Your Best Chance To Partner – Libra

I was talking to a pal, she’s a Libra.  She’s got a Saturn transit and sure enough, she’s got a serious decision to make.

This is an old friend, someone I’ve known for more than 25 years. Her youngest child is leaving home to go to college.  She’s recently divorced after 25 years and she has to decide what to do with her life, or even the rest of her life for that matter.  This one chapter is clearly ending so what now?  Does she stay where she’s at? Move?  Move where?

She outlined her choices and asked me if I had an opinion.

‘Er…yes, I do,” I said, looking at her chart. “You’ve got to go wherever it is that will give you the best chance to partner. I just don’t think you’re going to be happy alone. I don’t know that you can stand it, or that you should stand it…”

She agreed.

She’s in a small town with no men available and as far as I am concerned, she may as well have started packing that night.  “You and I were born to partner. We love men and we definitely want to be with one. We’ve always had this in common, since way back, so don’t kid yourself.  Wherever you think you’re most likely to find a man, that’s where you should go…”

I think this might surprise people who don’t have Libra in their chart. So be it!

Anyone else out there who knows they don’t want to be alone – period?

39 thoughts on “Your Best Chance To Partner – Libra”

  1. A Libra in a small town where there are no available men? Let’s just say I know something about this and say it’s pretty much non-negotiable. Your Libra friend needs to move away, like yesterday. 😉

    I’m in the same boat.

  2. Avatar
    Blessed Place

    Interesting. I have Libra Neptune H1 and a Libra Jupiter/Chiron conjunction in H2. Saturn is currently conjunct my Neptune, then will move over the conjunction.

    I was always very torn in this respect (torn by my H5 Venus?) since on one level I have an urgent and enduring need to partner – to be deeply involved with a partner. Yet I find it very hard to share domestic space with others, and men find too much of me at close quarters kinda stifling – with all my Saturn, I’m pretty heavy duty.

    I think I WAS meant to partner, but got it wrong in my twenties … and after that for various reasons it was too late: I developed a different way of relating, and now I believe I’m too old either to find anyone or to want to share my life, even if I did.

    It’s pointless however regretting ‘the road not taken’ – I have to find enjoyment and solace in the road I did take, as I have always tried to do – and mostly succeeded

  3. Avatar
    Hester Prynne

    I don’t know if it’s the lack of men in the town or just the lack of men. Certain age groups, do have less chance, my age group has 36% less men. This is mainly due to them being already attached. Also a lot of single middle aged men are looking for younger women. I would love to meet a man my age but have had no luck. I usually date younger men, they are less sexist and more open. I don’t want to be alone, but I am really scared of getting into another bad relationship.Also it’s really hard to meet anyone unless it’s internet dating. Is any other single gal having this problem also?

  4. I don’t want to be alone
    I don’t like being alone
    I am alone

    I would prefer this over just getting anyone, I desire meaningful connection with whom I share my life with.

    Also not interested in just a roommate.

    Also don’t care for crowds

  5. Libra

    I have Jupiter and Uranus in the 8th pladicus 9th Equal

    Jupiter opposes my Saturn rx in Taurus
    Uranus opposes my Moon in Aries

  6. @BP –
    “I think I WAS meant to partner, but got it wrong in my twenties … and after that for various reasons it was too late: I developed a different way of relating, and now I believe I’m too old either to find anyone or to want to share my life, even if I did.

    It’s pointless however regretting ‘the road not taken’ – I have to find enjoyment and solace in the road I did take, as I have always tried to do – and mostly succeeded.”

    I agree with this – feels like my life is much the same. I’m mega-Libra, but at this point, I have neither the inclination or the energy to even think about a partnership. It’s been that way for 10 years. I’m just not interested – the relationships taught me plenty, but they did not support me – they exhausted me, and then I got out. Don’t want to go there again.

    Actually, at this point, if I do find someone (by accident, I’m sure!) I will be completely shocked.
    And most likely run in the other direction.

  7. Avatar
    Hester Prynne

    @ Bruce, crowds are the worst I will do anything to avoid. I was in a bar band when i was young and the bigger we got the more stage fright i got, that’s when i switched to being a visual artist instead of musician. Then my second husband passed and I had to have 2 services for him and the second one had probably close to 500, 600 ppl there. Completely traumatizing. I hate attention even though I’m a leo w/sadge rising, wonder what the astrology of it is? Is it a pluto thing?

  8. I absolutely don’t want to be alone. I do have a 12th house sun, that does need time and space. I can see that, but also that I don’t want to be alone (4th house is ruled by libra). Maybe it’s why I stay,

  9. I’ve got Venus, Pluto and Mars in Libra. I very much want to partner now and forever. I assume that’s my Libra kicking in.

  10. I have no planets in Libra or Taurus. Libra rules my 9th and Taurus the 4th. When I was 21, I saw marriage as an adventure. At 31, I saw it as a chance to make my own happy family (didn’t have one growing up).

    Now at 48, it is either all or nothing. I will no longer ignore red flags in the spirit of open-mindedness. I want what I want for me and my kids. I want the freaking fairy tale, or I will stay single. I will always feel an empty space if I have to do that.

    I believe in True Love. I also believe we choose our important relationships before we are born. I put out the positive thoughts, and we will be drawn to each other because we are supposed to meet. I’ve been told in meditation that the third marriage will be the keeper. If I had stayed single and traveled, I imagine I would be happy with that, but I would be an entirely different person.

  11. Yes! This is EXACTLY the same position I am in right (well, shorter marriage and I’m younger). This is an excruciating decision for me, bc it’s going to entail financial hardship. But how is that a reason to stay put?! There’s no one for me out in the boonies where I live.
    F’ing Saturn opposing my Venus. Get off it already!!

  12. Hell yeah. Moon in the 7th and a Libra 4th House. I *need* a partner who I can have a “home” with.

    I, too, live in a town and an area with a dearth of men my age, let alone men my age who aren’t already attached. Probably should move to warmer waters where there are more fish swimming by.

  13. I think this really depends on your age. If you’re in you’re thlate twenties or thirties and female there is no shortage of options open to you and the greatest possibility for partnering is there if you want it.

    At my age….I don’t know. It may simply be impossible or let’s say increasingly unlikely and one may have to face the possibility that even though it’s in your chart to partner, even though this is how you operate best — it may not happen.

    I’m meeting women now who are confronting all this in their later adulthood. I meet some women who are staying the relationship because of the money and the security but basically the guy is totally unavailable or gay or something. So that is a partnership but it’s mostly a business partnership and love doesn’t enter into it. I meet women who are “looking” actively and what is out there is brutal and depressing and plain dumb to pursue.

    I also feel a little skeptical about the returns on a committed relationship between men and women who are getting older. You’re not going to be able to have children or build a life together the way you could in your thirties and it’s pretty likely one or both of you is going to get sick, and also not impossible whoever you partnered with will be dead pretty soon.

    So. Even though it may be the best thing in a perfect world to partner with somebody, sometimes it;s just not possible. Or worthwhile. We all die alone, but even more than that, in most of these partnership relationships, you end up alone inside the thing.

    So I don’t know if that’s something a person should focus on exclusively, or as a goal. Being open to that possibility is one thing — pursuing it….not sure.

  14. Libra and Scorpio share my 8th house so until I partnered the first time I was not interested in any kind of partnering. Even though the marriage was a deal marriage and was not designed to work at all. I discovered that I really liked being married or partnered. Second marriage was great for 7 years even though it was a disaster the last 12 because I was stuck. I at that point was not actively looking to partner but when the opportunity to partner came along I jumped at the chance. It seems it was a good jump because I am still very happy with my 3rd husband we moved in together on 1 June 1996 and formally wed on the 27th of December 1997. Can’t imagine life with out him.

  15. I like being married, always have. Have spent very little of my adult life unmarried/unpartnered and have had 3 new last names to prove it. 🙂
    I feel like I give a lot and I just wouldn’t feel respected if I didn’t have that status. That might be a very retro idea but I’ve got saturn in the 7th and libra venus in the 2nd so…there ya go!

  16. My NN is in Libra, so I guess my life purpose would be “to partner”. And yet I can count on one hand the number of men I’ve dated so far. :/

  17. Avatar
    Blessed Place

    Ref PixieDust’s comment, I do miss the status of being married. Older [old!] single women are socially invisible, or even seen as figures of fun or pity. I do hate that!

    I was a good wife by the way, and would have happily married again in my 40s or even 50s if things had worked out that way – but only to a man who gave me lots of space hahaha

  18. BP, do you really think people feel sorry for or ridicule women who are older and not married?

    When I was married, I envied single people. I just met someone in her fifties who’s been unmarried her whole life and I admire her too, she seems brilliantly uncompromised and independent.

    I was raised by a single mom who never remarried; my grandmother was widowed twice and never bothered with it again. I thought they were the least pitiable or ridiculous people I have ever known.

  19. “BP, do you really think people feel sorry for or ridicule women who are older and not married?”

    Not addressed to me but I know for sure people look with pity (and sometimes scorn) at an unmarried woman at that age. I know there are people like you, eva but there are definitely people who see it differently. This is not really American, but there are a lot of people from other cultures and most definitely, there is a hierarchy – those who could get a man and those who could not.

    Don’t shoot the messenger, okay?

    I think a woman who exudes confidence and is clearly single by choice might dodge this but it’s because they’d be see as “could get a man but didn’t want one”.

    That last is not all that common. People get lonely when they age, this is just a fact. I see the old ladies at the woman’s club, all married for the most part unless their husbands have died and they still want to talk to you, have someone around. I ain’t easy being 80 on your own, I’ll tell you that.

  20. :). Not gonna shoot ya Elsa. It’s your blog, where would I go and post all my crap if you were gone?

    I think it’s great when longterm marriages work out. I think it’s great when two people can be in a lifetime relationship and benefit and profit and be nurtured by it. I’m not knocking marriage at all, or the impulse to partner.

    But I’ve seen so many crappy marital situations and if the reason people stay in them is so they’re “not alone when they get old”, well…the fact of the matter is not even getting married can guarantee that doesn’t happen. I see people really compromised and miserable and conflicted and trapped, wishing they were with someone else, wishing they could get out, wishing they were dead, all because of this primary relationship. And the fact is in a lot of cases, getting out is what makes people happier than they were before.

    And I’m surprised about this getting a man thing. I have never ever had that thought about any woman before in my life. I remember talking to this woman though who was in her fifties. She was telling me she needed to stay with her boyfriend so she wouldn’t be so embarrassed she had nobody. I was just mystified. She was so cool, professional and brilliant and active, artistic…you name it. But she still had to hang on to this yoyo to avert the shame of being single. Amazing since I would have done just about anything to be single.

    it’s too much to put up with just for the sake of looking normal to society. In some ways it’s like a gay man with a beard.

  21. eva, it may be a different (older) generation that sees things like this. It probably is but if you’re me, you wonder if this does not go back to the cavemen days, meaning if you look deep enough, you will find something along these lines.

    There is a lot of veneer in this country as we have been privileged for many years. In other cultures you can’t make it without a man and we are headed in that direction now which makes conversations like this pertinent.

  22. That’s just it: I used to be of the variety that could get a man, but wasn’t ready for one (on some levels I was, but not fully). Now? I could get some men, but the men that I feel as though I want? I’m not so sure.

  23. My mother cheated on my father when he was nearing 80 and I am pretty sure if it had hadn’t happened 30 years earlier he would have left. Actually, I am certain of it.

  24. “Yet I find it very hard to share domestic space with others”

    BP thanks for sharing this. I have the same. I have lived with a lot of people over the years, including 2 serious relationships. I have been living alone for the last year and have been seeing a therapist as I have mentioned elsewhere.

    Basically when I live with someone (lover or no) I completely assimilate all their problems and all their moods and I lose myself. I’m not the Saturn but the Neptune. I soak it all in. Then I feel trapped and fucked up.

    After 9 months of therapy we’ve unraveled this is likely the fallout from being hypersenstive and growing up with a mentally ill parent.

    So even when I have lots of “independence” (as my girlfriends always marveled at when I lived with my Cappy ex), I am enslaved to energy.

    I just gave up. For now I live alone and it’s expensive in my city but I need to work this out before Leo and I cohabit because he doesn’t deserve my neurosis, untethered. Luckily therapy is helping.

    I also had recurring dreams for years on end, that when I finally spoke to my therapist about them (don’t know why we didn’t talk about it sooner, except to say I dream so much so frequently it’s hard to know what to bother talking about)…he told me they were intrusion dreams.

    I have 12H Neptune/ 8H Saturn/ 4H Venus-Mars in a Grand Trine and am finally realizing: ding ding ding, domestic environment is a powderkeg.

  25. You know, I keep thinking that I’m fine living alone and going off to do stuff by myself. And yet…I go to bed every night imagining myself in the arms of a man. Hmm.

  26. Right now Leo and I only live about a mile apart, on the same street. We take turns depending on who doesn’t want to go uphill in the morning, LOL

  27. Sorry, Neptune’s in my 3rd now (hence the gaps/nonsensical sentences). We take turns sleeping at each other’s apartments, depending on the next day’s morning schedule.

  28. And, as a woman in her thirties, I have had people ask me over and over why I’m not married. They can’t believe I haven’t settled down and had kids by now.

  29. kashmiri, I think you’re doing a smart thing.

    Elsa, if it were me, I think I would be happy that you had an opinion and escape valve like you do. I’m not a Libra, though.

  30. I am 50/50 on this issue and pretty much always have been. I want a man like I want air but I can’t have it. I think the point of my chart is to punish me for something, probably abandoning a wife in the past. I’m hammered everywhere and at least 50% of me was intended to be single and is (as my relatives would complain) too independent. I don’t think moving to a more man-populated place would fix this because I am broken and weird and and unsuited for a traditional marital relationship anyway. There are few men in the sea and the ones that want me are the ones nobody wants anyway. I give up every day because I can’t fight an avalanche.

    I am tired of hurting over this. I am tired of whining on the Internet about it. (Obviously, I can’t manage to restrain myself on the whining anywhere, it just builds up and explodes even when I have multiple private journals.) I am tired of it bothering me 24-7. I try to enjoy the 50% of me who enjoys living my life without someone complaining about how inadequate I am and hope that drowns out the other 50%’s screaming. But again: if I can’t fix myself, who can? Yeah, someday I might get lucky and find a fellow who doesn’t want to live a 1950’s life and doesn’t mind having some space here and there, but even then, I’m… me. And everyone always has a problem with that after awhile.

    You’re damned right a woman gets shamed for being single. I have been shamed since I was 18 years old for not getting married yet. 18! In the 90’s! I didn’t even start to date until that age but it was shameful that I was single. It never stops with some people.

  31. Avatar
    Hester Prynne

    I think it’s interesting that no one asked this question, Where did marriage come from and who invented it? This is a patriarchal paradigm. Invented to control wealth and property (read women). People equate marriage with status, no matter how unhappy the marriage may be. In many undeveloped and more evolved societies it IS hard to be single and make it without a man. Why? because that’s the way the system is set up. That way less women and men choose to be single. It’s hard financially and emotionally. Look at the money making corporate culture around marriage. Marriage has it’s price. I am single because I am widowed. That makes me pretty much a nonentity in this so-called modern culture. Most of the time when a person finds out I am single, they assume I am divorced, which only makes things harder, the reactions to my being widowed at such a young age makes things more difficult. But the freedom I have now is really nice, that is the part that’s really enjoyable is that I love my independence. You’d think in modern day america an independent woman would be something to admire. Quite a paradox is it not?

  32. I am probably older than most of you posting now. I have South Node conjunct Mercury conjunct Neptune conjunct Asc. (all sextile Venus and Pluto) and all these are exact within a few minutes. I am in a second marriage. I love my husband, but nothing is perfect. At this age, if you have physical attraction, intellectual and cultural compatibility, the small things pale. When I look about me, there is no one I belong with more than this man…. yet I am happy he gives me space to be alone as well — and I don’t think I would ever look for anyone else in my life (no one looks that good anyway). I work with a number of single professional women who would give anything to have some male companionship. They are not looking for perfection, and they envy me even though they know through my experience that love is work. We have such goals for ideal love when we are young, yet the best we can hope for is someone we admire, can work with, are attracted to in myriad ways and who lets us be our true selves.

  33. not terribly libra myself, but i’ve seen the compulsive need to stay partnered really screw over libra (and say, venus ascending) folks.

    many simply will not leave a relationship no matter what, and when they are left, will take the first decent option that comes their way… which is often not all to great, it just looks better than the last one because they’re still in the infatuation phase.

    granted, a lot of these observations come from my twenties. it may change as people mature.

    also. women have been making it without a man for a long time. maybe not well, but they’ve been doing it. it was called “widowhood” (which happened far more often at a younger age in the past) and “spinsterhood.”

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