Why Do People Disrespect Me & My Boundaries?

Hi Elsa.

My whole life I’ve encountered men and women who try to dominate me, or play power games with me. I’m not actually the wimp I seem. I have a Capricorn sun and a Taurus moon but most people only see my Gemini ascendant and Venus in Aquarius. My husband is a Taurus. He’s never has these issues with people. People are very respectful around him.

Is there anything in a natal chart that causes a person to attract a lot of negative attention or boundary pushers?


Hi, Capricorn. I think you’re looking at this from the wrong angle.  When you meet something unpleasant, over and over, it’s a sign that it’s your problem to solve.

Capricorns are known for their boundaries and their backbone. If this is happening to you, it’s because you’ve not developed yourself. It’s a call to mature and let me be clear; I speak from experience.

When I first started blogging, almost twenty years ago, I would freak, whenever someone said something mean. I would take my whole blog down and retreat to lick my wounds. I was really wounded. It hurt! I used to ask, why do people do this to me? Why me and not the other person. I also wondered why no one ever helped me.

Lucky for me, someone suggested, “Maybe they think you can defend yourself?”

Eureka!  I decided to test this out.

I began to fight back and push back. I learned to block people and to defend my right to defend myself and my site. I have Capricorn too and guess what? I am running this!

If people are mistaking you as a featherweight, it’s because you’re not living your own sun. You are the one, walking around like an airy wisp.

You can solve this by taking responsibility (Capricorn).  It’s up to you to draw the line. Once you do, you’ll have problem holding it. Everyone knows, Taurus only moves one inch per millennium!

Good luck!

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6 thoughts on “Why Do People Disrespect Me & My Boundaries?”

  1. Exquisitely timed post! It ties in so nicely with recognizing that settling of debts, or ‘our books’ (as you wrote in a recent Newsletter) is not just to the other, or the collective. The debt is to ourselves to live to our potential — our Sun.

  2. i wonder if it’s really the “air” that people also try to dominate me lol If they dont get their way they abuse me terribly. I am happy i found my husband, because i feel super safe with him and he doesn’t play these power games that destroy me mentally, physically and emotionally. I saw this very Aries guy abuse this young Libra woman, like if she doesn’t do what he likes, he will abuse & tear her reputation down openly– power games. And she seems to keep going back to him. And i told him he shouldnt do that, but he said it’s the only way he pay attention to him. He tried that with me, because i suck at boundaries feeling sorry for people. but when he tried to abuse me because i wouldnt hang out with him and the libra girlfriend, i cut him off good. I hate toxicity, abuse and their hatred because they are trying to control me. If he were a nice, kind person i’d be more forgiving. I am happy i dont tolerate that anymore (i remember i tolerated alot when i was with my Pisces and Aquarius ex’es)

    1. Elisa, yes, those freaks usually target people who are kind, tolerant, and open-minded. These are all great qualities, but only when they are reciprocated. You did great to cut him off!

  3. Totally agree that it’s a matter of learning to set solid boundaries. Also, it’s a good idea to accept that some people will behave irrationally / destructively even when the boundaries are super clear, even if the destruction affects them personally. In which case we have to cut them off.

    This dentist will certainly lose a lot of customers. What a stupidly and needlessly arrogant behaviour! I recently read in an article that a very large number of psychopaths become surgeons and CEOs.

  4. Thank you for that Eureka-moment, Elsa. It is just what I needed. “Maybe they think you can defend yourself?”

    I have been dumped by a man several times due to (often incorrect) assumptions about my character, wants and behavior and traumas. Maybe the idiots think I am capable of solving these issues myself so they aren’t needed? A lot of men wants to be needed. So – maybe I am showing an air of confidence, stoicism, and capability (Mars Cap in 12th) – when in reality I am exceptionally bad at telling what I need or how I feel and to show feelings?

    Hm, interesting thought for sure! A good thing I am trying to improve on that through therapy.

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