Hi, Elsa.My dreams are dying, the calling is still there and I’m trying to be okay with this.
I have a dream of going around town singing with a small jazz band. I would love to be surrounded by music and musicians 24/7. I’m quite good at it as I’ve been told many, many times. My thing is, I don’t just sing songs; I tell stories. I have the ability to emote with my voice. In this specific dream, I don’t have to be BIG; I just have to sing in front of people. It doesn’t have to lead me to riches, but I would love to be doing this and this alone and earning to live somewhat comfortably. That’s my dream.
The calling is, when I hear a live instrument, a voice inside bugs me until I’m up in front of people. I can’t help it. It eggs me on until I’m there. It always feels though, as if I encounter push back from life and circumstances that come up that push me away from this dream, time and time again; but the calling stays and it won’t shut up!
Lately, with everything going on in the world around me and in my personal life; I ask myself, what’s the point?
How do you keep dreams alive when it seems like everything is crumbling? I tell myself, maybe it’s just my ego; there’s a genocide going on across the globe. There’s censorship and people are facing severe hardships; why should my dreams even matter? When is it okay to come to terms with the death of a dream?
Pluto is tiptoeing into my eleventh house.
– Pepe in Costa Mesa
Hey, Pepe. I feel you here, and feel for you. I’m glad you mentioned a small bit your astrology, because it does offer insight into your predicament. You say your dreams are dying (Pluto in 11th). I say, your dreams are transforming.
I actually have your chart and it’s pretty interesting, in light of your problem. I see your, “Fixed” dream. I’m talking about Pisces rising and a number of planets in Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius. But I also see significant Virgo in your 7th house. You have the ability to “morph”, but I suspect you project it.
Saturn in Pisces is transiting your Virgo planets. You probably feel your age, feel blocked and such; you may even be judging yourself. But you have the ability to shift this.
Rather than letting your dream die, how would you feel about taking the “transform” option? Let’s say, you look around and see the same things you’ve been seeing but opt to futz with the math so things add up in a new way. Can you still sing? Of course. Your talent will remain intact so long as you practice. Does it have to be “all or nothing”? Many artists work a day job.
Is there a problem with the idea of getting some of what you want? Singing with a band on the weekends? My idea here is your dream is Fixed, but if you’ll accept less than what you want, you’ll still have most of what you want. Further, you’ll keep your skills up and who knows what happens from there.
To answer your other question, your dreams do matter. We should all be looking for our soul’s calling, but unfortunately there are numerous factors thwarting us at this time. You mentioned some of them.
I’m in a similar circumstance. Google prevents people from finding this site. I still write. Would I write more, if energy came back to me? Of course. But many of us are on a starvation diet right now.
Bottom line, if you think I should continue to write, then you should probably continue to sing. I also don’t like to let the energy back up on me. By the looks of your chart, you’d probably do well to consider this aspect as well.
In case I wasn’t clear, let me reiterate: I suspect you’re more adaptable than you think. It’s one of the things the Saturn transit would bring to the front.
Good luck!
I hear you. I thought my dreams died when Pluto opposed my 11th. They did (the ones I had then).
I changed. Change happened to me, and I happened to change. I have different dreams now, not quite so dreamy, a bit more real. But they’re mine and I’m living them.
You’re living until you’re dead. You might need to ‘tweak’ your dreams a little, but until you’re dead, you do you. You can’t do or be anyone else.
If l use Whole Sign houses – I’m Aries Rising – my dream of caring for animals was crushed.
I spent almost five years in the veterinary field only to have nothing work out.
I got a job in another animal related field though.
So yes, my dream seemed dead, but its transforming. Think of the Death card in Tarot.
i can feel your virgo seventh house guilt-how i can i be singing when the world is suffering?
you can and you should! there will always be suffering in the world. But just imagine if we suffered without any music to make us feel a bit better? One thing you could do to assuage that guilt is do some singing charity work! all the best xx
Thank you for your words!
I find this comment very kind; it makes me happy!
-Pepe
yay!
more singing = less suffering
it matters a lot!
Thank you! 😀
I was thinking about this this morning, I´ve been wanting to draw a Superman comic for over a decade now, without being able to do so, now I feel the character is obsolete, like my idea wouldn´t work, but dreams don´t die necessarilly, they transform into something else
I will sing! Please draw!
We need art now in these hard times!
xD yes let´s do our best, I´m beginning to practice sketching every day, even if it´s a random sketch, even if it´s 10 minutes, per a Clip Studio Paint tutorial I watched yesterday, maybe you can do the equivalent, like record yourself? create your own demo samples?
Thank you, Elsa for this take! I didn’t see it as a transformation, at first.
I definitely think you should keep writing!
I’m not a huge reader, but they way you write is very engaging to me and I always look forward to your newsletters and your view point on the current astrology “weather”!
-Pepe
Thanks, Pepe! I hope you get a break!
I’ve suffered through a similar thing. I failed Pluto’s transit to my Mars in the 12th house. I felt shipwrecked when Pluto hit Aquarius, I hadn’t learned the lessons, wasn’t sure about my calling, no transformation because of me. My mentors left, and the friends I worked to make. I finished a degree but barely moved an inch throughout Pluto’s transit. And kept not living by the values I drafted. Or rooting out my self-sabotage. No one will tell me who I am, my north node transit told me. There is plenty to doubt, I still don’t know what I want. I have Saturn on the MC and can’t keep freezing up or stalling my whole life.
I always dream to be the model who could walk in runway. Doing some high fashion. But realizing that i am only 5’2 ft girl with 62 kg weight. I know my dream is crushed down.
Until now, i still get haunted by my dream. The fact that i couldn’t be a walking runway victoria secret model still make me crying, screaming and angry to the point i get violent and start crushing things about me. I’m a Libra Sun, Taurus Moon who wants everything beautiful and artificial. But this Capricorn Rising with Taurus Saturn really told me to sit down because i even have hard time to get my meet ends.
I want to transform my dream. But i don’t know how to transform it for better. I still looking for the answer while everyday i wish i could kill myself because nothing more matter to me anymore. I lose faith and lose more resources because i have been invested so much into my faith. I feel like i want to end my life but i just cannot because i am scared to suicide. Thank you.
Welcome, Icha. I’m sorry you’re feeling low. I hope things inprove for you, and soon!