Piya said
My parents divorced in their 60's, and I have to say that both of them are better for it. Honestly they should have divorced a long time ago. I hope I never have a marriage like theirs, so full of poison and resentment.So I don't know. I want to get married only once in my lifetime, but that hasn't happened yet -- though I'm hopeful it will.

I agree with this. It would be better if they had left before they got older, but i realize some parents (couples) will stay for the children or money issues/financial reasons, and they invested in eachother for years. I would never want to be in a marriage full of poison and build up resentment.

I'm glad that my mother in law divorced before she was in her 50s, long long before, but she never looked for another man, she just didnt care for the dating field; it wasn't her style. she met father in law early in University, and got together because they were on the same political mindset/field, same classes. But from what they both said, it was a poisonous marriage (so it was short), although the courtship during college was pleasant, because they focused more on their interests. But when they played "house", with financial and other matters concerning family they could never see eye to eye, so it was very terrible.

To be honest, i dont know many divorcees, around me, except my mother in law; her sisters/brothers are all with their first marriages till now. And in my father's and mother's side of the family, all are together.

In general, I dont trust men who go after very young women. lol I mean, more than 20 years, then i think hmm i wonder why... well more power to them if they love that. When a man goes after a mature woman, they seem more into responsibility and not Always having fun fun fun in the sun. lol Yes there are very young women in ther 20s who are mature but not many. so if they are in their 40s and they go after someone 20 years younger you wonder...   j/k. Actually, women also get a bad rap when theyre middle age and go after someone 20 to 30 years younger. They get called cougars. what about the men?? cheetahs??

well my ex's mother went after someone over 30 years younger and she's happy. And he is the type that is very very mature. People that have seen them together think nothing of it.

It's sad big picture wise, but my aunt is getting divorced in her mid 60s ...

but her husband is awful... on many levels... the universe hit her with some very hard information in very humiliating ways about the reality of her relationship, but her blinders were that strong that it had to get this bad. I think she was really just trying to make it last... she's a Taurus too, held on for dear life. But, it just is not good, & really this awful time is a window to get free and have a rebirth. It's a painful experience and shocking to the core, but big picture wise I'm happy for her. 

Pearl said
It's sad big picture wise, but my aunt is getting divorced in her mid 60s ...

 

but her husband is awful... on many levels... the universe hit her with some very hard information in very humiliating ways about the reality of her relationship, but her blinders were that strong that it had to get this bad. I think she was really just trying to make it last... she's a Taurus too, held on for dear life. But, it just is not good, & really this awful time is a window to get free and have a rebirth. It's a painful experience and shocking to the core, but big picture wise I'm happy for her. 

i'm sorry to hear that. How does a man keep "secrets" from his own wife like that?? but if he was an awful man to her, good riddance.

If it was time for it, maybe it's not so bad. 

I know stories about my FIL that he was awful. But one time I did here him speak to my MIL in a way that I knew the stories were true. She would have never left him because of the era in which she was brought up, she is a devout Catholic, and they just must have loved each other. Anyhow, the type of patterning they got from their father, I believe, led to six divorces among three brothers. Think there's a damn problem there? Yeah. And I don't know if I will add a seventh or not. My husband has threatened divorce more times than years we've been married. I could call his bluff but he would use that against me. He loves the legal system.

allie120 said
If it was time for it, maybe it's not so bad. 

I know stories about my FIL that he was awful. But one time I did here him speak to my MIL in a way that I knew the stories were true. She would have never left him because of the era in which she was brought up, she is a devout Catholic, and they just must have loved each other. Anyhow, the type of patterning they got from their father, I believe, led to six divorces among three brothers. Think there's a damn problem there? Yeah. And I don't know if I will add a seventh or not. My husband has threatened divorce more times than years we've been married. I could call his bluff but he would use that against me. He loves the legal system.

He sounds like he has anger issues. Sorry to butt in, hope it's not so bad. But you said that he got it probably from his father, (like father like son and generations before)? Not Always, though. Sometimes, the child breaks from that, like a curse lifted.

I've heard from my family who have married into other families, and/or are dating people who have families that are known to have high infidelity rate. For example, a couple of cousins of mine who date some individuals whose fathers have left the wife for a stripper at the nightclub and spending all his money there. The wife is devastated so she has to go to my cousin's mate to pour all her frustration and sorrow on him (her son or daughters, any of her children who will listen), and then, sometimes, they follow in the footsteps of their fathers. (eta: they did get back together, the husband found out that the stripper just used him for money, cause she wants nothing to do with him, so he returned back to the devastated wife, and she in turn got facial surgery to look younger) Anyway, The son later cheated on the cousin of mine more than once -- maybe showing a pattern of his father. but it's not Always the case. Not all children follow the footsteps of their families.

Also, with another family member, she's married into a family who has had a mistress for decades on the side; the man is a good man, a very good father to his children (on both wife and mistress's childrens) but a horrible husband. Apparantly his brother also does the same thing. Well, families are saying, that hopefully the sons don't act in the same way as the fathers. And usually, if they are disgusted by that behaviour, but cannot do anything for their father and love them very much, (because it is Always a choice) then you don't follow their footsteps and strive to be against that. That is also another opposite direction.

I keep forgetting that in my husband's family, there is one Pisces uncle who married 2x, but only because his 1st wife passed away very young and early via cancer, and his 2nd wife, a double libra, with Scorpio mars -- he's been married to her for over 25 years with their own set of children, along with the 1st wife's children who are grown and already have their own children. Also, there is my other uncle, a capricorn december born, who did divorce, but they kept going back and forth back and forth giving chances and chances, to finally no more. (it was toxic) but the rest are very content marriages.

Just some thoughts on family line and generational habits and what influences it might bring to their children, since you mentioned patterns.

It's ok, Elisa! I vacillate between complaining/venting and just shutting up about it. My husband's an amazing provider and a better father to his kids than when they were growing up. I believe people can break the cycles. I do. The brothers all REVERE my FIL. And I understand that. He was their father, the only father they knew. He had mellowed a lot when I first met him. An intelligent man. His mother had the same nasty temperment, though.

We're going through something tough now. He's not the easiest person to have relationships (work, personal) with, a consensus shared by many. I wish he had more guy friends to play poker or fish with.

I just discovered he is an 8H sun and Mercury. Cut a bitch with his tongue? Hell yeah. Harsher than some Scorpio natives I know. And believe me, I can't be any special treat, with my Uranus-Pluto-moon right up there in my 1H, Uranus conjunct my AC.