’d like to emulate.
Speaking from personal experience, it wasn’t until I stopped being desperate for a committed relationship (and other things) that I finally found them.
Definitely all this, too.