Hi, Elsa.
I’m experiencing the lack of challenge and growth in my one and one half year long relationship with my boyfriend. We have the same birthdate. Late November. Same year.
We are both difficult, stubborn, angry bitches and hard to live with. So much connection, friendship, passion, things in common personality-wise and deep love too. We are apart at the moment, having our first break. We feel we should be together but don’t know if we have it in us to work so hard. Are we meant to be?
The birthday thing has always been so interesting to me. I would love your insight.
Sagittarius On A Break
Hi, Sagittarius. It’s interesting to me as well. Unfortunately, I don’t think there is a one answer to this question.
I have never come across a long-lasting or lifelong relationship where the two people were born on the same day. The same week – yes. There are a few things to consider when evaluating a situation like this.
First, what does the (close to) common chart, look like? If it describes a person who likes a lot of familiarity, the potential the relationship would last would be greater than it the common chart describes a wanderer-type person.
You’d also want to look at the 7th house in both the charts. If one of them has Mars in the 7th and prefers friction and challenge in relationship, this would probably indicate this kissing cousin thing is not their bag. Same with Jupiter in the 7th or Uranus.
Generally speaking, a mix is probably best. Most couples have the slower moving outer planets in common. They’re from the same generation, which does come into play.
For example, my husband and I are in a band with people much younger than we are. He’s a guitarist. He took off playing so hit song from our era, while on a break. The woman next to me, who is fifteen years younger, listened intently, straining to place it. “House Of The Rising Sun.” I said. Then it came to her.
You can see how this commonality would tie two people together. But what you’re describing is two people who look in a mirror and are horrified, at least to some extent.
This does not mean you can’t make it as couple. I’m sure you can, if you choose too. But you will be dealing with being closely associated so if you don’t want that, then this has been a nice experiment – get out now.
Are you and your partner astro-twins?
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My ex and I were born a week apart, so he started the transits before me, and by the time the transits hit me, I was so exhausted from dealing with his stuff that my transits just took me DOWN. For instance, Pluto squared his Venus first… he started getting irrationally jealous, accused me of infidelities that never occurred (yes, in hindsight I wonder if he was the infidel!) and it just wore me down and down and down and when Pluto squared my Venus a year or so later, I was DONE. Sometimes I think that if both partners are aware of astrology, a lot of this can be mitigated, but seeing as though I have never found a man who was also as interested in astrology as a path for self-reflection, I cannot confirm.
If you are difficult, stubborn and angry, you could consider working on yourself regardless of your boyfriend’s behaviour. I realise that it’s exhausting and infuriating having a tempestuous relationship however nothing is likely to magically change unless you work on yourself (as you can’t change other people). I would say ditch him, but you say there are lots of things you love about him. So you have choices: leave things as they are (don’t get back together), get back together and work on yourself or get back together without working on yourself and continue in a relationship that makes you unhappy. No one can save you – you have to find the answer through hard work, I’m afraid! Maybe start by googling psychology websites that explain why people can carry a lot of anger and stubbornness? You may discover you are carrying fear (with its roots going back to your childhood) and an inability to accept change for whatever reason. I guess you could ask ‘What are my values and does the boyfriend fit into your value system)?
Woe….the husband has Mars in 7th…I’ve Saturn/Uranus in 7th…first 35 years a bliss..
his 2nd Saturn Return…he lost his will power and exploded into total ass….
I know two guys, born on the same day (Sept 3rd), different years, the ONLY two people I have ever met who despise carrots.
I wish. My exact Astro twin is a famous Russian billionaire oligarch. Too bad he doesn’t have an Astro twin fetish so I could guilt him into thinking I deserve some of his money. 🙂
My husband & I have our birthdays and anniversary 4 days apart. We have Sun conj Sun; Moon conj Moon; and Merc conj Merc. But we’re different generations….
Not my partner, but an intriguing Astrological story. A girl whose last name was a letter away from my mine shared homeroom with me through High School and we always sat next to each other.
I always felt a strange affinity with her and I sometimes thought her a sister. She must have felt the same because she told me she was studying Astrology and practically fell over when I answered her asking my birthday; June 2nd 1951, the same as her. So we were Gemini twins in the literal sense! I’ll never forget this because I became a serious student of Astrology from her introduction to the art. I’ve gone so far as teaching Adult Ed. classes on the subject. We flirted with dating, but like magnets of the same pole, we never “clicked”. Too similar I suppose.
I had deep feelings once for someone with my birthday. We definitely had a connection but I dont think there’s any way we ever would have been able to stand each other in an actual relationship. We are Pisces so most likely we would have both stayed under the sea, not being able to come up for air. Highly unstable, just the thought of it makes me feel queezy. I need a partner who is more in reality than I, someone who can give me reality checks when I need it, someone who can help me find my way through the fog, in other words, make sense of this life, make it more clear for me. My parents were both Virgos born one day apart, they were married 5 years and let’s just say they criticised each other to death.
Not saying it can’t work, just my experience.
Maternal twins were born Halloween night, along with me. We went to school together. I sometimes wondered how dating would have gone with her. It’s a little late now to be thinking on it, ha ha.
There were two live performance artists, Ulay and Marina, that were in a relationship (as well as working together) for close to a decade.
They were supposed to marry by creating a live performance piece together. Each was supposed to start at the opposite end of the other on the Great Wall of China and meet in the center, taking the exact number of steps as one another.
When they met at the center, Ulay had told Marina about how he had knocked up his interpreter. Marina ended the relationship.
Couples who share the same birthday have just as much a success rate as couples who don’t. A relationship’s success depends on the maturity of the two individuals.
My good friend of over 35 years married a man with a birthday 2 days before hers (same year) they are male and female versions of the same person. I guess it works if you really like yourself and don’t need or want much contrast. They have been married for 22years
That is awesome, I am hoping for great outcome with the man I met that has the same birthdate as I just different year.
I know of such a couple. They were high school sweethearts and eventually married. Have always referred to the other as their soul mate. They’ve been married for almost a decade. Born on the exact same day, same year. They are Pisces, maybe it’s the merging. You can’t think of one without the other, they are so intertwined.
I have no idea about their birth times.
I don’t think I could even remotely tolerate anyone like me. lol
one of my best friends on high school. we’re still on great terms. but we didn’t stay besties for more than about half a year.
i think her libra ascendant found me too awkward to be around constantly 😉 it’s amazing the difference a chart tilt of 30 degrees can make.
Me and my wife where born the same date and we have been together for 22 years
I think it’s made us closer
My husband and I were born on the same day and been married for 18yrs been together 27yrs
Welcome, TL.
When I read this article it gave me a down feeling but to see people comment about birthday twins who have been together years really brought me back up.
My husband and I share the same Birthday. We have have been married fourteen years. After some calculations, we decided I am five hours older. He was born in Germany and I was born in the US. He is my perfect match.
I’m falling for someone who was born 2hours earlier the difference also because separate time zones.we actually have so many similar life experience he jokes we’ve been leaving separate similar lives.
I’m loving the positive stories. Have you any lessons you wish you’d learnt earlier about the dynamics of maintaining such a relationship?
Found this through Google. I met a guy that was born 2 days after me. Our Chart is so close the only thing different is that he has a Capricorn moon. I have a Sag moon. Normally I find cap moons kind of uh boring? Sorry cap moons. So far he checks all the boxes but. . Any thoughts?