“For one to expect or ask things of others that he himself, if asked, would not be willing to do or give, is the worst kind of arrogance.”
–Anthony Beal
Scorpio’s reputation for taking offense, and taking it to its highest level, is well-known. Heavily plutonian people can hold a grudge tighter than Jack Benny with a handful of nickels. They are also known to be the sign that will amputate a relationship without looking back. Why are they so deeply offended? In return Scorpio might just as well ask why people are so damned offensive.
Once you’ve set Scorpio’s jaw is there anything you can do to turn back the clock? Perhaps. But Scorpio isn’t Leo. Offend Leo and much of what you have on your hands is a perceived wound to their dignitas. While that may also be true of Scorpio, the meat of the matter is much deeper. While Leo may accept a humble apology, Scorpio needs something more: you must understand what you did, why it was terrible, and you must BE truly, truly sorry. Leo expects honor; Scorpio demands contrition.
Scorpio can smell hubris like a stinky sweatsock.
Genuine remorse and an offer of penance are necessary. Don’t bother a Scorpio with “I’m sorry if I hurt you.” They may just sock you in the face. Until you’re ready to own what you did and genuinely ask for forgiveness from a place of remorse, don’t bother. If you don’t understand what you did and have not internalized the reason you should never do it again, why should you be forgiven? Without understanding you remain a threat, as you may repeat your offense.
Do you forgive easily? What is your Scorpio/Pluto/8th house situation?
My moon is Scorpio and I have said to the kids since they were little that “sorry means you will never do it again.” The words mean little when said the second time…
My leo sun wants desperately to be able to forgive. Just be nice, say you’re sorry, I’ll be willing to lick my wounds in private, and then move on. Scorpio Saturn which is squaring my Leo sun though, has me learning and relearning that unless someone really gets, deep down in their gut, what they did, so much that it pains them as much as it pains me, they are going to do it again. It has happened to me over and over and over again–I know, I’m a slow learner in many ways. My wide Jupiter conjunction with said sun(out of sign) wants to be generous to all.
Scorpio is all about intention, not so much about the action itself. What motivated a betrayal? Was it an honest mistake or deliberate?
If it’s deliberate, good luck in life.
I don’t think it’s fair to expect others to forgive. People should be able to decide when, who, what, and why they want to forgive.
Forgiveness has become something of a virtue. But sometimes it’s just a dumb thing to do, because we wind up hurting ourselves later…
I’m selectively forgiving.
Its called boundaries.
Good for you!
I *despise* apologies. If you’re really sorry, then don’t do it again. I tell people to save their breath, and “show, don’t tell.”
I have a history of “amputating” friends for various reasons (some totally valid, some based on my own immaturity), but always taking them back eventually. Two of my best friends were joking that “if Josephine hasn’t (amputated) you at least once, then you’re not her real friend!”
Scorpio Moon. Sun/Pluto conjunct. Mars square Pluto. Venus in the 8th house.
Forgive ? No, because it takes A LOT to make me truly angry, to begin with. My 8th house Jupiter/Aries opposes my Libra Moon, so I’ll ‘be nice’, as in ‘give the benefit of the doubt’, for as long as I can stand to. If things go too far, my Neptune/Scorpio will cut you off and forget you like it was all a bad dream. My 1st house Pluto opposes my Pisces/Chiron, so admittedly what I do is not always the most balanced approach; but scorched earth never was. I will, amputate and burn down someone who’s screwed me over. I am very circumspect before doing so, no matter how heinous their offense, because I don’t take such action lightly; and am loathe to do so at all.
I need to see some *tears*. Jup/Nep in the 8th house.
….gonna read the comments now.
I agree with Josephine. If a person has done something or said something one should say they are sorry and mean it. However that doesn’t mean I have forgiven you cart blanc,
All depends on who you are and the circumstances of the offence. Now the offender is on probation of sorts not truly trusted and may never be truly trusted again.
Once I amputate a relationship it is forever gone. I will not only never trust that person but don’t ever really want to be around them again.
Sun Opposition Moon 5°16
Sun Square Uranus 4°21
Moon Trine Jupiter 3°23
Moon Square Uranus 0°55
Moon Opposition Neptune 3°05
Moon Trine Pluto 3°01
Mercury Trine Ascendant 1°45
Venus Square Jupiter 5°46
Venus Conjunction Saturn 0°28
Venus Square Ascendant 2°11
Jupiter Sextile Neptune 0°18
Jupiter Conjunction Pluto 0°22
Saturn Square Ascendant 1°43
Uranus Square Neptune 4°00
Neptune Sextile Pluto 0°04
Now, that I think about it. *I* am the one who CRIES when I apologize. The few who’ve apologized to me, say “I’m sorry”. Doesn’t *mean* anything. When my mom apologizes, she get massively choked up, moon in Scorpio lady. She *means* it.
I had to laugh when I read this blog post! Ha, the life of a Scorpio! What a tangled web we can weave!
Ok, I may PRETEND I forgive you but I will NEVER forget the wrongdoing you did to me. So you had better behave yourself lest I bring it up again to salt the wound even further! 😀
It is the task of a Scorpio type to turn away from this sort vendetta type behavior to evolve to a high level by way of the Phoenix – we must burn these behaviors in the ashes and rise anew and – wait, we have to FORGIVE people! What? lol! Oh, ok, well, I’ll try – that is all I can promise you. 🙂
Point being that hey we Scorps try to do this stuff but we are gonna slip up – think of it as our way of learning the lessons we have to down the line to continue on our evolutionary path of our souls. You’d be helping us out to be understanding of how difficult it be in control of too much Pluto.
Me:
Scorpio Rising
Sun and Pluto exact conjunct 24 degree (almost cazimi) in the 10th house Virgo.
Mars Square Pluto – I can “amputate” someone from my life with the greatest of ease. These are those folks who can’t admit their wrongs with me. They can’t apologize or admit what they did wrong to me so why should I? Ex’s often fall to a terrible death with this one. They must pay for their wrongdoings. ;P
Neptune in Scorpio
Pluto sextile Asc
Pluto sextile Neptune
Pluto conjunct Uranus
My 8th is generally empty; gemini cusp but mostly in Cancer. I have a Lilith in the 8th.
I honestly don’t think I need any planets in the 8th – I am Scorpionic enough as it is. 🙂
This is my favorite blurb about Scorpios crazy revenge. lol. From this link here:http://www.networkedblogs.com/blog/sun_sign_psycho_cology
“Scorpio: So you say you’ve angered a Scorpio? How many times must I warn you people: Leave Scorpios alone! But now the damage is done. You might want to take the easy route and kill yourself now. Want to delay the inevitable? Then go ahead: Change your appearance, identity, and move far away. But why go through the hassle? You know the Scorpio will find you one day. And you’ll live the rest of your days looking over your shoulder knowing when you least expect it, the Scorpio will catch up with you and make you pay. It’s sheer torture waiting and wondering how and when your eventual Scorpio-induced demise will take place. And Scorpio wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Here’s the thing- I can forgive a person and I do think I give ppl the benefit of the doubt. BUT if you then do it again in some way, then I feel like I have the confirmation that I should not have trusted you, that I was a fair enough person to give you another chance and you blew it- so I can then cut you off with a clean conscience. That’s important to a Scorp too- personal integrity.
I forgive, but don’t forget.
I don’t haul stuff up later though—if I forgive someone, I amputate the hurt and anger from the interest, but I can’t replace the broken trust…until they prove themselves again (which takes a while).
If I don’t forgive someone (usually ’cause they don’t give me an apology that makes it clear they understand what they did wrong)—then I amputate my respect and trust for them.
I’ve got quite a bit of Scorpio.
*from the incident (not interest! lol) oops
Great post Satori, thanks. I’ve a scorp stellium and 8th house moon. I agree with waitwhat as well – intention matters. If it’s my stuff that’s causing me to react to something that others would find benign, it’s down to me to let them know. I generally try to track it and take the time to figure out what’s the person’s intention/motivation was before reacting as I don’t want to lose someone due to a misunderstanding, even though there are times when I just want to wallow and not take responsibility for my feelings – then I have to remind myself that this is for my own benefit. If the person behalves in a way that would generally be seen as obnoxious and then doesn’t own it there’s no point – you can’t be nasty to someone and not know what you’re doing – it’s not humanly possible – you always know on some level, whether you want to admit it to yourself or not. If the person isn’t truly sorry then there’s no respect there and nothing to build on. I know that sometimes it’s just a phase and the person is taking out their pain and anger on the people around them – I’ve been there. If that’s the case I’ll detach and give them some leeway. If I have to let them go and they sort themselves out and come back to apologise sometime in the future and want to have a relationship with me again I’m open to that, but they need to put in some work to show that they are truly sorry and value me and the relationship we are rebuilding.
I don’t like bearing grudges because i realised a while ago that only one suffering is me – the other person doesn’t give a shit. I also find that karma usually gets them pretty swiftly – if you treat one person like shit without owning it it’s probably habitual with you and at some point it’s going to backfire, so I let it go but I don’t forget – that’d be stupid.
You actually sound selfless and your reasoning makes sense. I’ve met some pretty selfish Scorpios who like to hold grudges over some very miniscule issues, yet they won’t even bother owning up to their own offenses. Take my mother in law for example, she and my mother were joking one day about how it would be wonderful to spoil the hell out of their grand children if my husband and I ever decided to have any. Not knowing that I was actually pregnant at the time, I imagined it a beautiful thing. Then, when the news came that I was indeed pregnant, the joy disappeared. My mother in law began to judge me, and turned out she was holding a ten year old grudge on me (which by the way, I apologized for sincerely and on my knees even), turns out she remembers it like it was yesterday and the wound is wide open. So, now I’m hurt because for all these years she would tell other people that she loved me like a mother and that I was her daughter, not her in law. All of a sudden, I’m riff raff, lazy, uneducated, unworthy of barring a child from her child, etc.. Sorry so long, but I felt I needed share this. I’m a leo by the way.
What did you do to your mother in law? What was the thing you did to her that caused her to hold a 10 year grudge?
She kept trying to manipulate her son by telling us every 5 minutes that she was going to commit suicide. She wouldnt tell us the reason but n9w it is evident that it was because her son married me. Any way, I got really annoyed by her threats one day that I just couldn’t help it, I just flat out told her that if she really wants to kill herself, to do it in silence. Then I proceded to tell her that i hated her for putting this on us. Anyway, I was so exhausted from that (it really took a lot of energy out of me), I went to my room and took a nap. When I awoke about three hours later, the phone rang, it was from the hospital they told me that she was in a coma.. I swear i felt as though my heart was drowning.. My husband gets home from work and i told him what had happened (my guilt version) I told him it was all my fault. We rushed to the hospital, turns out she had swallowed a great amount of T3s. Fortunately, she woke up the next day and as I stated before, i was on my knees crying and begging her to forgive me for the way i spoke to her, she responded,”no sweety you forgive me for putting you through all of this.” We hugged and we never spoke of it again. So I dont understand her attitude towards me now.
Thank you, Elsa! ?
I have sun, mercury, and uranus in Scorpio in the 8th house. I don’t have a problem leaving relationships IF its my choice. My last bf had sun, moon, asc, and uranus all in the 1st, and true node in scorpio in the 12th house. He holds a serious grudge against me. I can’t make him forgive me no matter what I say or do. 🙁
Great post Satori, thanks. I’ve a scorp stellium and 8th house moon. I agree with waitwhat as well – intention matters. If it’s my stuff that’s causing me to react to something that others would find benign, it’s down to me to let them know. I generally try to track it and take the time to figure out what’s the person’s intention/motivation was before reacting as I don’t want to lose someone due to a misunderstanding, even though there are times when I just want to wallow and not take responsibility for my feelings – then I have to remind myself that this is for my own benefit. If the person behalves in a way that would generally be seen as obnoxious and then doesn’t own it there’s no point – you can’t be nasty to someone and not know what you’re doing – it’s not humanly possible – you always know on some level, whether you want to admit it to yourself or not. If the person isn’t truly sorry then there’s no respect there and nothing to build on. I know that sometimes it’s just a phase and the person is taking out their pain and anger on the people around them – I’ve been there. If that’s the case I’ll detach and give them some leeway. If I have to let them go and they sort themselves out and come back to apologise sometime in the future and want to have a relationship with me again I’m open to that, but they need to put in some work to show that they are truly sorry and value me and the relationship we are rebuilding.
I don’t like bearing grudges because i realised a while ago that only one suffering is me – the other person doesn’t give a shit. I also find that karma usually gets them pretty swiftly – if you treat one person like shit without owning it it’s probably habitual with you and at some point it’s going to backfire, so I let it go but I don’t forget – that’d be stupid! 🙂
Sorry I double posted and can’t find delete for some reason…. 8)
And obviously don’t know my emoticon’s very well… 😀
“Until you’re ready to own what you did and genuinely ask for forgiveness from a place of remorse, don’t bother. If you don’t understand what you did and have not internalized the reason you should never do it again, why should you be forgiven? Without understanding you remain a threat, as you may repeat your offense.”
Exactly why my Scorpio Rising is (unfortunately) not forgiving my hubby – even though I’ve tried to communicate what and why there is problems…
Great post Satori – you hit it out of the park!!
*standing.ovation* Great post Satori.
My Scorpio Moon/Rising will often fuel the… “you are dead to me” line. And few apologies (real or dramatized) rarely ever alter that.
Moon/Nth Node in Aries in 8th. Also Mars in Taurus in 8th.
I amputate and when I do it can’t be reversed. And for good reason. Not the same as not forgiving (for me) as forgiveness can imply some sort of continuity. It’s just the realisation that it is lethal – and I don’t use that word lightly – to be in a relationship with these particular individuals. I move on.
Particularly important because I have a a very mutable chart and also have Neptune in Libra in 1st. All too easy for me to adapt too much to others and to be blind to the grim truth about relationships/friendships.
So I look on this 8th house grouping as a lifeline.
I was reading this this morning and thinking, spot on. Then today I encountered someone who thought his ex didn’t sufficiently get how she’d erred against him, so he stabbed her. She still isn’t sufficiently sorry in his view. She’s said sorry but in his mind she is not truly remorseful; she doesn’t get the offence; she has continued to err. She thinks he’s going to kill her. I don’t know about his chart but he oozes this perspective; it’s the far side of this stuff.
It’s why I try to remember that my sense of the person’s mistake, whatever it is, is just that. Just my perception, my feeling. Not a cast-in-stone reality. Possibly driven by my unconscious crap. Possibly my illusion/delusion. Scorp in the 9th/MC & Pluto/uranus in the 7th; I have to be really careful to own my shadow or it walks up and f*cks with me. Moon in the 9th or 8th depending on the house system.
I used to forgive but not forget, but as I get older…I forget anyway! Hah! Joke’s on me and I think it’s pretty funny. 😀 All those grudges turned out to be completely forgetable after all. That’s a kind of freedom. I try not to make any of it too significant now. Holding grudges just gives them energy. Besides, world’s too small for it where I live.
Ha love this! I have Pluto, Venus , & Uranus in the 8th and so identify with this. My MC is in Scorpio
Great post, satori. I have to come back later and read all the comments
Le Ciel du Scorpion’s comments are right on. Not being seen for who I am is incredibly painful, especially when it is someone who has every opportunity to know better. Forgiving was not part of my nature until I learned that my hate and grudges were destroying me, not the offender. So while I still don’t take offenses lightly, I make a strong effort toward forgiving. Knowing that forgiving is in my own best interests makes it a lot easier, too. I hear people say that they can’t forgive. Until they break that belief, they are going to remain miserable.
I am a heavy 8H carrier an as involved with a double scorp and he is the only one I can confess to. Our composite chart is chalked up with 8H… sigh. Whether we individually ask for forgiveness from each other or if it’s mutual, it’s brutal, loving and transforming. It’s something I have never been able to do with another.
I have a scorp stellium and I don’t forgive unless I feel the person is really, truly, deeply sorry.
However, I do eventually let it go because life moves on and I look more to my future than my past.
The few people who betrayed our friendship are amputated and I rarely ever think of them.
Satori. Excellent! I had a short period where I felt bad about how strongly unforgiving I was of people (mars in pisc haha) but there’s no way around it. If one *DELIBERATELY* tries to hurt me there is nothing less than FULL admission, understanding and total apology (actions and words) that will remove this mark. I think the ice out maybe is Scorpio’s version of forgiveness. In the past I have totally let the other person have it with words that cut deep if I do not forgive them. Some part of me wonders what this does…if this exercise in moral righteousness is really the best way to go about things. But honestly – this is just the way things are. -pluto/venus/asc scorp
I don’t see the point in amputating a relationship without looking back… very ignorant as it could be a one-off!
Equally if something is re-occuring repetitively it can be silly to wait around and hope for a change. (something I assosciate with pisces)
Anyways, my friend who has a Scorpio sun and moon and a fixed Leo rising… she actually told me once not to be offended by someone because they probably just had a bad day, and she’s very forgiving when you apologise sincerely.
So I don’t think all Scorpios are bad at grudges. Then again my Scorpio friend does also hold grudges… against people who wronged her back in the past and never apologised, even if she hasn’t seen them in ages. I see her blood boil if I bring any of that up. Things like people pranking her door, throwing a snowball at her living room window in winter or calling her names (which is more understandable).
I’ve noticed also that the 3 women of her family have strong Scorpio/Cancer influence in their charts. And they all seclude and alienate themselves from the external world just as much as the world exludes them. It’s a shame. They’re loving people though!
This post is the reason ive named myself psychoscorpio. even as a kid in the playground i knew just saying sorry wasnt enough. however, i believe the ability to really make soneone sorry comes from wanting to restore balance/karma/see justice served. its really only in close relationships that i use this ability. Having said that though, i have a very hard time letting go which is only destructive energy.
Heavily plutonian with Venus in 8th house. I will forgive, never ever forget. The people I amputate are the ones who never say sorry or acknowledge what they did wrong to me. The ones that bother me the most are the ones who expect forgiveness because they say sorry and go back and do whatever they did again. By not accepting apologies it helps them see their errors better. They think hey I really must have fucked up if LPG won’t forgive me. My ex boyfriend who was an Aries tried multiple times to get back with me. I took him back once but the way he treated me just never left my hindsight.. He made fun of my nationality and that is something that hurts me ddeply considering I didn’t choose where I was born or who my parents are..
I’m getting the karma of this action back though. I made a mkistake with my most recent ex by amputating him now I really miss him and realize that amputating him wouldnt make him chase me and now I really want a 2nd chance but doubt I will get one…
So all us heavy Plutonian and Scorpio people who think we are the great levelers and have the ;power of karma in our hands, remmeber we make mistakes to and it will come back.
Haha thank you, I had a little laugh while reading the post.
I think it depends on the action they did- but either way I will not forget it. It’s weird, because you see what the person is capable of doing/ saying to you. And who betrays you once, will probably do so again later.
But I can forgive and I forgave a lot of times. But you have to assure them that you want them back as a friend.- Here again, it depends what you did.
I don’t believe in astrology but I’m friends with a girl who is Scorpio and we have been friends for over 5 years. She always calls me her best friends and sometimes talks about marrying me in the future. I’m a Capricorn and she has always been the one chasing me. Recently, I said some mean things to her as i saw her being more busy with her other friends. I told her to go and die and said our friendship is over. Just after a few days, I realized my mistake and said sorry to her. Now, she’s giving me silent treatment as she’s not answering my calls or texts. I feel like i have messed up really bad this time. During this week, I have reflected on my mistakes and what i can do to not repeat them again. I really think that i can be a better person but i just don’t know how to explain this to her.
My husband is a Scorpio and doesn’t forgive people ever. If the offense isn’t too threatening he may give a second chance while feeling them out, perhaps They just made an honest mistake as we all do sometimes, but he will not give another chance after that. He usually doesn’t give people even first chances though, he automatically zones in on someone’s character.
He will tell me things about potential friends of mine on first meeting them and warn me to stay away from them… I argue with him and say “you don’t know them, They might be nice”. Sure enough, they end up being the same kind of person he thought. He is never wrong about character.
I’m about 100% positive if I hurt or betrayed my husband he would turn his back and amputate me completely. I do agree that only genuine remorse can win them back. And They will know if you’re genuine. You will have to sob and sob and confess and change your actions pronto.
Hi Satori and everyone, You all seem to know a lot about Scorpios, especially about forgiveness. So if you could please help me I would really appreciate it!
Here’s what happened…
I am/was dating a Scorpio man 35yrs old(6 scorps in is birthchart including Venus) he loved me, said he wanted to marry me, be with me forever, I was his soulmate and I felt the same way, reciprocated everything sincerely felt the same way. I adore this man with my entire being. He did the typical Scorp hot cold things a few times, but it was never for that long and I like my space too, so I could handle it. Then, after lots of passionate expressing of our love for eachother (via text) and just chatting and being silly and having fun. He disappears. I text him a couple times over a few days, saying ”hi”, sent pictures of smoothies I was making, ”everything ok?”. Nothing. He was getting my msgs as I could see the green ‘recieved’ icon. So he was basically ignoring me. I tried to think if any little thing I said or joke I made that he may have taken the wrong way but I couldn’t think of anything. I started getting sad and worried and as I have a hard time trusting men (from bad past experiences) and after about 9 days of him shutting me off, I wrote a text, through some tears, saying how I have all these reasons going through my head as to why he has all of a sudden stopped contact and I can’t help it but my defense mechanism was kicking in and I said ”take care”. And deleted the app we used for texting off my phone it was making my phone freeze anyway and also as to not be tempted to msg again and continue making a fool of myself. We still had skype and he had my phone number too (we are long distance). THEN more days had passed, SO like a fool I Skyped him saying ”hey listen I have like 3 Scorps alongside 4 Leos in my birthchart so I can be a bit intense and I feel things deeply so I’m a bit of an intense weirdo lol” indicating I meant no offense, and I was still here. Nothing. So me being a silly cat I thought well he’s obviously just stopped caring about me, time to save my silly big heart and msgd a couple days later on Skype AGAIN (shakes head) saying ”whatever this is, I tried. You win…I give up. Soulmates don’t do this. regardless, If you ever need a heart transplant, you can have mine xx”. And blocked him on Skype (facepalm). SO the days pass and I’m slowly dying of a broken heart and I finally realise how stupid I have been. So he was ignoring me, for whatever reason, I acted like an impulsive twat. SO, last night, I’m lying in bed, and thought I gotta fix this. Went on Skype, unblocked him and said ”I didn’t understand why you stopped talking to me and it doesn’t matter anymore.
You had said you would never hurt me, I was hurting so, I panicked.
This is me, I find it hard to trust, I have scars, also this really stooopid thing called pride and
I am apparently sometimes completely retarded.
I’m not perfect. I think I should get this tattooed on my forehead…probably need to laser your name off first though… *(he had joked that he wanted my name tattooed on his forehead so everyone knew he was mine)*..
I don’t want us to part ways stupidly. I acted impulsively and like a fool, I’m sorry.”
and I’m just going to leave it like that. I can’t do anything more.
I’m a pretty strong independent woman, I have my own life, it’s a pretty exciting one with lots of adventure and fun and just good things, I’m successful and confident I’m stable and caring. I’ve a good heart and am kind towards other people…but I seemed to have botched this up and now basically could care less about anything.
Will he forgive me? It’s my fault, I was an idiot for being scared and impulsively trying to protect my stupid fragile heart. This man is my soulmate. From all I have read in the comments…it’s irrepairable isn’t it? :'(
I’m 28yrs old and I’m a Leo (please be gentle)
Thanks in advance
OMG. I’m 28 year old Leo too!!!!! Same exact thing happened except He was Sun-Capricorn/Moon-Scorpio man. It hurts till this day as to why he stopped communicating with me after expressing my most deepest, most vulnerable feelings on earth to him and didn’t give any response what so ever. It’s like I never existed. This was probably the most painful experience I’ve ever been through in regards to relationships. The feelings of abandonment just tore me up. There was no official break-up or closure. I’ve cried for many months straight because I just couldn’t understand. He was my baby, why did he leave???
Sun, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, Midheaven, and some minor asteroids are in either Scorpio or the 8th house. Also my current progressed Moon is Scorpio too.
I can relate. However perhaps my Aquarius rising softens this a bit as I do not see things as stark black and white, there are sliding scales for me.
I will say a genuine heart felt acknowledgement of how one’s unintentional and regrettable actions make them feel the need to seek atonement can absolutely help the healing process and potentially start one back on an upward track regarding respect and trust specifically.
But yes we can detect bull shit, and insincerity is sometimes worse than nothing. I truly can and do forgive and find much value in the act of forgiveness, but this is different than regaining trust or respect that may have been lost, these must be ‘re earned.
As for the “I am sorry if I hurt you.” I understand some people are clueless, Also if one honestly doesn’t have a clue what they did and waits until I am in the right state for them to ask I have explained to some select individuals I felt were sincere.
Hi Ash
You said that this has been going on for weeks, here’s a couple thoughts.
Yes Scorpio can go deep into themselves to re focus and reflect, however the time frame seems quite long. And if you both feel you are soul mates the amount of time doesn’t seem to fit.
I would consider that the relationship may be over. If you wanted to pursue this further you might try this as a last try. As soul mates you should know some people like the Scorpio’s family or friends and ask them if he is alright like not in a hospital or anything like that, because you haven’t heard from him in like a month. Be prepared to move on.
One thing to remember your a person too, and if the relationship in over in his eyes then you will need to heal and find another, hang in there
Thanks for your reply Bruce, I really appreciate it.
🙂
Ash
As an Aries who attracts Scorpios like mad, I cannot understand the grudge holding. Once the “whatever” has occurred, I simply cannot hold onto the anger. Life is too short. People are infallible. I don’t feel the need to be judge and jury of people being human, it’s what I expect. I feel that people who hold onto their anger use it as some kind of fuel that sustains them. It has an opposite effect on me. We’re all different. But I have truly loved the Scorpios in my life, and have had difficulty getting them to see any but their own point of view without adding some drama to the mix. It always seems to me they can dish it out, but can’t take it. People tend to give Scorpios a lot of slack because their feelings run so deep. I find that odd when it comes to love, forgiveness, accepting our human weaknesses and foibles, I have no problem having compassion for people and the hurts they have caused me. Just my two cents. Have a great day!
*aren’t infallible…
I love Scorpios deeply as well. And my Venus is in Scorpio so I would like to think I can at least try to understand why they hold grudges.
From my experiences with Scorpios and my own nature, I personally think maybe its because Scorpios do not trust easily. It takes them a long time to allow someone into their inner inner circle. To them, trust and loyalty is everything. Trust=vulnerability…for everyone. But for a Scorpio, when there is a sense of betrayal it cuts deep. Some of the grudge to me is hurt and the subsequent anger at the unjust betrayal of loyalty and trust. this fuels their ability to hold the grudge and truncate the relationship for years.
Personally, Its safer for me to avoid future trust with that person and safer for the person involved. I feel an overwhelming urge to hit back and as an intuitive I know just where to hit. I’ve seen the horrible consequences of doing this so I sometimes simply try to avoid doing that by avoiding the person. Especially if I dont love them enough for it to be worth it.
Even expressing anger there should be trust that the person will hear and value it. Scorpios know they can do that with.
Some of it could also be the fixed nature which can challenge some Scorpios to be more yielding and fluid. Other planets in their charts can sometimes soften or ground.
Scorpios can sometimes have a difficult time with what they perceive as other peoples weaknesses in character. But this can soften as they gain experience.
These are just my perspectives.
My best friend is a Scorpio and knows he can express myself freely with me because Im strong enough to take the storm head on.
how do you own up to it? a scorpio doesn’t want to hear your apologies and I cant think of the right thing to say.
You confront them firmly. Acknowledge what you did and admit where your weakness is and sincerely resolve to work on it.
WORK ON IT.
You are apologizing because its the right thing to do. They then have the choice to accept the apology. If they dont it is what it is. You might rebuild trust but it will take a while depending on the offense. But having the guts to admit the fault helps you too
I can accept a sincere apology where the person acknowledges it was his/her failing and is committed to 1. never doing it again. 2. willing to show me through action it will never happen again. And if I get the slightest whiff of you thinking you’re indulgently placating me, out you go.
If you can’t be bothered to respect and take me seriously, I can’t be bothered to remember you exist.
My grandmother is a Scorpio. Certainly explains why she’s held a grudge against her sister for DECADES. I don’t even remember the last time they said two words to one another.
Grudges are legendary in my family. Mom and my sister didn’t speak for 3 years…and for awhile, they were DONE with each other. Neither is a Sorpio, but they’re fixed Suns nonetheless. No one wins that contest.
wow that is exactly what happened to my girlfriend’s aunty who is a scorpio sun, and her grandmother is a Taurus sun. The two held grudges forever and didn’t talk or see eachother for over a decade. no Christmas, no birthdays and won’t even come to any family weddings. even my girlfriend’s which hurt her, cause her aunty knew that the mother(grandma) would be there. it was all about money and property too. scorpio aunty felt that the division of property was not fair!! her brothers got all the houses and she got nothing. that she should depend on the husband.
Scorpio dominant. Sun in the 8th. Jupiter and neptune in scorpio. Pluto square sun, moon and venus. Pluto trine mercury and MC. Pluto sextile neptune and bQ Saturn.
What you describe is pretty much exactly how it works for me. I have definitely cut people off completely and the only thing that maaay make me forgive(never forget, though) a person is…yes, what you wrote: “you must understand what you did, why it was terrible, and you must BE truly, truly sorry.” I may not entirely trust you afterwards, but I may at least attempt to give it a try…depending on what the person did. Some things are just unforgivable.
Grudges are being described as ….. the Scorpio is walking around hissing and booing and cursing the name of the person…. or they walk around in anger and hate….not true.
You are dead to them. Unless you have really committed a heinous crime (like killed a family member) …. they don’t give it another thought. It’s over. People think its a grudge. It’s not in the sense that they are off brooding in a corner for 20 years hating your guts. They probably forgot you not long after you forced them to walk away.
Soup, this is what I recognize. I am virgo, sun and asc. But my Pluto is in Leo in house 12. I have Saturn in Scorpio, Scorpio in house 3 and Gemini on Midheaven.
This is so interesting to read!
But what if Scorpio or Leo makes a mistake?
And he or she wants to be forgiven???
OR IS THAT A STUPID QUESTION???
Those that live by the sword understand they to must die by it:).
They just can’t spell sometimes…sigh.
I have a hard time forgiving someone who repeats their offense.
This is out of self-preservation. Because I am actually quite willing to forgive you, if you stop or have changed, given that I can trust you. I think about it occasionally. How nice it would be if we could get along. But if I forgive you, then you repeat your offense, I put myself in a bad position — I put myself in a position to get hurt repeatedly. It’s better if you’re considered dead to me. For my well-being.
Perfect
You never disappoint Teresina
I am the same way in that situation. Self-preservation trumps tolerance.
I’m probably in the minority, but there are two Scorpios who have wronged me, not the other way around. Scorpios are loyal as hell, but perfect? They’re humans, aren’t they?
Hermit, that is why I asked “What if…” I don’t know if you are in the minority: I also was wronged by a Scorpio, and not once. No one is perfect and that is a good thing! 🙂
And there is so much to learn! I am always glad when I have an aha-experience. I love the Elsa blog!
I do see that asking a Scorpio forgiveness, if you are the one that hurt/wronged them, is a work in process.
My God is this true. Scorp Sun, Cancer Moon 8th house, Scorp rising- though in the late degrees so it’s almost Sadge.
8H Libra Sun; Scorpio Jupiter/Neptune conjunction; 7H Virgo Pluto square 4H Gemini Mars; 7H Virgo Pluto opposite 1H Pisces Moon. Relational war of words. I remain deeply wounded after cutting off a perceived perpetrator. Stinks.
I do forgive fairly easily. Unoccupied 8th. Pluto in the 3rd trine Venus. Life’s too short to hold grudges for long but I also won’t and don’t waste time with people I don’t feel can be a weather-proof relationship to begin with. ?
Wow. Great post and comments. I relate to sooooo much that’s been said here. There’s one thing I want to throw out here (sorry if someone else touched on this up-thread; I didn’t read every comment): while it’s true that we sever ties with those who hurt us deeply, this Scorpio (Sun conjunct Mercury, Venus in 8th; Moon conjunct Pluto, Leo in 6th) doesn’t hold a grudge, as such. Rather, I never forget the pain experience and will never subject myself to the potential of another injury. Bottom line: Trust is broken and that is the death blow to any relationship. It took me many years to understand this about myself, more to accept it. Longer to learn that withholding forgiveness hurt me more than the other. I internalized emotional pain and betrayal and until I learned to release the poisoned bonds, I suffered with anxiety expressed physically as ulcers and heartburn. In my experience, only another Scorpio understands the depth of our emotion, so it’s best to do the inner work that brings eventual understanding, forgiveness and release.
Scorpios are good at compartmentalizing. When they decide they’re done with someone, that person goes inside a box, never to be opened it revisited again. Even if the Scorpio happens to see the person again, they will not look inside the box. They’re like a sheet of ice- they don’t see you or know you anymore. I’ve seen my husband do this on a few occasions. It’s a remarkable ability.
Come to think of it, I’ve seen my husband, a double scorpio, put entire life chapters into a box. Literally, just about anything that is a trigger to remind him of the time period is locked in a box. He will not answer questions or talk about certain years of his life .