Hi, Elsa.
How do you deal with a chart that just says “ouch” in regard to relationships? I’ve always struggled with maintaining friendships and beyond that, I tend to become a target for scapegoating and gossip, especially in work situations. I’m married for 25 years and at this point he’s one of the last people I feel I can trust/lean on. I think other people have meant more to me, than I do to them.
Menopause makes me care a little less for socializing, but I would like to have stronger connections.
Libra Rising
United States
Hi, Libra. Your post interested me, greatly, I’ve sat on this for a few days, hoping for some revelation. It never came, but I feel for you in this situation. I’ll offer what I can and maybe someone else can weigh in. All I’ve got is conjecture, though it’s well considered.
When someone claims to have problems with others, the reason is often obvious. I don’t see that here. Your post is balanced and you own your problem. “I’ve always struggled…” I also believe you are scapegoated at work.
My sense is you’ve got some combination of elements that constellate, rapidly, in all situations. I’m getting, competent, challenging, aloof, striving… and you’re probably pretty. Shockingly, this is enough to blow an average person’s gasket.
I don’t want to project on you, but I have a friend who has this sort of problem. She also has Libra. She was recently ejected from a social group she’d been invited to join. Literally, they told her they no longer wanted her in the group. They voted her off the island, so to speak and they would not tell her why.
It was a group of “mean girls”, grown older, but my friend has experiences like this all the time. People get mad at her for reasons, so vague they can’t be explained. And I mean, they become enraged. In fact, I’ve had this experience myself! Meantime, she’s left looking around like “confused Travolta”.
My feeling is that you and my friend, fare best with a small inner circle of friends. It may not even be possible to contort yourself to the degree necessary to be accepted in a group over time. Or rather, it’s possible but you’d not be willing because it your true essence would have to cease to exist, to make it happen.
My advice is that you go for one friend. Someone outside your marriage, you can talk to. Because if you lose your husband, then what?
This friend needs a very specific quality or talent – they need to be accepting of you! They need to be okay with you and your energy. People with a strong sense of sense are your best bet.
Just to throw this out there, I also have problem to a lessor degree. I was fortunate enough to have my friend, Ben, explain this to me. He said, I put people in their “un-comfort” zone. How well a person liked me depended on how comfortable they were being uncomfortable. “It doesn’t bother me at all,” he added.
Many years have passed and I think he nailed this in my case. Your case is probably similar. You can have a friend. They just need to be strong and settled in their psyche, so to speak. Forget everything else and look for this one quality.
Ben is Ben, no matter who he is talking to. Elsa is Elsa, no matter who she is talking to. The group who ejected my friend wanted her to conform. Her integrity and strong sense of self would not allow it, so she was banished from their kingdom. I think you’re one of us!
Forget “friends” and look for a peer. Someone who can deal with an outlier.
Great advice, Elsa! I can relate to Libra, too. It’s one of the reasons I love this blog so much.
WOW. I’ve been going through the same thing. I’d give Libra Rising a big hug and be her friend.
Very good post. I have always had this issue, too. Very much appreciated, the idea of a ‘peer’ makes a lot of sense, my best connections have always been that.
I can relate .. i have Uranus, Jupiter and Mercury in Libra.
I get rejected from the groups after group … its not in my hand … I open my heart to them, I have Venus in Leo… but my friends starts crossing their boundaries… and when I stand up for justice, I get dumped with humility.
I can relate, I don’t put a lot of energy into relationships. I tend to get let down. I only have 2 people outside of family that I actually chat with. Usually they use me as a sounding board. If I do give my opinion its honest and people don’t always want to hear it. So I am alone since my husband died. Jupiter is in my 7th house this year. I was hoping I would meet someone I would just click with. It hasn’t happened for years. I have mars and neptune in libra in my 11th house. Scorpio sun mercury and saturn in the 12th. That equals to a lot of isolation. Sag asc , venus, moon and north node needs a friend to have fun with. I get bored easily.
i know its trendy right now, but it might also apply to you. could you be on the autistic spectrum? i had absolutely no idea why people would get annoyed by me, until much later in life i was told i have a flat affect and a resting bitch face. both are autustic traits.
I always like using affirmations. Maybe something about finding and connecting to the right people in your tribe. This way you get the right people for you, then be open and see who comes to you.
Crazy! I just went through this as well. I have Libra on the IC. Pluto is square it right now.
Elsa, thank you so much for this. It helps to know I’m not alone!
And you hit the nail on the head. I had one of those friends for years, she got me…but then she befriended someone who hated me on sight! Slowly but surely I got pushed out into villain land. This remains one of the greatest losses of my life.
Everything you said about your friend’s situation also mirrors my most recent experience…I’d been part of a women’s circle that started during the pandemic and it was my lifeline. While Venus was retrograde last year (in my 11th house) I watched the same old story (painfully) play out. It was very sudden and pointed and I felt that “cut”. Since then, I’ve struggled a lot with fear of never having others to lean on.
Thanks again for your wisdom and for everyone who shared <3