I have had two people tell me, in the last three days, they are hurt and triggered when they post and no one responds.. so they don't post. I understand this, especially now; people are so sensitized.
Can someone jump in?
I hate the idea of this forum causing pain and angst. Really, it's unbearable.
Thank you/
First and foremost, I'm hoping and praying your husband's issue turns out to be minor, and controlled or cured. I worked with a man 20 years ago who had a problem several doctors couldn't figure out -- faint or lightheaded upon rising quickly from sitting or lying down. Tests had mixed results, but a creative doctor finally cured him with a simple medication. This may be too. He's still going strong!
The Southern diet of fried and fatty foods, and tendency to be overweight, isn't exactly heart healthy. But -- you cook healthy!
As for lack of responses, perhaps the best way to get a response is to ask an engaging question. I remember when you removed the Thanking option, weren't posters unhappy when they got no Thank Yous? There's no pleasing all of the people all of the time!
@elsa If you look down the list of forum posts. Note who's name is at the end of recent dead threads. Mine. It is real.
threadkiller
I DO have an emotional response. But I'm not sure what it is.
I'm not comfortable with how it ends. it's kind of disturbing. it does not feel natural.
I had a fleeting thought of calling you, ELSA, to process it.
I feel bad. Killing your threads.
@nona you do not kill threads. But this is an example of how people feel... humiliated, basically. But I don't think it is real. You are an interesting person with a lot of knowledge and unique input.
I'm glad I brought this up... I mean, clearly a lot people suffer over this and I'm sorry.
@nona I like your comments. I like your energy.
You are a sensitive who gives helpful wonderful insights.
I come and go with my participation here. There are several threads I want to start, but my mind is too flakey to bring it together.
@nona I am also succession planting cilantro, as I type.
@allie got me baking bread.. I have not purchased bread or pizza crusts for months!
@elsa I hope you are bearing up as well as you can. I'm continuing to pray for you and yours and I often light candles for the good folks on this forum (I hope nobody minds!).
WRT unanswered posts, it doesn't bother me, it's like any kind of conversation - if it doesn't interest people, they skim past sometimes, though I can understand how it hurts. I know I've been guilty of this of late, I'm reading and not replying. I'm very low-energy at the moment, but sometimes I just can't articulate what I want to say without sounding trite or just plain stupid!
@plutolover thank you! And I know the feeling on the responses. I just don't know how to resolve this.
@elsa This may be the time for people to identify and ‘pull in’ their projections, instead of (unhelpfully) assigning to others. An opportunity for them/me to break a long term pattern? I would reply to pretty much everything if I could. I can’t. I have a life, I have a job, I have people dependent on me, I’m tired, I’m in bereavement mode still, I need space to reflect, particularly on posts here - to think, to be alone with my thoughts, to not talk - the times as they are now almost demand even more of this. My experience so far is that many are in a similar situation. It is a big ask to ask those (and I am one) to release concerns that they are the cause of ‘no response’, but it is do-able. Sometimes, their posts are the cause of much reflection! A good thing. I get that it is not great forum food, if chat is key. But here we are.
People are under a lot of pressure everywhere, time to allow for that and the no responses, it’s a real response to the current times I think.
I had a client with an independent online business like mine, get sued for her website not being accessible. She warned me about this; I am so very grateful.
I installed a plugin to address this lack, I am very surprised at how frequently it's used.
I don't know who uses it, but I can see the options are often used. It's pretty cool.
Awe. Thanks All. Thanks for pointing out you understand "everyone is so sensitized". That definitely describes me lately.
I know I come here for real and raw. Natural humans. The natural part.
And I am very suspicious of how gamification of our/my cyberworld is being played.
Alison McDowell ( wrenchinthegears.com) has a YT video “Do You Want To Play A Game,” which explores the psycho-geography of gamified bio-hybrid relational computing.
She does an astounding presentation of deep tech. And vulnerable heartfelt processing as she Connects the dots where the hand of tech/computing/social media/gamification contributed to destruction of her family circle.
It is an"out there" concept, but sadly not so out there I can't see and feel it too.
This thought just came in my mind: if people don't present themselves, there is no way they can be known or cared about or anything else.
So if everyone succumbs to their fear... well it's stupefying to consider.
I said something was wrong with one of my close friends, yesterday or the day before, when her phone went straight to voice mail. She just called me. I was chatting with another friend. "I gotta go! It's ___! I think her daughter might be dead!"
She was not dead, but there was a suicide attempt. Thank God, someone found her.
My friend is across the country to bring her home.. she has brothers who love her, they are all waiting to help her.
I'm just sick. Trauma, everywhere.
Also, her husband had diastolic heart failure... didn't tell anyone. He died, while driving on the highway @ 65 mph. Just sudden death, run off the road.
Also, Ben's mother died in his car. Oh my God, it was awful.
I have a fear of this. I didn't know it until this situation with my husband.
I've had this fear since 2007. My husband passed out while driving. He was basically unharmed. We got into our medical clinic that very day to have him checked out. We were lucky to get a new doctor that just joined the practice. Our regular doctor was booked for the day. After running some tests, scans were ordered for checking his brain and heart, referrals to cardiologist and neurologist. He also volunteered to not drive for six months. During that appointment, I must have said 3 or 4 times, "It's his thyroid. His dose is too low after our doctor lowered the dose. It's his thyroid." While we were at the reception area waiting for appointments to be scheduled, I saw the new doctor talk with our regular doctor. New doctor came to the reception area and added a thyroid screen. Yes, I was right, it was too low and his dose was increased. All other tests and scans were normal. OF Course, the medical staff says that may not have been the reason, as many cases of syncope are not discovered. -- In subsequent office visits, the new doctor turned to me to ask how my husband was doing.
I've had the feeling for many years that I would die in a car accident. I've been so lucky so far. But I have this bleeding problem that is probably vonWillebrand. There's a real chance I could bleed out internally and not look like there is a problem.
What will be, will be, I reckon.