Aquarius Man Giving Mixed Signals

Hi Elsa,

I’ve been involved with an double-fire horse Aquarius who infuriates me. He is aloof, distant, and ignores me a lot. In addition, we have no physical relationship because he ‘respects me too much’. He calls me ‘wife’ however, and is loyal and true to me. Just when I think I can live with the detachment, he becomes very attentive (for a short time) and completely confuses me. What gives?

Virgo Woman
United States

Click here to see her chart full size


11 thoughts on “Aquarius Man Giving Mixed Signals”

  1. Let’s see if I can see a pattern here as to why you as a Virgo Sun/Capricorn Moon would want to hang with an Aquarius/Sagittarius man. Must be your Gemini/Sagittarius ASC/DES and your Mars in Sagittarius conjunct Neptune . . . and that Jupiter/Venus conjunction in Leo.

    With Sun/Pluto/Uranus conjunct in Virgo opposed by Chiron in Pisces, my suggestion would be to explore your personal control issues & need for autonomy first and foremost. With Saturn moving into Virgo and just about to square your Mars for starters, this would be a good time to start becoming acquainted with your authentic self.

    BTW, loose the Aquarian . . . I doubt very much whether he’s up to your weight as you are a powerhouse and my intuition says those kind of games will only deepen your confusion. 🙂

  2. He respects her too much to have sex with her? Sounds like his chart is the one to question here and sounds like she needs to decide how much she need sex in her life. Respects her too much?? Oy! That’s problematic and screams ISSUES. So, he can only screw women he doesn’t respect? Scary. Okay, I can’t seem to let go of that to even look at her chart. I just want to scream, “Run, lady! Run!”

  3. Gods, this brings back bad memories…15 or so years ago, I got involved with an AQUARIUS (Capricorn moon) who played the same stupid games. His sex drive was nonexistent, and he was 26 at the time!

    When someone says things like that, they’re never going to be interested in anyone. They’re completely self-absorbed, as the Aquarius I dated was. Their main concern is their own trip, and they’re not going to take ANYONE on it. So please don’t be offended, OP–this has notihng to do with YOU specifically. This man will be this way with anyone!

    As for the Aquarius I dated, I finally got fed up with his lack of interest in anything and left him. To this day, I’m not sure what I was doing with him…Saturn was exactly opposing my Sun at the time. I couldn’t see me, a Leo with Sun conjunct Mars and Venus conjunct Pluto with someone like him in the long run. Opposites got thrown together for a while until one got fed up, I suppose.

    As far as I know, the guy has never married…his mother died a few years ago, and my mom saw the obit. He was listed, with no partner and no children. Huh. Not surprising. Guess he’s happy with his life…

  4. As for her chart, I have no idea if this man’s Sun is aspecting her Venus/Jupiter square Neptune, but that may be the answer. With an aspect like that, she’s clearly inflating this nothing of a relationship into something that fits what she wants it to be (Sun/Uranus/Pluto).

    She needs someone with a lot more depth, loyalty, and honesty than this guy. There’s no way that Sun/Uranus/Pluto is ever going to be satisfied with a fly-by-night. How about a Scorpio?

  5. moon/saturn square (8th/10th, cap/aries)
    and venus/mars square (6th/3rd, sag/leo)

    her emotions and attraction seem caught up in work, or things that demand work. and communication. but it seems it would be better spent where effort is made on both sides. it seems like this guy is just dangling attention for long enough to keep her hooked.

    maybe he’s not all that into women, and just needs one around for appearances. there could be lots of reasons. but the 8th moon square saturn yells sexual frustration at me.

  6. … If he was really “true to you” he wouldn’t ignore you to the point of infuriation.

    You have venus conjunct jupiter in leo, which is someone who NEEDS affection/attention, and you have moon in capricorn square saturn… which is a great deal of insecurity and fear when it comes to close relationships. You need assurance. You’re not the kind of person that wants to be just left alone 99% of the time, like it seems this aquarius guy is.

    You have a gemini ascendant, mars in sagittarius, mercury in libra, and descendant ruler conjunct venus… so, you like intelligent, high-energy, friendly men who have something to talk about and share with the world in terms of high ideals. Looks like this is where the “respect” line o’ bullshit comes from. I’ve heard that one from aquarians and sagittarians before… I know how irritating it can be.

    Tell him that you don’t respect men who don’t respect your need to get laid once in a while; you’re not a fucking robot. Please don’t stay with him just because he’s loyal.

  7. Avatar

    rofl June! I love what you say about needing a man that will respect your need to get laid. I’ve always thought that if a guy was really into me he’d want to fuck and talk to me as much as he physically could and even past that to the point of exhaustion.

    But hey, those are my expectations.

    Virgo woman – This guy clearly isn’t into you. Why waste your time? I guess I’d ask myself what I’m getting out of the relationship? Do you like giving and not getting in return? Do you like being pushed away physically while, just sort of, maybe, sometimes, well maybe not.. being pulled towards him?

    I’m so sorry that you’ve gotten hung up on this guy but if you were one of my girlfriends I’d tell you to walk walk walk away and go looking for a man that was hooked on you. And if you were one of my girlfriends and they guy was hanging around when I was around I’d be likely to tell him to bug off. But then again… that’s me.

    Good like finding a live one!

  8. Had a similar experience with an aquarian (aries moon, sag rising) too, many years back who seemed to play aloof one minute, all over me the next. I remember reading somewhere at the time how we can get addicted to the highs & lows of these kind of you get off on the few crumbs you’re given and then left dangling til next time, whenever he decides that will be. It’ll screw you up if you let it continue too long. After 4 years i broke it off but it took me a couple more to get my head straight (esp finding out he’d been sleeping with others behind my back). This guy sounds abit of a control freak and that thing he calls ‘respect’ is just another form of it. Why ‘wife’ too? With no sex, little thats what he thinks a wife is? Thats a dog no? So if you dont mind him treating you like that and are prepared to lose what little self esteem you have left, well go ahead and ‘enjoy’! If not, dump the manipulative little shit and find someone who can give you the earthly pleasures your sun & moon needs.

  9. Avatar
    Jasmine E Portillo

    I am a Leo and I am in a relationship with an Aquarius. He was very into the relationship at the 1st month or two. Then out of no where. He is detached and cery distant. Not sure what happened. I asked him if he wanted to continue thr relationship. He said yes that he loves me. But shows me otherwise. He has time for everyone but our relationship. If things don’t improve I feel like I will throw in the towel. I really hope your relationship works out for ya. I really care about mine but he does not want to compromise and I am about done compromising. 🙁

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