I wish you well on your exams, Elisa! I hope it's over soon. One step closer to your goals! 
Saturn is in his first house now. I'll have to read up on that. Knowing his birth chart does help and explains a lot of how he feels and reacts. I only learned it last month. So here are lots of things I see between us, in our own natures, that would cause friction. And I have learned much from him, and he from me, I KNOW. I'm far less rigid with people and some parts of my life. I am more trusting and rely on my intuition, which does me good. That probably doesn't sit well with me. He's more rigid and suspicious of everything.
That said, he has never learned that sometimes it 's your tone that makes all the difference when you speak to people. I don't care what your chart says. People can learn. I have major trust issues with him. By trust, I mean his moods. And that throws my balance and security way off.
Thank you for your kind words and support, Elisa and everyone! I feel bad hogging the thread.....:/
@Warped...80! Wow. Part of me is sad that at that late age they would feel such animosity. Another part says, hell, I guess they have a lot of life in them still...
(((allie)))
I hope all works out with you and your husband.
I thought of another example of people divorcing when older. My aunt--my mother's sister--divorced her husband of 40 years in her 60s. Why? They had raised 4 children together, he had made a great living and been an incredible provider. My aunt spent years not having to work; she was able to redecorate her house every few years, etc. They met in high school and he was her very first boyfriend. Romantic, right?
Not really. My uncle by marriage was abusive, verbally and physically, to his children and his wife. None of their children has been able to have a successful relationship; their youngest is nearing 30. After 3 decades of dealing with this, the two of them finally started going to counseling about 10 years ago, and my uncle got a little bit better, but he maintained the line that my aunt was responsible for him losing his temper, and if he was abusive to her it was ultimately her fault. At 60 years old he was still saying this. So she left. And, she did have to start over...to some extent. She had skills in the medical field, however, so she was able to get work. And her husband was rather generous about helping her pay for their huge house while she lived there once he moved out of state.
Should she have stayed with him, with all of their history, despite his attitude? I can't say she should have; after a few years, it seems to have worked out for her. She's dating someone else now and I think she's doing ok. I think she was lucky to have married so well, money-wise, at least, and to have left on fairly good terms with him. Certainly not every woman is as fortunate.
Thank you, Magic
Oh my God....that's awful. It frightens me because I see this too clearly in certain members of this family (I have felt responsible for everything in my own immediate family, since a child so that's my own messed up view, so I can't speak for myself). But the blame thing? Oh my God. At times I have seen it start out as a joke but it continues and is veiled hostility. No. I see this.
That's horrid. I am so glad she is out if that.
allie120 said
I wish you well on your exams, Elisa! I hope it's over soon. One step closer to your goals!Saturn is in his first house now. I'll have to read up on that. Knowing his birth chart does help and explains a lot of how he feels and reacts. I only learned it last month. So here are lots of things I see between us, in our own natures, that would cause friction. And I have learned much from him, and he from me, I KNOW. I'm far less rigid with people and some parts of my life. I am more trusting and rely on my intuition, which does me good. That probably doesn't sit well with me. He's more rigid and suspicious of everything.
That said, he has never learned that sometimes it 's your tone that makes all the difference when you speak to people. I don't care what your chart says. People can learn. I have major trust issues with him. By trust, I mean his moods. And that throws my balance and security way off.
Thank you for your kind words and support, Elisa and everyone!
thanks muchly, Allie.
Well they do say (astrology wise) that cancers have moods. I figured this is very similar to having kind of a bi-polarish attitude. I was even accused myself of having bi-polar moods from one of my sister's colleagues, because i went all bitch one time. (I'm not a very diplomatic person, but thankfully my husband is more diplomatic than I am. I just keep quiet like a good girl since he will do most of the socializing when with family and friends. They love his energy!) I just got upset, but felt bad afterward. then she told my sister that perhaps i'm bi-polar. my close relatives just said to me, nope, you're not, those are just your moods. lol Mostly, they go into their shells. And trust is very important in a relationship.
@magiczara, that is unfortunate about your aunt, but a man who blames his wife for his anger fits?? My abusive ex used to do that. Blame me for his extreme temper and very violent physical abuse. He would say, "it's your fault that I'm like this, and i've never had this problem with other women" (which is weird because he has never really gotten into a very serious commitment long term with another girl before me, but according to him, dating lots of women he could get into his bed was a 'commitment' *rollseyes") Unfortunately, he was not able to understand how to have a good relationship and perhaps that majorly due to his upbringing, having strong mother issues. money is not important when your happiness is on the line. And his methods were not "love"; you don't treat a loved one like that.
ETA: i'm reminded of that Mel gibson ranting to Oskana, and how she said to him, you don't treat your loved ones like this, this is not love. That's kind of how i felt with my ex. but i remained, and i guess cause i thought i could save him/fix him. That i thought he was very good deep down, but no. A good man doesn't do the things he does and keep saying sorry but do it again and again.
ETA2: also, i remember with the ex. he would complain I made him "do it" but yet, when i tried to leave him, he'd get violent again and said if i left him i'd be dead. He really didnt want me to leave yet, complained how i made him the way he felt. It was very confusing and terrible. And how i would say to him that we're not compatible but he refused to believe that, he just wanted me locked up.
so, perhaps your aunt took so long, because she didnt have the support and waited till the children were grown. Physical, violent abuse is terrible and very toxic.
Thank you, elisa. Yes, when it came down to it, my uncle could never quite get over "she made me do it". 
Even if as he aged he was no longer physically violent, he could not take responsibility for his angry moods.
eta: I'm glad you're out of that situation. And I also agree that things probably went much more smoothly for her bc her kids were out of the house. Had she tried to leave him when the children were young, there's no telling who would have used the children against whom.