Aquarius Man, Friends With Ex, Doesn’t Like Hearing About Her New Lovers

aquarius vintage embroidery

Dear Elsa,

I’m an Aquarian man, and I recently was dumped long distance (over email) by my Aries gal. There were a lot of factors against us – she recently graduated from Boot Camp after joining the Navy (which I supported) for one. However, everything seemed to be going great, I was making plans for the future and she seemed to be as well.

I was the best boyfriend she could ask for – totally non-typical Aquarian. I made conscious efforts not to be domineering, to invest myself in her projects, to let her take the lead in the relationship, and to support her in everything. However, this letter arrives, claiming that she “still loves me” and “wants to be friends”, but “can’t be my girlfriend”.

Now, the kicker is this. She calls me frequently still, as a friend…but I feel like I’m talking to one of my guy friends rather than an ex-girlfriend. She tells me about the guy she is currently with, about how he is in bed, and frequently makes references to specific sexual encounters she and I had – always in a praiseworthy sense, but still – I’d rather do the typical Aquarian thing and ignore painful memories.

My question is this – I’m viewing our relationship as a fun “friendship with benefits” that simply ran its course, and want to keep her as a good friend (typical Aquarian response to a breakup). I’m not holding out hope that Aries gal will get back with me – once Aries has decided, that’s that. How can I let hew know that her nonchalance about our 1.8 year relationship hurts me, without shutting her out of my life completely? I know it’s unwise to dampen Aries’s enthusiasm about ANYTHING, especially a new love, but every time I hear her talk about her new man, it stings a little.

Help a confused Aquarian out!
United States

Dear Confused,

What your gal pal is doing with her Sun in Aries and her Moon in Leo is boasting about her conquests. Considering you have your Sun, Moon, Venus and Mars in Aquarius, just having it put that way might allow you a bit more detachment… or not. Because as Aquarian as you may be, you have Neptune exactly conjunct your ascendant, in easy (and very tight) aspect to your Moon and Pluto and this indicates some serious sensitivity.

So what I think is happening is you are trying to stay in head about this. You think you should be able to but your feelings are deep, they leak is all over the place and consequently you find yourself in this situation. And you have some choices via that same Neptune rising and here are the main three:

You can continue to transcend. You can escape this whole situation, or alternately you can try to teach this girl to be more sensitive, which is the option I would recommend. And you’re right. She may not like it. She may want it to be ME, ME, ME. It may be more important to her to be able to brag than it is to have you for a friend and if this is the case, don’t you think you’d better find out?

I’d say, yes. Because if this is the case, she’s really not what you thought she was and at that point, I bet you’ll be able to detach… if you choose.

Good luck.

2 thoughts on “Aquarius Man, Friends With Ex, Doesn’t Like Hearing About Her New Lovers”

  1. As an Aries woman, I can confirm that she’s probably totally unaware of the pain she is causing you. Aries, while known for being self-centered, can be very caring…Elsa has it right – let her know that she needs to be a bit more sensitive. If she’s a good Aries, she will see it & agree (and hopefully, comply). If she’s not, then it’s her loss, right? 🙂

  2. Being an Aries myself, I agree with the last comment,she was probably not aware and since we are not often times very observant it would be recommended to her attention. I was in love with an Aquarius man (still am) and you guys can be pretty hard to peg sometimes. She needs a dose of truth.

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